Wednesday, January 25

Post #300.

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Well, well, well. Here we are.

Almost two years in, and the CDP has reached Post #300. Thank you for stopping in, sounding off and contacting me over the last 23 months; I really appreciate it and hope it continues.

In the first month that the CDP was launched, I got 4 actual hits that weren't from myself or the Missus. As of January 2006, the CDP brings in an average of 300 hits a day, and an average of 9,000 hits a month. That may be embarrassingly low in comparison to more popular blogs, but considering that the CDP consists entirely of my obsessive ranting and raging egotism, it means a lot to me. I'm a sucker for small victories, so I'll take them when I can. The taste is always smooth, never bitter.

The CDP celebrates its second birthday on February 12, so we can talk more about the page then. For this post, I wanted to look back on the 300 posts that got us to this point. If this were a TV show, you'd probably call it an episode guide. However, this is not a TV show, it's a blog. So instead of an episode guide, you'd call it a disappointing blog clip show. Enjoy the boring goodness, while I take another day off.

February 2004 - (15 Posts):
2/27/2004 - Ulcers Be Damned!
2/26/2004 - 40 Degree February.
2/25/2004 - Idiot Box.
2/23/2004 - Infant a Go-Go.
2/20/2004 - (Untitled.)
2/19/2004 - Here Comes the Science.
2/18/2004 - (Untitled.)
2/18/2004 - We Love the Subs!
2/17/2004 - Comments Abound!
2/16/2004 - Sheet Envy.
2/13/2004 - (Untitled.)
2/13/2004 - (Untitled.)
2/12/2004 - (Untitled.)
2/12/2004 - Questions? Comments? Concerns?
2/12/2004 - Hey you!

March 2004 - (12 Posts):
3/31/2004 - This Is The Sound Of Settling.
3/24/2004 - Top Ten List - Part 1.
3/22/2004 - Butter Your Buns.
3/19/2004 - A New Man.
3/17/2004 - 3 Years Ago.
3/16/2004 - 2% Skim.
3/15/2004 - Punching Out.
3/10/2004 - Terror Alert: Elevated
3/08/2004 - Clear!
3/04/2004 - Tinted Aviator Glasses.
3/03/2004 - Tom Landry's Hat!
3/02/2004 - Damn Smarch Weather.

April 2004 - (14 Posts):
4/29/2004 - INT. APARTMENT - AFTERNOON
4/28/2004 - The Wizard Needs Food Badly.
4/26/2004 - My Head A-Splode.
4/22/2004 - Gone Screenwriting!
4/19/2004 - KA-BOOM!
4/16/2004 - Pleasing Bat Boy.
4/15/2004 - We're On Cloud Nine!
4/13/2004 - "Girl-Dude."
4/09/2004 - Celebrity Fan Mail!
4/08/2004 - Good Eye, Sniper.
4/07/2004 - Mission Accomplished.
4/06/2004 - Error!
4/05/2004 - "Good Morning, Dark Lord."
4/01/2004 - The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest.

May 2004 - (12 Posts):
5/27/2004 - Sinneslochen Syndrome.
5/23/2004 - The Polybius Legend.
5/17/2004 - 8 Hours In.
5/14/2004 - Everything Is A-OK.
5/12/2004 - New Wave Jacket!
5/10/2004 - Ta-Daa!
5/10/2004 - Yeee-Haw!
5/07/2004 - Da' System...Is Down.
5/07/2004 - Mr. Fancy Stamps.
5/05/2004 - PHASE II
5/04/2004 - One Dollar, Bob.
5/03/2004 - Albino Rhino.

June 2004 - (7 Posts):
6/28/2004 - Fool Me Once...
6/24/2004 - 06-19-2004
6/16/2004 - We're As Dead As Disco, Baby.
6/13/2004 - Paid Endorsement.
6/09/2004 - Bring Your Mitten Clips.
6/08/2004 - I'll Mess With Texas.
6/04/2004 - Casual Friday.

July 2004 - (7 Posts):
7/27/2004 - SKA-mmunist Dance Party!
7/25/2004 - Upside-Down Exclamation Point.
7/20/2004 - "Janna Has A Chin."
7/15/2004 - Hear You Me!
7/14/2004 - Search Me!
7/09/2004 - Sick Day.
7/06/2004 - My Pet Goat.

August 2004 - (9 Posts):
8/30/2004 - I Am The Secretary.
8/27/2004 - Casual August.
8/23/2004 - Fat Kid Dunk Tank.
8/16/2004 - Dagger Vision.
8/15/2004 - Fondue For Two.
8/09/2004 - Marinated String Cheese.
8/06/2004 - American Idiot.
8/04/2004 - Sick Day - Part Deux
8/01/2004 - Candy Mountain.

September 2004 - (7 Posts):
9/28/2004 - New Wave Mustache.
9/24/2004 - Back For The Attack!
9/17/2004 - White Collar Concussion.
9/14/2004 - Bat Boy Sez...
9/10/2004 - My September 9-11.
9/06/2004 - Stairs Make A Man Mean.
9/01/2004 - My Day Off.

October 2004 - (13 Posts):
10/28/2004 - 20 Scariest Movie Moments!
10/28/2004 - Lifting The Curse.
10/27/2004 - Pure Filler.
10/25/2004 - Bush: Portrait of a Serial Killer.
10/22/2004 - Country Mu-Suck.
10/21/2004 - Wicked Good.
10/19/2004 - Letting Off The Happiness.
10/15/2004 - Polk!
10/12/2004 - Taboo Corduroy Photo Shoot.
10/10/2004 - The Price I Pay.
10/08/2004 - Haiku Friday.
10/04/2004 - Jitterized.
10/01/2004 - Electile Dysfunction.

November 2004 - (14 Posts):
11/29/2004 - The Last Wobbler.
11/26/2004 - Tofurkey Depression.
11/23/2004 - Roses Taped To Your Windshield.
11/19/2004 - I've Got Perfect Words To Say.
11/18/2004 - It's Killing My Buzz.
11/15/2004 - Monkey Is Not A Color.
11/12/2004 - Scott Peterson Guilty.
11/10/2004 - Violence Good! Sex Bad!
11/09/2004 - Meet Me When We're 10 Years Older.
11/07/2004 - I'd Kill For A Pool Table.
11/05/2004 - Post #100.
11/02/2004 - I Reject Your Reality.
11/02/2004 - Right Now.
11/01/2004 - I Have A Plan.

December 2004 - (15 Posts):
12/31/2004 - Top 10 Of Everything.
12/29/2004 - We Got A Winner!
12/27/2004 - A Cure For Insomnia.
12/23/2004 - Worst Christmas Ever.
12/23/2004 - My Project Jacket In The Attic.
12/19/2004 - Just Like Heaven.
12/18/2004 - Fingers Touching Knees Through Holes Of Ripped Jeans.
12/16/2004 - Your Boyfriend Sucks.
12/14/2004 - C.D.P. Year In Review!
12/13/2004 - Peterson Sentenced To Death.
12/10/2004 - The Best & Worst Of 2004.
12/09/2004 - Wilhelm Screamroller.
12/06/2004 - Communist Cuddle Party.
12/03/2004 - Yesterday Is My Day.
12/01/2004 - Sweeps Month.

January 2005 - (10 Posts):
1/31/2005 - Tainted Lovespell.
1/27/2005 - January Photo Colonic.
1/26/2005 - Biggest Downer Ever. (Welcome Back!)
1/21/2005 - Cool Water Air Freshener.
1/17/2005 - The Midnight Rant.
1/14/2005 - The Routine.
1/12/2005 - More Than You Needed To Know.
1/10/2005 - I Just Don't Understand.
1/07/2005 - Faster Than A Shorthand Bullet.
1/03/2005 - Monday - January 3 – 2005.

February 2005 - (10 Posts):
2/26/2005 - My First Job. (Part IV - "Customer")
2/24/2005 - We'll Never Be Like This Again.
2/22/2005 - My First Job. (Part III - "Explosion")
2/20/2005 - My First Job. (Part II - "Death")
2/18/2005 - My First Job. (Part I - "Intro")
2/17/2005 - Mr. Electric Shock!
2/11/2005 - You're Still Here?
2/09/2005 - It's Still Summer Somewhere.
2/06/2005 - Who's Going To Be The Odd Man Out?
2/03/2005 - I Won't Remember Anyone Anymore.

March 2005 - (1o Posts):
3/29/2005 - No Room For Humans.
3/26/2005 - Weather's Here, Wish You Were Beautiful.
3/23/2005 - Mapless In The Open Sea.
3/21/2005 - Chinese Sky Candy.
3/16/2005 - Duke Sucks/Adventures In Broadcasting.
3/11/2005 - The Search Is Over.
3/09/2005 - 5 Miles In 52 Days.
3/07/2005 - Smarch!/My Mini-Vacation. (Part 2 of 2)
3/04/2005 - My Mini-Vacation. (Part 1 of 2)
3/01/2005 - Let's Go Away For A While.

April 2005 - (14 Posts):
4/30/2005 - I'm Going To Puke My Pants.
4/29/2005 - You're Creepy.
4/27/2005 - Our Girls Were Looking So Good.
4/24/2005 - She Is Your Marrow, And Your Ride Home.
4/22/2005 - Cooler By The Lake.
4/20/2005 - This Is How These Things Get Started.
4/18/2005 - Double Nerd Score.
4/15/2005 - A Dozen Bad Stories.
4/14/2005 - You're A Woman, I'm A Machine.
4/11/2005 - A Killer Game Of Crisco Twister.
4/08/2005 - The Rusty Taste Of Failure.
4/04/2005 - I Can't Look You In The Eye.
4/03/2005 - Springing Forward.
4/01/2005 - Spring's Untold Wonders.

May 2005 - (13 Posts):
5/31/2005 - Walk Toward The Light.
5/28/2005 - Uderbraten.
5/27/2005 - A Little Off The Top.
5/26/2005 - E=MC Hammer.
5/24/2005 - I'm Your Only Friend, I'm Not Your Only Friend.
5/20/2005 - I Could Beat Shaq At "HORSE".
5/18/2005 - Baby, You Got A Stew Goin'!
5/16/2005 - Thunderstorm Grilling Techniques.
5/11/2005 - Motivationizal Seminizar.
5/09/2005 - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now.
5/07/2005 - We Got Movie Sign!
5/05/2005 - My Time Off. (Two & Two.)
5/03/2005 - Let's Pretend We Don't Exist.

June 2005 - (10 Posts):
6/29/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Three.
6/28/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Two.
6/27/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day One.
6/16/2005 - Mountie vs. Fishing Guide.
6/14/2005 - Two Thousand Days & Counting.
6/11/2005 - Where's My Promotion?
6/09/2005 - It's Like Stealing Television!
6/08/2005 - I Don't Dream Good.
6/05/2005 - Why Can't I Have One For Myself?
6/03/2005 - Hired Goons.

July 2005 - (14 Posts):
7/28/2005 - Everybody Knows That Girls Love Robots.
7/24/2005 - Grilled Cheese America.
7/23/2005 - Dead Men Don't Tell Secrets, Do They?
7/21/2005 - I Was Almost Beautiful Once.
7/17/2005 - Post #200 - Part 3 Of 3.
7/17/2005 - Post #200 - Part 2 Of 3.
7/17/2005 - Post #200 - Part 1 Of 3.
7/14/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Seven & Eight.
7/10/2005 - Freelance Ahoy!
7/09/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Six.
7/07/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Five Point Five.
7/05/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Five.
7/03/2005 - Halftime. (Drink & Regret.)
7/01/2005 - Toronto Diary - Day Four.

August 2005 - (11 Posts):
8/30/2005 - Bring It On, Mr. Little.
8/28/2005 - We Will Become Silhouettes.
8/26/2005 - Wood Paneling Conservatory.
8/22/2005 - Raise Your Glasses.
8/19/2005 - "The Sky Just Exploded."
8/18/2005 - Dirt Nap.
8/14/2005 - Football Fantasy.
8/11/2005 - 50 Signs Of My Apocalypse.
8/08/2005 - That Was A Washboard Break.
8/04/2005 - Six Smaller Bold Headlines.
8/02/2005 - Anesthetic For The Amputee.

September 2005 - (11 Posts):
9/28/2005 - Neighborhood #5 (CDP)
9/26/2005 - "You?"
9/24/2005 - The Red, White & Black.
9/21/2005 - Insect Karma Revolt.
9/20/2005 - Link Party.
9/16/2005 - Ask A Cheap-Ass Pirate.
9/14/2005 - Lost: Season Two Preview.
9/10/2005 - The CDP Fall TV Preview.
9/08/2005 - Checks Will Not Be Honored.
9/05/2005 - Talk Nerdy To Me.
9/01/2005 - Increase Speed, Drop Down, Reverse Direction.

October 2005 - (16 Posts):
10/30/2005 - Puttin' On The Moustache.
10/28/2005 - Lost Friday - Rerun Edition.
10/27/2005 - Best News EVER.
10/26/2005 - Return Of The Link Party.
10/23/2005 - You Make Me Sick.
10/21/2005 - Lost Friday - Volume 3.
10/19/2005 - The Wayback Machine.
10/18/2005 - The Perfect Cartoon.
10/16/2005 - Ask A Cheap-Ass Pirate. (Volume 2)
10/14/2005 - Lost Friday - Volume 2.
10/13/2005 - "It's My Costume."
10/10/2005 - Rinse And Spit.
10/07/2005 - Sweet Merciful Crap.
10/05/2005 - Rejected Advice Columns.
10/03/2005 - This Is Just Mean.
10/01/2005 - Final Fantasy.

November 2005 - (20 Posts):
11/30/2005 - I Don't Know Where Everything Is.
11/29/2005 - CDP Wayback Machine: Drunk Edition.
11/27/2005 - Twenty-Two.
11/25/2005 - Lost Friday - "Collision."
11/23/2005 - 50 Things I'm Thankful For.
11/20/2005 - "Did They Take Her Kidneys?"
11/18/2005 - Lost Friday - "The Other 48 Days."
11/16/2005 - Men Are Stupid: Example #180,986.
11/15/2005 - Game, Set & Munch.
11/13/2005 - Let's Go To The Mall.
11/11/2005 - Lost Friday - Episode 6.
11/10/2005 - CDP Wayback Machine - Sexy Results.
11/09/2005 - Support Your Local Cat.
11/08/2005 - Intro-Feedback-Setup-Punchline-Repeat.
11/07/2005 - Link Party - Tired & Lazy Edition.
11/06/2005 - Wayback Machine - Angry Left Wing Edition.
11/04/2005 - Lost Friday - Son Of A Rerun Edition.
11/03/2005 - Chink In The Armor.
11/02/2005 - Off The Record.
11/01/2005 - No Comment - 2004 Edition.

December 2005 - (17 Posts):
12/29/2005 - The Party's Over. (Year Of The Me!)
12/27/2005 - CDP Year In Review.
12/23/2005 - Lost Friday - Christmas Edition.
12/22/2005 - Take Out Your Short List.
12/21/2005 - Best & Worst Of 2005.
12/20/2005 - Please Stand By.
12/19/2005 - Top 20 Albums Of 2005 - Part 4 Of 4.
12/17/2005 - Link Party - Year End 2004 Edition.
12/16/2005 - Lost Friday - Rerun Edition Rerun.
12/15/2005 - Top 20 Albums Of 2005 - Part 3 Of 4.
12/14/2005 - Top 20 Albums Of 2005 - Part 2 Of 4.
12/13/2005 - Top 20 Albums Of 2005 - Part 1 Of 4.
12/11/2005 - Razor Burn.
12/09/2005 - Lost Friday - "Rerun Edition Strikes Back."
12/07/2005 - The Not Top 10.
12/04/2005 - Bold & Brassy, Texas-Style!
12/02/2005 - Lost Friday - "What Kate Did."

January 2006 - (19 Posts and counting):
1/25/2006 - Post #300.
1/24/2006 - Link Party - Post #299 Edition.
1/23/2006 - 53 Random Facts About Chuck Norris.
1/22/2006 - Sunday Conversation-Sponsored By Ford.
1/20/2006 - Lost Friday - "The Hunting Party."
1/19/2006 - Jeep Pizza. (FOX Sucks.)
1/17/2006 - 10 Stupid Jobs.
1/16/2006 - I'm Having A Dream.
1/13/2006 - Lost Friday - "The 23rd Psalm."
1/12/2006 - New Pantheon Shortlist Revealed.
1/11/2006 - Would You Be Mine? Could You Be Mine?
1/10/2006 - Sucks To Be You. (I Know, I Know.)
1/09/2006 - On Getting My Head Chainsawed Off.
1/06/2006 - Maybe The Bluths Aren't Worth Saving.
1/05/2006 - CDP Playoff Preview.
1/04/2006 - Year Of The Snake.
1/03/2006 - Harry Potter-The IMAX Experience.
1/01/2006 - The Resolution.
1/01/2006 - Welcome To The CDP!

If any of those sound interesting to you, hit them up in the archives. This was quite cleansing for me; I think it's what a colonic might feel like. For you, it's like watching white paint dry.

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The CDP...Flawless!

Happy 300th Post to me. Start the conversation in the comments section; Lost Friday saves the day in 48 hours.

Comments:
If any of those sound interesting to you, hit them up in the archives.

As if most of the titles actually have anything to do with the posts. We all know better than that.
 
That's a good point. I educate first, then I entertain. It's a win/win.

This could be the longest, most pointless post ever, but I felt like archiving all of my posts in one place. Makes me feel all warm and boring inside. Besides, after 300 posts, you need a clip show every now and then.
 
There's no clips. It's just a list. Not even links. Just a list.

Lazy. Pointless. Classic CDP.
 
For all the hard work I put into this page, you have to zoom right in on that fact that I've been phoning it in since August of 2005. For shame.
 
Flawless...what a strange little man. It is getting more difficult for me to watch these pre-shows to American Idol because it is just plain sad. Why do mothers encourage their children when they are so horrible?
 
It's that kind of talk that proves you're my mom. I believe that untalented people should be kept out of public view, no questions asked. It only leads to heartbreak.

Flawless, on the other hand, was the total package.
 
Read in the paper that Jason Lee has chicken pox, and will be putting off taping new episodes of Earl until he's better.
However, it is on for another season.
Damn you, you TV whore!
 
Yeah, sorry about that.

I also saw that Steve Carrell is working on a new movie, so the Office will halt their season a little early. Damn. At least they're not cancelled.
 
And at least it was Carrell that cut short the schedule and not NBC. Hopefully he won't jump ship for a movie career. Even so, there have already been more episodes of the USA Office than the BBC Office.

I think Stanley's my favorite non-major character. I just about lost it when he says that "Mailboxes, Etcetera" line about Michael's bubblewrap cast. He's got that eyeroll thing perfected.
 
I like Ryan, mainly because of the fact that Michael clearly wants him to take Dwight's job. Also, his string cheese line in 'The Injury' was priceless.

Stanley's funny, too, because he's not the least bit intimidated by Michael, and is the only one who's not offended when Michael tells a racist joke. I like his 'Seen it, done it' attitude.
 
I've been taking whole bites of string cheese specifically because of that line. I wonder if that little conversation was improv'd, it looked so off-the-cuff.

Phyllis was one of the office workers on Arrested Development, I've seen her on at least one episode sitting at the conference table. Playing an office worker is right in her wheelhouse.
 
Correction. Playing an office worker on a multi-award winning, critically acclaimed comedy series is right in her wheelhouse.

I'm working on Lost Friday as we speak. That's the last I'll talk about Lost until tomorrow.
 
This is the lamest post ever. I have to scroll through a billion lines just to see that there's no new comments. Don't ever do this again.
 
Yeah, it's really annoying. Now that it's done, I'll never do it again.
 

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