Wednesday, May 3

Don't Make Me Turn This Blog Around.

Now With New Haircut!

I swear to God, if you kids don't cut out the horseplay, I'll pull right the hell over and beat you to death with my travel mug.

Here are 6 things to shut you up. If you stay quiet for ten minutes, I'll let you smell my fingers after I fill up the car.

Don't Look At It Directly!
Oooh, The Rear Angle.

1. Here's the Missus' fly new ride. It's a 2001 Ford Focus that rocks so hard, it blows the clothing right off of anyone in its presence. Why, just yesterday she sped past me on her way to work and I was left dangling and confused in the carport. She loves the way it handles and maneuvers; I love that it's a car that runs on gas. She likes it. I like it. We're happy and wish not to discuss anything more on the subject of car accidents and thousands upon thousands of dollars. Please respect my wishes, or I will cut you.

Magical Grid Of Bad Emo Hair.

2. Always bringing you the latest in tired Internet Phenomena and MySpace bashing, I present to you the Magical Grid Of Bad Emo Hair. Knowledge is power, and someday we can eradicate this injustice plaguing the youth of America. Emo hair is the new mullet, kids. Get off the train before they start making fun of you in beer commercials. I got a haircut and dye job yesterday, and I look so rad that both my cats instantly went into heat. Rolling about and mewing and whatnot (see top photo).

Best Top 5 Ever?

3. Best AI Top Five ever? Consider the following. I've graded the previous top 5's on a scientific scale that measures various levels of suckitude. Here are my findings*:

Season 1:
RJ Helton - Bad.
Tamyra Gray - Good.
Nikki McKibbin - Bad.
Justin Guarini - Bad.
Kelly Clarkson - Good.

Season 2:
Trenyce - Bad.
Joshua Gracin - Bad.
Kimberley Locke - Good.
Clay Aiken - Good.
Ruben Studdard - Good.

Season 3:
George Huff - Bad.
LaToya London - Good.
Jasmine Trias - Bad.
Diana DeGarmo - Bad.
Fantasia Barrino - Bad.

Season 4:
Scott Savol - Bad.
Anthony Federov - Bad.
Vonzell Solomon - Good.
Bo Bice - Good.
Carrie Underwood - Good.

Season 5:
Taylor Hicks - Good.
Katharine McPhee - Good.
Paris Bennett - Good.
Elliott Yamin - Good.
Chris Daughtry - Good.


*Sources are available upon request.

The Hanso Foundation - We're Not Evil.

4. Speaking of TV, there's some good stuff on tonight:

7:00 - 8:00c - House (FOX)
8:00 - 8:30c - American Idol (FOX)
8:00 - 9:00c - Lost (ABC)

House concludes its two-part episode tonight, and American Idol narrows down to the final four. Lost arrives with 'Two For The Road,' the first of the final four episodes of the season. Obviously, you can count on the CDP for your Idol recap tomorrow, immediately followed by an all-new Lost Friday. Tell your friend.

By the way, I got the Hanso image from the redesigned Hanso Foundation website, which is more than a little terrifying. If this isn't good insight into season three, I don't know what is.

5. Here are the last 10 albums I've listened to:

1. Saves The Day - Sound The Alarm
2. Sage Francis - A Healthy Distrust
3. Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
4. Maritime - We The Vehicles
5. Morrissey - Ringleader Of The Tormentors
6. Michael Jackson - The Essential Michael Jackson
7. The Beatles - Abbey Road
8. Hot Chip - Coming On Strong
9. Polysics - Polysics Or Die!!!
10. The Suicide Machines - Destruction By Definition

YES! Almost A Strike!

6. I went bowling with co-workers last week. I bowled a 130, which is pretty good for me. You can tell I was pleased.

There you have it. Sound off in the comments section. Get out of my Blog.

TOMORROW - KATHARINE McPHEE WATCH.

THE DAY AFTER THAT - LOST FRIDAY.


Comments:
I'm picking Paris or (God forgive me) Katharine to get booted tonight. Like I keep reminding people, I've been about 99% this season, so go with the CDP if you're in a pool or something.
 
If you stay quiet for ten minutes, I'll let you smell my fingers after I fill up the car.


This made me laugh till my gut hurt.
 
I wonder if that Hanso website stuff is really developed by anyone that has anything to do with writing the show, or if that's done by their marketing team or whatever. It's well done, but I wonder how much it really has to do with the story.

In other TV news, Veronica Mars has had a good second season thus far. Lots of interesting plot twists, and it does a good job of mixing the serial drama with subplots that begin and end within the episode. It's too bad it has to go up against Lost. They rerun it each week on other days, which is good for people with Tivo, though I guess Nielsen ratings don't count Tivo views, which is dumb.

I'm going to see Eisley tonight in Tulsa, should be a fun time.
 
Considering the cost of gas, it's really quite a luxury.

Yeah, the Hanso website is very well done, and if it follows the storyline correctly, it's a sure sign that the experiments are still alive and kicking. Spooky.

I know what you mean about Veronica Mars. Lesser networks and cable cannels have some really good stuff that gets cast aside by the heavier hitters. Because of the traffic jam that is Wednesday night, I've taken to taping things when they re-air, because the schedule is packed. For example, Mythbusters and Dateline are both on when Lost and AI are on, and I want to see them all, so I have to tape them when they re-air at 2am or on CNBC.

I heard that Neilsen was going to start accepting ratings from TiVo'ed shows. This may honestly change the sort of shows that get to stick around. It's a Godsend for these 'cast aside' or 'critical darling' shows that we all love so very much.

Enjoy Eisley. Let me know if they are as skinny in person as they are on TV.
 
I don't know about Mythbusters, they've been drinking too much vodka lately.

As for AI Elliot is still the most vunerable. He'll be thanking his lucky stars if he makes. He gave two rather average performances. The only reason he has a chance is because he was followed by several other average performances and one rather bad one.
 
Have you ever met anyone with a Neilson box. I have no faith whatsoever in extrapolated rating systems. Who do they give these monitors to anyway. I'm assuming they have to have a stable household to avoid moving a monitor from apartment to apartment. So that pretty much rules out anyone in their twenties. No wonder smart comedies and drama have the equivilent lifespans of tse tse flys.

Althougth American Idol has tried to break through that barrier by invoking a call in system. They are also skewed because one teenage girl can hit redial 800 times in 2 two hours. I wonder what the votes would look like if it were limited to 1 or 2 calls per household.
 
Mythbusters might be running out of myths, but they can always just blow stuff up.

I'm thinking Paris tonight, but Elliott is always in danger for one reason or another. After Katharine's first song, I was convinced that the only way she was going to stick around was if Paris fell off the stage.

I've never seen anyone with a Neilsen box, but if I did, I'd tell them to stop watching bad shows.

If AI had a 'one vote per person' policy, I actually think more people would vote, I know I would. Why not?
 
Are Eisley those weird, skinny siblings that don't sing very well?

What do you mean Scott Savol-bad??? We loved that man! You're drunk. This whole establishment is drunk. I quit!
 
I reckon you need to have a caption contest with that picture of you raising your fist in triumph at the bowling alley...
 
Nielson's apparently started taking into consideration TiVo a few months ago. It is based on a sliding scale when you watch the episode. Live, w/in 24 hours, w/in 7 day. Any thing after that isn't counted. It isn't making a huge impact on the market, though, as only 3% of homes have this type of equipment.

Again, i don't mean to plug my friend's site, but thecoconutinternet.com is a forum i'm on and i've got a thread all about the Nielson ratings in the reference section. One of the guys on the site used to have a box and worked for them for a while.

It also has all the latest on the "Interactive Lost Game"

Oh, and the site has a cool name. It brings to mind pleasant memories of Ranch Dressing disorders.

Nice car.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
I waffled a bit on the Scott Savol decision, then came to the conclusion that he wouldn't have made it very far this season, and also fell off the face of the planet after his season. Therefore, he's 'bad,' even though I rooted for him like crazy from a purely underdog perspective.

I like the 'raising fist in triumph' photo because not only was it not a strike, it looks like my wrist is horribly broken.

Godot, thanks for the TiVo information, I will check out your friend's page as soon as I'm done here. You're right, that is a funny name. Perhaps I should change my name to 'Coconut Dance Party' every Friday.
 
Are Eisley those weird, skinny siblings that don't sing very well?

You must be thinking of the Olson twins.
 
Or Hanson.



Oh, I'm going to catch hell for that.
 
I really wish I'd thought of that. As I was typing that, I was thinking, "This could be cleverer."
 
By the end of the night, I'm going to wish you had thought of that, too. Please call an ambulance in advance for me.

I'm basically throwing myself under the bus on this one, but have you checked out We The Vehicles by Maritime? It consists of ex-members of The Promise Ring, including the lisping guy who had a brain tumor but is okay now.
 
Even though this is the best American Idol finalist we've had, I still think Bo Bice could beat them all down with a mic stand.
 
I also think that Mr. Bice would win in a battle royale, but maybe not a singing contest. I think that Chris Daughtry has a bigger range and mainstream appeal than Bo.

That being said, I'd rather have a beer with Bo.
 
I checked out thecoconutinternet.com BLAM!
very cool discussion site. Hard core too. The Hanso site was really strange. I wonder who cut the musical score. I kept waiting for Phil Collins to lead in. I'm with Godot about it though. I don't know how much it has to do with the show yet. it appears to be a diversion for fans to play with. Although several directors are "away" for a couple of weeks. So if any new Others pop up in the next four weeks we may get a better idea.

I can feel it coming in the air tonight... Hanso...
 
I'm of the current assumption that it exists mainly for the Interactive Game. If this sort of stuff starts affecting what's happening on the island, I might have to hire a small staff of people to watch the episodes around-the-clock for me.

You know, Phil Collins wrote that song after he saw one of the castaways drown.
 
I hope you think of me when you start hiring people to watch TV.
 
I don't know if someone already posted this, but try signing up for the news letter on the Hanso Foundation website. It's freaky.
 
Mmmmm....getting paid to watch TV....

Speaking of Hanso, I'm assuming everyone saw the commercial they snuck in last night? I'll talk aboot it tomorrow; it's the same video that's on the Hanso page.
 
Love the board of bad emo hair.
 
Ooooh, burn. He's going to kill you.

I actually forgot about that photo; I was more referring to the fact that I sported the emo hair for quite some time. It's like the chicken pox; once you get it, you can't get it again.

Is there an actual name for this hairstyle? Missus? Wanna chime in on this one?
 
Yea, I'm pretty sure he will kill me.

In the latest Alloy news, we haven't heard from our drummer in over 3 weeks. Left multiple messages, and she just won't answer her phone or call back. Not the first time this has happened... just wasn't this long before. The only excuse I'll take at this point is if she's dead. Either way, we need a new drummer, and are having a hard time finding one. Cancelled the May 27 show, and will need to be replaced for the June 10 show. Crappy.
 
That's not cool. You can't have people disappearing from gigs like that. Loyalty does a good band make.

I'd totally help you out, but I'm a little rusty on the drums, live in Madison and probably aren't good enough. Apart from that though, I'm there for you.
 

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