Saturday, September 2

CDP Top 30 Posts Of All Time - #27.

CDP Top 30 Posts Of All Time - #27.
"The Price I Pay."
(Originally published 10-10-04. Posted early due to online issues.)

"I hope you're ready for a little free-floating hostility." - George Carlin.

With the election reaching a fever pitch, I've had little to no time to spend on anything else but my intense hatred and disdain for George W. Bush. Sadly, this has taken away from what I usually spend most of my time on.

Hating other people.

During the course of a normal day, I will openly vent and rant about no less than 30 people I cannot stand. My life span has been greatly shortened due to stress and ulcers caused by the utter disgust and vile manner in which certain people live their lives. Circumstances being what they currently are, these people have gotten off the hook temporarily.

But today, I'm staying up late to pummel a specific person who's responsible for this migraine headache I've been suffering all weekend. His name?

Mark Thomas Kluepfel.

You probably don't know him, but I would willingly donate my teeth to the homeless for the chance to put this guy in the Hospital for 23 years. Here's the backstory:

Mark is the lead singer of the "hot" new band, "Action Action". They are a mix of new wave, dance and dark, melodic rock. Their new video and single are making the rounds on Fuse, MTV and Music Choice. Here's a picture of the band, proving just how new wave they are.

You'd think I'd be happy. Another new wave dance band for me to spend my hard-earned cash on, right? Not this time, jerk ass. You see, me and Mark go back 5 years. If you learn anything from what you read today, understand that this guy is a total fraud, a hypocrite, and a money-motivated musician who desperately needs to feel like he's part of what's popular. And he's a real asshole, too.

I saw the commercial for their new album on TV yesterday. The voice-over tells us that "If you're a fan of The Faint, Interpol, Franz Ferdinand or The Killers, you'll love Action Action! "Wow!" I thought. "They must sound just like all the popular bands today! What a coincidence!" With new wave and dance making a big comeback this year, it's a good plan to start a band that rips them off, and then drops their names to sell your unoriginal CD. I was already upset. But let's go back a couple years, shall we?

In 2001, Mark was in a band called "The Reunion Show". My band was privileged enough to share the stage with these guys a time or 2. The Reunion Show was a keyboard-driven ego fest, with some emo lyrics to satisfy the trend at the time. When he wasn't singing about how much of a pioneering quartet his band was, he was whining about how hard life was. Here's a picture of him, proving just how emo he was.

Mark's job was the lead singer. He was also the keyboardist. And the guitar player. If you're wondering how he manages to do all this, the answer is that he doesn't. Usually, a Reunion Show show was Mark running from instrument to instrument, and throwing a tantrum when things didn't work. He swore, he broke things, he put on a terrible show, and then had the balls to act like an ass to all the fans that had come to see him fail. I've met the guy no less than 4 times, and he's never been cordial to me or my friends. That's 3 times too many to be a fluke.

Much like Action Action, The Reunion Show jumped on the wagon a little too late, just as the trend was dying down. Since they weren't cool anymore, and not selling records, they called it quits. Here's a quote from Mark concerning the breakup:

"When the record was going to be released, there was a lot of buzz, and it just didn't do as well as expected. We're watching our friends sell- at that point I think Taking Back Sunday broke like a hundred thousand records, and we're like, Holy s**t!"

Because they didn't sell a hundred thousand records with their tired sound, they quit. Let's back up further still, shall we?

In 1999, Ska was big. Kids filled sweaty clubs to see Mustard Plug, Reel Big Fish and the like. With the mainstream success of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones and No Doubt, people were starting Ska bands with no real affliction to the genre whatsoever.

Guess who was first in line?

Mark was the lead singer of Step Lively. They were a rocking ska band with rocking ska lyrics. Here's a picture of him without pants on.

Does this look like the Depeche Mode wanna-be singer of Action Action? In the Step Lively bio, he lists his influences as "Foo Fighters + Weezer."

Listen, it breaks down like this. I've watched this guy genre-jump and band jump for no reason other than album sales and popularity for 5 years. Musical tastes may change, but to pretend like you've always been a poetry-writing electro-pop superstar is a completely different topic. I dislike him because of his attitude, his total lack of competent musical talent, and his inability to be loyal to anything but himself. He's not a very nice person, and he's driven by anything but music.

Some people may say that I'm jealous because he's good-looking.

I think not.

Is this a overly-harsh lashing out at someone who barely deserves it? Perhaps, but consider this point that perfectly sums up my argument, which I've greatly shortened to spare you readers.

The title of the new Action Action CD is "Don't Cut Your Fabric To This Year's Fashion." This is an obvious reference to people jumping onto trends and popular culture. It is also a complete crock of egotistical crap, and a blatant lie. For an obvious knock-off artist playing in another knock-off band, the sheer amount of blind narcissism it takes to say something like that should make you sick.

You can e-mail Mark at ( Please tell him what you think. I sure did.
ou can e-mail me at Tell me how shallow I am. Goodnight.

(NOTE - If you think he used to be good-looking, he has a beard now. Imagine an egg with a beard, and you'll get a pretty good idea of what he looks like. I tried to find a good picture, but even the Internet has standards.)

I still remember seeing Step Lively at the Concert Cafe/Rock and Roll High School in February of 1999. I had a crush on that guy and I had them autograph my CD. I then offered them my sister's apartment as a place to crash as a guise to my attempt at losing my virginity to him/all of them. It didn't work; I was rudely rejected. I held that against him for years as I bopped around listening to that CD, and finally got my vengence recently by completely forgetting about them and the CD's whereabouts.

It felt really good.
'Atta girl. We both have had first-hand experience with his loser-dom.

This post is almost two years old now, but I still hate that guy with the flaming intensity of a thousand suns. He's a major-league weenbag, and I hope that more Action Action fans see this post now than they would have in 2004.
Post a link on their myspace page. I'm sure you'll have a ton of angry fans bitching you out. It would be hilarious.

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