Wednesday, April 27

Our Girls Were Looking So Good.

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You said, "My life is like a bad movie."
I said, "That's true of all of us."
You said, "I've got to wake up so damn early."
I said, "Maybe the Director's turned on us."

Today marked my final day as acting receptionist at work. For the last six weeks I've put my mounds of paperwork on hold to cover for the normal receptionist, on a six week leave after giving birth to a young child (quite young, only six weeks from what I've been told). I can now finally get back to whatever the hell it is that I do at the office. I honestly cannot remember what I used to do, for the thousands of phone calls and hundreds of walk-ins have turned my short-term memory into Nestle's Quik.

This afternoon, a young woman no older than me came in. We exchanged witty-yet-intelligent banter with each other while she waited to talk to someone else. She looked at me a little crooked and said, "Do you watch The Office?" (I assumed that she meant the new American version and not the British version that's never on when I'm available. I mean, 10:40pm-11:10pm? What the hell is with the English not adapting to a more sensible scheduling grid?)

"Yes, I do." I said, as she stared uncomfortably long into my chin.

"This place really reminds me of that show!" She shot back, beaming an infectious smile that made me fire one back without even wanting to. She was right, though. Our office looks almost exactly like the set from the new mid-season TV series (that's almost certain to be cancelled after winning an Emmy). I wanted to explain to her that although I wished my job was more like a mockumentary, it was usually more painful and depressing. It seems ironic that I find joy in watching a show were people pretend to do my job.

Instead, I lied and told her that my job did remind me of "The Office" as well, and politely went back to my work. Five seconds later, I looked up to find her still staring at me. She was almost certainly waiting for me to do something wacky and unexpected, like the actors on the show.

So I punched her in the neck and told her to get the hell out. She didn't laugh, but I think she understood why it was funny, which is sometimes better than laughing.

Tomorrow I have not four, not six, but THREE articles in the newest issue of Core Weekly. They now owe me $6.00, which I will put towards an oil change. I also need to get out in the miserable weather and do some final preparing for the big race on Saturday. We'll talk again tomorrow or Friday, whichever comes first.

So long, Constantine. Nobody likes a phony.

Comments:
wow... i'll be in Madison on Saturday... although for a slipknot concert, not a race.
i was threatened by wannabe gangster outside of aaron's house last night. he's all "don't park in ma hood, nigga! GD! GD!"
good luck on the race.. maybe i'll stop over if i'm still around on sunday.
 
Yeah, there's no deeper ghetto than where Aaron lives. You're lucky you didn't get curb-kicked.

We've got to get him out of there before he converts and starts scratching up all his nice vinyl.
 
Oh man, if there's only one person that I don't actually know that needs to see every episode of the BBC's The Office, it's you. I like the NBC version, though, which means it will be canceled soon.
 
The part that Ryan left out is that he immediately came home and said he wanted a divorce. That's what he does whenever a remotely young/attractive female comes into his office...then he realizes that she probably won't be back, so he decides to reconcile with me. It becomes very tiresome after a while.
 
You threaten divorce on an hourly basis. You did it 3 times before I left for work today.

I've seen the original version of The Office, and I very much enjoyed it, although it's hard to understand what they're saying every now and then.

I'm glad that more shows like this are crossing the pond and teaching Americans that it doesn't take jokes and laugh tracks to be funny.

Save Arrested Development!
 
I'm going to burn my Tivo in protest if they cancel Arrested Development.
 
I will then rummage through your trash in a futile attempt to salvage your TiVo for my own.
 
Maybe it'd be easiest if I just gave you my Tivo in protest.
 
You guys are crazy, I don't live in a ghetto.
 
I'll accept your TiVo this time, but you owe me.

Aaron, you totally live in a ghetto. Your brother almost got capped! Nah, I'm just kidding. The nearest Wisconsin ghetto to you is probably Fondle Lack.
 

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