Sweeps Month 2005 is officially over. So, how did we do this year?


Well, that should pretty much explain it all. In page views and hits, we increased traffic by at least half across the boards. By the end of the day today, the CDP will have amassed over 10,000 hits for the month of November. Pretty good, considering I had about 25 a month when I started in February of 2004. On average, I'm getting anywhere from 100-500 hits a day.

So, where did they all come from? Well, as you would assume, about 2,000 of them came from the standard crew of regulars. Several thousand came on the heels of the Lost Friday posts, and another few thousand just decided to pop in and never left. Good for them, they deserve me.

As far as constant totals are concerned, the CDP has about 17,000 total hits and almost 54,000 page views. About 10% of our total traffic arrived this month alone. You can't see me, but I'm making the metal sign right now. Not just the regular one, either. I'm doing the one with both hands.

I'll be surprised if I ever get this much traffic in a single month again. Certainly, December will dwindle, even though it's when I do (what I consider) my most interesting stuff. Before the year is over, expect to see many year-end lists and countdowns, the CDP year in review and a handful of Lost Fridays before 2005 is 'oot. If you want to be reminded of how mind-blowing December 2004 was, get all caught up right here.

All right, enough of this ego-stroking. I've got the long-awaited best comments of 2005 on the way, along with a brand new Lost Friday, leading into the last month of 2005. Now you know. Let's move on, so I can tell you a story.

Last night, me and the Missus were forcing ourselves to bed earlier than usual. After five days of vacation, our sleep schedules were thrown off balance. We desperately needed to get to bed at a reasonable hour in order to function properly at work the next day.

We tossed and turned until about midnight, when we drifted off to a troubled slumber. At about 2:30am, I opened my eyes quickly, jarred awake by the Missus tossing around feverishly. After about 10 seconds of said tossing, she got out of bed and headed for the door.

I thought that she was going to get up to go to the bathroom. However, she got about an equal distance between the bed and the door, spun herself around and got right back into bed. I asked her if she was okay, she said "yes," and that was that. We went back to sleep and spoke no more of the matter.

Fast forward to this evening. The Missus is heading off to bed early, and I'm saying goodnight to her. This was the dialogue that followed:

ME: "Hey, do you remember what you did last night?"

MISSUS: "Hmmm?"

ME: "You got up at 2:30, headed for the door, spun around and got right back into bed."

MISSUS: "Oh yeah, that's right. I thought you were a spider."

ME: "Excuse me?"

MISSUS: "Yeah, I looked over at you, and you had a fang-thing coming out of your head. I got up to leave, but then I woke up more and saw that you were normal."

ME: (Head explodes.)

You have to love this woman. She thought that I turned into some sort of half man-half spider, a sleeping one at that, and her only inclination is to leave the premises without trying to get to the bottom of things. It's good to know that if I ever become a possessed arachnid-person, she's got my back. When your nightmares are so bad that you come up with an evacuation plan, you really need to consider talking to someone about it.

So, there you have it. If you have anything to say about Sweeps Month, the Missus' sleeping habits or the upcoming year-end lists, sound off in the comments section. Thanks a lot for spending quality time here, I really appreciate it. I'll do what I can to keep you here, even if that means eventually killing you someday.

You know, there comes a time in every man's life where he gets raging drunk and ruins his wife's birthday party.

Exactly one year ago today, that man was me. In the spirit of full disclosure and outright laziness to create a new post today, the CDP Wayback Machine leads you back to the last time I lost control of myself. Hooray for one year of responsibility! Feels pretty good.

Monday, November 29 - 2004: "The Last Wobbler."

The triumphant Sweeps Month finale is tomorrow, followed by the best comments of 2005 and LOST FRIDAY. December will bring us all the year-end stuff you'd expect to find here. You'll love it, I promise.

Happy birthday, Missus.



Happy birthday to the raddest bass player in Winneconne history.



Happy birthday to the lump in my hotel room bed.



Happy birthday to the only person who makes me laugh every day.



Happy birthday to the woman who plays darts with random Asian men at local bars.


(I just really wanted to put this picture in because her hair looks good. I swear she has a different hairstyle in every photograph.)

Happy birthday to my other half.



Happy birthday to my wife.



She's going to be quite angry for putting all these pictures of her up, so allow me to suck up for a minute.

If you live to be 122, I still won't have enough time to get sick of you. You're that neat.

You're brilliant and beautiful. You understand everything about me, which is amazing and terrifying at the same time. How you do it is beyond my realm of comprehension.

You didn't teach me to love and cherish the world. Instead, you chose to mock it right along with me. You let go of my hand only when you stop to point and laugh at someone who deserves it.

You're cruel and sinister. Sarcastic and razor-sharp. Your standards are so high, nobody could ever meet them. Everyone lets you down, and nobody is worth trusting. You're just like me.

You keep my socks looking their whitest. You punch me in your sleep. You clap when I breakdance in the living room. You make more money than me. You dye my hair and remind me to make a shopping list.

You're... good.

Happy birthday.


(The SWEEPS MONTH finale is on the way, along with the best comments of 2005. Sit tight.)

Season 2 - Episode 8 - "Collision."

Yet another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss.

This post is arriving on the heels of an after-Thanksgiving gluttony spree here at the CDP. I ate a lot, didn't get much sleep and am still sick with a bad cold. I know you're concerned.

Nevertheless, it's going to be a little condensed this week, simply because this week didn't offer very many answers and mythology. It did, however, set the stage for two of the biggest episodes yet. More on that later. First off, the skinny on "Collision," courtesy of our friends at Wikipedia:

Realizing that Shannon was shot by Ana-Lucia, Sayid pulls his gun on her. Eko stops him after a quick and muddy fight. Ana-Lucia tells Eko to tie up Sayid, but he refuses. She then forces others at gun point to do so, claiming that she knows what she's doing.



A flashback shows that Ana was a police officer in the LAPD who got shot by a suspect and was hit by four bullets in her vest. After recovering, she is assigned an office job, but demands to get back into a patrol car. Her chief, which turns out to be also her mother, reluctantly does so.



Soon, when called to a stressful domestic shouting match, Ana loses her calm and pulls her gun. Her partner orders her to holster it, calling her by first name as she does not respond to "Officer Cortez".

In the meantime, Eko carries Sawyer away to find the other survivors. Michael decides to give water to Sayid, daring Ana to shoot him. They talk about Walt and Ana. The rest of the group are also angry at Ana-Lucia, asking about "her plan". In exchange for the release of Sayid, she demands supplies from the hatch so that she can live "alone" in the jungle, being convinced that Sayid will not stop until he can get revenge on her.



We see some more of Ana-Lucia's past. When the officers of her mother caught the suspect who shot her, Jason McCormick, she declined to identify him, despite the evidence of fingerprints and his confession. He had to be released.



While playing golf, Jack and Kate encounter Eko carrying Sawyer, and they bring him into the hatch, where he is treated. Locke questions what happened, but Jack reminds him that the timer is going off. Jack tries to give Sawyer a pill for the infection, but he won't swallow it. When Jack instructs Kate to hold Sawyer's head up, she holds him gently and whispers into his ear until he takes the pill.



Jack is now furious after just being told that Shannon has been killed, and Sayid is held prisoner by gun-point. He demands Eko to tell him where they are, but Eko refuses because it will only make Jack even angrier. Michael suddenly bursts into the hatch and tells Jack what happened. Jack grabs two rifles, gives one to Michael and starts to make his way out of the hatch. Suddenly Eko screams "Stop!" and asks Jack what he's looking for. "Peace? Revenge? or Justice?"



Jack tells him he wants all his people back safely. Then Eko says "Ana-Lucia made a mistake." It's obvious from Jack's surprise reaction that he knows her. Eko takes Jack out to where Sayid and Ana-Lucia are in the jungle, but only Jack, and without any guns.

Sayid, still tied to the tree, tells Ana that only 40 days ago, he tortured a man in a similar situation, as well as many other men while being in the Republican Guard of Iraq. She asks him if he has kids, to which he answers no. She then starts telling him her story, and that she was formerly a cop.



A flashback shows Ana-Lucia, wearing regular clothing, spotting Jason McCormick in a bar. Outside in the parking lot, she stops him, saying "Hey Jason ... I was pregnant!" She shoots him down with three bullets, plus three more from close distance into the body on the ground.



After Sayid asks what happened to him, she lies, saying "Nothing, they've never found him." She then releases Sayid, throws her weapons to him, and dares him to take revenge: "Go ahead, pick it up, I deserve it." He declines, stating that she is already dead.

Eventually, the rest of the tail-section survivors and Jin make it back to the camp, where Bernard and Rose as well as Jin and Sun are finally reunited.

The episode ends with Sayid carrying Shannon's body back to camp, and Ana and Jack staring at each other.

Fantastic. I will say, however, that this synopsis had to be heavily edited by me due to episodic errors and paltry grammar. I'll continue to use their recaps though, as I'm incredibly lazy. Make with the numbers!

1. This first point comes to us from Entertainment Weekly:



"Can there be any doubt that Ana Lucia is Jack's double, and Eko Locke's? They seemed to hammer that home pretty hard. I speak primarily of the final shot, but also of the eerie first meeting between Locke and Eko. Locke's just sitting there, innocently doing his crossword and..."



"Hey, what about that crossword, anyway? The clue he's working is ''Enkidu's friend.'' That's a reference to The Epic of Gilgamesh, an ancient Sumerian text that also happens to be one of the oldest pieces of extant world literature. Gilgamesh was an Achilles-like champion who fights alongside Enkidu, his fellow warrior and quasi-doppelgänger. Does this mean Locke is Gilgamesh to Ecko's Enkidu, or vice-versa?"



That's a good point. For a few weeks now, it's clear that Ana and Eko are the tail-section version of Jack and Locke. The "man of science, man of faith" edge is really getting hammered home, and detailing the power struggle that's taking place. Now that everyone's under the same roof now, this will only intensify.

2. I picked this snippet up from a Lost message board. It comes to us from "FormerLostFan:"

If they don't kill off Ana Lucia soon, I'm done with this show. She is so annoying and her storyline is not compelling. Plus, she is a man.

Well put. Is she contractually obligated to scowl on every frame? I understand that this episode was supposed to make people more sympathetic towards her, but the "shoot first, ask questions later" aspect is quite unappealing.

3. When people ask the producers of the show where the love interests lie, they tell you "It'll be where you least expect it." I think they might be right after this episode. Sayid and Ana look as if they will take refuge in each other based on their tortured past. Also, check out this still from next week's episode and tell me that Jack and Kate aren't kissing:



Hmmm. Plot points to be revealed next Wednesday, I suppose.

4. Ahh, the reunions. Not only did Kate and Sawyer join back up, we also saw the reunions of Michael and Vincent:



Jin and Sun:



Bernard and Rose:



Along with the bizarre and uncomfortable reunion of Jack and Ana:



With everyone together and functioning as a solid unit, questions will start to get answered. This is what they will be focusing on for at least the next two episodes.

5. Of course, there will be only ONE more new episode in 2005. After the November 30 airing of "What Kate Did," Lost goes on vacation for FIVE DAMN WEEKS, returning on January 11 with the heavily awaited Episode 10. This means that there's going to be a lot of interesting cliffhanger hatch information next week. You really shouldn't miss it. Also, it will give you a chance to re-watch a lot of the Season Two episodes and catch up on anything you may have missed. LOST FRIDAY will still be here every week with new stuff, so keep stopping in.



6. Let's talk about next week's episode. "What Kate Did" will focus on...well.

Apart from that, we're going to get some serious hatch and island information, the possible return of Desmond and an excrutiating wait until after the holidays. Apart from the emotional things that will take place next week (people hooking up, etc.) they are going to find the MISSING PIECES OF THE ORIENTATION TAPE. Here's a still:



Michael will have an encounter with the hatch computer, and Kate's full backstory will be revealed. It should be creepy as hell and loaded with theory information to set you for the rest of the year.



What more could you want? The standing theory is that episode 10 will take place on the island before the crash of Flight 815, but that's pretty far off on the horizon. Episode 9 will be retribution for the shoegazing that Lost as been doing for three straight weeks. I can't wait.

Start the theories and discussion in the comments section. If you missed any of my previous Lost Fridays, check them out here:

SEASON TWO - EPISODE 7 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 6 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - RERUN EDITION: VOLUME 2
SEASON TWO - RERUN EDITION
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 5 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 4 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 3 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 1 REVIEW
SEASON TWO PREVIEW

(PS- If you want to check out the amazing and spoiler-filled CTV trailer for Episode 9, The Tail Section has it up and running. If you do watch it, you won't be able to function until Wednesday. You've been warned.)

On this day before Thanksgiving, I'm busy compiling the best comments of 2005. There are hundreds, they are all funny, and it's a huge hassle. This, coupled with actual work, has left me far too occupied for a real post today.

However, in the spirit of thanks and giving, I wanted to cast out the nets and see what everyone is thankful for this year. I want to see if we can get the list to 50 by the end of the day.

Post once, post 50 times, I don't care. Tell everyone at the CDP what you're thankful for, and we can all share and be merry in the comments section. Here, I'll start us off:

1. John Madden Football 92-98 for the Sega Genesis.

Let's go. I'll be back before you know it with the best comments of 2005. Is Lost on tonight? I can never remember.

Me and the Missus are not only prepared for the upcoming winter months, we are also prepared for Thanksgiving. I started by dying my hair orange. The official title is "Cinnamon Brown," but there's a whole lotta' cinnamon, and not much brown.

Just to diffuse the bomb before it goes off, this was as close to the Missus' appearance as I could manage. Yahoo Avatars is a fickle beast, and I did my best to capture the look of someone who looks nothing like anyone else. That's the price you pay when you appreciate originality. If it looks like her or not is up to the Missus herself, but I must say that the Avatar is pretty hot. My avatar looks almost exactly like me, minus the look of a man who hasn't slept or seen the sun in weeks.

Three days of work this week, then five straight days of vacation. It couldn't have come at a better time, really. We've both been run through the proverbial ringer at our collective places of employment, and a few days of rest, relaxation and tofurkey is just what we need to recharge.

This weekend, I spent some time with friends in the far northern reaches of the state. I had a good time. Apart from that, I've been relatively worthless; opting to watch way too much football and allow my page get completely overrun with BLAM! It's sad, really.

As I said, I'm working three days this week. When I'm not making meth in my cubicle or socializing with family and acquaintances, I'll be busy compiling the best comments of 2005 (click here for the best comments of 2004). It's a rough job, but someone has to do it, and there's too much outsourcing in this country as is. The CDP never takes a vacation, except for when I do. I have a ton of stuff that is still on the way for the second half of SWEEPS MONTH, and I hope you enjoy it.

Speaking of which, I've been very happy with the traffic this month, and I wish there was something I could do to thank each and every eight of you (zing!). Last year, I told people that I would send them all a dollar, but I didn't feel like breaking a five (zong!). But seriously folks, thanks for hanging out here. If it weren't for you, I would have gotten an actual writing job years ago (zoing!).

So, what's everyone's plans for Thanksgiving? Where are you going? What are you doing? Lay it on me, and start the conversation in the comments section. Personally, me and the Missus are heading back up nort' to mingle with the respective families, suffer inoperable amounts of road rage and wear fruity sweaters. I can't wait.

Season 2 - Episode 7 - "The Other 48 Days."



Another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss.

This week, ABC treated us to an "extended episode" of Lost, adding a whopping 4 minutes to the finished product. Instead of using this precious network time to better fill in the struggle of the tail-section survivors in the 7 weeks following the crash, we were treated to an extra-long Invasion commercial. Thanks ABC, you know just how to spend your money. After all, why waste time on a massive hit drama that spawned a dozen knock-offs, when you can spend time on the knock-off itself? This must be why I'm not a producer.

So, in honor of getting screwed over this week, the CDP is offering Lost fans a special "extended" version of LOST FRIDAY. This week's post is three times as long as the previous weeks, including interview snippets with Lost producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse (duplicated without permission; come and get me). Don't believe me? Look how far into this post we are without any new information! Man, I should be working for ABC.

As always, let's all inhale deeply and recap the week that was, courtesy of our friends at Wikipedia:



After the tail section of the plane crashes into the water off the beach, the survivors swim ashore. A little boy with a teddy bear points out his sister floating in the water. A large man (Mr. Eko, played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) drags her out and Ana Lucia performs CPR on her. The little girl asks about her mother, who is supposed to meet her in Los Angeles; Ana Lucia promises the girl will see her.



A man runs out of the woods asking for help, saying there's someone alive in the jungle. The man, later identified as Goodwin, brings Ana to Bernard, who is still in his seat, up in a tree. Goodwin says they have to climb up to rescue him, but Ana disagrees. Ana coaxes him to grab the tree branch, anticipating that the seat will fall. Just as Bernard grabs the tree branch, the seat crashes to the ground. Back on the beach, Goodwin, who claims to be in the Peace Corps, builds a signal fire. Bernard asks Eko if he found any African-Americans among the bodies, as his wife Rose is African-American and he can't find her. Eko tells him no, but he will pray for her and for their rescue. That night, three of the adults are taken and Eko kills two of the Others with a rock when they try to take him. From that night on, he refuses to speak.



Nathan suggests staying on the beach, and the group does so. On the fifth day, a man dies from a leg injury and is buried. On the twelth day, the Others take nine more, including the two children, and Ana kills another one of their opponents. Unlike the previous Others, who possessed nothing but the clothes on their backs, this one is carrying an antique U.S. army knife and a list of the nine to be taken, along with their descriptions.

The survivors opt to head into the jungle. They make a camp near a source of fresh water and fruit trees. Ana digs a pit-cage. She knocks Nathan unconscious and throws him into the pit, having become suspicious of his unexplained absences and how nobody remembered seeing him on the plane. She begins starving him, demanding to know the location of the children, but another member of the group is feeding him when she's not looking. Ana tells Goodwin she intends to start torturing Nathan the next day. That night, Goodwin frees Nathan, warning him of Ana's plan. When Nathan turns to leave, Goodwin grabs him and breaks his neck.



The survivors, convinced the Others have found them, move again and find the latest hatch with the Dharma Initiative logo. In a box they find a glass eye, a Bible and a radio. Goodwin and Ana go to high ground to try to get a signal. While there, Ana reveals that she knows Goodwin is one of the Others, because on the first day, he ran out of the jungle with his clothes completely dry, ten minutes after they landed in the ocean. Goodwin admits he killed Nathan, saying that if Ana had cut off Nathan's finger and he still kept his story about being on Flight 815, she would have been suspicious and assumed someone else was the infliltrator. He confirms that the children are still alive, also saying that the people who were taken were taken because they were "good people." The two try stabbing each other with the army knife; they roll down a hill, and Ana impales him with a sharp stick.



Ana returns to the survivors but doesn't tell them she killed Goodwin. On the forty-first day, Bernard picks up Boone on the radio, but Ana dismisses it as another trick by the Others. "This is our life," she tells them. She goes off by herself to cry, and Eko, speaking for the first time since the crash, tells her everything will be all right. She asks him why it took him forty days to speak; he asks her why it took her forty days to cry.

Soon after, Cindy and Libby find Jin washed up on the shore. The events shown in previous episodes are replayed from the tail section survivors' point of view. In the final seconds, it is confirmed that Ana shot Shannon. In previews for next week's episode, it is also confirmed that Shannon has died.

Okay, let's back up and take that all in for a bit. Make with the numbers!



1. The beginning of this episode was fantastic. Watching the tail of Oceanic 815 come screaming into frame and exploding into the ocean was pretty damn cool. I just wanted to get that out of the way before we went further.



2. A lot of people online were wondering why Bernard was buckled into a seat. After all, Bernard was out of his seat when the plane began to crash. The answer for that is he took a seat as the plane started to go down. We saw Charlie do the same thing. Obviously, the corpse in the tree with Bernard wasn't Rose, so it should be implied that he took the nearest open seat when things got crazy. By the way, I think that picture up there is awesome, because he really looks terrified. That's good acting, right there.



3. Watching Libby snap that dude's leg into place was great. Although "The Other 48 Days" really did nothing in terms of answering many questions, it was exciting to see everything from the beginning again. Most of us have seen the crash and post-crash footage about a hundred times, so seeing it from a different light was interesting, familiar and original at the same time.

4. Let's talk about Mr. Eko. Rumors are flying around online as to what this guy is all about. Here are just a couple of the more decent (or horrible) theories:

a) Eko wasn't on the plane. He was one of the ministers in the Nigerian drug plane, and he's been on the island ever since, either on his own or as an Other.

b) Eko was on the plane, but has a connection to people in the Nigerian drug plane.

c) Eko is actually Walt. He was given a growth hormone that caused rapid aging (yeah, a lot of people actually believe this).



Looks like he was on the plane to me, but I've been wrong before.

Eko is instantly one of my favorite characters, for a number of reasons. First off, he's a black version of Locke. Clearly a "man of faith," it won't be surprising to find out that Mister Eko was Minister Eko back on the mainland. They way they stressed that he would pray for Rose and the survivors, and the way they hung onto the reaction shot of locating that bible in the hatch, it all seems like it's being slathered pretty thick who he really is.



Another reason I like Eko is because he bashed in the heads of two Others with a damn rock. Anyone who carries around a whoop-ass stick with scripture carved into it is not to be messed with in my book. I can see why the early rumors were that Sam Jackson was going to play his role.

If you must know, we're going to find out a lot more about Eko in the next 3 weeks. He and Locke are going to make fast friends. Speaking of our hatchlings, did you see the previews for next week's episode? Jack was straight chillin' in the brightly-lit hatch, sporting a clean shirt and everything. They have it pretty good over there now; it's like an apartment where you don't have to pay rent.



5. Moving on with the episode, these Others are crafty. In the first season, Ethan infiltrated the hatchlings, only to be capped by Charlie at the worst possible time. This time, Goodwin showed up as soon as the tail section hit the water, and started taking inventory of who to swipe.

By the way, the cutoffs, bare feet and soaking wet thing is creepy, because it's becoming clear that some of these Others are coming out from the ocean. Speaking of which, Walt is now sporting the same "kidnapped by the others" look, just like those little kids that got swiped as well.

Goodwin claims that everyone who got kidnapped is okay, and they were taken because they were good people. This may explain why Claire was the only one taken from the hatchlings camp, and they just left Charlie to die. It seems like they take who's good and kill everyone else. This points towards a utopian society, or at least the shambles of one.



And the list, my God, the list! Descriptions of the castaways? What they looked like? Really? Obviously, the Others are part of a big reason why the island is so messed up. The Hanso Foundation and Dharma Initiative are up to something big, and the Others need fresh meat that's pure of heart.

6. Hearing Boone over the radio was creepy as hell. You knew it was coming, but it's still depressing to think that he was dead just hours later.



7. The Arrow hatch. For most of us nerds in the know, we knew this was the second discovered hatch months ago. The standing theory is that there are 6 Dharma Initiative hatches on the island, all designed to monitor and experiment on the 6 programs funded by the Hanso Foundation. The six hatches seem to be named after the 6 star systems in the constellation Apollo (remember the candy bar?), so if this is true, here are all six hatch names:

Swan
Arrow
Crow
Goblet
Serpent Handler
Hunter

We'll find out more about that really soon. There's a lot of hatch drama set to unfold in the next 3-4 weeks.



8. Shannon, Shannon, Shannon. If you remember, I claimed last week that I was convinced that Ana Lucia did NOT kill Shannon. Rumors were flying abound, and I stood my ground. Now, thanks to what we saw last night, along with what we saw for next week and what we hear in this upcoming interview, it seems that Ana really did kill Shannon.

For your reading pleasure, here's an extremely recent (and funny) interview with Lost producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. It's lengthy, so I highlighted the really important stuff in bold. Enjoy!

First off, I have a bone to pick with you, Damon. Last July, I asked you if a female character was getting killed this season on Lost, and you said — and I quote: "I think it would be fairly silly for us to kill a woman — there are only three or four of them on the show. And they're all really hot." So, I guess my question is, how can I ever trust you again?

Damon Lindelof: I never said we weren't going to kill a woman. I said it would be silly. And you know, Carlton and I are pretty silly guys. You should see the hat that he's wearing right now.

Carlton Cuse: That's all I'm wearing.

Damon: And also a sock, but that's another story.

Did it bug you that Maggie Grace's people leaked that tidbit about her possibly joining the cast of X-Men 3 over the summer? It was a pretty major tip-off that she might be leaving the show.

Carlton: There's no incentive for them to preserve the creative sanctity of Lost. You have an agency full of people whose job it is to get Maggie Grace other work. And how could we begrudge her that? We can't prevent her from going out and earning a livelihood, you know? There's the perception that Maggie had to turn down X-Men 3 because of Lost.

Carlton: I don't think that was the circumstance. We would have been accommodating had she been offered that job.

Damon: Carlton and I would have bent over backwards to see if there was a way to make it work.

Why was Shannon marked for death?

Damon: It was by no means a result of Maggie's abilities as an actress, which, we felt were gaining ground every time we saw her on the screen. But Shannon is a 22- or 23-year-old character, and the flashback stories and limitations in terms of her life experience… The younger the character is on the show, the more limited you are in terms of stories you can tell. So, before we started running Shannon into the ground and doing the same stories over and over again, it felt like it was a very natural time to kill [her] off. And the idea that was appealing to us, and certainly to Maggie, was that we would finally show Shannon in this different light. Make her incredibly sympathetic and then she would die.

Will Shannon be back, like, say, in one of Jack's flashbacks?

Carlton: It's always possible she could pop up in someone's backstory. But she is definitely dead. When a character dies on the island, they stay dead.

Are you concerned that Ana-Lucia is beyond redemption? I can't tell you how many e-mails I got from AA readers asking, "When is that bitch going to die?!"

Carlton: At the beginning of last season, people didn't like Josh Holloway's character either. And by the end of the season, he was one of the most-liked characters on the show. It'll be really interesting to see, as we tell more about Ana-Lucia, whether that changes the audience's perception of her. We think it will.

Damon: In the same moment that we decided Shannon would die, [we also decided that] Ana-Lucia would be responsible for that death. It would be the first time one castaway was responsible for killing another, and it would give so much inherent conflict and trauma [heading to] the merge. We're walking a very tenuous tightrope with her, but we feel that over the course of the next two episodes the audience will hopefully get a better understanding for that character and what she's been through.

Can you confirm that Shannon was, in fact, shot? Fans have been speculating that she looked like she had a stab wound.

Carlton: She was shot.

Damon: People are getting a little too…

They're reaching a little too much?

Carlton: They totally are. And she did not have a Dharma Initiative stamp on her.

Let's talk about Malcolm David Kelley and Walt. Why was his role reduced this season? Were you concerned about him aging faster than the time line on the show?

Carlton: That's a legitimate issue. We've only gone 50 days on the island, and he's a kid in puberty. But Walt's disappearance and, ultimately, Michael's efforts to reunite with him were part of a grander plan. There are also financial considerations. Since Walt wasn't going to be around for a lot of episodes, we had to make an arrangement to have his role be a more reduced role.

Whether you use him once or twice a year or every week, the aging thing will still be an issue, no? Might you recast?

Damon: To answer that question is sort of to reveal what the plan is for Walt, and there is a plan. I always feel like recasting is the nuclear option. You do not do it unless it is absolutely, 100 percent necessary. But obviously, we have a story that we want to tell about Walt and about Michael and Walt.

Last week Shannon and Sayid gave us our first big Lost sex scene…

Carlton: It was the second big sex scene. Boone and Shannon had sex together [last season]. So, if you have sex on the show, you're pretty much going to end up dead.

So, who's having sex next?

Carlton: (Laughs) As we move into the middle run of episodes, we're definitely emphasizing the Jack-Kate-Sawyer romantic triangle. The level of sexual tension between those three characters is definitely being ramped up.

How will Ana-Lucia figure into it?

Damon: As the respective leaders of their respective units, Ana-Lucia and Jack have a great deal in common with each other, and that's definitely something we're going to be exploring. But [the fact that] Ana-Lucia inadvertently murdered one of the members of the tribe doesn't exactly [lend itself] to candlelight dinners and walks on the beach. She is a woman; she will have romantic entanglements. But I think the one that will begin to emerge over the season will be the one that you least expect.

What about Charlie and Claire?

Carlton: We're definitely going to be paying attention to their relationship, but it's not going to turn in ways the audience expects.

Will we get any clarification about the numbers this season?

Damon: Carlton might want to punch me for actually going on record and saying this, but I think that that question will never, ever be answered. I couldn't possibly imagine [how we would answer that question]. We will see more ramifications of the numbers and more usage of the numbers, but it boggles my mind when people ask me, "What do the numbers mean?"

Will we find out why Ethan abducted Claire?

Damon: Yes.

Carlton: You'll learn more about it this season.

Will Claire get some of her memory back?

Damon: The loss of her memory happened so long ago that it requires a sort of deft touch in order to reintroduce the concept. Once we start assuming that everybody is intimately familiar with everything that has ever happened on the island, I think the show risks becoming slightly confused. But all of that stuff is in play. It's just a matter of when and how we reactivate it.

Are you still planning to reveal why the plane crashed this season?

Carlton: Yes.

Are you saving that little doozy for the finale?

Carlton: We're saving it until later. We consider that on the ground of fairly major revelations.

Damon: We don't want to stick that one in the middle of March.

ABC billed last week's episode as the one "everyone will be talking about." What'll be the next one "everyone will be talking about"?

Carlton: Ironically, it's the next episode [airing tonight]. We think for us, it's even more of a water-cooler episode than the death episode. This is really a very special episode in that it's kind of a concept episode. It deviates from the form and style of our other episodes.

On Nov. 30 we'll finally learn what Kate's precrash crime was that landed her in so much hot water. Any other big flashback revelations this season?

Damon: In the next string of episodes, one of the really compelling backstory elements is what happened to Jack's marriage. We think Julie Bowen is amazing and she and Matthew Fox are so great in scenes together, and I think the audience is really curious as to what went wrong there.

Carlton: And you should pay attention to Mr. Eko's stick.

Seriously?

Carlton: Yeah.

Damon: Keep your eyes on Mr. Eko's stick.

Carlton: That stick is an important ongoing clue.

Will we learn more about Monster this season?

Carlton: Definitely.

Damon: Absolutely.

Has Disney approached you about doing a Lost feature film?

Carlton: No.

And if they did, what would your response be?

Damon: I would punch them as hard as I could. We couldn't even begin to wrap our brains around how we would produce a feature film. Obviously, the production team in Hawaii is amazing, but the amount of time [it would require] to do a TV show and a feature on top of each other… I think it's safe to say it would be impossible.

Last question: Will there be another death this season?

Carlton: (Laughs) You're very good, but we can't say.

Well, there you go. That's a lot to chew on, and it wrapped up more loose ends than this week's episode. Speaking of which, let's look ahead to the future, shall we?

Episode 8 - "Collision."
(Flashback: Ana Lucia)



In this Ana Lucia-centric episode, we'll look into her past. If you check out my previous posts, I'm convinced that she's a cop, perhaps on the plane to assist the Marshall with Kate. Also, tempers, conflict and ass-kicking will ensue once everyone meets up with each other. If you saw the previews, Sayid is pretty close to taking Ana Lucia out, as you would assume.

Also, we see Kate tending to Sawyer and the relationship getting a bit more serious.



Looking at the press release, I noticed that Dr. Marvin Candle will be in this episode. I know that in the future, the hatchlings will find the missing pieces of the orientation tape, but not this week. My guess is that they are just watching the tape again with the tailies.

If anything, this will be an episode to get us all up to speed with everyone, put all of our eggs in one basket and start anew. This is a good thing, because business is about to get even more out of control.

Episode 9 - "What Kate Did."
(Flashback: Kate)



"Kate's crime is revealed in an episode in which she watches over a very ill Sawyer. Meanwhile, the tailies bury one of their own; Mr. Eko has a hatch-related surprise for Locke; and Michael has a surprise encounter with the hatch computer."

Hmmm, this sounds very interesting and creepy. That's all I'll say for now. Expect to see the return of Rousseau and Desmond, along with the missing pieces of the orientation tape in either this episode or episode 10.

Episode 10 is the big mystery. All we know for sure is that it takes place on the island before the crash. Depending on what theories you believe, this could be any number of people. Personally, I think it's going to be Desmond. He will show up in episode 9 to cure Sawyer with his wonder injections, we'll learn a HUGE plot point about the hatch, and that will set up perfectly into episode 10. We'll meet Kelvin and see what happened to Desmond to have him end up here. Keep an eye out for that.



Get it? "Eye?" Hey, screw you! I've got nothing to work with, here.

Whew, I'm beat. Another LOST FRIDAY in the books, and an extended one at that. Please sound off in the comments section, and let your incorrect opinions and half-baked theories be heard. If you're interested in LOST FRIDAY, check out all of my previous posts on the matter:

SEASON TWO - EPISODE 6 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - RERUN EDITION: VOLUME 2
SEASON TWO - RERUN EDITION
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 5 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 4 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 3 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 1 REVIEW
SEASON TWO PREVIEW

This is Steven Avery.

Steven Avery lives in Manitowoc, Wisconsin. He runs an auto salvage yard there, which has been the family business for quite some time. Steven is a regular guy with regular problems.

For example, in 1980 he was convicted of burglary. Steven didn't learn his lesson though, and got convicted again for stealing stuff in 1981. That time, it was a felony.

In 1982, Steven dipped a cat in gasoline and threw it into a bonfire to die. Some people in the vicinity took offense to that, and he was charged with animal cruelty. Surely, this would be the turning point in his life.

Nope. In 1985, he was convicted of sexual assault and sentenced to 32 years in jail. He pleaded his innocence, but the jury wouldn't have any of it. They threw his ass in the clink, and he sat there for 18 years.

In 2003, DNA evidence came along and actually proved that Steven Avery didn't commit the rape that he was serving time for. After 18 years behind bars, Steven was released from jail concerning a crime that he didn't commit.

Wow. Not cool. I mean, this guy wasn't a very good dude, but to go to jail for 18 years for no reason? That can't be good on your psyche. When a guy like him gets out of jail, he's either going to be really good or really bad. I feel for the guy.

Until Halloween 2005. That was the day that 25 year old Teresa Halbach showed up to Avery's Salvage Yard to take some freelance photographs for Auto Trader, a local paper that showcases used cars for sale. Teresa showed up and never left.

People started to wonder where she went, obviously. The media couldn't help but make the connection that she went missing on the property of a guy that goes to jail a lot. Avery was cooperative, however. He even went on the local news to plead his case.

"I don't know what's going on," Avery said. "I think someone's trying to set me up again."

Well, that doesn't sound suspicious at all.

Me and the Missus argued about this for days, while police searched Avery's property for evidence. I was following the "innocent until proven guilty" assumption, and I also felt that no man in the world was dumb enough to kill someone after an 18 year false imprisonment. I had to believe that; people aren't that crazy, are they? Avery had to know that the media would swarm all over his salvage yard, and unless he did a damn good job of hiding the evidence, he would be in a heap of trouble.

The Missus was following the "he's a serial killer that got really messed up after being in jail for 18 years for no reason" assumption. Her theory was that even though he may not have actually committed the sexual assault in 1985, he had something to do with it. People don't just get snatched from their houses for a crime that had absolutely nothing to do with them. He's obviously not a good guy, he was punished for a reason, and the jail time only allowed him to marinate in his creepy juices. Besides, when you to jail for no reason, you may feel like you have a free crime to commit.

So, on November 5, they found Teresa Halbach's car in Avery's salvage yard, stripped of its license plates and obscured by trees. The blood of Halbach AND Avery were found in the ride. That's strike one.

On November 9, the police found that Avery was in possession of a .22 caliber semi-automatic rifle and a .50 caliber powder muzzleloader. Being a felon, you can't own guns. Avery was arrested on these charges while they continued to search his property. That's strike two.

A few days later, investigators found the mother lode. Scattered throughout the property were bone fragments, teeth and hair matching that of Halbach. Halbach's blood was also located all over the property, along with the keys to her vehicle hidden in Avery's bedroom. Investigators also found handcuffs and leg irons in Avery's possession.

The forensic anthropologist states, "almost every bone in the body is present and has been recovered from the scene." She goes on to say, "bone fragments are the obvious result of mutilation of a corpse." Investigators believe that Avery burned and tried to conceal and mutilate the corpse over the course of five days following her disappearance.

That's strike three, Steven. You're out.

Back on the homefront, the Missus is raising her arms in triumph over yet another victorious argument. I am flabbergasted at the sheer amount of brashness and utter stupidity of Steven Avery. I can't wait for the confession, because I simply need to understand what he was thinking, if anything.

If you want a quick theory, I believe that he wasn't equipped to adjust himself outside of prison and wanted, needed to go back. Therefore, what better way to do so than by committing a crime that you already served time for? Does the state share any of the blame for messing this guy up, or was he plenty messed up before all of this happened?

I wonder if the state will subtract 18 years off of his life-without-parole sentence.

This has been the talk of Wisconsin for the last few weeks, and everyone has a say in the matter. What's your say?

NEXT: LOST FRIDAY.

(Polysics. Still the greatest band in the world, in case you forgot.)

1. Hey, what are you watching on TV tonight?

6:00 - 7:00 - The Simpsons - FOX (Local)
7:00 - 8:00 - SNL In The 80's - NBC (TiVo'ed)
8:00 - 9:00 - House - FOX
9:00 - 9:30 - My Name Is Earl - NBC (TiVo'ed)
9:30 - 10:00 - The Office - NBC (TiVo'ed)

2. Hey, what are you listening to right now?

Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
Supersystem - Always Never Again
Less Than Jake - Hello Rockview
James Brown - Greatest Hits
Wolf Parade - Apologies To The Queen Mary
My Morning Jacket - Z

3. Hey, did ants eat a woman's eye out in India?

Yup, CLICK HERE for the most nauseating story you will hear all week.

4. Hey, what's this I hear about China getting rid of their Engrish?

Check it out. They want to clean up their image by the Olympics. It's a damn shame.

5. Hey, what's new in the CDP Network?

Well, The Girl From Mars breaks down the logic behind medicating a cat, and I Think This Is My Exit invites us to a martini party. Sweet.

6. Hey, how's Sweeps Month coming along?

Pretty good. Our hits have certainly improved, thanks mostly to Lost Fridays. I've been linked on several LOST locations, including the OFFICIAL ABC LOST MESSAGE BOARD. That tends to rake in a bit of traffic, and for that I'm thankful.

Apart from that, I still have all the big year-end things planned for the next 2.5 weeks (stick around, they rule). Then I shall go on a long vacation, and watch the December slump slowly destroy the CDP.

7. Hey, is that it for today?

Yup. Sound off in the comments section. What are you up to today?

We're all probably several weeks away from starting our Christmas shopping this year, but I'm fairly certain that I'm already sick of the mall.

This happens to me every year, without fail. I've never been a huge fan of the mall; not when I was a kid, not even when I was a teenager. To me, the mall is like High School with cash registers. Everyone is better looking than you, everyone has more money than you, everyone is more in tune to what's popular at the moment, and everyone's in your way.

This weekend, me and the Missus went to the mall in Madison so she could pick up some new clothes. I was in the mood for a bit of a buying frenzy myself, as I've had an awful week and spending hard-earned money always seems to cheer me up.

When we go shopping together, I can circumnavigate an entire store in about 15 seconds. It doesn't take me long to see that they have nothing that I want. This is due to the fact that women shop and men buy. This doesn't sit too well with the Missus, who now has to entertain me while I peer over her shoulder, bored and ready to go home. The remedy for this was simple; we split up and meet at a neutral location at a set time. I'm not allowed to bother her until this set time, no exceptions. This gives her plenty of time to look for important things that she needs, and it gives me plenty of time to drink an Orange Julius and fall asleep on a bench.

We gave each other a couple hours, entered the mall and went our separate ways. You should know that it's not wise to have me go shopping alone. I always end up buying things that I don't need, purely out of boredom. It's the equivalent of grocery shopping on an empty stomach. You get home, and you start to question why you purchased a metric ton of Gummi Worms and an entire bag of Carnation Instant Breakfast. Had you eaten before you shopped, you would have bought only what you needed, and if you hadn't gone to the mall in a bad mood, you might still have money in your checking account once you got home. It's a bad recipe.

So, the Missus ran off to get her clothes, and I stood in the main corridor of the bustling mall, already wanting to kill anyone within a foot of me. Allow me to break down a few specific things that put me in thy murderous mood:



1. The Christmas Season Starts On November 1.

The very second that the last shopper leaves the mall on Halloween night, they lock the doors and transform the place into Christmas Towne. Every song over the PA becomes a carol, Santa poses for pictures in front of non-denominational slogans (Happy Holidays! Merry Winter!), and fake snow covers the isles, although we won't get snow until late December. The Mall Christmas Season is almost 60 days long now, which is almost the length of an actual season. Weather I like it or not, the mall has violently thrust me into a holiday buying frenzy. Apparently, Thanksgiving isn't much of a spending holiday, so malls are in the habit of pretending that it doesn't exist.

2. When I Walk Into The Arcade, I'm The Only Person Who Speaks English.

Now, I know for a fact that Caucasians like video games. I'm absolutely sure of it. However, every single time I step into a local arcade, I'm instantly surrounded by men of all ethnicities but mine, sporting shaved heads, impossibly baggy clothing and 8 year old girlfriends. Even though I know for a fact that I won't play anything at the arcade, I always seem to find myself in one every time I go to the mall.

I consider it a carry-over from my childhood. Something always tells me that I'll find something fun to do in there, even though I never, EVER do. It always ends with me playing a game of Tekken with some Hmong kid that destroys me in a 4 second barrage of button mashing. Well, that was a blast. I specifically don't carry change on me anymore just so I don't feel tempted to enter arcades at the age of 23. Especially after I found out that I enjoy Dance Dance Revolution.

3. XXXL or XXXXL?

Women complain because there's nothing at the mall that's big enough for them. Most men complain that there's nothing at the mall small enough for them. Who gets the shorter end of the stick? Men do. In a mall that has 89% of their apparel geared towards women, they can always find at least something they'll be happy with. Me, I've seen 3 stores that carry small shirts for men. If you're not a 7 foot 9 male that weighs 1400 pounds, you won't find a shirt that fits unless you ask someone to dig around in the back for you.

When it comes to men's shirts, I'm a size small. On a bet, go looking for a shirt in a size small that's not the gayest thing you've ever seen. I dare you. People wonder why I wear nothing but black t-shirts and goofy sweaters. It's all I can find! Believe me, if I could put on 80 pounds, I would. Until then, please put some small-sized shirts on the rack. Small-chested American boys thank you.

The only places I can get small shirts that don't outright suck are Target, Express and the Gap, and even that's a stretch. Sure, there are other stores that carry small shirts for men, but I'd prefer not to wear a shirt that advertises the store's logo in GIANT LETTERS ON THE FRONT OF MY SHIRT. If I wanted to be a billboard, I would have sold space on my forehead to Golden Palace.com long ago. Keep your logos off of my clothes, and I'll stop messing up your carefully folded garments.

4. Kiosks Ahoy!

Don't buy stuff from kiosks. They are of poor quality and they are being sold by pushy foreigners who are on the run from the law. They stand in your way when you try to walk into actual stores, and they spray you with horrid fragrances and splort body lotion into your palms. 'Nuff said.

Kiosks are much like those little shops that you see in airports. Like Jerry Seinfeld says, "Do these people have any idea what the prices are everywhere else in the world? Tuna sandwich? Eighteen dollars. Tuna is very rare here." I once saw a board game for sale at a kiosk that was twice as expensive as the same game in the store right across from it. That's stunningly arrogant, and just bad business.

5. Don't Buy Books Or Music From Barnes & Noble.

Barnes & Noble is a cool place, seriously. They have a huge selection of books, a decent CD collection that rivals most chain stores, and a Starbucks in the lobby. The atmosphere makes you feel smarter and more sophisticated almost instantly. Problem is, you shouldn't ever buy anything there.

First off, the books are overpriced. Chances are, if you can find a book at Barnes & Noble, you can find it at Waldenbooks for cheaper. Remember Waldenbooks? That's the smaller book store at the other end of the mall that's going out of business because of Barnes & Noble. Give them a try someday, their employees are very friendly and lonely. They could use the company.

The music is INSANELY overpriced. They're one of the few stores on the planet that still sells albums for $19.99. I was looking at the new Fischerspooner album there, and it was $17.99 for 10 tracks. No, thank you. If shopping for albums at chain stores is in your wheelhouse, you'd be much better suited looking at Best Buy. There's always a Best Buy within 5 minutes of a Barnes & Noble, the prices are cheaper and they have a better selection. Besides, you should be supporting your local independent record store anyways.

Starbucks? Are you serious? What year is this? When at the mall, go to Gloria Jeans. They're the coffee shoppe on the other side of the mall that's going out of business because of Starbucks. They have a better selection, they are cheaper and the store smells really good. Besides, caffeine is no longer hip. Meth is making a huge comeback, so hop on that train while you still can.

6. Wing Stores Suck.

JC Penney, Macys, Bloomingdales, Boston Store, Younkers, Sears. For all the floor space they gobble up, you'd think they'd have something there you'd want. I could count up all the things I've purchased at wing stores on a one-fingered guy's hand. Too much variety is a bad thing, because then you miss out on the specialty stuff that sets you apart from other stores. When you lose variety, you become stale and people go elsewhere. If you think I'm full of it, there's plenty of unemployed Sam Goody salespeople who would like to have a word with you.

7. The Food Court Is The Most Depressing Place On Earth.

My God. If you've ever felt suicidal, but needed that one last push to justify your actions, look no further than your local food court. There, you will find society in various stages of mental, physical and social decay. Allow me to flashback you to a line from my last rant about the mall:

I don't like the crowds of kids that congregate at the Food Court and never buy anything. I'm just trying to get my Julius Smoothie and hit the road, and some kid who's barely visible through his massive sea of giant, baggy clothes is in my way and not moving. Hey kid, 1997 called and they want their raver pants back.

Whenever I find myself watching people at the food court, I get quite philosophical. I start to wonder if I'll be sitting in this same uncomfortable chair when I'm 80, sucking on the same hot chocolate and becoming part of the sorry mob I see before me. I begin to wonder if this is all there is to life. Showing up at the mall, spending money on things that don't matter and listening to Christmas carols in early November. It's usually at this time that the Missus shows up with a bag of clothes and a big smile, and things start to make sense again.



We can't leave fast enough, but you can bet we'll be there again next weekend. Merry Holidays.

Season 2 - Episode 6 - "Abandoned."

Another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss.

First off, due to reader concerns, I'm going to address the spoiler problem by breaking this post into two parts. The first part will be a recap of Episode 6: "Abandoned," and part two will be a preview of the next few episodes, especially Episode 7: "The Other 48 Days." That way, if you don't want to be spoiled, you can stop reading when the first part comes to an end. Deal? Deal.

PART ONE: EPISODE 6 RECAP - "ABANDONED."

As always, here's a quick recap of the episode in question, just to get everyone on the same page:

On the far side of the island, Eko, Jin and Michael re-unite with Ana-Lucia, Sawyer, Bernard, Libby and Cindy. The eight leave for the camp made by the survivors of the midsection of the plane. Along the way, Ana-Lucia demands that Michael be silent; when he demands an explanation, she tells them that The Others took three of the tail section survivors on their first night on the island and returned two weeks later to take nine more.



Sayid builds a tent for Shannon in which the two make love. When Sayid goes to get some water, Walt suddenly appears in the tent and says "they are coming, they are close." When Shannon screams, Sayid, Charlie and Claire (carrying Aaron) respond but they find no sign of the intruder. Shannon is angry that Sayid thinks she was dreaming; Charlie scolds Claire for waking Aaron and taking him towards something that might have been dangerous.

Locke helps Claire with Aaron, teaching her to swaddle him to comfort him when he cries. Claire tells Locke that everyone seems to know more about parenting than she. She also mentions how Charlie has been carrying around a statue of the Virgin Mary (which, as Locke knows but she doesn't, is full of heroin). Later, Locke and Charlie play backgammon with Locke demonstrating amazing luck. Locke apologizes if he overstepped any lines when assisting Claire. Charlie complains that Claire has been acting irresponsibly; Locke retorts "that's an interesting comment, coming from a heroin addict". Charlie corrects him, saying he's a "recovering addict".

As the survivors from the tail section of the plane trek across the island, Jin and Michael squabble over who's going to help Sawyer. Sawyer pushes them away, takes a few steps and then collapses; when Michael goes to assist him, Sawyer says if their positions were reversed, he'd leave Michael behind, which Michael brushes off. The survivors make a stretcher and carry Sawyer. After an arduous battle to carry him up a hill, they look around and notice that Cindy has vanished. Immediately after, the seven hear whispering coming from all around them.



In flashbacks, Shannon is shown teaching ballet. She receives a call that her father has been in an accident and goes to the hospital. There, she finds that he has died in a car crash; Jack is seen walking past briefly. Shannon's father is the "Adam Rutherford" struck by the SUV driven by Jack's eventual wife in "Man of Science, Man of Faith". At the funeral, Boone appears to console her. Later, when she wins a dance internship in New York, she finds she can't go because her father left her no money. She pleads with her stepmother, Sabrina, who rebuffs her, suggesting her dream of becoming a dancer is just a passing whim, and that Shannon needs to make her own way. Boone attempts to help, but is unsuccessful in convincing his mother. When Shannon asks if she can stay in New York with him, he tells her that he is leaving the city to take a job working for his mother. He offers her money, but she angrily rejects it, telling him that if he doesn't believe she can make it on her own, she doesn't want his help.

Shannon brings Vincent some of Walt's clothes, then follows as the dog searches for his master. Vincent leads Shannon to Boone's makeshift grave, where she rests for a moment. Sayid finds her and asks what she's doing. She tells him she's going to find Walt and gets up to continue following Vincent; Sayid comes along, protesting. Shannon yells at Sayid, telling him that he (like Boone) doesn't believe in her and is going to abandon her. Sayid tells her that he loves her and will never leave her. The pair embrace, then suddenly hear whispering; the pair look up and see Walt. He is apparently telling them to be quiet, as they are near danger. Shannon dashes after Walt and Sayid follows her until he trips. There is a gunshot and, as Shannon staggers back into view, she is shown bleeding from the torso. The camera pans back to reveal Ana-Lucia with a smoking gun, having seemingly mistaken Shannon for one of the Others and shot her. It is not known at this point whether Shannon lives or dies.



When this episode concluded, I was amazed. The internet chatter was pretty loud that Shannon would be killed, but it was never stated that we would get to see the killer right away. I couldn't believe that Lost would actually give us an open and shut case like-

Crap. We've been totally and completely duped. Ana Lucia clearly didn't kill Shannon.

First off, we don't even know if Shannon is dead (she probably is, I'm just sayin' is all). Secondly, if we don't see Ana Lucia pull the trigger, then we shouldn't assume anything. You should know this by now.

You want my theory? Sure you do, because it's right. Here goes nothing:

Rousseau is still on a killing spree that started when she waxed her entire "sick" crew. She fears this infection, and has been spying on the Lostaways for quite a while now. The "sickness" has something to do with hearing the voices all around you in the jungle. At the very least, Sayid and Shannon both have it, along with the tail-section crew that heard the whispers as well. This is why Sayid was able to see Walt along with Shannon.



So, Rousseau knows that Shannon is infected and (supposedly) kills her. THIS is when Ana Lucia and the tailies show up and fire a shot at Rousseau. When we resume this story in episode 8 (after episode 7 next week, which is entirely flashback), we'll see Rousseau with a gunshot wound, mere feet from the carnage. Mark my words. Hey, this was sort of a spoiler. Whoops.

So, that's that. I'm glad we cleared all of that up. As verified here last week, Ana is (or was) a cop. This explains her know-how with a gun, her complete meglomania and aura that makes me want to punch her in the neck. In episode 7 and 8, we'll find out a little more about Ana's past. Crap, that was another spoiler, wasn't it?

So, the even bigger argument online is "good" Walt versus "evil" Walt. Is backwards-talking mirage Walt good or bad?



Well, consider the following:

PRO: Walt warned Shannon about the button.
CON: Walt got Shannon killed.

PRO: Walt told Shannon and Sayid to be quiet because the others were near.
CON: Again, Walt pretty much lured Shannon to her death.

Take from that what you will, but I'll stay on the fence for now. Keep in mind that a lot of people think that Vincent is somehow involved in all of this. You'll notice that you never see Walt without Vincent close by. Just something to think about as the weeks roll on.

PART TWO: EPISODE 7 PREVIEW - "THE OTHER 48 DAYS."

Oh, and how the weeks will roll on. This is the first of at least 4 straight new episodes this season. This next episode is set to be huge, taking us right back to the start of the show, only through the eyes of the doomed tail-section passengers.



This episode is important for a few reasons. First off, it's told entirely in flashback, with nobody in particular taking the lead (Ana Lucia's "official" flashback will occur in episode 8, "Collision."). Secondly, if we don't get a good look at some of these "others," at least we'll get to see some of their motives. Perhaps we can get a feel for why they are so feared among the tailies.



Children play a big role in the episode, mainly because the kids we're going to see are either dead or captured by the others. You'll remember the child dragging the teddy bear a few weeks ago, well that kid was on the plane. Of course, you already knew that, because you're savvy.



I'm excited to see the backstory of Mr. Eko. This guy rules, and his motives are very secretive and mysterious. I'm also looking forward to seeing how their pasts intertwine with the pasts of the survivors we already know. I'm telling you this right now, Ana Lucia was on that plane for Kate, and when they run into each other in a few weeks, crap is going to hit the fan (hence the title for episode 8, "Collision"). Throw Jack, Sawyer and a dead Shannon into the mix, and you've got yourself enough drama for the rest of the season.

As was the case with the first 3 episodes of the year, "The Other 48 Days" will take place between episodes 6 and 8 with no time passing. This means that when eipsode 8 starts in 2 weeks, we'll pick up right where we left off, with Shannon dying in Sayid's arms.



I could continue, but then what would I have for you next week? "Abandoned" ruled, and "The Other 48 Days" will be chock-full of insane information to retain. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks for checking this out, and don't forget to stop here every Friday for more Lost news. While you're here, go ahead and check out all of my LOST FRIDAY posts. They have a ton of information, they're high in fiber and they won't call you a nerd when you leave the room:

SEASON TWO - RERUN EDITION: VOLUME 2
SEASON TWO - RERUN EDITION
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 5 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 4 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 3 REVIEW
SEASON TWO - EPISODE 1 REVIEW
SEASON TWO PREVIEW

A simply amazing LOST FRIDAY is being assembled and will arrive tomorrow, sharply dressed and pleasant smelling.

Until then, let's all take a trip in the CDP Wayback Machine, for a look at what was going on here one year ago today.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004 - Violence Good! Sex Bad!

Here, we discuss sex and violence, which is always a great topic for Sweeps Month. Coincidentally enough, I recall an incident where I was nearly mugged at gunpoint while in England.

We took Gabe to the vet again today, as he has taken to whizzing blood on the carpet (seriously?). The vet said that this was normal (seriously?), and he should straighten right out in a few days. We bought the cats a third litter box for variety, as was the suggestion of the vet (seriously?). I'm keeping a close eye on him, but I have no idea what I'm looking for.

Enjoy!

As promised yesterday, I wanted to give everyone a full update on Gabe. First, the back story.

If you don’t already know, Gabe is one of my two cats. If you’re a newlywed 20-something couple who lives in an apartment, it’s a prerequisite that you pick yourself up a couple of cats. Upon moving to Madison some years ago, that’s exactly what we did.

Gabe is a Blue Point Siamese male. Since we adopted him from the shelter, his exact age is unknown, although we have since figured him to be about 5 years old. When we saw him in the shelter, his ribs were sticking out from his chest and he looked quite underweight. Since then, we have him at an ideal weight for his breed and age.



He’s an amazing and intelligent feline. He runs down the stairs when you call him, jumping into your lap and purring without fail. He hasn’t bit or scratched a soul, regardless of what awful things we do to him. When the Missus enters the apartment complex after work, he can tell she’s home before I can. He recognizes the jingling of her keys, separating the sound from all of the other jingling keys he hears all day. He’s playful and wildly affectionate, relaxed and Zen, brilliant and resourceful. He’s pretty much the coolest cat I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen thousands.

Gabe is a needy soul. He’ll cry when he’s not around you, simply because he wants to be in your lap. He’s never annoying about it; he just lets you know that he misses you when you’re away. When you come home from work, he’s right at the door to greet you. He’d fetch me my slippers if I wore them. Most people that meet Gabe say the same thing, that he acts more like a dog than a cat. His loyalty rivals that of a Golden Retriever, only he doesn’t need to be walked and can whiz in the house. He doesn’t have an enemy in the world.



Gabe’s past, however, seems a bit more sordid. Apparently, he was seized from a house that was overrun with cats, which usually means poor health and disease. The fact that he came from a place like this and still maintains his temperament is a sight to behold. It’s as if he’s making a decision every morning to be nice to everyone he meets. Not to mention, he’s a beautiful specimen. He keeps his coat smooth and well-groomed, sometimes spending hours on a rigid cleaning routine. At first glance, he may appear intimidating and stoic, but instantly becomes your new best friend. He has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen on a non-human.

When we brought him home a couple of years ago, we already had a Siamese female in the house. When she initially rejected his company, rather than fight back, he anxiously chewed the fur off of his feet. Make no mistake about it, this is a cat that loves and wishes to be loved. Now, the two of them curl up on the couch together most every night.


(He looks upset because he has an ass pressed against his ribs.)

Keeping his past and breed in mind, it wasn’t a surprise that Gabe contracted a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). We first noticed it a couple of months ago when we saw that he had taken to whizzing in the Missus’ bathtub. When cats get a UTI, it hurts too much to pee in the litter box, so they try to find a smooth, cool surface, like the tub (I've been known to do this on occasion when the toilet gets too repetitive for me). We were all set to take him to the vet, when he made a full recovery. We considered ourselves lucky, and forgot about the whole thing.

What we didn’t know was that Gabe had kidney-stone like particles in his kidneys and bladder. Just because he passed the stone and got over the first hump didn’t mean that he’d pull it off every time. This reached a head on Monday morning.

The Missus had called in sick on Monday, as she was feeling awful from the weekend. By the time she woke up, Gabe was already howling outside of the bedroom door. When she opened up, a clearly frightened Gabe ran and hid under the bed, which is something that he never does. Missus knew something was wrong, and tried to figure out what was up. Gabe was howling in pain and growling deeply, which was completely new for him. Not really knowing what to do, the Missus called me at work and filled me in. I told her to immediately call the vet and set up an appointment. I skipped out on work for the afternoon and raced home.

When I got there, the Missus was feeling rather helpless and scared, and Gabe was no better. He was still hiding in the bedroom, sitting in such a way that indicated that it was the only position that didn’t hurt him. We stuffed him into the crate and took him straight to the vet.

Gabe was in the vet’s office for no more than 30 seconds when we figured out what was wrong with him. As soon as the vet touched his tummy, he screamed in pain and hid under the chairs. “Your cat can’t pee,” the vet told us.

“This is an emergency situation that requires an immediate decision,” she told us. Cats can literally have their kidneys explode on them, killing them slowly and painfully, and Gabe was verging on this circumstance due to a severe blockage. A surgery needed to be conducted instantly, and the vet left the room to get us forms to sign.

For the few minutes me and the Missus were alone in the room together, we talked it over. Without question, we were going ahead with this operation, regardless of weather it meant we would have to live on cheese sandwiches for the rest of the year. The operation required for them to insert a catheter into Gabe’s bladder, working on removing the stones and allowing him to urinate on his own again. Apart from that, we needed a slew of antibiotics, special food and a lot of hope to make sure that he would be okay.

It should be noted at this point that if the Missus wouldn’t have called in sick that day, we would have come home to a dead cat. No question about it. Take from that what you will; I’m just giving you the facts.



We signed the papers and left the vet’s office. Several hours of waiting by the phone later, it finally rang. They did what they needed to do to him, the catheter was still inserted and he seemed to be doing as well as he could have. The thing with UTI’s is that the same thing could come back a week later. We’re hoping this doesn’t happen, but it’s very possible, and is another conversation for another time.

When Tuesday rolled around, we finally got a call from the vet’s office at 2:30pm. The catheter was removed; Gabe was urinating on his own and was ready to come home. We picked him up (along with a ton of medicine and food), gave the Sun Prairie Animal Hospital $500 for saving Gabe’s life, and settled him back into the house.

For the next two weeks, we have to force-feed him two different kinds of medication, feed him prescription food and put an ointment in his ears. If you’ve ever owned or been near a cat, you’ll understand why this will be almost certainly impossible, regardless of how nice they are. After two weeks, we’re taking him back in for a follow-up appointment, and scheduling him for a vigorous teeth cleaning. Remember the house overrun with cats that Gabe was rescued from? Apparently, the crazy cat woman didn’t believe in proper dental habits. Two of Gabe’s back teeth needed to be extracted, barely hanging from the sockets to begin with.

Don’t believe me? I saved the teeth.



Sorry about that; I just wanted to hammer the point home. What you need to know is that Gabe is safe and sound at home again, shaken but recovering. We're all adjusting to the new routine; doing what we can to keep him healthy and happy. We must keep a very watchful eye on him, make sure he gets his meds and comb over his litter box daily, but it’s worth it to have the family together again.


I’ll keep you posted on his progress.

A Lifetime Of Laughs: The Boycott Unity Retrospective.

Immediately following the 2004 Presidential Election, I had what friends and loved-ones would remember as a “freak-out of embarrassing proportions.” The phone was shut off, the CDP went on hiatus and I wore nothing but black to work. I shut the television off; sat down, and thought about all the work I had gone through over the last few months to ensure that what happened… didn’t happen. It was a huge feeling of failure and deflation, like when I got kicked off of the golf team in High School because I was failing Geometry. I sucked and everyone knew it.

Every day felt like I was drowning in thick gravy, and not the good kind that Grandma used to make. Everyone in Madison walked around town like they had just been punched in the gut. I came to the quick conclusion that me and the Missus didn’t have enough money to leave the country for good, so I settled on the next best thing.

I started a political cartoon.



Boycott Unity was born. If anything, it was a way to cheer myself up, sling some mud and act like I was actually making a difference. I couldn’t draw, and Paint was the only program I was proficient in, so I took pride in the fact that it looked like hell, and just focused on the dialogue.

Boycott Unity centered around 2 main characters. They didn’t have names, and were told apart only by the size of their mouths. The small-mouthed fellow was the self-intelligent liberal. The voice of progress and sarcasm, logic and reason, but always quick to realize his place in the big picture. He knew what was wrong and how to change it, but he normally sunk his energy into things that mattered none to his future. He's a lot like me.



The larger-mouthed gentleman represented everything that I dislike about the right wing, and everything logical conservatives dislike about the right wing, as well. He talked without thinking, conversed without listening and believed the unbelievable. He was essentially the worst conservative ever; a composite of everything that keeps you from talking to men in suits.



Without question, these characters were satires of both ends of the spectrum. People like this don’t really exist, although everything they said came from somewhere in reality. It just made sense for me to use two political representatives who really had no business giving their opinion. I think that this cartoon summed this mindset up perfectly.



Most of the time, Boycott Unity focused on current events and world happenings. Around the time of the strip, the war in Iraq was picking up more steam and critics, and George Bush was re-elected to office. The debate was hot over the concept of pre-emptive strikes.



Already, people were talking about who would bring the Democrats to glory in 2008.



For about a week, I had a storyline where our Conservative friend attended the President's inagural ball.





A lot of strips focused on misconceptions we have concerning opposing political parties. The idea that we like to mash together everything we hate about conservatives or liberals and assume that they all think that way is foolish and irresponsible.



As was shown in the 2004 elections, Liberals take things for granted, they don’t work hard enough to invoke change and they focus too much of their time on things that make no difference whatsoever. This angers me, mainly because I’m living proof. These strips were mostly about how mad I am at myself, because I’m slacking off on doing something important.



I wrote this strip shortly after the death of my Grandfather. It cheered up my family as much as it could have.



Other times, I removed politics entirely from the strip, and just let the characters screw with each other. Every now and again, you had to remember why they enjoyed each other’s company in the first place.





The song he's singing here is "Mama Said Knock You Out," by LL Cool J. It's funnier when you know that going in.



Sometimes, things were written directly out of problems I was having in my own little world. Things like work, relationships and family would make their way into a Boycott Unity cartoon.





Every once in a while, the bad news and mud got so deep I couldn't help but get serious for a second. Well, you know, as serious as a stick figure can get, I suppose.



This was one of the most commented cartoons I've ever done. It generated a lot of positive feedback, and for that I am proud.



Well, this one may have actually received more feedback, now that I think about it.



People always asked me, “why are they friends?” My answer is that they need each other. One can’t exist without the other in the real world, and people often forget that. Everyone needs a counter weight, and everyone needs someone to fight with. Otherwise, the imbalance would destroy them. They knew that they needed each other, and they were willing to accept that.

After about 70 of these little 4-paneled turds, I decided to call it quits. First and foremost, I didn't like doing them anymore. You'd be absolutely amazed at how much work goes into something as simple as this cartoon. Try creating a few of them, and you'll drive yourself insane. You'll try to remember what life was like before you had to make a joke every fourth line of a conversation. I felt like I did what I wanted to do, and it was a good time to knock it off before the strip started to really suck.

Another reason I gave it up was that not a lot of people seemed interested in it. The CDP was getting good traffic, but it was like pulling teeth to get people over to Boycott Unity. I was feeling frustrated, which led to this; one of the last strips I did.



Looking back one year later, I found myself actually enjoying these; probably a little too much. For some reason, I took a lot of pride in these damn things. Once I pulled the plug on the strip, I removed all of the comics from the interweb permanently (until now, of course). Afterwards, a few people told me that they missed them and wanted to see them again, which made me feel fuzzy.

It's funny how angry I was a year ago. Either that, or it's sad how jaded I am one year later. People get used to their surroundings, and for better or for worse, that has pretty much happened to me. Sure, the news still makes me sick, I refuse to engage in debates anymore and the Fox News Channel needs a severe keelhauling, but I don't feel the need to take it to the streets too much anymore. I haven't given up, I just temporarily forgot what I was fighting for.

I'm not an angry Liberal. I'm not a Conservative hater. I'm a concerned, smart-ass American who can't draw. As you've hopefully noticed, I don't talk politics on the CDP anymore, because it's neither the place nor the time for such discussion. Rather, I hope that this entertained you somewhat, and perhaps reminded you of where we have been in the last year.

At the very least, I think they're pretty funny.

NEXT: Sweeps Month Continues!

Here are some links to tide you over while I put the finishing touches on the Boycott Unity Retrospective. I was at a get-together on Saturday and the Packer game on Sunday, so I fell behind a bit. Enjoy your Monday, and let us know how you're spending it in the comments section.

1. Man gets rear-end glued to toilet seat at Home Depot. Man sues for pain and suffering; hopes it will stick. Glued and Sued

2. Gorillas star in new reality show. Melons and tick-bath to the victor. Gorilla Reality Show

3. Candidate promises cows to public if elected. Chickens unavailable for comment. Sri Lanka Cows If Elected

4. High School basketball team loses 112-2. Losing coach demoted to teaching shop full time. 112-2 Basketball Game

5. Graffiti artists should have their thumbs cut off, says communist who doesn't appreciate tag art. Cut Off Their Thumbs

6. Glue Story #2 - Jilted lover glues man shut. Punch line not available. Glue Story #2 - Genitals

7. Meet Canada's richest cat. Owes wealth to high-yield Kibble investment accounts, and a dead owner. Canada's Richest Cat

8. Pirates? PIRATES!!! Kenya Pirate Attack

About one year ago to the day, I launched an angry political page in the aftermath of the 2004 Presidential Elections. Eventually, this angry political page became a not-so-angry political cartoon page. Thanks to the CDP Wayback Machine, you can go and check out the post that brought Boycott Unity into the Blogosphere.

"Post #100." - Friday, November 5 - 2004

Check it out, and get ready for the Boycott Unity Retrospective. It's coming up next.

Another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss.

First and foremost, people have told me that I should warn of potential spoilers. That being said, let it be known now that this Lost Friday, along with every Lost Friday until the end of time, will contain potential spoilers. SPOILERS AHOY! There you go. There are things that I know, and things that I avoid knowing so I don't ruin the show for myself. Use your best discretion, I do.

This week's episode was a repeat airing of Season 2 - Episode 3, titled "Orientation." It was one of the most important, scrutinized and theorized episodes of the series thus far, so a repeat airing wasn't too bad at all. If you want more of a detailed analisys of "Orientation," allow me to direct you to one of my earlier Lost Friday posts. Enjoy.

Now, back to the task at hand. Wednesday's episode is entitled "Abandoned," and the writers specifically aired reruns just so this episode would coincide with sweeps week. It's going to be that good. Here's the skinny, straight from the press release:

"Sawyer’s wound becomes life-threatening as he, Michael and Jin make their way through the interior of the island with the tail section survivors. Meanwhile, Shannon is once again haunted by visions of Walt, and Charlie becomes jealous of Locke’s interest in Claire."



This episode will be Shannon-centric, flashing back to the death of her father. Once again, remember that Jack was party responsible for Mr. Rutherford's death, as he opted to save his future wife on the operating table instead. I find it interesting to recall the argument that Boone had with Jack in season one concerning the choice to save Boone from the water instead of the drowning girl. If you go back and watch that conversation, a lot of things ring true concerning the parallel concerning Boone and Shannon's Father (or step-father).

You must also remember that someone's going to be killed by the end of the episode. Theories and speculations are flaming the interweb, but any betting man would figure the corpse in question will be Shannon. After all, it IS her episode, and we're going to find out every little detail about why she is the way she is. She's going to get busy with Sayid, start freaking out about Walt again and end up dead.



From what I can tell, the killer won't be revealed for at least a few weeks. This gives us much to look forward to. Perhaps the killer was one of the people on the plane.

Because we can discuss "Abandoned" more in-depth once it's over (and you've heard enough about what's going to happen), I wanted to look ahead to upcoming episodes. Most of this has been fact-checked and confirmed, but you never know until it actually happens.

Episode 7 - "The Other 48 Days" - November 16

The harrowing first 48 days in the lives of the tail section survivors are revealed. From what I can tell, this will be told entirely in flashback (nobody in particular?), going back and forth from various tail-section folk. Previous photos have shown Ana and Eko, along with some children who look suspiciously like the filthy-footed "others" we saw during "...And Found."

Obviously, this episode is going to rule because we're going to not only get more backstory on the characters, but we might get to see who some of these "others" actually are. Keep in mind that the "others" pretty much slaughtered or captured all of the tail-section survivors.

If you want amazing photos from this upcoming episode, check out my previous LOST FRIDAY post.

Episode 8 - "Collision" - November 23

Violence erupts when Ana Lucia and her group stumble upon the other castaways.

From what I can tell, this will be the episode where all the survivors finally meet up. It may also be the episode where we find out who (or what) killed the latest casuality. It looks like it will be Ana Lucia-centric, focusing on what she did before she crashed on the island. Expect to see a Jin/Sun and Rose/Bernard reunion.

Straight from the rumor mill, here's a preview of a pivotal scene:

"Sawyer practically dies because of his infected shoulder. He is suffering, like the marshall. Ana is all for a mercy killing but Jack refuses. Ana has a line "I'm taking over." Ana tries a violent take-over, but Desmond shows up unexpectedly and saves the day. Fans who have been waiting to see Ana get put in her place will see it. Jack questions Desmond about the medicine, Desmond says it will help but that Sawyer has "bigger" problems then the infection. Flashback explains how Ana lost her job as a cop, also why she was in Australia. "

Woah. Try to take that all in for a second. For weeks now, I've been telling people that I think Ana Lucia is a cop who was on the plane to keep an eye on Kate. Now, my theory has been (nearly) confirmed.



Now it's COMPLETELY confirmed. This picture was taken on set. Things are going to get crazy between Ana and Kate, especially since it's concerning Kate's fugitive past, along with her beloved Sawyer.

Wait a second...Desmond's coming back? Holy crap! He's going to inject Sawyer with some of his secret medicine? Seriously?

The synopsis states that Sawyer has "bigger" problems than the infection. I get the feeling that the monster is going to finally make a return appearance. This is going to be absolutely insane.

Episode 9 - "What Kate Did" - November 30

"As Kate's backstory continues, her original crime is revealed. Locke and Eko make an interesting discovery about the film, and Michael has a mysterious encounter with the computer."

Fresh off of the Ana Lucia flashback, we get to flashback to "what Kate did" that made her such a wanted woman. My theory has always been that it has something to do with her mother, as she was none too happy to see her at the hospital.

The fact that Locke and Eko (Eko?) discover something about the film will put a lot of pieces into place concerning why they're still pressing the button in the first place. Apparently, after watching the video too many times, Desmond starting taping the celluloid back together, causing strips of film to be pretty much removed from the video. Well, let's just say that they're going to find them, and it's going to, once again, rule. The missing portions of the film will start to bring the Dharma Initiative more into perspective, and we might get to hang out with Desmond again.
"Michael has a mysterious encounter with the computer." This will clearly have something to do with Walt, but we don't know what as of yet.

Episode 10 - UNKNOWN - UNKNOWN

Episode 10 is really under wraps right now, but I wanted to bring it up for a serious reason. As if the next 5 episodes won't give us MORE than enough to chew on, the execs at ABC tell us that Episode 10 will take place on the island...BEFORE THE CRASH. Do I see a Desmond flashback on the horizion? We'll find out.

Whew. This is plenty to talk about until Wednesday. Start the conspiracy in the comments section. Please notice that I added my very own LOST FRIDAY pieces to the LOST sidebar section. Now you can index what the CDP had to say about Lost every week.

Later.

Okay, I'm not going to lie to you. I feel like crap today. My Boycott Unity piece was supposed to be here today, but last night I went to bed at quarter to 10 and slept straight through to 6:30. I think it had something to do with the entire plate of Alfredo Portabello Ravioli I washed down with a pint of Caramel Cone ice cream. It's going to be a long day.

Not only that, but I have a training seminar out of the office all day today. The next time I touch a computer will be at 5 tonight. In honor of SWEEPS MONTH, however, I want to post something every day of November, so here I am.

So, here's the deal. My next post will be LOST FRIDAY tomorrow (which will rule, by the way), and the BOYCOTT UNITY RETROSPECTIVE (equally amazing, if not better) will arrive this weekend.

Until then, the comments section is yours. What are you working on today? What are you having for lunch? What are you wearing? Have you ever killed anyone? Stuff like that. Get to know each other a little better, and I'll be back to entertain you in no time.

NEXT: BOYCOTT UNITY RETROSPECTIVE.
(the greatest comic strip of all time.)

SWEEPS MONTH is officially underway. Ahoy!

If you're new here, SWEEPS MONTH is where we pull out all the stops to bring in as much traffic as possible before November is over. This is when we do all the year-end lists and whatnot, along with a ton of things we've never done before. I work hard to pull it all together, and all I ask is that you show up at least 15 times a day. It's a decent trade-off.

I really enjoy the comments section. They allow me to connect with the fans, the friends and the common man. They give me a chance to prove to everyone that I'm just like them, and not placed high upon some unreachable celebrity pedestal. Sure, I live in the coolest city in the nation, I'm married to a smoking hot woman and my cats are top-notch, but I'm still quite humble. It's in the comments section that it all comes together.

I've compiled all the best comments from year one of the CDP (2004), and placed them here for your enjoyment (year two will be along later in the month). Here, you can see what life was like for the first 300-some days of the CDP's existence. Straight from the mouth of you, the common man (but mostly me), we can all re-live the big and small moments that made up 2004. Enjoy.

For example, here's the very first comment I ever received:

Her page is way cooler than yours...you suck! – February 2004

This was in reference to the Missus' blog. I later found out that it was indeed the Missus who wrote it. In fact, the Missus is one of the best commentees on the CDP. Here's just a sampling of her masterwork:

I'm glad that you got your comment dealy working...must have taken a really smart person, probably a girlfriend, to figure it out for you. – February 2004

Girls can get along well with most people, too, provided they act normal....guys aren't so great, they're just not as involved in their communication as girls. That's why girls have so many problems with people...they can see things that guys can't. It's what my mom called "the uterine homing device." – February 2004

It's amazing that your taste in TV and music can both suck SIMULTANEOUSLY. – March 2004

The other day I was on the computer and Ryan was watching his teeny bopper mtv like he always does and I heard this horrific noise coming from the TV. At first it sounded like a Japanese girl who couldn't speak english or sing very well. Upon closer inspection, it sounded like Rush. But I KNEW that Rush speaks english...they're from Canada. So I turned around only to be greeted by the horrific sight of a mongoloid man with creepy hair and disturbing features. Naturally, I exclaimed "What is this crap?" to which Ryan replied "Coheed and Cambria. They're awesome!" I raised my eyebrows in disbelief and went back to my computer work. Awful. Truly truly awful. – April 2004

The Eggstractor does too work! I just had to get the hang of it....with the exception of the one egg that shot right out of the kitchen onto the computer desk, the rest of the eggs were a success. – May 2004

He always swore at an infant...he didn't just throw a phone. Good times. – June 2004
(I've read this comment a hundred times, and I have no idea what it means.)

Did I tell you Ryan that we were doing a naked wedding? Sheesh, I thought I would have told you that by now. – June 2004

"Wet from Birth"...that's disgusting, and it makes me want to vomit up all of my delcious cheesy shells and jalapenos lunch. – September 2004

Yeah, if your dad just grew his hair out a bit he would be identical to Johnny damon...that's pretty funny. – October 2004

Who knew that a little 8-bit video game could cause so many profanities to come from the mouth of a 22 year old? – December 2004

Of course, she's not the only voice of intelligence and reason here. Every now and again, some friends drop in for a few words of wisdom. Like Ben, for example:

It's ALL about the Fiber my friend. I poop five times a day. – February 2004

It has been decided by an act of congress (dated 09/01/2004) that, in an effort to avoid the same confusion that took place at the polls during the general elections of 2000, the 2004 presidential election will be held on two consecutive days. Those planning to vote for the Kerry- Edwards ticket are to report to the their designated polling place and cast their vote on Tuesday, November 2. Those wishing to vote for the Bush- Cheney ticket are to report on Wednesday, November 3. – September 2004

Let's not forget Sherry:

For any person who doesn't know and who happens to stumble onto this page, note that Ben and I are NOT brother and sister, but yes, we do sleep with each other. – March 2004

I just wanted to say that that story brought a very stressed out girl lots of joy and happiness. Thank you! You left out one important detail... the pathetic-looking bear keychain that Celia bought in the gas station connected to the motel and diner. Oh, I love that keychain!! – April 2004

Did you guys hear that Edwards is going to be Kerry's running mate!!!!??? I'm so excited because I was going to vote for Edwards for president anyway! – July 2004

Oh my god! That Ashlee Simpson thing was hilarious; what was she thinking dancing like that? Well, she got what she deserved! haha! – October 2004

Geez! I'm sitting here scared that some little doll thing is going to come up behind me screaming with a little knife, trying to cut my ankles; or that I'm going to look in the closet and find a green-colored girl with a really, really scary look on her face; or that a girl is going to come crawling out of my TV; or that George Bush is going to win the election on Tuesday! Whoops, enough said... – October 2004

Ben and I got up at 9:30 this morning, made blueberry pancakes, decorated our Christmas tree, and then went shopping! It's sad that I consider sleeping until 9:30 as sleeping in. Are you guys having a Christmas tree this year? You should because you're able to get a huge-ass one! Like a 20-foot-tall one! That would be awesome! – December 2004

Here's one from RJ that I always found funny:

You're in the people pleasing business? What a coincidence! I'm a people! Now please me! – August 2004

Still, nobody comments more than I do:

Check baby, check baby, 1-2-3-4
Check baby, check baby, 1-2-3
Check baby, check baby, 1-2
Check baby, check baby, 1

It's called the rump shaker. And I'm testing the comments. – July 2004

Me and Batboy have been on the outs recently since he started spending more time with the stuck-up "Weekly World News" crowd. You know, the 400-pound baby, that alien that meets with all the Presidents, and that Confederate soldier that they found alive in a cave. They're nice people on their own, but get them together and they pretend you don't exist. – July 2004

What can I say, I feel better now that my soul is gone. – August 2004

I also got a haircut a couple days ago. People at work tell me that it makes me look younger. I think it makes me look more mature and studious. Then again, most people are stupid. – August 2004

My page should be fixed. If it looks weird on your computer, it's because you have a strange text size/resolution configuration and it's not my fault. Maybe you should stop trying to be such a loner and do something right for a change. – September 2004

That Jessica Simpson thing was so brilliantly poetic I could just poop with happiness. – October 2004

Dude, I put it right through his neck. I could feel the skin give way for the tines to slide through. That's why I threw up once he died. – November 2004

You've got to admit though, it would've been quite funny to have you yak in someone's $30 Prime Rib. – November 2004

Did you know that this page is responsible for the deaths of thousands of cattle? It's true. The server is fueled by cow hides. – December 2004

Yeah, my Mom looks like a whale in that picture. "Hey, where's my Mom, and what's that whale doing at my graduation?" – December 2004

I think that cats taste like Tofu, they absorb the flavor of whatever you're simmering them in. – December 2004

But really, the best part about comments is the endless dialogue:

"Mr. President, how's the re-election campaign coming along?"
"Ummm...."

"Mr. President, do you prefer ham or turkey?"
"Ummm...."

"Mr. President, where did you hide the Easter eggs?"
"Ummm...."

"Mr. President, where are your pants?"
"Ummm...." – April 2004

THE CDP: As long as I look good, maybe they won't notice my crippling emotional problems hindering my work.

MISSUS: Your self-esteem and emotional issues are so outwardly apparent, seems like it would be hard not to notice. – May 2004

MISSUS: Will this be the year that Mr. Jacobs finally kills someone?

THE CDP: With the Gipper dying, and Michael Moore spreading filth all over the airwaves, this might be the year he rips a child's head off and scoops out the tender goo inside. – June 2004

THE CDP: At least that's what I'm going to tell my family this weekend. They have more important things to worry about than their crack pipe-sucking son. Hey, that's pretty funny! Imagine me smoking crack, and you'll never laugh at anything else as hard again.

MISSUS: No, it's not very funny when you smoke crack...it actually scares us, and makes us all hide under our beds...and the children all scream "Daddy, please don't sell our shoes! They're the only pair we have left!"

THE CDP: Yeah, well maybe we wouldn't have so many kids if you believed in birth control, and didn't want to live off the system so damn much. I've become everything I've ever hated.Well, off to the job center to get food stamps.

MISSUS: YOU'VE taken a turn for the worst, you lousy father and provider.

THE CDP: My only task as a male is to impregnate as many women as possible, and not pay any child support.

MISSUS: As is mine....oops! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone else that. – August 2004

SHERRY: I know that I'm telling everyone around me to vote, but I don't know if that's enough. I should start putting up posters or something, or get a mega-phone (or whatever they're called) and start shouting things at people on campus.

AARON: Sherry, you should definitely get a megaphone and start shouting things at people on campus. That would be awesome. – September 2004

TINMAN: Holding candles at midnight and singing Kum-ba-yah will not stop these spineless jerkoffs from attacking again; firing a SAM missile up there camel lovin' asses might.

THE CDP: I don't like our President for a few reasons. Mainly because he stole the election, he's an agenda-based liar and he brought us to war under false principles. I am NOT, on the other hand, a peacenik.

I believe in the idea of war; but we should only go to war when it's absolutely necessary. The pretenses and reasons for our current war were completely false, and have been proven so. Iraq had nothing to do with September 11, but GWB was looking for a perfect time to start a war he had been thinking about for a decade. Now that we're in this mess, we have to get out of it.

Pulling our troops and running would be a disaster. We have to stay and fight, lose more innocent lives and destroy our status in the eyes of the rest of the world.

This war was a mistake. We went after the wrong people for the wrong reasons, and we're stuck. I agree completely that we need to target the terrorists and make sure this never happens again, but that's not what we're doing. The private terrorist groups continue to grow while we bomb another innocent city.

MISSUS: I hope know one wants to bomb me, because I REALLY like camels. – September 2004

AARON: I expect you to have a mustache next time I see you, Ryan. Seriously.

MISSUS: Ryan, your grandma thought you would look nice with a moustache. I said, "I don't think so." I swear, if you EVER try to grow one...there will be some serious consequences. Probably even death. – September 2004

MISSUS: Did you call me something mean and then delete it? Damn caffeine induced dementia...

THE CDP: No, I spelled caffeine wrong, and I wanted to keep my Blog spotless of misspeelings.

MISSUS: I don't see what you have against Miss Peelings. She's been very kind to you...

THE CDP: She taught me how to live again... how to love again. – October 2004

BEN: Christopher Reeves is dead! Ha HA!-Beenjamin

THE CDP: Thanks for your input, Beenjamin.
"Where have you been, mon'?"

"I've been jamin'!"

I can't believe Christopher Reeves died on the same day as Christopher Reeve! What a tragic coincidence. Okay, I'm done giving you crap about your grammar now. – October 2004

THE CDP: Dr. Katz was also filmed like that, and actually produced by the same company that does Home Movies. Sort of like The Simpsons and Futurama.

MISSUS: Dr. Katz wasn't really very funny either.

THE CDP: Well, now you're just trying to piss me off. – November 2004

THE CDP: They're only called "steak knives" in theory. We just need knives to cut things. Cheese...um, new CD's...Celia, can you help me out here? What do we need knives for again?

Come back to me when you have a question about Television or Sports. It's really all I know.

MISSUS: We need knives because ours are all dull and lousy and they don't cut anything! And yes, I will kill you. – December 2004

THE MOM: I will no longer give my hard earned money to Forever 21 or to New York and Company! What is our world coming to when you cannot even return something to a store without being harrassed?

THE CDP: Those are some trendy stores. I can't even afford shoes, so I'm walking around with plastic bags twined around my ankles. – December 2004

MISSUS: Good thing for the whole wedding thing, cuz 2004 kinda sucked. No, it REALLY sucked.

THE CDP: I don't know if 2004 sucked THAT much. I mean, we moved into a new place, got married, things like that. I think in terms of my life in general, it was one of the most important years of my life thus far. I'm certainly not the person I was in 2003. A lot of terrible things happened this year, but just concerning me, it was pretty memorable.

MISSUS: Yes, as far as my own life it was a good year. As far as the outside world, it was a pretty sucky year in those terms.

THE CDP: There you go. Who cares about the rest of the world, WE had a good year! I heart isolationism. – December 2004

KOPLIE: Yo, going through the page as usual to catch up and make an embarrassment of myself for trying not to laugh in a stuffy quiet computer lab! I have to say that CPD is a great escape from writing a 10+ page paper on the Spanish Inqusition: its causes, new insights and its relation to the anti-semitic side of the Reformation.

THE CDP: You're the second person in just as many days using my page as a diversion from a college Spanish project. That's weird as hell.Also, I agree with you completely. Catching up with the Canadian Police Department is a great way to waste your day. I’m an asshole. – December 2004

But through it all, the love still remains:

MISSUS: I'm running of with Gabriel Q. Meowbox, and there's nothing that you can do about it.
THE CDP: "Off", hun. You're running "off" with him.

Wait, you're doing what?

MISSUS: I'm running of with him, can't you read???

THE CDP: That's it, the birthday party is off.

MISSUS: I think you mean that it's of.

THE CDP: I just realized that I'm physically incapable of hating you.

MISSUS: I'm pretty sure you mean that you're incapable off hating me.

THE CDP: Nope, it turns out that I can hate you just fine.

AARON: You kids are hilarious. – November 2004

Later on in the month, you'll be able to see the best comments of 2005, which is even bigger and better than 2004.

What's your favorite comment of 2004? Speak your mind, and maybe it will show up on the next list. SWEEPS MONTH is just beginning, so stop back often, because we're just getting warmed up.

NEXT: THE BEST OF BOYCOTT UNITY.