Monday, November 6

CDP Wayback Machine - Food Court Edition.

Wisconsin is for lovers.

Once again, it's time to step into the CDP Wayback Machine. Please remove your shoes and wipe that dumbass grin off your face. Seriously, Frank. You're creeping me out and I won't ask again.

In the spirit of starting the Holiday season earlier and earlier every year, let's check out a CDP Classic from 1 year ago this week...

November 13, 2005 - "Let's Go To The Mall."

In current news, CDP Headquarters just received a huge box of merch which we will be giving away during our 3rd Annual CDP Sweeps Month this December. Stick around to find out how you can get your mitts on FREE CDP shirts, stickers, magnets, buttons and more! Otherwise, you can do it the non-loser way and order your goods from the CDP Webstore.

On Tuesday, Guitar Hero II is released, and you won't be hearing from me for quite some time. In fact, I should be grabbing my sleeping bag and heading to the nearest Best Buy, post-haste.

On Wednesday, you can say hello and have a beer with me at the High Noon Saloon in Madison, Wisconsin, where I will be a celebrity judge for the 2006 Funniest Comedian In Madison competition. The show starts at 7pm, and I should be arrested at around 9.

On Thursday, the CDP's brand new computer is being delivered. Please don't tell my mother, or anyone else for that matter. It's everything I've ever needed, at a price I can't quite afford.

A brand-new Lost Friday rounds out the week. Let's see how much of that Fark traffic sticks around; I got 5,000 hits in the last three days.

Before I head out today, me and the Missus were on national television for about 2 seconds last Friday. What was captured was a look of complete confusion on the Missus, and a typical moment of raw, unrestrained sexuality from yours truly. Let's go to the tape, shall we?

(I'm not too hard to spot.)

(If this isn't the funniest photo you've seen all day, you might want to consider not coming here anymore.)

Sound off in the comments section, and enjoy your Monday.

What computer?
Great pics, great blog, as usual.

I come here feeling so very adequate, and leave know.
Nice fist pumping!! It really set you apart from the crowd, not that the button down shirt didn't already do that. I've always wondered why more people don't dress up for public events.
"What computer?"


Thanks for the kind words, Raif. If I can make just one person feel depressed during the course of a day, then I've done my job. God, am I tired and lonely.

Blustacon, I'm in agreement with you. I mean, didn't these people know they were going to be on TV? Course, I dress like that all the time; maybe if they knew I was coming they would have made an effort.
I should also mention that you might want to vote on Tuesday, as well.
You sure love wrestling.
I was trying to get on TV.
Finally got around to watching the show this morning, when I should have been working.

I saw the sign 5 or 6 times, and the fist pumping was a thing of beauty.
Fantastic. Somebody saw the sign & fist pump combo. I told you it was hilarious.
I particularly enjoy the look of smug satisfaction on my face. As if to say, "Take that Mr. Kennedy--the match is restarting."

You look like a mental health nurse that's taking care of me, satisfied that I'm enjoying my big night out.
I just laughed out loudly. I never laugh. Ever.

I love the juxtaposition of emotions you and the Missus convey here. Label them what you will. The smirk and the jaw-drop/fist-pump complement one another beautifully. You're gonna wanna crop this, frame it, and hang it above the mantle. At Christmas, you can gather round it, and when the little ones are little, the family can sing carols to it while the open fire roasts things simply for the olfactory's sake.
I knew the People would like this; I'm glad I made you LOLZER.

See you Wednesday, Kenny.
Kenny, I can top never laughing: I never SMILE. haha.
You look like you just took a big poop. And the wife can smell it.
But hey, if that's what you want your national TV Debut to be...well then, you did come from winneconne!
I don't agree with you at all, Tam Tam. I don't think our chasm of dissention has ever been so great, and you're a Republican.
Even if I have to stand in line all day tomorrow, I'll make sure I get what I want.

I'm talking about Guitar Hero 2, of course. Afterward, I may go and vote. We'll see.
Joke's on you all...he DID just take a big poop in that picture.
Must we?
I'm suffering from a miserable cold today, and I'm sitting in my office with all of the lights off.

Tonight, I'm picking up Guitar Hero 2, casting my votes at the local library and catching up on hours of TiVo'ed programming.

Just thought you might want to know. New post tomorrow, by the by.
I can't help but notice that the missus doesn't change perceptibly between the pics, is that a cardboard cutout?
You know, we finally figured out why she was making that face in the stills. We were both responding to an announcement that was being made. She knew what was going to happen, so when said announcement was made, she gave a knowing nod and a "yup, that sounds about right" sort of look, thinning out her lips and squinting her eyes.

I, on the other hand, was jubilant. So much so, that I apparently pooped myself.

And yes, she's cardboard. I bought her at IKEA and turned her into an end table.
I once tried to turn my ex wife into a coffee table, but since she wasn't made of cardboard it got messy and I wound up in prison.

The upside? I know how to make peach wine in the tank of a toilet, and can fashion a shank from most household objects.

The cold medicine is making me delirious.
Toilet Wine's got nothing on Bathtub Moonshine. But at least you got to kill someone out of the deal.
Go figure...the only time since 1992 that I've been televised nationally, I have to look like I'm slow.
I also had a dream last night that Brad Pitt tried to drown me and Gwen Stefani rescued me. I need to stop falling asleep with the TV on.
Yeah, Brad Pitt is always trying to pull crap like that.
Oh, Hathery I wouldn't worry about it. Looking at the photos again the only people that seem to have moved at all was CDP and the blonde girl in front of him. And that was probably to escape the torrent of flying elbows that was rained down upon her.
Yeah, I elbowed her good.

Considering how she's looking these days, I'd rather dream about Brad Pitt than Gwen Stefani.
Yeah, the pictures were literally milliseconds apart. So I don't feel bad for looking so stoic.

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