Monday, December 6

Communist Cuddle Party.

I've got a bug up my ass the size of a car battery, and I'm pointing fingers.

The terrible weather, getting raped by bureaucracy at work, the de-evolution of man. These are just a smattering of the hundreds of things today that made me want to stick my unit in the paper folding machine and end it all. For me, bad moods are few and far between. When they hit me, however, I shut right the hell down. I will not speak to you, and I will not be spoken to. In this case, I don't want to bother you with my bad mood anymore. I believe I've done enough damage in the last few days to get me kicked right off of Santa's "good" list. Just know that I'm pissed.

Speaking of Santa, here's my Christmas list for this year:

Well, that's 10 gifts. That's more than enough for you all to chew on. Be sure to get in contact with everyone else so I don't get 2 of any gift. And keep the receipt! By the way, I got these links from, but I don't endorse the page one bit. They screwed me out of hundreds of dollars several years ago, and I never quite got over it. Do NOT do your Christmas shopping through them, they will ruin your day.

Now, what do YOU want for Christmas? I want interaction, people! Let us know in the comments section what's on your list. Who knows, maybe someone will see it and buy it for you. I highly doubt that, but it doesn't hurt.

COMING SOON! - The Best of 2004...The Worst Christmas Ever...CDP Year in Review...5 Year Insomnia...Much, Much More!

Woah, I almost forgot. I really want one of those nice, titanium razors that cleans itself. Those are sweet.
Honey, I'm pretty sure that you meant that GOOD moods are few and far between for you.

I want a bagless vacuum and that's all. Oh, and a Coop. And some angel to drop down and pay off all of our fricken debt. That would rule!
What do you do with steak knives if you don't eat steak? I actually tried to call you on this, but as usual no answer. Do you want a set with the block and all the sizes of knives or just a set of steak knives?
Because you never answer you phone I guess I'll resort to speaking to my only son via computer. Oh and by the way can you explain to me the $5.00 gift game that Celia's family does at Christmas. I'd like to try that with our family this year. What do you think?
They're only called "steak knives" in theory. We just need knives to cut things., new CD's...Celia, can you help me out here? What do we need knives for again?

Maybe we shouldn't get new knives, because it's only a matter of time before Celia slits my throat from ear to ear while I nap.

Come to think of it, perhaps you should explain that $5.00 gift game to her, too. I'm really not the person she wants to talk to.

Come back to me when you have a question about Television or Sports. It's really all I know.
Hey, whaddya mean I'm never in a good mood? Now that I know the Debt Angel is coming for Christmas, I'm a lot happier.
I mean that you're kind of a crankshaft, honeybear.

We need knives because ours are all dull and lousy and they don't cut anything! And yes, I will kill you.

Okay, so the 5 dollar game. It goes like this:
Everyone draws a number to see what order you go in. Before this happens, everyone puts their wrapped gift in the center of the circle without a tag or anything on it. The idea is that you don't want anyone to know who brought what gift. Once you've drawn numbers, you determine the order. You can sit in the circle in whatever order you want (you may want to make an alliance with someone, so sit close to them if you think they can help you out.) Whoever is lucky number one draws a gift from the pile. They open it up and show it to the group. Next, person number 2 has the option to steal the gift from person number one or pick a new gift. If they steal the gift from person number one, then number one gets to pick a new gift. Then you move on to person number 3. Person three can steal the gift from person 1 or 2, or pick a new one. Everytime a gift gets stolen, that person picks a new present. A gift can only be passed 3 times, so once it's been in the possession of 3 people it is locked. You can't steal a locked gift, and the person who has it is stuck with it whether they want it or not. There are no "take-backs", i.e. you can't take back a gift that was just stole from you. You can take it back, though, if someone steals your new gift and you want one of your gifts from an earlier round. It keeps going that way in numerical order. The game is done when the last present on the floor is finally opened.

I hope that makes sense! Otherwise just tell everyone to bring a 5 dollar gift to Christmas and I can try to explain it better in person.
Yup, that's going to end in a fight.

Thanks for explaining the game honey, it's fun if you know how to play and everyone FOLLOWS THE RULES (almost an impossibility in this case). It should be interesting to see how it turns out.

Crankshaft? Like the unfunny old man in the comic strip? You have insulted my honor! I'm going to go all Zell Miller on you.
Thank you Celia! As Ryan stated, in our family this could end up in an argument but that's what the holidays are for. I may need your help on Christmas. Oh and if you would like to participate bring your $5.00 gifts.
We will certainly participate.

Then I'll throw a fit when things get disorganized.

But count us in, I can't wait until Christmas. Hopefully the roads will be halfway decent. It rained so hard here last night that I thought I would awake to a city encased in ice.
What time do you do Christmas at the Zeinert's? Cuz we're usually not done at the ARmstrong's til at least 2.
I don't think they start doing anything until about 3. We've always opened presents well into the afternoon at the Zeinert's.

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