Thursday, May 27

Sinneslochen Syndrome.


I'm Justin Perkins, and I approved this message.

I'm a busy man. I've got a movie to shoot, a full time job, and a wedding that I have to stand in pretty soon. (Although I can't remember who's getting married) But I still have enough time during the day to show up here to make sure this page is presentable and offer myself to the masses.

SO WHY AREN'T YOU?!?



Is it the weather? The new layout? The undenying fact that I'm no longer funny now that I'm employed? What could it possibly be?

ANSWER ME!!!!



I'm a human God-damn being here! I've got a lot of things on my plate to take care of, and I can't be expected to bring my "A" game day after thankless day, without so much as a "Hey, good job man!", or a "Wow, that was radical!" I'm only one man! I...need...support!!!



All right, I'm sorry. I've gotta calm down here. It's not your fault. You've got things to do, too. Jobs to attend, tans to achieve, plasmas to donate. We're all busy, and I can't expect you to be here for me whenever I need you.

Being the good businessman that I am, I know what to do in a situation like this... another total format change! So the next time you come back here, expect something different from the usual talk. I'll bring something different to the potluck dinner, as long as you promise to bring your little plastic sporks and foons. You deserve it. I'm keeping the format because I like it, but it'll be a different experience, I promise.



Have a great day!

Sunday, May 23

The Polybius Legend.


I'm James K. Polk, and I approve this message.

Some quick things I wanted to share with you today:

1. 3 cheers to FOX for bringing "Arrested Development" back for a second season! Please watch this show every Sunday, as it is the best thing on television in the last 2 years.

2. My first week of work went fine. I'm slowly learning to function on my own, and I'm quickly realizing that I am the lowest rung on the ladder. I will be the "utility" man, which means I will do everything and anything they want me to do; but I'm going to get my own cubicle out of the deal, so I'm going to keep reaching for the rainbow. Wish me luck.

3. We spent this weekend in Minnesota at the Mall of America. We were in the area to pick up our marriage license for our upcoming wedding at Thayer's. Celia got an "Eggstractor" that doesn't work.

Other than that, I'm preparing for a get-together this Friday, and me and Celia are working like feverish little yuppies. I'll have more time to chat this week, but right now I have to watch the season finale' of The Simpsons.

Seacrest...ooot!