Friday, June 30

"Put Your Shoes On, We're At Grandma's."

CDP Headquarters.
(Me and the Missus crunch some numbers at CDP Headquarters.)

Yeah, I've got nothing today.

Because of this, I'm opening up the comment section to anything you want to talk about. 4th of July plans? Vacations? Stuffing corpses in your crawl space? Sound off, and I'll be back with new stuff next week. If you're feeling so inclined, come up with a good caption for this photo.

MONDAY:
10 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE.

Comments:
I might be going to St. Nazianz this weekend. I assume you know what that is.
 
Klan convention?
 
I'm sorry, that was way off. I meant 'Klan Konvention.'
 
I thought you were down with haunted-type places in the area...guess not.

This site has some information and pictures.
 
Check out my Wiki link for the Waverly Hills Sanatorium, that should tickle your fancy. Have a good time.
 
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.

I didn't write this, of course, I just thought it fit the picture.
 
Just remember, your iPod has more memory than everything in this room, including the two employees.
 
"You can pay me in stock..."
 
Out of all the more popular Haunting websites I've been on, I've never heard of St. Nazianz. Looks amazing!
 
Me and the Missus got waylaid on that side of the lake a few years ago, and it was pretty spooky.
 
Apropos of nothing, I just found out I'm listed on imdb.com. I'm one step closer to global domination.
 
You played a corpse in a movie? And you never blogged about it? Are you insane?

I demand to know everything about this.
 
Yup, I was a corpse. There's a fantastic local radio talk show here in Portland (I recommend visiting www.rickemerson.com) and downloading some old show archives because it really is like these comment threads, not horrible "wacky" DJ banter).

I won a contest to be in a short film he was doing. So I got all dolled up with a massive gunshot wound to the head for my big debut. I haven't blogged about it because #1 it was a few years ago, and #2 I try to keep the ol' blog family friendly so my aunts and grandparents don't log on to see a grotesque and graphic depiction of my untimely demise.

Anyway, I don't know if I can html clickable links here, so copy and paste those below. Again, some people might find them a bit disturbing, so good luck with that. (P.S. - the colors of the blood look odd because the photos were taken with a regular flash camera...it looked better than it does here. Also, the brains were made of blackberries and raspberries. Mmmm...brain...


http://www.toddwerkhoven.com/~todd/corpse.jpg

http://www.toddwerkhoven.com/~todd/corpse2.jpg

http://www.toddwerkhoven.com/~todd/rc-poster.gif
 
Well then. Leave it to the corpse to kill a thread...
 
I also like how in the picture the woman is apparently delivering a cake to the man's desk. As it should be.






/is this thing on?
 
*sigh*

And my first link above should be:

http://www.toddwerkhoven.com/~todd/corpse1.jpg
 
That's pretty sweet.
 
And how come no one knows how to make actual hyperlinks here? How are you guys allowed to have websites?

HTML 101
 
Todd, that's amazing. I'm planning on using one of those photos to plaster a CDP logo over in the future. Thanks for sharing.

Can you blame Todd for not putting up a link? The man got shot in the head, for Christ's sake! (He also has blueberries for brains, from what I've been told.)

Aaron, at least our websites have content on them. BURN!
 
Wow... to be the CDP logo. Another thing to scratch of my "must do before I die" list. I can also give you some of the "out-take" Poloroids from when I was photographed for my Newsweek article. I'm riding this train until it dies, baby...

And as far as links go, I wasn't sure if you could do full html in these comments, so I didn't bother re-looking up how to do it just to test. What am I, your monkey?

Answer: Yes, I am your monkey.
 
What? Newsweek? This is getting ridiculous. I need details.

I've always wanted to be murdered in a movie. I remember that Troma was doing a contest a few years ago that was very similar. I can't say I've always wanted to be in Newsweek, but that's sort of a given.

Don't worry about the HTML. I do the same thing, and not because I'm deficient in knowledge. I do it because I'm lazy, and I won't be a Nazianz about it or anything.
 
The only bummer about being the corpse is that I wasn't actually shot in the movie. It was just shown as a still picture in a newspaper at the end of the movie. I guess we all have to start somewhere...
 
That's a shame, but you're right; making your way through the ranks will just strengthen your abilities to play a dead guy.
 
And I did have an opportunity to really hone my "dead guy stare." My planned career path is to play a photo of a dead guy (accomplished), and then move up to actually being killed on screen with a really moving death scene, and then being killed on screen with a really moving death scene, dying, and then coming back as a wacky zombie that uses sassy one-liners before eating his victims' brains. Something along the lines of, "If I only had a brain.....with some barbeque sauce and a side of 'taters!"



I'm still working on it.
 
We should get together and write a screenplay; we know exactly what the people want.

"How about a ghost...that wins the lottery!"
 
"Then the ghost discovers that money isn't everything and decides to become a young detective who plays by his own rules. He is to be paired up with a crusty, older partner just 2 weeks away from his retirement. Thus, hilarity ensues.

Also, some sort of precocious child is involved to teach us all a lesson in caring. And one of the minor Wayens brothers will be involved."

 
If anyone, anyone goes to see Little Man, scholars will have to re-write the Bible, specifically all that stuff about God existing.
 
I'm sorry to inform you, but it appears that the colonel has been murdered.
 
Entertainment Weekly had a write-up about the Wayans. They're actually doing quite well for themselves, even given the crappy nature of most of their projects. White Girls was very profitable, for instance. Who'd have thought? They've got an admirable do-it-yourself work ethic and they keep it in the family. That said, I'll stab pencils into my eyeballs before I'll see Little Man.
 
I read that EW article. I did admire their work ethic, but it did make me sad that they can be so successful. "In Living Color" was fantastic, and there's something to be said about "Scary Movie," but it pains me to see that a movie like White Chicks could ever be profitable. And a pox on your house if anyone sees Little Man. Or a vex. Whichever is worse.

And although it sounds crazy, Marlon Wayans was fantastic in "Requiem For a Dream." There's so much potential for their little clan, let's hope they use their powers for good instead of evil.
 
I agree, they are quite the telented clan, and have been so for quite some time. Perhaps they are pulling an Andy Kaufman-type stunt with their last couple movies; some sort of consumer satire that's beyond all of us?

No, they just know what makes money for the smallest amount of work. It's a shame, really.
 

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