Saturday, May 7

We Got Movie Sign!

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TONIGHT - Bill Rebane Film Festival at the Orpheum Theatre in Madison. Featuring Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy from MST3K!

TOMORROW - Mother's Day festivities back up nort'.

Full reviews to follow. See you on Monday.

Thursday, May 5

My Time Off. (Two & Two.)

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this is an audio post - click to play

Tuesday, May 3

Let's Pretend We Don't Exist.

(INSERT CLEVER PHOTO HERE.)

Things are getting back into order here at the c.d.p. headquarters. I'm feeling much better after the race, although I messed up my right arch. I don't think this had anything to do with the run, but I'm limping around like Dr. House and it's not getting any better. I should be published once again in the Thursday issue of Core Weekly (an album review), and we're heading back home this weekend for some Mother's Day festivities.

I saw a commercial advertising diamond earrings for Mother's Day. I can't afford diamond anything right now (although I've purchased diamond earrings for the Missus in the past), and I don't think I want to hang around with anyone who purchases something like this for their Mother. If you buy this for your Mom, what do you buy your wife? Buying diamond earrings for your Mother will do nothing but piss off your wife, unless you buy your wife something even more extravagant (like a car or monkey butler). This isn't just with women, either. If I found out that the Missus bought her Dad a Rolex watch, I'd be curious as to where she was hiding that money. Mother's day gifts are supposed to be sentimental and appreciative, something that shows how grateful you are to be raised by someone so special and unique.

A Target gift card will do the trick. I love my Mom, but this $400 a month student loan isn't going to pay itself.

Here's something I've always wanted to share with my readers from out-of-state. The Governor of Wisconsin is Jim Doyle. Here's a recent photo:

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Here's a recent photo of Gargamel, enemy of Smurfs everywhere:

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I rest my case.

I was wearing my emo glasses yesterday, and they were crooked as usual. I was again spending several minutes trying to straighten them out, when I realized that my last pair of glasses did the same thing. They even were crooked in the same place.

My blood instantly ran cold. I had made the grim discovery that one of my ears is set higher than the other.

Damn it! I'm supposed to me symmetrical! These things are supposed to happen to other people, not me! From what I gather, everyone's asymmetrical in some shape or form, but I'm going to be self-conscious about this until the day I go under the knife. After running a few tests, it seems as if my left ear is a little higher on my head than the right one, causing my glasses to incline from right to left. The good news? My ever-growing hair is completely covering my ears so nobody will notice (like anyone who's not a cyborg would be able to notice an ear that's a fraction of an inch lower than it's counterpart). I always wondered why I could never get my sideburns just right.

Man, my hair is getting long. It's getting in my eyes, there's large clumps of it in the shower, and when I shake my head it's always just a little behind the motion. It's curling up in the back, Don Majkowski-style, and every day I look more and more like a filthy hippie. I've noticed more cops following me home from work (hey pigs, hippies don't have jobs, stop bothering me!), and kids on the street keep asking me if I like fish for some reason (lamest joke ever).


COMING SOON:
Celebrity Fan Mail!