Wednesday, December 1

Sweeps Month.

Did everyone enjoy November? I know I did.

Statistically, November was the best month ever for this page. I don't really know why I had more visitors this month than any other, but it still made me plenty happy. My hit counter is a constant upward slope that's been going on for the last several months. I intend to keep it that way.

I want December to be bigger still, and I'm pulling out all the stops. Celebrity guests! Hard-hitting journalism! Porn by the truckload! It's Sweeps Month, and the boss has lost his mind! Not only that, but I've got other things planned for the new year that I think you'll find enjoyable. Help me make December the biggest month yet for the Communist Dance Par-tay. If you don't come through for me, my head will explode.

I saw that "Blog" was one of the top 10 words of the year according to some dictionary company. After the elections got us Bloggers massive praise and ridicule, the concept went even more mainstream. Now, Bloggers are getting book deals left and right. I've visited the pages of some of the people who signed book deals, and they're not very good writers. I know for a fact that recently I've been slacking on my form and spreading myself too thin, but I still think that some of these book deals are going to hacks. Just my opinion, and I'm right. Let's move on.

Most of my traffic comes from search engines. People end up here searching for something that I'd been talking about or discussing. I took this into consideration when I wrote the following paragraph about my weekend:

"This weekend was really something. I watched Ken Jennings lose on Jeopardy, then I watched a marathon of The Apprentice. I then made a mix CD of some of my favorite bands: Usher, Destiny's Child and Eminem. Once that was done, I called up Julia Roberts and congratulated her on the birth of her twin babies. Then I went to the hottest dance club in the city with my friends Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Natalie Portman and Tara Reid. I was the only one there of the opposite sex. After a few drinks, I called a cab and spent the rest of the night at Laci Peterson's place."

That oughta boost the numbers a little bit.

I took this Friday off so I could get a jump on some Christmas shopping. I seriously doubt I'll be doing any shopping whatsoever on Friday. I'll probably watch daytime television until 1, buy a sub from Cousin's and nap until the Missus shows up. I'm pretty excited, this is my first actual "day off" since I started working over 6 months ago. It'll be just like unemployment again.

Well, I've got to get moving. I have a date tonight with the cast of Desperate Housewives, and then I'm headed off to Iraq to play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas on my Playstation 2. Later.

You will not buy a sub.

That pictures is gross.
Yeah, there's nothing pretty about what might happen to me if I don't start getting more traffic around here. It's a shame, really.

Mmmm....sub. Considering how cold it's going to be tomorrow, I won't be going any damn where.

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