Friday, December 1

Kickin' It With Cliff - Sweeps Month Edition.

Kickin' It With Cliff - Volume 2.
(Today's post was written by Cliff, the older brother of the CDP. Since 2002, Cliff has been living in the basement of CDP Headquarters, where he has been financially supported and cared for by the CDP and the Missus. At his insistance, he was allowed to write one column every Friday while 'Lost' was on hiatus. This is believed to be only his second foray into the Blogosphere.)

Everypeeple so excited about Sweep Month. They all say "This where CDP pulls out all the stops." This not true. CDP tell Cliff to stop all the time. This morning, I put sock in toaster, turn dial to '10.' He yell and say I try to burn house down. That may be true, but he no need to yell. I standing right next to him.

It the truth.

Me no get to sit at adult table for Thanksgiving. Me not even sit at kid table. Me sit in coat room, next to radiator. I get no turkey, either. Just juicebox and stuffing. I say "Me not thankful for CDP," but he just laugh and lock door behind him.

No respek!

CDP get all Sweep Month ideas from me, anyway. I tell him to do podcast with me, he say I not allowed to use mikrofone. That because I used mikrofone at wedding reception one time; bride and groom got divorced the next day. I no think it my fault, though. They had no future.

Here what CDP do for you during December:

The CDP Year In Review.
The Worst Album Covers Of All Time - Part Deux.
The Best Comments Of 2006.
The Best Albums Of 2006.
The Best & Worst Of 2006.
CDP Post #500.
The State Of The CDP Speech - 2006.
The Official CDP Podcast.
Much, Much More!

Should be good time.

He tell me I can write every Friday, even if people think I funny or not. He say that I'm on the fringe, and some people no understand where Cliff coming from. He say not to worry about these people, they jerkasses and need to lighten up a little. I no no what that means; I just happy I get to come out of basement every now and again. Someday, I be signing 8x10 glossy for fans, just like CDP do.

I Cliff. Me funny, too.


Please tell me you didn't give up on Family Guy. The last three episodes have been gut-busting.
Can we have Cliff merch as well?
I completely agree about Family Guy The Skywalker bit was fantastic.
It's always been my opinion that no matter what you think of Family Guy, every episode will have at least one moment where you're laughing out loud.
Cliff merch is on the horizion; he needs to start pulling some weight around this place, money-wise. Besides, the autographed 8x10 glossys would fly off the proverbial shelves.

He keeps telling me he has all these great merch ideas, but then he just starts describing episodes of People's Court in disturbingly accurate detail.

I haven't watched Family Guy in years. I won't lie to you, though; when I used to watch it, I would be gasping for breath for 22 straight minutes. Nowadays, I have no time to work it into my life. Especially now that I hear they're bringing back Futurama.

Caught an episode of Metalocalypse last week, and laughed pretty hard, as well.

The Office still rules the school, however.
About five minutes into watching "The Office" last night, I get a blank screen and "No Signal." I'm guessing it had something to do with the ice/snow storms, but it was the only channel that didn't work. Thank goodness for bittorrent.

Studio 60 was much better this week. I did find a critic's review (actually a "review reversal") that pretty much mirrors how I've felt about this show up until now.
Yeah, we got blasted with a bunch of snow this morning. On the way to work, I got stuck going up a hill and had to floor it just to not hit the car behind me.

Every Winter, I again start to question why I live here. Truth be told, it's worth it just for the 3 weeks of Autumn.

Studio 60 had a great episode this week. I'm very glad that they got picked up for the rest of the season, as I want to see how far they can roll with this concept.

In that critic's review, I like how she spotlighted the brilliant anti-humor that takes place during Studio 60's 'sketches.' I don't know if people realize that writing stuff like that is amazingly difficult to nail.
He keeps telling me he has all these great merch ideas, but then he just starts describing episodes of People's Court in disturbingly accurate detail.


Are they really bringing back Futurama? There just may be a Santa Claus after all...
This Futurama rumor has been picking up steam for the last 3 years, so I guess you never know.

This rumor reminds me a lot of Elementary school, when someone would start the yarn that we were getting out of school 2 hours early. You knew it was a crock of crap, yet you couldn't help telling people because you wanted so badly to believe it.

I don't know why Cliff watches all those 'Judge' shows. I think it's because he's home all day, and FOX airs them all afternoon. He used to watch Univision all the time, but I cut his cable in the basement.
"I think I saw a rat king"

30 Rock wraps up a great thursday night on NBC.

"I'm expecting a page from 1983"
On January 19, I posted the following on the CDP:

So, here's my proposal to NBC: Turn your 'Must-See Thursday' night lineup into what FOX used to have; good, funny shows. Call it, 'Must-See, No Laugh Track Thursday Night, Sponsored By Ford:'

7:00-7:30 - Scrubs

7:30-8:00 - Malcolm In The Middle

(Sign them to a 1-year deal. The kids are getting too old, but at least give them a chance to go out in style.)

8:00-8:30 - My Name Is Earl

8:30-9:00 - The Office

Ruh-Roh, I think NBC owes me some money. Have you seen how they're marketing Thursday nights? It's all, "There's no laugh-track; you'll know when to laugh."

It should also be noted that this was the VERY SAME post that got the CDP noticed by Anchor Bay Productions, who sent me DVD's for mentioning a few of their shows on here. I'm starting to think that the CDP has more pull in the TV market than originally thought.
I know that I was wrong about the Malcolm thing, but 30 Rock didn't exist in January.
Look on the bright side. The snow stopped, the sun is out and the trip home will be much better.

I'm too lazy to scrape my car off, however, so I'm actually going to skip lunch today. I didn't bring anything, and the bagel shop is too far too walk.

I'm so hungry.
The nice man in the cafeteria who sounds exactly like Dane Cook in the SNL sketch about Target employees made me a Cheddar, Havarti, and Provolone Panini. It was excellent.
It's still a total blizzard here. My bus got stuck for 20 minutes this morning. It didn't matter though, since all but one person called in today (and he left after 2 hours to "work from home").
See? I was going to pick up a Grilled Cheese Panini at Einstein's today, but as soon as the snow started to soak through my socks, I gave up on the venture. I might spend the night here in the office.

Working from home sounds great. I would need to become morbidly overbese* to earn that right, though.

*The funniest thing the Missus has ever said.
Blizzard? It's 76 degrees outside's ridiculous.
You, sir, have hurt me deeply.

It's official. In 2007, the CDP World Headquarters are moving to Africa. I'll take malaria and AIDS over snow any day of the week.

Woah, scratch that. I'm sorry.
You could have a winter headquarters in SC. My spare bedroom is small and has purple carpet, but it's also ugly.

The problem with this, of course, would be the actual jobs that you and the Missus have. While I'm exceedingly handsome and rogueishly charming, I'm not independently wealthy.
The deal's off, Sporkie. We want money for nothing and chicks for free.

I take it back. I'm sleeping in a drawer right now.
I love the Dire Straits.

On an unrelated note, someone stayed out drinking all night and gave me a hangover.

Oh, wait...that was me. Damn.
Unlike the Tooth Fairy, the Hangover Fairy leaves vomit and regret on your pillow.

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