Sunday, January 1

The Resolution.

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Oooh...it even has that 'New Blog Smell.' It's sort of like a cinnamon-pine; I hope you like it. Welcome to 2006, and welcome to the brand-spanking-new CDP!

Take a minute and look around. There's new links, new sections, a new introduction post and new comments. For my Obsessive-Compulsive friends, you'll notice that all of the links have been alphabetized (with the exception of 'Enjoy!'). To help eliminate BLAM!, you have to be registered to post, but it only takes a minute and will only affect a couple of you. I've been working on this for about a month (it's a custom template), so if you see anything that isn't working correctly, let me know and I'll fix it.

Speaking of BLAM!, it's been given a small Wiki Entry. I didn't put this there, so that's pretty cool, regardless of if I invented the term or not. I'm taking over the world, one made-up word at a time.

Let's get down to business, and talk New Year's Resolutions.

Most people sniff at the concept of a New Year's Resolution, simply because it's a tired and ultimately tragic concept. Every year, good-willing people promise themselves to lose weight and vacation in Hawaii, only to gain 20 pounds while watching Montel and shoveling Pringles into their yaps; sobbing in their hands and wearing a plastic lei. Just thinking about it makes me tear up.

I'm not one of those people. When I decide to do something, I do it. Each year since I graduated High School, I try to give myself one good challenge to hold myself to. In 2001, I swore off caffeine forever. In 2002, I swore off meat forever. In 2003, I...well, I can't really remember what I did that year, but in 2004 I graduated from college, got married and wrote a screenplay, so it all evens out. In 2005 I ran a 10k. These aren't light resolutions, mind you. These are all pretty much life-altering circumstances. I'm proud of myself when I do these things; they keep me stable and in control of my life. I like that.

Now that 2006 is here, I've been kicking around various ways to further improving myself. Culturally, I'm keeping sharp. I'm doing a lot more reading, I purchase over a hundred albums a year and I make certain that I know what's going on in the world. Living in the state Capitol, I'm able to keep a close eye on Wisconsin politics and progression, while enjoying some of the finest vegetarian restaurants in the world. I'm in a good place with all of that.

I consider myself a decent husband, friend and roommate. I take care of my half of the duties, and I kill spiders when they sneak in from the deck. I'm responsible enough with my money (the Missus and I just put a load of it towards student loans), and we're looking to get a new car by the end of the year. I'm in a good place with that as well, for the first time in a long time.

Besides alcohol (which I use responsibly nowadays), I take in nothing to alter my consciousness; not even medication unless I'm quite ill or in pain. I've always seen drugs as a good escape for people who couldn't make sense or keep up with the earth; or those simply too distanced from it to care. Of course, anyone who smokes in this day an age is a weak idiot, plain and simple.

I have my vices, though, and that's what I like to focus on. In the past, I tackled my carnivorous, hyperactive, lazy and socially bankrupt ways, and always won. I still have a long way to go.

First and foremost, I've got anxiety issues (what? you do?). Just last week, I was at a very busy mall with the Missus, and she noticed that my hands were shaking like leaves. I'm actually surprised she didn't notice that 6 years ago when we met. My neurosis isn't bad enough to make her life miserable, but I'd sure like to cut down on some of the annoying crap that I do during the day (you remember the list I made, don't you?). A lot of what I do actually helps me out. It allows me to keep a clean house and a decent work environment, and I always stay on task and refuse to waste time. Between you and me, I don't really want to get rid of that. That resolution will have to wait until I'm washing my hands 36 times a day

Secondly, I curse way more than I should. I try to keep the CDP as clean as possible, because I have a certain image to uphold and I don't want to embarrass my Mother. Get me alone with the Missus or some friends, however, and I lose all coherency of the English language and let the obscenities fly. This is not good, and I will be taking strides to see to it that I tone it down for 2006. I plan on doing it in stages. Every week, I will eliminate one swear from my vocabulary. Eventually, I'll run out of nasty things to say, and I'll be free.

The main reason that the cursing thing has bubbled back into my thoughts is that I'm playing video games again. The John Madden football franchise has been with me since 1992, which means that it's basically the longest friendship I've ever had with anyone. Old Man Madden's never let me down yet, but we have our spats when it comes to winning and losing football games.

Next to driving, nothing makes me angrier than whizzing a video game down my leg. Ever since I was a child, I've been finding new and creative ways to curse and smash a controller against a stucco wall. Now that these damages come straight out of my pockets, I need to learn to lighten up a tick. The first step is to stop swearing; the anger management thing should all even out later.

I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing with that. It's an official resolution now, so I'm sticking to it.

Secondly, and this is sort of a generic and typical resolution, but I really want to get more in shape than I am now. Sure, I eat right, can run a few miles at a time and fill out a small t-shirt like nobody's business, but there's a lot more bone than muscle on my arms. I looked at myself in the mirror the other day, and started saying positive things to the reflection, like I do most mornings:

"You look amazing."
"You're going to knock 'em dead at work today."
Don't forget to flush, handsome."

Reaffirmation or not, I've got small arms, and they should be meatier. My legs and torso are okay, but I need larger arms to complete the package (heck, a new face wouldn't hurt, either). When I played the drums constantly and slung 50-pound bags of dog food over my shoulders 8 hours a day, I was packing some serious cannons (mm-hmm, ask anyone). Now, not so much. This doesn't seem like too hard of a resolution. All I need to do is keep doing what I'm doing (check!), and just spend a little more time lifting heavy things (and mate!).

My goals are officially in order. I feel better already, and that's half the battle. Yo, Joe!

Let me know what you like/dislike about the new page, and share your resolutions with the crew. Thank you for choosing the CDP in 2006.

Comments:
I kissed my computer screen at midnight.
 
Thanks to your CDP Welcome post, my goal in 2006 is to take in more powdered astronaut drinks.
 
You're not going to start going on the today show saying, "Matt, Matt, Matt you're glib. You don't know about psychiatry like I do." Are you? I think it did Brooke well to take those drugs.
Also, my OCD has noticed that your "The CDP Network" are also not alphabatized. Sorry!
Happy New Year.
 
Oops, I spelled alphabetized wrong. I signed in as anonymous and it didn't ask any questions.
 
Powdered astronaut drinks are really the only way to go. They make you smart.

The 'CDP Network' is also not alphabetized; as it is listed by a very intricate and specific formula. I can't really get into it right now, but I can assure you it needs to be that way.

Anon, That entire first sentence made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
 
No, it's true, I heard it from this very handsome young doctor on Oprah.
 
I saw that episode. At the end of the show, Oprah gave him a car.

I shut off the anonymous comments. BLAM! may have made me a wildly famous internet phenomenon, but I still don't like it.
 
I was referring to your "Besides alcohol" paragraph. Didn't you see Tom Cruise on the today show?
 
He said he was some kind of scientist.
 
One of my secret resolutions was to permanently damage the part of my brain that attempted to comprehend Tom Cruise. He surpassed Michael Jackson in weirdness sometime last year.

I'm also doing everything I can to forget how Dick Clark looked last night. I never really liked the guy, but that was pretty depressing. Anyone else see that?
 
Give him a break, the guy's gotta be like 900 by now.
 
He's about 78, but was fine until he stroked out last year. You're right though, even for a guy who's learning to walk and talk again, he's in better shape than most guys I know that are his age.

It's cuz' he's a robot.
 
What did you guys end up doing for New Years? I worked and didn't make a whole lot of money, and then Ben had to wake me up right before his watch turned to 12:00 and then kissed me a bunch of times. Two minutes later he woke me up asking me, "Did Dick Clark have a stroke or what?"

I didn't make any New Years resolutions, but getting professional help would be up at the top of the list of possible resolutions.
 
Your blog is beautiful by the way!
 
Hey, thanks for the compliment; I really appreciate it. I like the sidebar stars the best.

Honestly, we didn't do that much on New Years Eve. I cleaned the house, I think we went out to eat and then relaxed in front of the TV. Tell Ben that Dick Clark kind of threw me for a loop as well.

I won't tell you weather or not you should make resolutions, but here's hoping that whatever you do, it makes you happy. My 'no cursing/bigger arms' combo has yet to take effect, but it darn sure will.
 
I don't make resolutions because I just end up resenting them anyway.
 
Good call. I've set my goals a bit low this year, for that very same reason.
 

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