Saturday, April 30

I'm Going To Puke My Pants.

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OFFICIAL TIME - 45:58
OFFICIAL PLACE - 3713 out of about 13,500

That right there is a goal achieved! I'm happy, I'm proud of myself and I'm limping around the house like a loser. (I forgot the camera, so there's no pictures right now, but maybe some will pop up later.) If you want to double-check my work and look at some of the other results, check out the official page.

I got there 90 minutes early, plenty of time to get the Missus (along with my Mother & Grandmother) settled at Camp Randall. I took a shuttle bus to the starting line, and milled around and stretched for about an hour. (I spent most of this time in the State Captiol, because it was about 40 degrees this morning, and I was freezing.)

I eventually ran into Suzie, (the co-worker who had talked me into this mess), and we decided to start together at around the 8-minute pace starting line. She's a distance runner, and I knew there was no way I was keeping up with her, but I wanted to see how long I could pace with her anyways. Deep down I wasn't competing with anyone but myself, I just wanted to finish in under an hour. The gun went off, and we were on our way.

I held pace with Suzie for about 2 miles before I left her behind. I didn't do it on purpose, it just happened. I was feeling pretty good for the first couple miles, as the course was relatively flat and comfortable. I was breathing fine, and my legs were working well. I had no idea that I could run 2.5 miles without feeling any problems at all. Then the course started screwing with me.

A huge, uphill climb put a lot of people out of commission, and I probably passed 500 people on it, but at around mile 3 I started to suck wind through my mouth and feel a bit tired. The competitive person in me made it impossible to stop though, and I just held pace with people for a few seconds before eventually passing them. My legs started to get weak, though, and I started to get dizzy and winded. The distance between mile 3 and 4 was horrifying, and I started to stumble around like a drunk for a bit before I calmed myself down and got back on track. The distance between those 2 markers seemed endless.

In this time, Suzie managed to catch back up to me with 1 mile to go. Looking at the clock, I realized that I was at around 36 minutes, and I knew I was going to reach my goal. Suzie slipped by me in the last mile, eventually beating me by about a minute. Coming around the corner and into Camp Randall was amazing, and I couldn't believe that I could run 5 miles without stopping to walk or die. Let me make this very clear to you, I DON'T RUN. I haven't ran anything longer than a mile since High School. Only in the last several weeks have I gone out for a mile or so every few days. There's a good chance that I will not do this again, but I'll make that decision once my legs feel better.

I could talk about this longer, but I think you get the picture. Many thanks to those who gave me good advice, those who laughed at me and said I was a loon, and a very special thanks to my I-Pod Shuffle, which got me through the last 3 miles. Here was the random "3-Mile Mix", in case you were wondering:

Kick De' Bucket - Liberator
Pete Jackson Is Getting Married - Less Than Jake
Lifestyle of Rebellion - Against All Authority
Horror Business - The Misfits
Symptom Finger - The Faint
Daft Punk Is Playing At My House - LCD Soundsystem
Float On - Modest Mouse


So, there you go. I've done it. It's done. What do you think?

Oh, by the way, here's that cartoon I promised. It was made for me by Andrea, the around-5 year old daughter of Suzie. (Suzie does payroll, so that person is saying, "Where's my check?")

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Never underestimate the sheer brilliance of subtlety. It's way funnier than a big, overblown-

I just crapped my pants.

Comments:
I never thought that I would be wating in Camp Randall Stadium for you to finish a five mile run, but you have always kept me guessing. I was and am so proud of you. Oh, and you were right that is a really funny cartoon.
 
I wasn't kidding about that cartoon.

I never thought I'd be doing something like that either, but I guess I try to stay open-minded about some things. Trust me, I hurt this morning, and I'd kick myself in the face if I could lift my leg.

All in all, I'm really glad I did it, and even more glad that it's over.
 
Way to go, Ryan! I'm very proud of you! Sorry I couldn't be there!
 
Thanks, Sherry! I should have told you sooner, but I sort of thought you wouldn't be interested.

According to the Missus and my Mom, you couldn't see anything until I ran into the stadium anyways. Just imagine me drunk, limping and sweaty, and that's what I looked like.
 
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Me and Ryan's family did our own Crazylegs in an attempt to find a fricken' coffee shop in Madison! You'd think that with more restaurants per capita than any other city we wouldn't have had to look so hard!
 
The west side of town sucks, though. I swear, it's bizarro world over there.
 
Again, where we were is nowhere NEAR the West side of Madison.
 
Okay, let me rephrase that.

ANYWHERE that's not the East side of Madison feels like the opposite side of a mirror to me. I feel like I don't belong, and I desperately need to leave.

That's why I ran 5 miles, I was just trying to get back to my car before the space/time portal closed without me.
 
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