Thursday, November 3

Chink In The Armor.

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Okay, I'm not going to lie to you. I feel like crap today. My Boycott Unity piece was supposed to be here today, but last night I went to bed at quarter to 10 and slept straight through to 6:30. I think it had something to do with the entire plate of Alfredo Portabello Ravioli I washed down with a pint of Caramel Cone ice cream. It's going to be a long day.

Not only that, but I have a training seminar out of the office all day today. The next time I touch a computer will be at 5 tonight. In honor of SWEEPS MONTH, however, I want to post something every day of November, so here I am.

So, here's the deal. My next post will be LOST FRIDAY tomorrow (which will rule, by the way), and the BOYCOTT UNITY RETROSPECTIVE (equally amazing, if not better) will arrive this weekend.

Until then, the comments section is yours. What are you working on today? What are you having for lunch? What are you wearing? Have you ever killed anyone? Stuff like that. Get to know each other a little better, and I'll be back to entertain you in no time.

Here's something crazy... iTunes now sells episodes of Lost at $2 a pop, including all of Season 2 so far.
I'm going to eat Cheese Lasagna Florentine for lunch. I am working on not falling asleep at my desk. I am wearing a sweatshirt over my 3/4-sleeve shirt because I am cold.
Today I am working on a website and maybe writing some more of a program I've been working on. I'm having a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, because I am poor.
I am sitting here at work and wearing jeans I might add, on a Thursday. Usually Friday is jeans day, but IDGAS anymore. Who cares? Am I going to increase my output by wearing Dockers? Hell no, so what difference does it make? Actually I have been doing this quite often lately…trying to stir the pot I guess. Maybe it will get me fired…yeah right. I never have had much luck, so why would that change now? I will be happier tomorrow – I took the day off. But wait, how much happier will I be? I have a Dentist appointment a 7am, which isn’t all bad, because my hygienist is kind of cute. Sometimes I eat a whole box of Oreos before I go just to lengthen the experience. Then I get to cut my grass. Is it ever going to stop growing? C’mon and snow already! Ok, I didn’t mean that. I hate snow. Then I will put on my final application of fertilizer and hope the brats in the neighborhood stay off the lawn long enough for it to take hold. I usually end up with more fertilizer in my foyer than on my lawn. Ok then what? Oh yeah, have to fix the garage door. For the last six months, the sender unit has been broken and my garage door will not close by itself. So I have to open it, back the car out, then go in and close it manually. Now this is tricky, because you have to keep constant pressure on the button until it is completely closed. I have no problem with this and would be alright with doing this through the winter and saving the $50 it will cost for a new unit. However, it will be worth it just to not have to watch the other two females in my house turn this simple procedure into something similar to solving a Rubiks cube. You see, whenever we all go somewhere, I back the car out and leave it up to one of them to close the door. I then sit in my car and watch the door go up and down, in 2 foot increments, for the next ten minutes. So, I’ll fix the door. Time to relax now? Nope, still have studying to do. Here are some words of wisdom…never go back to school as a forty something adult. I am studying Humanities now. I thought this would be a fun class…it isn’t. I am a middle aged adult, held many jobs, paid my share of taxes, and learned many hard lessons. What the hell do I care how humanity has evolved since the Dark Ages? I’ve seen enough! Just tell me how I can stop it from evolving any further. You want someone to blame for today’s society? Blame those bastards from the High Renaissance era! I went to the Wisconsin/Purdue football game a couple of weeks ago with my son. My wife shopped on State Street during the game and we all enjoyed the day. Then I get back to my car and find a parking ticket. Thirty-five dollars for God sake! I guess I wouldn’t mind if Madison put it towards cleaning up the garbage along their streets. Is there a dirtier city in country? I apparently parked between two “No Parking Signs”. I did see the sign when I parked, but like every other piece of signage in that damn city, it was bent at such an angle, I could not tell which way it was indicating, so I look for its mate. Nope, nothing to the south. The next sign to the north is a “Bus Stop” sign. Is this the other sign they are referring to? I don’t think so, these usually are set in pairs, right? The next sign to the north is a “No Parking On Tuesday” sign. Well, if the other “No Parking Between Signs” post is still further north, what the hell do they need this one for? Isn’t this a bit redundant. I never did find the other sign…it could have been in Sun Prairie for all I know. I guess the more confusing they can make it, the more money they rake in. Ok, I am sick of writing. I am sure this will deter you from asking people to write whatever they want in the future. If anyone has a problem with my rambling, blame it on the early mesopotamians. Tinman
I started on a new project today engineering and drawing the curtainwall (big windows) for a new science building at a college in Washington. It'll take about five weeks or so. It's going to be a huge hassle because all architects are idiots. (if you are reading this and you are an architect, offense is still intended). I'm going to have a frozen microwavable pizza for lunch because I'm doing very well for myself.
Ironically, one of the first things my second husband said to me is that he had "One Chink in his Armor." One my ass he had several chinks. His idea of a chink was "Having bad credit." Never mind what he really meant was "I have no fu**ing credit and I need you to pull my ass out of the hole." After being the idiot and doing just that guess what? I was no longer needed. I don't give a crap anymore..maybe I I don't. I feel just like the tinman what the hell has happened! I'm having goldfish crackers and Dr. Pepper for lunch. You figure out why.
Frozen microwavable pizza? You are living the high life, sir. I envy you.
Yeah I know, it's not even the store brand either.
Okay, maybe I shouldn't complain. I just read a story about a 57 year old guy that used the restroom at Home Depot and someone had smeared glue on the toilet seat so he got stuck to it.He called for help for 15 minutes but the employees ignored him. When the ambulance attendants finally were called they wheeled him out with the seat still attached to his ass and the poor guy fainted. Wow.
That's hilarious. Sucks for him though.
Well, I woke up this morning and peed about 5-10 times in a half-an-hour. Each time was very painful and hurty. I then went to Copps to get some cranberry juice because I know exactly what to do when I have a UTI. I hate those three letters in that sequence. You know that commercial on TV about the cranberry pills, and the lady describes a UTI as "OWWW!@". Yup, it's about ten times worse than that.

The cranberry juice didn't work as I thought it would. After seeing blood in my urine, I had Ben drive me the Emergency Room, where I peed in a cup and was prodded by a male doctor. I'm at home now because I feel like I may not make it anywhere without peeing my pants. Needless to say, I called in sick to the Rock Garden for the first time in a year and two months.

So, now I'm sitting here like a bump on a log, and I'm a little depressed because I feel like I'm not offering anything to society, and I have been alone in my apartment for almost seven hours now. Sounds like fun huh?
It could be worse, you could have your ass stuck to a toilet seat!
At least one of three things must be true:
1.) That dude has poor vision.
2.) That dude's not real concerned about hygiene.
3.) Those pranksters did a killer job of spreading the glue so it would be invisible.
So, this is what happens when I open up the forum. I need to do this more often; every comment was worth reading.

I can't respond to all of you individually, so I'll hit the high points:

TINMAN: It's good to have you back again; it's been awhile. I came upon a lot of your comments when I was going through the 2004 stuff, and I was wondering if you still visited here or not. I'll add nothing to your rant, because it can stand alone. It was funny, but too true to be really funny.

PASTE: That project sounds interesting and pretty darn cool. You have to make a post of this or something. When I'm elected president, engineers and designers like you will be paid 10 times what you already make, because it's a skill I will never obtain, and I respect it.

ANON: Your problem is you keep obtaining loser husbands. You should stop doing that.

A 57 year old man is not old enough to have such a problem with a toilet seat prank. Like Paste said, this guy pretty much had it coming because he's not as quick as the rest of us.

SHERRY: Sorry about yet another UTI. No offense, but I don't think I'll be able to look you in the eye when we hang out this weekend.

It felt like Christmas when I finally got out of training today (business writing), and saw all these nice comments on the CDP. Thanks, it feels good that we can all get together and vent every now and then.

I'm working on LOST FRIDAY as we speak. Spoilers abound!
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Your UTI sounds ouchy, Sherry. Our Gabe had something similar to that a few months ago, but it turns out he was uncomfortable because his weiner wouldn't go back in it's weiner-pouch. Isn't that funny???

Psssht..frozen pizza? I ate frozen lasagna florentine, people! I am SO living the high life.
Hmm, I hope this doesn't post twice.

Madison is NOT dirty, in fact it's quite clean. The dirtiest city I've ever been in was Washington D.C. I think, though Milwaukee takes a close second. Madison gets pretty scruffy after a football game though.

Sherry, your UTI sounds ouchy! Out Gabey-cat had a few months ago what we thought was a UTI, but turns out his weiner was inflamed and wouldn't go back in it's little pouch. Isn't that funny???

and of course it did have to post twice. Stupid blogger.
Sherry, you've been sitting there by yourself being bored for seven hours and you haven't read my stupid stories? I have a website too, you know.

P.S. Good luck with the UTI thing. Sucks for you.

P.P.S. When do you kids want your Q and Not U DVD. You should see it. It looks nice.
Yeah, Gabe was a sorry-looking cat for a couple days. We fixed him up good, though.

Madison is dirty compared to the rest of Wisconsin, but you need to remember that it's one of the few actual cities in Wisconsin. As far as big cities go, Madison is downright spotless.

I can say with complete certainty that Washington DC is the filthiest city I've ever been to, this country or otherwise. I'm not ragging on DC or anything, I just think their sanitation crew has their heads up their collective asses. Like most of that commonwealth.

Good luck with the UTI, however. I'm really sorry about that.
How did you figure out what was wrong with Gabe? Did you or the vet figure it out?
We figured it out. Vets are for suckers.
Our cats don't go to the vet, because they are losers and won't go in their travel carriers.
Celia and Ryan- Oh my god! How did you...? Maybe I don't want to know how you fixed Gabe.
It took a lot of towels, I'll tell you that for sure.

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