Thursday, February 17

Mr. Electric Shock!

We've got some catching up to do. Afterwards, there will be juice and cookies.

1. I turned down a job offer at the Department of Administration here in Madison. The pay was better and it was a significant promotion, but in the end wasn't enough to constitute an entire career change. I'm content enough where I am, and I'll wait until something better comes along. I don't want to hear anyone accusing me of being afraid to take a chance. I mulled over this decision for a week before coming to this conclusion. If anything, accuse me of being too lazy to learn another skill for not even a couple hundred extra bucks a month. I'm not starving to death, I frankly don't need the money that badly. This does mean, however, that I can no longer complain about my job. I'm going to miss that.

2. Still reeling from the immense success and popularity of my first review for Core Weekly, my second review will be featured in next week's issue. I'll be tackling Goldfinger's "Disconnection Notice". Between you and me, I don't think it's going to go very well. Send all hate mail to

3. Speaking of Core Weekly, they just sent me my first paycheck today. Keep 'em coming! With the money they paid me to write a single review, I barely filled my car with gasoline. But check this, it was premium.

4. American Idol's Scott Savol looks just like Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. Like Pyle, Savol is fully capable of snapping at any second. He can sing like nobody's business, though. He's the only contestant I'm truly cheering on.

5. Tonight's episode of Mythbusters tested the theory of the "Brown note", a specific sound frequency that makes you lose control of your bowels. Didn't work quite the way the story says. Every one of my teachers at MMI were wrong. I paid $22,000 for those cobs to tell me that a 6-cycle hum would make you crap your pants. Had Mythbusters existed 3 years ago, I probably wouldn't be paying these student loans.

6. My hair continues to grow. I will get another dye job tomorrow evening.

7. Check out the newest addition to my living room:

Of course, now my apartment is haunted, but it really fills out the room nicely. It's pretty big. In case you're wondering, that's a Lichtenstein print in the upper-left corner, and a picture of my family in the bottom left. I try to keep my belongings as geometric and symmetric as possible.

8. This weekend, we're headed back home again for my Grandmother's birthday. February marks not only her birthday, but the birthday of my late Grandfather, as well as what would've been their 48th wedding anniversary. We're getting everyone together to have a good time with her, and try to cheer each other up in the process. I bought her a Patsy Cline CD.

9. I put up a link in the "listen!" section for The Arcade Fire. I don't want to talk about them, and I don't want you to talk about them. All I'm asking is that the next time you're looking to buy a CD, but don't really know what you want, please give their debut album, "Funeral" a try. That is all. Their official page is a complete mess right now, so if you want information on them, just search around when you have some free time.

10. I don't really have a 10th thing to talk about. It's just that a 10-item list seems much more complete and important than a dumbass 9-item list. Here, let me think of something else that I could tell you...I bought a new shirt a couple days ago. It's brown. Fits me perfectly and compliments my eyes. 15 bucks at Target.

Go to bed!

Not only can you not complain about your job anymore, but you cannot complain about money anymore since you chose a lesser paying job:) Speaking of which, don't forget to bring money this weekend. Also, if it makes you feel any better that 6-cycle hum seems to work with me so your money wasn't completly wasted!
My brown note is a 41-cycle hum, so I am the messiest bass player in the south land.
I'll never stop complaining about money. That's unpossible. Yes, it should be noted that if you were to talk to me on the phone, my voice projects a subsonic frequency that usually will tamper with your bowels. It's the damnest thing.

What's your bass-player nickname? Allow me to suggest "Chief Brownbottom". You could wear a head dress and everything.

Wait, that's completely offensive. Sorry.
I was thinking about going with "Thunderpants."
Woah, that's good on so many levels. You can use that name for any number of professions: Incontinent bass player, professional wrestler, exotic dancer, hot sauce spokesman... The list literally never ends.
And all taht without being offensive. Except for the constant pooping part.
I've kept quiet my opinions on the Arcade Fire so far, what makes you think I would stop now???

You DO look really nice in that shirt. RAR!
With all the things that my wife doesn't like, you may start to wonder what she DOES like., for one. She also has a new found respect for salads, and lifelong love affair with things that are round.
Where's my cookie?
Thunderpants made off with all of them.

It's a shame, too. They were warm and soft, and the chocolate chips were all melty.
Ryan, you don't like Constantine at all? Ben and I want him to be the next American Idol!
They were warm and soft, and the chocolate chips were all melty.And they still are, in a way.
Poop jokes. That's the only way this planet's ever going to unite as one.

Yo, Sher-bear. I DO like both of those so-called "rock-n-rollers", but it would be crazy to think they could win. They can both sing, but they can't be the next idol. I liked that they made it this far, though. It shows diversity in the judging and whatnot. I can't believe Ben likes him though. I figured he would remind him too much of the Creed guy or something.

But Scott is a true clash of image and talent. He has the best male voice on the show, but he's almost socially retarded. It'll be interesting to see what the public does with him.

I'm officially gay. What are you gunna do?

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