Friday, December 3

Yesterday Is My Day.

Celia took this picture a few months ago while we were driving around Wisconsin. I've noticed thousands of guys just like me with Blogs just like mine, are taking pictures just like this for some sort of admission of sensitivity or attention-grabbing depression. Don't you get sick of that? Isn't it sad to think that a million skinny guys, ages 13-29, are using the same tired technique to snag women into thinking that they'll listen when they talk? Don't you just want to hit me? Watch, next I'll bust out the cheesy emo lyrics that I could never think of writing.

"Your side of the couch
I'm afraid to be on it
I'm afraid of the memories it brings
It's killing my buzz
just wondering where the hell it went
All the nights we spent hiding from the world"

I got some more information about the Benjamins show that's happening December 18 at Mad Planet. This e-mail comes from Chad, the singer for The Saltshakers, who are on the bill that evening:

"Ryan, I ran across your blog, and saw you were looking for info on that Benjamins show. It's a 21+ show and the Etiquette and The Saltshakers are opening. MP is not all that lenient when it comes to letting underagers in, but if you call in advance to ask for special arrangements - they're pretty reasonable people. If you need any more info let me know. Get there at 10 and see us!"

Thanks Chad, will do! It should be noted that the almighty Justin Perkins produced The Saltshakers new CD. The production is great, and The Saltshakers will leave a sweet taste in your mouth! (I'm practicing to be a music critic. Was that a good closing line?)

I talked to Ben from the Benjamins, looking for some sort of explanation for the reunion. His response? "Some of us were bordering on boredom." If you're not there that night, you're worse than nothing. Unless there's snow, in which case I'm not going anywhere. Only time will tell.

As I've been mentioning for the last week, I took today off. I celebrated it by spending $100 in Madison on myself and others. I figured that the State was paying for me to sit on my ass at home, I might as well do something fun with that cash. I bought myself 2 new books from the Disinformation folks and the new CD by Muse. I bought the Missus a cat-themed calendar for her cubicle along with a stuffed cat I found at Toys-R-Us that looks like Tinker. I also bought some Christmas presents that are off-limits from discussion as of right now. I also bought Benjamin the Complete First Season of Home Movies, only to discover that he already stole it from Netflix. Tomorrow morning, I'll be returning to Best Buy with the receipt, and I'm using the store credit to buy more things for myself. I'm never attempting to be giving again.

This is picture that Celia took of me while I was sleeping on the floor. Isn't it funny to think that someone would have the brilliant idea to snap a beautiful sunset, and also be the same person to snap my pants while I was unconscious? I swear to God, there's something wrong with my wife. Remember, photographers are only as good as the material they're presented with.

We went to Pizzeria Uno for dinner, where Celia told me that her former Supervisor had a heart attack. She also informed me that he was a practicing Buddhist. I think he needs to practice a bit harder. It's a sad sign of the times when Buddhists start having heart attacks.

Try not to call or bother me this weekend, God damn it. I'm on vacation. I'm going to spend Saturday in bed with my lady (sleeping), and I'm spending Sunday in front of any televised football game. We have a nice compromise worked out.

The C.D.P. Year In Review
Best/Worst of 2004
Decapitated Stick Figures
Much, Much More!

Lazoid! I got up at 9:30 this morning! It is now 10:24 and I've already done pilates today and pet the cats for about 20 minutes! Sheesh. Kids these days.
Yeah, I noticed that you got up considerably earlier than me. That's pretty uncharacteristic of you, but sort of neat nonetheless.

Still, I've got plenty of things to do today. Like, shave.
Ben and I got up at 9:30 this morning, made blueberry pancakes, decorated our Christmas tree, and then went shopping! It's sad that I consider sleeping until 9:30 as sleeping in. Are you guys having a Christmas tree this year? You should because you're able to get a huge-ass one! Like a 20-foot-tall one! That would be awesome!
It sounds like you and Ben had a very productive day. We have once again decided against a Christmas tree this year due to the cats. In 2002, we had a tiny tree in our first apartment that the cats wouldn't leave alone, and we haven't trusted them since.

It would be really cool to get like, a 10 foot tree for the place, but I just know they would tear it down.
I've been getting up pretty early the last few weeks because I got to bed at like 9:30 0n the weekend. I'm a sleepy-time infant!

Yeah, we can't get a tree because the cats like to chew on the light chords and whatnot. We have a little baby tree but I doubt we'll even put that up.
Yeah.. I know what you mean about the cats wanting to tear down the tree because Franklin's the same way. He chews on the branches, gets all crazy, and runs around. Sometimes he even attempts to climb up the tree (he hasn't this year). But, I expect to come home one day and find the tree tipped over with shiny balls rolling all over the place. But oh well, it's really pretty!
I remember one of the first cats I ever had when I used to live in Larsen. She was merely a kitten, and she would spend all night batting the decorations around the kitchen. It was such a racket, but nobody wanted to get up and take it away from her. We would frequently come home to find her hanging from the star at the top of the tree.

This, combined with the fact that she wasn't housebroken, led her to be eventually sent back to the farm where we got her. 1 month later, she was killed when a cow sat on her.

It wasn't her fault she wasn't housebroken or mature. My family was stupid enough to take a kitten from the farm and let her do whatever she wanted. Nobody wanted to litter train her, yet they got mad when she crapped on the floor.

What a terrible story. I'm seriously pissed off right now. Once again, ignorance claims another innocent victim.
CAts are generally literrtrained by their mother right after they're born. If the cat was pooping on the floor, it was probably taken from its mother too early.
I know that, but my infant sister really wanted a cat, so they obviously had to oblige. Now the cat's dead.

Man, I'm in a terrible mood today. Expect a profanity-laced tirade later on this evening. It's sweeps month!
What the hell do you mean your stupid family? I am pretty sure that if we got a kitten it was both of you that wanted it. As a matter of fact Alissa may not even have been born, it was probably you that we were trying to make happy. And of course we all know that we could never make you happy! There, that should add to your shitty day. Love you.
Oh come on, I was barely serious. Not only that, but I had nothing to do with bringing the kitten home. I remember it very clearly. There was a kitten at the farm that my sister insisted we bring home, so it happened.

I then clearly remember the cat taking one too many dumps on the carpet, and my Dad picking this kitten up by the EAR and throwing it into a tiny yellow car we called "The Finch". He said "Someone's bought themselves a one-way ticket back to the barn!", as if the kitten knew any better. The kitten was with us for less than a month, so you know we tried really hard to break it in.

The next time I saw her, her tiny body was laying in amongst a heaping pile of cow shit, waiting to spread across a field as fertilizer.

Yeah, I don't remember this story at all.

I was plenty happy as a kid, but as far as THIS PARTICULAR STORY goes, it still doesn't feel any better to me.

I don't think this matter needs to be discussed publicly any further. I've had enough problems in the last few days with people posting comments that weirded people out. It may be sweeps month, but I only like it when the outrage is pretend.
Oh, a cow sat on GAbe and now he's dead.

Of course by cow I mean Tinker.
Tinker is a cow, but she takes a pretty picture, don't she?
Don't you mean you only like outrage when it is not about you? :)
That's what this page needs...a scandal! I'll get things started.

Did you know that our President is a lying serial-killer? It's true!

Nah, that's too easy. I'll think of something else.
You are sooooo funny!

Okay, I got another one. Did you know that this page is responsible for the deaths of thousands of cattle? It's true. The server is fueled by cow hides.

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