Monday, August 22

Raise Your Glasses.

Ben and Sherry's wedding went off perfectly. The weather was beautiful, nobody passed out, and most importantly, they were as happy as Christmas clams. Way to go, you two. Again.

Here then, is the day in pictures.

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Finally succumbing to the insistence of his wife and mother, Ben is forced to shave off his mutton chops. John, his brother, makes sure that everything is even.

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The beautiful cake looks as if it were fashioned out of a cloud. I'd like to be a food critic.

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Here we stand on the roof of Ben's family's boathouse, taking in the view and braving the heavy winds. There were about 130 people there, so throwing up was not an option. I looked at the ground and tried not to lock my knees up. I kept an eye on Ben's swaying, as it's my duty (as Best Man) to catch him. Should the groom be unable to fulfill his husbandly duties, he is removed, all the guys take one step to the left, and the wedding continues without him. This isn't a responsibility to scoff over.

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Here I am, escorting the Missus back down the aisle. I can only imagine what it's like to walk on lumpy grass with heels on. Well, maybe I already know, but that's not even close to what we're talking about right now.

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Here's a super-bright shot of the wedding party.

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Here's one of the happy couple.

Once we shook 130 hands, the reception was underway. The dinner went well, and ties became loosened. One of the coolest parts of the evening for me was meeting back up with an old friend. It was incredibly effortless to slip back into conversation with someone I hadn't seen in five years. I guess good friends are like that. Alcohol doesn't hurt, either. It was a good experience.

I tried to maintain conversations with as many people as possible, causing me to run all over the place, and more or less abandon the Missus. She had plenty of people to talk to, but I felt bad for deserting her as the hours got later. Unfortunately for me, things started to get fuzzy at around nine o'clock.

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Now, I remember a few things for sure. I remember dancing on the boathouse with some of Ben's relatives. I remember kissing a dog that had wandered onto the property. I remember telling each and every female friend of mine how good I thought they looked. (It was totally true, everyone was looking beautiful.) I clearly remember a conversation I had with a friend named Erin. One thing I certainly learned from her was that even though I hold little faith in myself and those around me, that doesn't make me right. In fact, if I did let a little of that in every once in a while, I wouldn't have to pretend to enjoy solitude. You can't get anything past that woman, and I'm truly grateful to be surrounded by such women that will kick me in the ass when I deserve it. You are the company you keep, and in that case, I'm on the road to perfection.

I also remember this.

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Then, well...

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And I think...

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And finally...

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I slept well.

The next morning, the Bride and Groom were fast approaching Sun Prairie, as the four of us were headed to our Third Annual Sweet Corn Festival!

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We ate corn until we could eat no more. I pet a cow. It was a good time.

Today, I had my phone interview with Kevin Barnes from Of Montreal. It was nerve-wracking, but I think I pulled it off. I've spent a long time transcribing the interview, and my deadline for the write-up is this Sunday. Also due on Sunday is my review of Menos El Oso, the new album by Minus the Bear. More on both of those later.

In conclusion, I wanted to make sure that I looked at all of the things that went right this weekend, instead of all the things that went wrong. Sadly, when it comes to most things, the bad things tend to stick out in my head more than the good things, so sometimes good experiences sound bad through my filter of sarcasm and jaded humor. Don't get me wrong, there have been things happening to me the last three days that should leave me with a bleeding ulcer and nightmares. That being said, they won't go away if I dwell on them. Good memories, however, will disappear unless they are shared.

Sometimes, that's not just necessary, it's flat-out responsible. I'm not responsible very often, but I'd like to think that I come through in the clutch.

During the wedding dinner, people kept telling me that it was customary for the Best Man to make a brief speech and toast the couple. I was mortified, but I was all prepared to pull something out of my ass until Ben told me that he didn't want one. Maybe he was bailing me out. Maybe he was just afraid I'd say something extremely unflattering about him. Whatever the case, I didn't have to stand up. Keeping that in mind, here's what I probably would have said.

I feel mostly responsible for setting up Ben and Sherry. It was my idea, after all. I knew they would be perfect for each other as soon as I saw them interact. True, they don't look perfect for each other. Sherry is a petite, articulate woman; whereas Ben is a huge, lumbering ape. Call it fate, but these two find a way to compromise every day.

I can tell that Ben loves Sherry, because of the way he looks at her. The way that he, at the very least, pretends to listen to what she has to say. The way that he never appears the least bit shaken or angry, even when she's being completely unreasonable and bitchy. He has the temper of a Koala bear, and will go to the ends of the earth to see to it that she's safe and happy.

I can tell that Sherry loves Ben by the way she always needs him around. She loves to drape him over her like a fur shawl, allowing herself to burrow in and quickly fall asleep. She puts up with his bumbling forgetfulness and backwards male logic, like all women do towards all men they love. She takes what he says to heart, and forgets nothing. She wouldn't be the same without him.

So, here's to you two. May the second year of marriage be just as exciting and fulfilling as the first. Never fight over money, give yourselves plenty of space when necessary, and don't fall asleep angry. The next time I let you stay at my house, bring wine.


Everyone looked beautiful, and the setting was beautiful. I got chlls reading your toast, they will love it.!
Nothing BUT wife pictures!
You do it, you DIE.
This is completely off topic, but I just saw Tony Little on a Geico commercial. Now, you can tone every muscle of your body, AND save tons of money on your car insurance! What CAN'T this man do!?

Congrats on getting married (again) to Sherry and Ben. Should have kept the beard.. or at least a mustache.
I really should be working in commercials. I knew he was funny over a decade ago, and the commercial itself is pretty darn funny.

Ben had some pretty good sideburns going, but he should have known he couldn't keep them. It won't take him long to grow them back, however. He's masculine like that.
Yes, but the sideburns are nowhere near the quiet dignity of John's chinstrap.
It's a prescription chinstrap, you know. It keeps his head from falling off.
What's up with the bears in the sweet corn festival pic, and why aren't you closer to them?

It's 3am, and I'm just getting home from the airport. Be sure to make fun of her sailor outfit!
If we don't get a chance to hang out, I want sailor outfit pictures.

Can sailors and Pirates coexist peacefully?
If they outlaw pirating, only the outlaws will be pirates. What?

I'm waiting for a commercial that combines the energetic talents of Tony Little with the cool on-camera comfort of Lee Iacocca (or Mocacocca as I like to call him).
Me and the Missus have been yelling at the TV for the last month, thanks to Mr. Iacocca ("Fo' shizzle, ike-a-zizzle"). It's the worst campaign ever, but Snoop always makes me laugh.
I don't know what you just said, but if you pair a streetwise black guy with an uptight rich white guy, comedy has to happen, it's genius. Oh well, different strokes for different folks I guess.

I always get the sense Snoop knows how terrible it is, and I bet he smiles real big when he deposits that check.
Snoop knows exactly what he's doing.

(Humming the theme to "The Odd couple.)

Thanks Ryan for your toast! You made me cry! I feel so fortunate for what I have right now: a wonderful loving husband, caring friends, all the wedding gifts, and free tuition! I'm so lucky for having everything I do! Before today, I felt like I've been getting kicked in the ass my whole life. But, now I know that good karma is a wonderful thing!
On a slightly differnt note, I'm so sorry I won't be seeing you guys this weekend (Architects), but the Rock Garden only has six servers on for this Saturday as it is, and we usually have about nine-ten. So, naturally, I absolutely have to work! Well, back to watching and obsessing over Lost!
What? YOu guys are on the LOST wagon too? Since when!?!

I'm still waiting for that "good" part of karma to come around to me...
Probably since Ben pirated all the episodes.

At least they're all caught up, though. Now we can talk to them aboot it.
Ben and I are completely done watching all of the first season. It took us less than a week to watch them all because we were so hooked!
You're welcome. Ben should buy himself a parrot.
No kidding. Couldn't wait a bloody week for the DVD's to come out???? "I love the show so much that I want to steal everything I can from it!!!!"
You're stealing food right out of Hurley's mouth.
You WANT Claire's baby to die!!!!
Yeah, thief. You're just like Sawyer.
You have a neat blog here. I have a site on 50th wedding anniversary gift ideas that you may be interested in linking to.

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