Last weekend's episode of SNL was fantastic; easily the best of the season (although John Hamm's effort was great, too), and one of my favorites over the last couple years. Many, many sketches are worth your time and effort on Hulu, but nothing made me laugh harder than the final sketch of the night, starring Fred Armisen, host Ashton Kutcher and my Favorite Guy In Rock, Dave Grohl.

Enjoy. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Season 6 - Episode 1/2: "LA X."

The first Lost Friday of the year is upon us, as is the final Lost Season Premiere ever. We have much to discuss; try not to get too misty-eyed.

The atmosphere in my home leading up to the first episode of Lost in nearly nine months was festive to say the least, unarguably obsessive at most. So much so, that even my birthday a day earlier took a backseat to the Season Premiere. Amongst the various well-wishings and complimentary appetizer coupons at several Madison-area restaurants, all I cared about was that clock striking midnight, knowing that Lost would soon be here.

Rest assured, if I’m fortunate enough to die in a bed, my final hours will be spent watching television instead of saying goodbye to loved ones. I’ve accepted this, and I hope they will, too.

(Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...your hero.)

As far as Season Premieres go, this one was a good combination of entertaining, understated and lightning-fast. Unless you count the appearance of the alternate-dimension storyline, there was no big shock of a revelation that we’re normally accustomed to in these episodes. Most of us had accepted that we would see something to this effect during Season 6, and I for one, love it. Furthermore, the confusion of having two different Island timelines happening at once has come to an end (thanks, Faraday!), giving us an easier-to-follow Present Day Island story, running parallel with a Do-Over story that’s absolutely brilliant so far in its execution. More on that later.

Without further adieu…let’s KNOCK IT OUT!

(In Loving Memory of The Thick & Meaty: 2006-2009.)

IN 2004, WHEN THE PLANE NEVER CRASHED:

This storyline seems to follow the path that in 1977, the H-Bomb successfully destroyed the Island, theoretically banishing it to the bottom of the sea. Furthermore, either our heroes are on a plane different from Oceanic 815, or that 815 simply does not crash.

("Yeah, you probably forgot that I'm a major dick. Button that shirt.")

We see some familiar banter on the plane: Jack drinking heavily, chatting with flight attendant Cindy, making nice with Rose and Bernard. Jack excuses himself to tinkle, where he notices a bleeding sore under his shirt collar. Heading back to his seat, he notices Desmond sitting next to him. They both feel as if they’ve met each other before (and they had, in the stadium where Desmond was training for his sailboat race).

(Hurley comes to the painful realization that there is no more ham left on the plane.)

In the Original Timeline, Desmond was in the Swan Hatch at this exact moment, making the decisions that would eventually lead to the plane crashing. In this Alternate Timeline, with the Island never existing for him to wash his sailboat ashore, Desmond seems to be a passenger on the plane. However, when Jack returns to his seat later in the flight, Desmond is nowhere to be seen (even Rose states that she did not see him).

Ruh-roh.

("AAUGGHH! IT'S THE MAN IN BLACK! HELP--oh wait, it's a mirror. Fourth time today.")

When Jack heads to the bathroom, we start to see the re-intertwining of the survivors, as he bumps into Kate, who steals his pen in order to later free herself from the Marshal’s handcuffs.

We then see Hurley, who seems to revel in his celebrity status as the owner of Mr. Cluck’s. He tells Sawyer about his lottery winnings and proclaims himself to be the luckiest man alive, while Sawyer warns him about being taken by con men such as himself. This is in contrast to the Original Timeline, where Hurley considered himself to be plagued by bad luck, and a silent owner of the Chicken Shack.

("ZzzzzHobbitHobbitHobbit...ZzzzzHobbitHobbitHobbit...")

We then see Jin and Sun, who are still seething with tension. But check this out:

In the Original Timeline, we see Jin and Sun as a very unhappily married couple. Sun had already tried to flee Jin earlier, before deciding to gut it out and follow Jin to Los Angeles, where he was set to deliver a watch for Sun’s father. In the Alternate Timeline, however, we see Jin and Sun are not married (Sun is referred to as Ms. Paik, not Mrs. Kwon, and neither are wearing wedding rings). Furthermore, Sun doesn’t appear to understand English, and Jin seems to be carrying around an awful lot of American currency for an insignificant watch-delivering mission.

("Christ, Charlie, you're not supposed to eat heroin.")

Back to John Locke. He strikes up a conversation with Boone, who tells him that he tried and failed to get Shannon out of a bad relationship (she’s presumably still in Australia). This is different than the Original Timeline, where Shannon agrees to follow Boone home. Furthermore, in the Alternate Timeline, John Locke was allowed to go on the walkabout, whereas in the Original Timeline, he was not.

("I know, I should be in the Swan Hatch right now, accidentally crashing this very plane, but I'm not. You see, when you detonated that hydrogen bomb back in 1977, you sunk the Island, which meant I never washed ashore there during my race around the world, which meant that I never had to be trapped there, which means that this parallel universe had damn well better be the right one, otherwise I'm going to carve one of your gonads out with this tiny liquor bottle.")

Meanwhile, Charlie decides to swallow a baggie of heroin in the lavatory, to which Jack and Sayid respond to save him. Charlie doesn’t appear too happy to be alive, beginning what seems to be an over-arching theory that the past cannot be changed once the future has already been decided. In the Original Timeline, Charlie merely snorts some of the junk and flushes the rest of it down the toilet.

(He's been looking at Desmond and making this face for the last 20 minutes.)

It should be noted that while Michael and Walt are not seen on the plane in the Alternate Timeline, I wouldn’t rule out that we’re merely supposed to assume that they are there. Same goes for all of those Tail Section folk like Ana Lucia and Mr. Eko.

The plane lands safely, authorities cart Charlie away for his shenanigans, and everyone else begins to disembark. Afterwards, we find out that Oceanic Airlines cannot locate his father’s coffin, which was supposedly checked into the cargo hold. Similarly, they have also lost John Locke’s case of knives. They have a conversation about Locke’s paralysis, where Locke states that his condition is irreversible. Jack tells him that ‘nothing is irreversible,’ essentially reversing the ‘Man Of Science, Man Of Faith’ conflict that has followed Jack and Locke for years now. In the Original Timeline, both the knives and the coffin successfully stay on the plane while it crashes.

("Oh, hey...excuse me. I was just, um...DO YOU WANNA HAVE SEX AND GET MARRIED!?!?")

Finally, we return to see Kate and the Marshal. She picks the cuffs in the bathroom with Jack’s pen, knocks the Marshal out and escapes with his gun. She flees to an elevator, where she runs into Sawyer, who seems to be keen to what she’s up to. This seems to set up a future storyline where they work together in a satisfying and semi-attractive life of petty crime and thuggery.

Escaping the airport, Kate gets into a cab, pulls a gun on the cabbie and commands him to drive. We then see that he already has a passenger: Claire.

(Locke's not even paralyzed here, just unabashedly hammered.)

IN PRESENT DAY, WHERE THE DETONATION WORKED:

Here’s all you really need to know about the first few minutes. Juliet’s detonation of the bomb put everyone on the same page, Island-wise. No more 1977, just present-day stuff, although complete with the Dharma vans and some other confusing remnants.

(If you don't listen to Al Gore, this will be Nashville in 10 years.)

They spend the next few minutes attempting to save Juliet, who eventually dies from her injuries. According to Miles, she wanted to relay to Sawyer that the detonation worked.

Meanwhile, Sayid is fading from his gunshot wound. Jacob appears to Hurley (who can see dead people, remember), telling him that he can save Sayid if he takes him (and his guitar case) to the Temple.

(These are the remnants of the Black Hole Of Suck created when Jerry Jones high-fived George W. Bush at Dallas Stadium. There were no survivors.)

At the Temple, the Others are surprised to see our group and nearly shoot them, before Hurley announces that Jacob had sent them, along with the case. Dogen, the leader of the group, smashes open the ankh stored in the case, revealing a piece of paper while asking for the survivor’s names. Afterwards, Lennon (Dogen’s translator), informs Hurley that the jist of the transcript was that the Temple folk will be in trouble if Sayid dies. Through this, they decide to help heal him.

("Everyone I've ever loved either gets shot or is Kate! Sick of this crap!")

The Temple folk drag Sayid back to a Fountain Of Youth-style pool, where it appears as if it’s no longer working (no thanks in part to Jacob being killed). That being said, they still manage to dunk Sayid and seemingly drown him. This bums everyone out.

(Juliet secretly hopes that by detonating the H-Bomb, she can go back in time and not choose to star in V.)

Hurley decides to have a chat with Dogen, who can speak English. Hurley reveals that Jacob is dead, which sends the Temple folk into a tizzy, laying black powder down and sending out rocket flares, presumably a measure to protect themselves from the now-unstoppable Smoke Monster.

Oh, and Sayid? Totally alive.

(The Smoke Monster represents the line in the sand when it comes to 'Totally Awesome' and 'Totally Asinine.')

IN PRESENT DAY, AT THE STATUE:

Jacob’s Nemesis/Man In Black/Lockelganger/Smoke Monster tells Ben that Jacob is now gone, after being murdered by Mr. Linus himself. He also wants a word with Richard inside in the statue, and sends Ben out to summon him.

(I'm just going to go ahead and say it: Worst. Marshal. Ever.)

Ilana and Bram are outside, discussing entering the Statue with Richard. Richard claims that you can only go into the Statue unless you’re summoned by Jacob (which, let’s face it, won’t be happening anytime soon). Ben comes out and is immediately attacked by Richard, who shows him Locke’s corpse. Ben pisses himself, realizes just what happened, and goes back into the Statue with Ilana and her men.

(Sawyer's such a pimp, he can even nail Kate in an alternate dimension.)

Back inside the Statue, Jacob’s Nemesis informs the crew that Jacob is dead, and deflects a few of their bullets as proof of his power. He then assumes the form of the Smoke Monster, killing damn near everyone in a remarkable display of awesomeness and idiocy. After the melee, Smokey assumes the form of Locke again and apologizes to Ben for “having to see him like that.”

(Geddy Lee shows up to set us straight on a few things. A few proggy things.)

The flares from the Temple are seen from the beach as Ben and Jacob’s Nemesis (as Locke) exit the Statue. Those outside attempt to fire at the Lockelganger, but are halted by Richard. The Nemesis tells Richard that it’s good to see him “without his chains.” A stunned Richard replies with “you?”, and is promptly beaten soundly. The Nemesis then turns to the rest of the Others, including Sun and Frank Lapidus, and states that he is “very disappointed with all of you,” before making his way past the real John Locke’s body, a battered Richard in tow.

Smash cut; episode over.

(When you look like this, you're contractually obligated to be a Shaolin Kung Fu master.)

On one hand, I feel like this episode didn’t mess around. We picked up right where we left off at the end of Season 5, and shot ourselves right into the aftermath. On the other hand, I honestly feel that the Island portion of the episode didn’t tell us too much stuff (besides the link between Smokey and Jacob’s Nemesis), and they coasted a little bit in an attempt to get everyone on the same page as far as the parallel storylines were concerned. Either way, I quite enjoyed it.

Alright, enough with the overview, it’s time to BREAK IT DOWN!

1 – There were a lot of great quotes this week, from Charlie’s “I’m supposed to be dead,” to Jack’s “nothing is irreversible.” However, the one that got the biggest reaction out of me was during Locke’s Baggage Claim conversation with a corpse-less Jack Shepherd:

“Well, I hope you find that coffin.”

I laughed straight through to the commercial.

(Waaaait a minute...an Ankh in a guitar case? A mysterious temple? Geddy Lee? Is this all leading up to a cross-promotion with Rush? A Grace Under Pressure re-release, perhaps?)

2 – Out of all the things that happened in the Alternate Timeline, the one that struck me most interesting was the brief appearance and disappearance of Desmond. In the Original Timeline, he had already been on the Island for three years at this point, pressing the button in the Swan Hatch. How he ended up on Oceanic in the Alternate Timeline is still anyone’s guess, although his mysterious disappearance from the flight might prove that he was merely a figment of Jack’s imagination.

(Frogurt represents every Lost fan that has ever asked Damon Lindleof a dumbass question at a comic book convention. Looks like one, too.)

3 – Allowing a storyline where the entire series can start over from the beginning is absolutely brilliant for a show as deep as Lost. Just when you think they can’t tell the story from any more angles, they continue to heap on the layers and intrigue. While it’s debatable that Lost is the greatest drama in TV history, there’s no arguing that it’s been the most well-written. No other show has even come close to dissecting the narrative as much as Lost has over the last six years.

What I think we’re going to see in the Alternate Timeline is the fact that the lives of these people are not better off now that the plane never crashed. Their lives are still going to intertwine, but the bulk of them are not good people (or are not in good places), so it’s silly to reason that they will get (or deserve) a happy ending.

("Cab dry-vah, please take me to MY BAYY-BEEEE!!!")

4 – As much as I don’t want to talk about the On-Island portion of this episode, I suppose it’s extremely important as far as the ‘Good v. Evil’ battle that we’ve seen brewing for so long. You know by now that I’m more interested in the plausible mythology of the show, as opposed to fountains of youth and clouds of smoke that sound like dot matrix printers. That all being said, they’re building to something epic, that’s for damn sure.

5 – Will we ever, EVER, get a flashback episode that tells us what has happened to Cindy, the flight attendant, over the last few years? Her story, to me, is the most intriguing part of the mythology that we’ll probably never get a definitive answer to.

Time to analyze the subliminal, quirky and creepy, with…THE NUMBERS.

4 – When Desmond quickly exits the conversation with Jack on the plane, you can see that he's wearing a wedding ring. Presumably, this means that he's already married to Penny Widmore at this point.

8 – In the Alternate Timeline, Boone tells Locke that if the plane goes down, he's sticking with him. In the Original Timeline, this is what leads to Boone's death.

(Wait, did I say Geddy Lee? I meant Amy Sedaris.)

15 – This is the first episode of Lost to air on a Tuesday in the United States.

16 – The voice-over of Oceanic pilot Seth Norris (played by Greg Grunberg) was done by Greg himself for continuity purposes.

("Hello, can you please connect me with Corpse Baggage Claim?")

23 – Remember the Halliburton suitcase that Kate was so obsessed with retrieving from the Marshal? You know, the one that contained Tom Brennan's toy airplane? Well, in the Alternate Timeline, Kate merely leaves it in the bathroom with the beaten Marshal, not even giving it a second look.

42 – In the Alternate Timeline, Sayid appears to have an Iranian, not Iraqi passport, while sitting on the plane.

Cover your ears! Spoilers ahoy! It's time for THE PREVIEW!

Next week’s episode (06x03) will be titled “What Kate Does.” We will be following Kate and Claire’s taxicab ride, which will focus on a pregnant Claire determining what to do with her still-unborn Aaron.

Well, there you have it; the very first Lost Friday of the year in the books. I had some rust to shake off, but I think it turned out relatively well. I tend to get better the angrier I get with the series (typically by episode 5). Sound off in the comments section, enjoy your weekend and be sure to come back next week. Thanks much.

In honor of Lost's Sixth (and final) season, we here at the CDP are devoting the entire week to our favorite Island-based Time Travel drama. Today, 40 of the best Lost Friday photo captions from Season 4. Enjoy.

Remember to stick around all week, as the very first Lost Friday of the season arrives on Friday.


(I've seen the future, and it's a world without razors.)


("So, it's settled; Charlie doesn't deserve a funeral. Who wants dinner?")


(Hurley risks life and limb to rescue a 'Cool Ranch' Dorito he accidentally dropped into the ocean.)


("HAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!")


("Kate, it's Jack. Have you seen my right eye?")


(Locke slaps Hurley across the face with the power of his mind.)


("Hello, liquor store? Can you deliver a quart of scotch directly to my liver?")


("Listen brother, there's only room on this island for one crazy, bearded drunk, and it's ME!")


("I have freckles, Herpies. Wait, I mean I have herpies, Freckles.")


("MITTENS!")


("Hey bayliff, we're wearing the same khakis. High five.")


("You may want to opt for the plea bargain, Kate; you've somehow managed to kill eight people on your way here today.")


(Apparently, Daniel was a PHD in Douchebagology at Oxford.)


(Desmond realized he was a bit off-course when he saw a dolphin swim past the helicopter.)


("Time travel? Are you f***ing kidding me?")


(Three minutes after his arrival on the show, Daniel manages to ruin everything.)


("Hey Juliet, do you know how to treat an impaling that hasn't happened yet?")


(This is a complicated surgical procedure known as 'The First Base.')


(Jin tries in vain to find a Korean video game that isn't violently pornographic.)


("Bitch said what?")


("Jin, did I ever tell you about the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville? I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville back in those days. I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah—the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...")


(Jack Shepard. Surgeon. Hero. Mildly retarded.)


("You could say that...um...well, speaking coherently is not my...um...primary concern.")


(When your life has been ruined as many times as Sayid's, you pretty much look like this all the time.)


(Man, I'm so sick of people trying to use Jesus as a weapon!)


("Our story is airtight. We'll just say that we hid out in a theater that was showing Speed Racer.")


("Hurry! Captain baked cookies and there's only five left! They're chewy and delicious!")

In honor of Lost's Sixth (and final) season premiering tonight, we here at the CDP are devoting the entire week to our favorite Island-based Time Travel drama. Today, 40 of the best Lost Friday photo captions from Season 3.

I will be live-tweeting during the Lost Season Premiere all night tonight, so make sure you're following @RyanZeinert on Twitter (or merely following along) so you can join in on the fun.


(Desmond packed light, opting to only bring along 48 back issues of Maxim magazine.)


(Eko, suddenly remembering that he has Superpowers, flies off the island.)


(In the distance, Hurley spots a tree made entirely of Slim Jims.)


("Wow, is that a tree made entirely of Slim Jims? Hurley, get over here!")


(Henry Gale's MySpace photo. Funniest caption ever.)


(Ben's restaurant had great food, but the parking was terrible.)


(Jack's rendition of 'Over The Rainbow' blew away the judges at the Prison Talent Show.)


("I'm so sick of Internet nerds making fun of my screencaps! WAAAAALLLT!")


("I never made the connection that cheating on a hitman's wife was a bad idea! RAAALLLLT!!!")


(In just under 30 seconds, Sayid murders a thousand people in his mind.)


("This is you. You suck.")


("You've got to lift it up, brother!")


(Years too late, Locke comes up with the perfect quote for his Senior yearbook.)


(Desmond peers two weeks into the future to see how awesome his beard's going to look.)


("Knock it off, Roy! You're like, 5 feet away from me!")


("WAAAAAAAALLLLT!!!")


(Juliet's annual face-lift didn't pan out quite so well this year.)


(Jack becomes suddenly aware that on the mainland he was recognized as a locksmith, not a spinal surgeon as previously assumed.)


("...And thaaat's how I got into commemorative spoon collecting. You?")


("Jim...Belushi...is...a...comedic...treasure.")


(Brought to you by the Emo Goldfish Council.)


(Hurley is completely drunk....on HAM!)


(This looks just like my Dad's senior yearbook photo.)


(Claire, putting on one of her better performances in awhile.)


("See? Right here, it says 'No Dogs Allowed.'")


("Nice rack, Kate.")


("You may have my kidney, but at least I'm not paralyzed!")


("Whoops, I think I just paralyzed myself again.")


(Just for the hell of it, Desmond takes a point-blank shot at Charlie.)


("WAAAAAALLLLLLLT!")


("Heh-heh...I guess the whole kidney thing was pretty funny.")


(Suddenly and without warning, Locke's appendix bursts.)


("I haven't shaved in 800 years.")


(Sayid gives Karl CPR directly to his spinal cord.)


(0ARWN3D!)


("Liam, be honest. You got bit by that zombie, didn't you?")


("Ta-DAH.")


("You all, gingivitis!")


("Have you seen my BAYYY-BEEEEE!?!?")


("Could you kindly restart my heart?")

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy the Lost season premiere tonight. Another massive helping of Season 4 captions arrive tomorrow. While you're waiting, head on over to the best Lost community on the web, SURVIVING815.COM. Later.

In honor of Lost's Sixth (and final) Season premiering tomorrow, we here at the CDP are devoting the entire week to our favorite Island-based Time Travel drama. Today, 25 of the best Lost Friday photo captions from Season 2.

Remember that I will be live-tweeting during the Lost Season Premiere all tomorrow night, so make sure you're following @RyanZeinert on Twitter (or merely following along) so you can join in on the fun.

Oh, and hey, Happy 28th Birthday to me!


(Even after a horrific plane crash, Locke still likes to bust out the vacation tapes.)


(This is what happens when George W. Bush tries to make toast.)


("I had to take an entire bottle of these every day just to make working with Neve Campbell tolerable.")


("The books beat me at ping-pong again, Sawyer.")


(It's becoming painfully obvious that Locke can't read.)


("Damn it, why can't I ever find the Torture Channel on this thing?")


(As Charlie incessantly rambles on, Eko silently wonders how quickly he could saw him in half.)


(One of these things is an indestructible black mass that can pulverize all in its path. The other is the Smoke Monster.)


(To Charlie's surprise, a piano made entirely of heroin washes ashore.)


("So, you ever been with a huge guy before?")


("I can't believe I was on Party Of Five for seven years.")


("Shhh! According To Jim is on, and it's hard enough to keep up as is!")


("But maybe you and I could...hey, where are you going?")


(Anna and Charlie clumsily re-enact the infamous Deliverance scene.)


(Sometimes, the jokes write themselves.)


(They're digging their horseshoe pits way too close together.)


(Nobody gets back into Chuck-E-Cheese without a hand stamp. Nobody.)


("That's the guy, Sayid. That's the guy that took my Nerf bat.")


(Locke falls for the classic 'tie a board to your leg while you sleep' gag.)


("Waaaaalt?")


(The surviving members of Canned Heat emerge from the woods to record a new album.)


("This Island is one big salad, and I'm digging in!")


(Once you go Locke, you never go back.)


("Wait, come back! You forgot to tell me who I was!")


(Remember, kids; eating celery will turn you invisible.)

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day. A whole mess of Season 3 captions arrive tomorrow.

"Do You Recall Any Outstanding Family Trips You Experienced As A Child?"

When I was 6 (Summer of 1987, I believe), my parents took me and my cousin Scott to Walt Disney World. We drove to Florida, which took a few days, spent a few days in Orlando and drove a few days back. I remember very little about the time spent at Disney, other than not being allowed on a large majority of the rides. There are photos though, and it looks like I had a fairly good time. What sticks in my head most was my dad driving well over 100 mph in Atlanta for hours at a time, and the lingering suspicion that I saw a ghost in the hallway one night at some random hotel. My parents tried to make memories for me; they wouldn't be happy if they realized that these were the only ones that I kept.

I also remember a trip to Kentucky, where we put six people in a 5-person vehicle for the entire duration (it was a tense several hours). I think I was 10 at the time, and the highlight of the vacation was me challenging a mentally handicapped kid to a footrace. I can't remember if I won; I certainly hope that I did.

My family never had a ton of cash for big vacations, so when we wanted to get away, we usually went to Wisconsin Dells, The House On The Rock, or something else that equated to nothing more than a long weekend. I hold these trips fondly; I still go to the Dells every now and again, and the childhood nostalgia keeps me coming back to that mecca of t-shirt stands and mini-golf.

Oh, wait, I do have a vivid memory of riding Pirates Of The Caribbean at Disney World. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, too. That ride kicked ass.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day. For more information on Journal In A Jar, click here.

"Write A Want Ad That Describes Your Mother."

WANTED!

A little neurotic. A little phobic. A bit of an enabler. Eternally optimistic. Prone to bouts of extreme selflessness. Someone who will love me for who I am and how I make them feel. Someone whose trust is their chief blessing and greatest downfall. Someone who cries when they get a photograph for Christmas. A brilliant singing voice. Obsessively clean and neat. Always there. Always supportive. A fantastic storyteller. Comedic timing.

Must be under 5'1". No fat chicks, please.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day. For more information on Journal In A Jar, click here.

"Tell About Some Of The Most Notable People In Your Hometown."

I currently live in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, which was the birthplace of Georgia O'Keeffe. Sun Prairie is home to some other famous faces, but none more recognizable than Ms. O'Keeffe.

I was raised in Larsen, Wisconsin, which was the birthplace of author, blogger and raconteur Ryan J. Zeinert. If there is anyone from Larsen that thinks they are more famous than I am, I suggest contacting me so we can settle it with a fistfight at the Historical Society.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day. For more information on Journal In A Jar, click here.

"Did You Have A Favorite TV Show As A Child? Radio Show?"

I'm copying and pasting my answer from a post I did over a year ago, but all of the answers still hold strong.

1981/1982
WINNER - M.A.S.H. (premiered in 1972)
RUNNER UP - Three's Company (premiered in 1977)
HONORABLE MENTION - The Incredible Hulk (premiered in 1978)

M.A.S.H. was already deep into syndication by the time I was old enough to understand it, but it was that same exposure that made me realize the significance of the program (as we all know, the series finale attracted over 105 million viewers). I was initially drawn to Three's Company because of the slapstick antics of the late John Ritter, but as I get older, I enjoy it because it's one of the filthiest sitcoms of all-time. The Incredible Hulk hasn't aged very well, or spawned anything even resembling an interesting film, but it's still good for nostalgia's sake.

1982/1983
WINNER - Cheers
RUNNER UP - Knight Rider
HONORABLE MENTION - Family Ties

The Missus, in her lifelong quest to hold grudges for the most superficial reasons ever, hates Cheers because she hates Ted Danson (for a reason which still escapes me). The rest of us know that it was one of the greatest and best-written television shows (comedy or drama) of all-time. The fact that they rarely left the bar and still managed 11 seasons of brilliance is proof enough. Knight Rider has greatly diminished in retro appeal since the remake and subsequent fall from grace of David Hasselhoff, and Family Ties still reminds me of just how cute Justine Bateman was and still is.

1983/1984
WINNER - The A-Team
RUNNER UP - Webster
HONORABLE MENTION - Newhart (premiered in 1982)

The A-Team was a hilarious cavalcade of unnecessary violence, pro wrestler cameos and tricked-out GMC vans. The recent rumor of a film remake sounds pointless, but almost expected in this current state of zero Hollywood ideas. Webster will be remembered by me for having a series finale that consisted of the family inexplicably traveling into space with the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Newhart was another classic that I started watching too late, but can look back on fondly as a man-child.

1984/1985
WINNER - Miami Vice
RUNNER UP - Hunter
HONORABLE MENTION - Charles In Charge

Miami Vice was far more influential than given credit for. The use of music, imagery and location has since been mimicked into oblivion by essentially every flashy crime show on television. Hunter ruled because Sgt. Hunter's weapon of choice was a 9mm that he used to pretty much kill at least one person every week. Charles In Charge was a springboard for the limitless talent and world-renowned celebrity of Willie Aames.

1985/1986
WINNER - Amazing Stories
RUNNER UP - MacGyver
HONORABLE MENTION - The Equalizer

Can someone please tell me why the Second Season of Amazing Stories hasn't been released on DVD yet? After winning 5 Emmys (and being nominated for 12), NBC pulled the plug on this incredible anthology series created by Steven Spielberg in 1987. MacGyver needs no explanation, and The Equalizer seems to be a somewhat-forgotten all-time TV badass. "You wanna know what I do for a living? I kill people!"

1986/1987
WINNER - Sledge Hammer!
RUNNER UP - ALF
HONORABLE MENTION - Perfect Strangers

Sledge Hammer! was one of the first 'spoof' shows I had ever seen as a kid, and it was like nothing I had ever seen before. Even then, I loved the idea of tearing apart cliche' in absurd and over-the-top ways, and I consider it a large influence on my sense of humor. ALF is absolute trash if you happen to watch it in present day, but at the time, it was a major hit, and Perfect Strangers was always absolute trash, although nobody in America happened to know at the time; presumably hypnotized by the rugged good looks of Bronson Pinchot.

1987/1988
WINNER - Full House
RUNNER UP - Max Headroom
HONORABLE MENTION - Thirtysomething

I'm something of a Full House junkie; I've seen every episode at least three times, I can tell you what the episode is about within the first 30 seconds and I can relay every character arc at the drop of a hat. Max Headroom was ahead of its time, and it probably still is, honestly. Thirtysomething was the first in a long line of shows where friends sit around and cry about things, and I'll be damned if it wasn't awesome.

1988/1989
WINNER - The Wonder Years
RUNNER UP - Unsolved Mysteries
HONORABLE MENTION - China Beach

Now we're getting somewhere. I know I'm not alone in saying that The Wonder Years was one of the greatest TV shows of all -time, in that it laid the blueprint for hundreds of shows thereafter. The fact that there hasn't been a complete DVD release is almost criminal (securing music rights is what's keeping dozens of brilliant television shows off of DVD). Unsolved Mysteries doesn't necessarily fall into the Comedy or Drama category, but as a kid, this was the scariest show on national television; I still remember the Tip Line 1-800 Number by heart. China Beach was a critically-acclaimed and multiple Emmy award-winning war series that was taken off the air after poor ratings sealed its fate.

1989/1990
WINNER - The Simpsons
RUNNER UP - COPS
HONORABLE MENTION - Seinfeld

Wow; what a year. The FOX Network becomes a ratings powerhouse nationwide, bringing with them two shows that are still in production to this day. The Simpsons is, without question, the greatest television show of the 20th Century (just ask Time Magazine), COPS is a show that I pray runs forever (and why couldn't it?), and Seinfeld was the funniest live-action sitcom ever made. Jeepers.

1990/1991
WINNER - Twin Peaks
RUNNER UP - Get A Life
HONORABLE MENTION - The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air


1991/1992


1992/1993


1993/1994


1994/1995


1995/1996


1996/1997


1997/1998
WINNER - King Of The Hill
RUNNER UP - Ally McBeal
HONORABLE MENTION - Working

It took a long time for a worthy comparative animated series to The Simpsons to arrive, but it did in a big way with King Of The Hill. Mike Judge, to me, is the king of underrated satire, and he hits both sides of the spectrum with the Beavis & Butthead/King Of The Hill universe. Ally McBeal launched my two-year long obsession with Calista Flockhart, and the Fred Savage NBC series Working could have been remembered with as much appreciation as The Office had it had the time to percolate.

1998/1999
WINNER - Sports Night
RUNNER UP - Dawson's Creek
HONORABLE MENTION - That 70's Show

Looking back through TV history, it's a shame to see all of the great shows that were canceled far too soon, only to pave the way for a major hit years later (presumably when the audience has finally caught up to the previous show). Sports Night is one of those shows, and their huge current following only solidifies their significance. Dawson's Creek was a show that I simultaneously loved and hated as a High School Sophomore, knowing full well that teenagers don't talk that that, Katie Holmes didn't exist in my reality and Joshua Jackson carried a season-long affair with one of his teachers. That 70's Show started off extremely shaky, but went on to become a huge hit thanks to the skyrocketing celebrity of some of the worst actors in the cast.

1999/2000
WINNER - Futurama
RUNNER UP - Action
HONORABLE MENTION - Freaks And Geeks

If you didn't like Futurama when it debuted, do yourself a favor and check out a rerun on Comedy Central. It's actually funnier now than it was then. Action was another Sports Night-esque series that pushed the boundaries on network television (bleeped profanities were part of the show, much like we later saw with the Documentary-style shooting of Arrested Development). Freaks and Geeks owes a lot to shows like The Wonder Years, although it more than carved out its own new millennium niche.

2000/2001
WINNER - Malcolm In The Middle
RUNNER UP - Survivor
HONORABLE MENTION - CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Even though the ratings, Emmy nominations and awards say otherwise, I still think that Malcolm In The Middle is one of the most underrated sitcoms in modern television history. They just brought everything to the battle, every single week. Survivor is still a ratings juggernaut, but nothing will compare to that first season, where seemingly everyone in the nation was watching. Then American Idol came along and (rightfully) took away their thunder. CSI was unlike anything I'd ever seen when it premiered, and now it looks like pretty much everything that you see on CBS six nights a week.

2001/2002
WINNER - The Bernie Mac Show
RUNNER UP - Fear Factor
HONORABLE MENTION - Undeclared

While the show fizzled after the departure of the head writer and creator, the first two seasons of The Bernie Mac show were absolutely hilarious and perfectly well-written. Fear Factor needed to be watched for the curiosity appeal alone, and Undeclared took the American Pie 00's humor template and almost instantly got canceled.

2002/2003
WINNER - Andy Richter Controls The Universe
RUNNER UP - Oliver Beene
HONORABLE MENTION - American Idol

I don't know what the mainstream has against Andy Richter, but he just can't carry a show to save his life, no matter how hilarious it was. Andy Richter Controls The Universe could have been on par with 30 Rock had it the time to get over with the audience. Oliver Beene was exceedingly similar to Everybody Hates Chris, and as you should probably tell by now, the Wonder Years style of sitcom storytelling makes me a very happy guy. Maybe a decade from now, I'll have my own show like that.....erm...or not. Then American Idol showed up and destroyed everything in its path for the next six years.

2003/2004
WINNER - Arrested Development
RUNNER UP - Grounded For Life (premiered in 2001)
HONORABLE MENTION - Cracking Up

There is nothing I can tell you about Arrested Development that would be an exaggeration of its comedic and satirical brilliance. Buy the DVDs and watch them. Then watch them again. As far as I'm concerned, it's the post-Seinfeld measuring stick by which every sitcom will be judged. Grounded For Life, to me, may have been the last great pre-Arrested sitcom. Cracking Up was only on for a month or so, but worked very well with shows like Malcolm and Arrested in the FOX Sunday night lineup.

2004/2005
WINNER - Lost
RUNNER UP - The Office
HONORABLE MENTION - House, M.D.

Shocking as it may seem, I did not see the first season of Lost until I bought the DVD that Winter. Within hours, I was obsessed and certain that this was the best TV drama since Twin Peaks over a decade earlier. The Office took an American remake and actually pulled it off, becoming a hit and winning Emmys left and right. House also became one of the most-watched shows on television, now entering their 5th season and making Hugh Laurie over $500,000 an episode. This was clearly a good year for new programming; perhaps the last good one.

2005/2006
WINNER - Sons & Daughters
RUNNER UP - My Name Is Earl
HONORABLE MENTION - Night Stalker

This season was extremely frustrating for me, as two of my most favorite up-and-coming shows, Sons & Daughters and the remake of Night Stalker were canceled too quickly. Sons & Daughters was a slightly-improvisational show that I recommend tracking down on your Bittorrent site of choice, and Night Stalker was unbelievably violent and engaging for a national prime time series. They both could have been stand-alone diamonds, but instead were sent to the curb after a combined two months of lackluster ratings (Sons & Daughters was up against American Idol in the ratings, and Night Stalker was matched with CSI, almost guaranteeing disaster from the start). My Name Is Earl solidified the NBC 'Must-See Thursday' lineup, which is currently the best night of comedy on TV.

2006/2007
WINNER - Friday Night Lights
RUNNER UP - 30 Rock
HONORABLE MENTION - Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip

You wait your entire life to find a show like Friday Night Lights. A blend of nearly everything you'd want in an intelligent drama; I give you my word that Season One of FNL is the greatest season of television that I have ever seen, just barely edging out Lost. 30 Rock is the funniest show on television, and the closest thing we have to Arrested Development in 2008, and Studio 60 was the most satisfying and interesting hour of television I would see each week, until its inevitable cancellation.

I would add a new section for 2008-2010, but really, is there anything new out there that's good?

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