Friday, April 22

Cooler By The Lake.

A busy week is finally over. I have no current writing assignments, the house is spotless and I have no bills to pay. I basically have nothing to do over the next 9 days but get focused and prepared for the big 5-mile run next Saturday. (Yup, I'm really going through with it.)

Don't look so surprised, jackass. I finish what I start. In the last couple weeks, I've been increasing my outdoor running routine to at least 2 miles every few days. Sure, it's still not even half of what I need to do, but I'm getting there. It's going to rain all weekend, but I'll try to get outside as much as possible, working up my endurance and fending off pneumonia. I officially registered yesterday, so I'll be out 20 bucks if I decide to bail out at the last minute. I'll still be out 20 bucks even if I do run the race, but it's that illusion of accomplishing your goals that keep me from eating a shotgun on a daily basis. (I was just kidding, no interventions please.)

So far, I've been averaging about a 7 minute mile time, well within my goal of finishing in under an hour. This pace will certainly get worse as the race goes on, but I'm still confident that I'll at least be competitive with the goal I've set. In addition to my "1 hour" goal, I also have a few others come race day. They are:

1. Finish ahead of everyone over 800 lbs., or anyone who has lost over 800 lbs..
2. Do not be on the front page of the Capital Times on a stretcher.
3. No vomiting or expelling of any bodily fluids in public. (This is actually a good goal for everyday life, now that I think of it.)
4. No vomiting on someone over 800 lbs. on the front page of the Capital Times.

So, there you go. I'll keep you posted as my training reaches zero hour.

Today marks a somber occasion, because the infamous "eyeball" post is moving from the main page to the archives. It was the most popular CDP post ever, generating well over 100 hits in a single day. I have many sequels planned, such as "internal organs" and "what's in your refrigerator?" They are destined for failure.

By the way, keep sending those cartoon ideas to!

I've put Benjamin's script back up in the sidebar. I can't remember why it was taken down. It's been consistently in the top 25 on Helium Exchange for over a year now. It's like the "Dark Side of the Moon" of unpublished screenplays. My screenplay is also doing well, in that it hasn't been deleted.

Right now, the Missus is watching a movie on the Lifetime channel. Personally, any movie where Tori Spelling gets the crap beat out of her is good watching by me. In fact, there should be an entire network devoted to movies in which Tori Spelling gets the crap beat out of her. It will be called "The Lifetime Network".

It's 10pm on a friday, and I'm off to bed. But first, I present to you the only known photograph of the SUGAR PUFF DADDY to exist:

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What a brilliant marketing ploy. Making fun of America, hip-hop culture and one of our most popular moguls in one fell swoop. (Notice the posse surrounding him.) I will not rest until I'm holding onto a copy of that commercial and munching a bowl of Sugar Puffs.

Could we combine it into a Tori Spelling/Renee Zellwegger/Ashlee Simpson channel?
Why not? They're not doing anything else right now.

ahem... do a ctrl-f search for sugar puffs... fantastic!

on that website that is... there's a commercial!
Woah, that's an old-school Sugar Puffs commercial. Thanks for the heads-up!
I told you, she didn't get beat up! She was a co-ed call girl, and shot her "pimp" when he tried to take advantage of her! No one beat her up, she just got tired of being a high priced the rest of us eventually will!
That's why I didn't watch it. That pimp neva' hurt nobody. Why's he gotta get capped?
Because her pimp wouldn't let her quit and wanted her to break up with her boyfriend (Played by the oh-so-handsome Barry Watson). He said she could quit if she "did something for him", aka let him do her. He first threatened her with a gun, though. So she pretended she was gonna let him do it, but then she grabbed the gun and shot him twice. At first she lied about it to the police, but then she came clean and was found innocent on all charges. Now you don't have to watch the movie! You know the whole story! (Unless you want to see Tori Spelling in a bathing suit, which is pretty disturbing all on its own)
I'd rather see Tinker in a bathing suit. Beverly Hills 90210 ruined the 90's.

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