And with that, using pictures of eyeballs has become instantly obsolete in the Blogosphere. I want to thank all those who sent or posed for "ball" shots, especially all the cats (who I apparently know more of than men). I should have just called this post "The Girls and Cats of the CDP" and gotten it over with. Thank you for killing a genre with me. After resizing and pouring over these photos for the last 2 days, I can say with relative honesty that I'll never be able to look any of you in the eye again. I'm absolutely horrified with all of you.

By the way, I'll send a dollar to anyone who can identify all the photos, scout's honor (The Missus isn't eligible). Duke it out in the comments section.

A cool breeze is blowing through the open window of my rumpus room, and I'm getting ready to watch the rest of the NCAA Championship game. I sure hated Smarch, but April is shaping up to be something else entirely. We'll be throwing a party real soon here at the CDP Headquarters, and everyone who submitted an eye picture (cats too) is invited. When the last bit of filthy snow finally disappears and you can go for a sunlit walk at 7pm, you just know you'll be happy until late November. You are at the furthest possible point from next winter, so enjoy it before it's gone.

Move to Madison and have a drink with me.

Me and Aaron played drunk Scrabble last night ("Screwdriver Scrabble", as I like to call it). I played "WEEDLED" on my first turn, scoring me a whopping 78 points. We later found out that "WEEDLED" isn't a real word. I still won, because he didn't think to challenge it. I then realized that bluffing is a huge part of Scrabble. He won the second game, and the decisive third game was called on a count of Aaron not being able to spell anymore.



Me, the Missus, Benjamin and Sherry spent the night at Mr. Aaron Miller's place last night, and we didn't really get to sleep until 5am. I have a well-deserved headache, but we all had a good, responsible time. If the worst thing you do when you're drunk is play a fake Scrabble word, you know you're a pretty good kid.



Me and the Missus left Aaron's place in Appleton at around 2pm today, and headed 2 hours straight back to Madison for a trip to the zoo. It was a beautiful day, and a walk in the zoo cured what ailed me. It would have been better had there not been 10,000 people there with their babies and strollers, but I'll never have a private zoo, so I won't complain...or will I?



I'm currently listening to my brand new IPod Shuffle, which I bought for the purpose of listening to when I run outside. It's a wonderful little machine, it works like a charm and is totally worth the money. I also bought a nice pair of running shoes in preparation for the upcoming 5-mile trek. In tune, I realized that it's much easier to purchase accessories than to actually to what you set out to do. Nonetheless, I will be running at least 1 mile every day this week.



The infamous "eyeball" post is locked and loaded, and will be up next. Boycott Unity is toast on Friday, and my book review will be read by 50,000 people on Thursday. Gas in Madison is $2.24 with no signs of slowing down. The Pope died, which is a shame for Catholics, but Mitch Hedberg also died, which is a shame for everyone. That reminds me, I wanted to tell you a joke:

What does Snoop Dogg use to do his laundry?

Blea-otch!

Wow, that's even funnier when it's written down. Thanks Ben.

A Short Story By: Gabriel.

Snqux?

ruyf fdjkl ajkhae d;kd rw f gir ;s;kq qij. ewqoip w weof jkfc vmsia;;.!
rywijdk akeo=ejj8(kf. Fwit? qop!

Wreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwr4.

qpoi qoi f g hffds ghjgf rwe dbvd dghjd. asfdsa serg. safdg wie

19 poreiw, ***1: !yad sloof lirpa yppah

I had never seen a mitten quite like his again.

l;kjasd eee e iiq qoppm q[[ shabbadoo.

The End.

(Gabriel is a syndicated columnist, who's work can been seen in The Village Voice, Vanity Fair, and Barely Legal.)