Sunday, February 12

State Of The CDP Speech - 2006.

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(The original CDP format, February-May 2004.)

The CDP Is 2 Years Old.

Really? Two years? 300-some posts? You'd think I would have gotten the hang of this by now.

First off, many thanks to the almost 70,000 people that have dropped by and said hello over the past two years. I don't know what you expect to find here, but I appreciate that you're looking and I hope you get some enjoyment out of it. I like to write and my ego has its own orbiting moon, so attention and traffic is always welcome. Your clicks make me strong.

I feel like I'm in a good place with the page. I like the way it looks, the traffic grows a little more every month, and I think my content is much better than it used to be. Sure, if you want to dig around in the 2004 archives, you can find out for yourself, but you should probably just take my word for it. Seriously.

Looking back just to the start of 2006, I've laid down over 30 good-sized posts in a little under 40 days. Not only is that a huge amount of life-changing, hilarious and absolutely free entertainment, it also equals a lot of time and effort on my part. I put a lot into this page, strictly because I like to write and be creative and current. Luckily for me, it doesn't keep me from my hobbies, because it encompasses everything that occupies my spare time regardless, with the exception of killing the homeless and grifting the blind.

I made several changes to the page at the start of the year, and I'll continue to make changes until it's just the way I likes it. If I can somehow find a way to increase traffic more, I think I could do a lot with the place. Change to an independent host. Start making videos and animations; expand my creativity a bit. Sell ad space and merch; perhaps even make money off of it(?). You know, once I actually start giving the people what they want and all.

We're light years away from that transition (2008?), but I think it could be possible in the future. Over year 1, I increased my traffic from 10 hits a month to 1,500. Over year 2, I increased it from 1,500 to 10,000. Who knows? Maybe by the end of 2006, I'll reach over 50,000 people a month. I gain ground every week, and it's 100% relative to how much I put into it.

Never mind that pipe dream right now.

In honor of the CDP's second birthday, fill up the comments section with me. There's plenty to talk about. Arrested Development. The Olympics. Lost. Dick Chaney shooting a guy in the chest. Arrested Development. Oh, and congratulate the CDP on two years of outstanding online service, if you have the time.

You realize of course, that I represent about 25,000 of those hits.

"You keep forgetting to say 'away.'"

"Let's freak them out."

Operation Hot Brother

"It's so nice that we can talk like this!"

"George Bush doesn't care about black puppets."

"My name.... is.... Judge."

William Hung and His Hung Jury

"Imagine the impact if that's what came on when I first turned on the TV." (I loved this jab at Fox)

I think I've changed my mind about AD. While I wish it could have finished out the third season, I think it'd be better for it to not get picked up. It's just about perfect the way it is right now. I can't wait to see what Mitch Hurwitz comes up with next. I wish he would team up with Paul Feig (Freaks and Geeks creator, who directed a number of eps of AD and The Office).

So, about the whole Cheney shooting a man thing... Isn't it weird that with all the security personnel surrounding Cheney, a man with a gun could get within firing range of the VP without anyone knowing he was there?
Happy Birthday CDP, you've given me a lot to laugh about.
Also, the daughter of the man that was shot said that her Dad looks like he has chicken pox because he was also hit in the face.I can see all the cartoons now.
You couldn't pay me to go Quail hunting with Dick Chaney. I'm not to be trusted with a rifle, especially around the insanely evil.

With a little help from the IMDB, here's a big list of AD jokes from Friday:

1. The GOB/Ann secret.
2. ‘Burn Bush.’
3. Condeleeza Rice Lane, Cheney Expressway, Halliburton Drive.
5. George bush doesnt care about black puppets.
6. My name is Judge.
7. Nellie’s list of don’ts.
8. Annyong’s return.
9. The finale coming back around to the start of the series. (They re-referenced EVERYTHING.)
10. “You forgot to say away.”
11. ‘Head first into second base, just like Pete Rose’
12. ‘You think she turns illusions for free?’
13. Franklin the pimp.
14. George Michael punching GOB.
15. ‘Let Buster die.’
16. The empty kitchen cabinets.
17. The whole mock trial. That’s good satire.
18. ‘I’m being replaced?’ (Cut to billboard of Skating with Celebrities)
19. “Leave the fruits with the vegetables.”
20. The secret room, specifically what goes on in it.
21. ‘Fossils were buried by the Jews as a prank.’
22. The SCRAP booking room.
23. The joke about Nellie ‘filling three openings’ was filthy and hilarious.
24. Michael pulls out the blueprint and GOB makes Franklin lean in and study it.
25. “And there you see Maeby coming out of Lindsay's third base."
26. "Let's see what the other guys are up to…Nothing here…Or here."
27. The nuclear warhead was a Homefill.
28. Any joke made by Ron Howard.
29. Saddam: “I’d like to keep the house for another season.”
30. When Buster cuts two of his fake fingers off at the dinner.
31. The catering was a Skip’s Scrambler.
32. Maeby running out on the fake wedding, and the priest turning it into a Bar Mitzvah.
33. “53 weeks.”
34. “I always thought he lived in a lighthouse.”
35. George Sr’s. “Black Friday” scene.
36. The “Veronica Mars” joke.
37. “Conslutant.”
38. In "For British Eyes Only.” George Sr. claims that he thought that Saadam Hussein was the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. In "Exit Strategy,” when Michael, Buster, and Gob meet the different Saadams, one of them is played by the soup nazi.
39. “Mr F!” (That was retar…misguided. This is different.) “Different!”
40. The Iraqi’s trying to get GOB to escape. “Aren't you gonna close the doors! COME ON!"
41. The model home in Cabo.
42. The watermark on the marriage certificate.
43.“Isn’t he Alpaca?”

I know what you mean about maybe not reviving this show. Let's put it this way. If it wasn't picked up by another network, I'd still be happy with what it accomplished. Mitchell Hurwitz is an absolute genius, and I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.
Happy 2nd birthday CDP! You have a quality blog here that appeals to many on an intellectual level. I am always highly amused with your subtle humor and wit. The way you craft each post is almost artistic in its level of skill. You have tailored your blog to suit an intelligent audience that appreciates the massive effort you put into each post. Great job.
You will now be canceled.
Amen, brother. Thanks for the props.

I came to the conclusion today that Arrested Development was a show for intelligent people who liked intelligent jokes about some of the biggest taboos imaginable.

Anyone can make a poop joke, but AD wrote a poop joke that would make you really think about it.

I'll be very happy if I see another show like it in my lifetime.
It's a sad day for America when we can't get a poop joke to think about anymore.
I'll just have to watch more BBC.

Speaking of, Have you seen that show Coupling? Good Show!
Happy Birthday! I first came to your site a few months ago because of a reference made on the OceanicFlight815 Message Boards. Your LOST Fridays are great, but I keep coming back for the witty commentary regarding everything from great TV shows and current events to your neighbors' sex life...ha ha! Keep up the good work and I'll keep passing the word around.
Btw...HUGE "Coupling" fan, HUGE. Of course I'm referring to the U.S. version....kidding. The brits are so much funnier, and they don't have to deal with our network censors.
Thanks for the kind words, Godot. It's times like this when I remember why I do this kind of thing in the first place; instant gratification and feverish ego-stroking. I really appreciate it.

I'll be honest about 'Coupling.' The first I had ever heard of it was when the US version showed up. At the time, I didn't have BBC, so I wasn't hip to the jive, so to speak. Eventually, I found out that it was a remake of a far superior British show, but by then I couldn't find it anywhere.

This troubles me.

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