Friday, February 23

Lost Friday - "Stranger In A Strange Land."

Lost Friday - Episode 9.
Season 3 - Episode 9: "Stranger In A Strange Land."

Another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss.

Or do we?

What happened this week? Did anything happen this week? Beats me, because I started nodding off about halfway through it. I understand that it's always nice to catch our breath after a few weeks of crazy plot advancement, but I'm fairly certain that we did nothing but hang around the house this week. After what happened with Desmond last Wednesday, "Stranger In A Strange Land" paled by comparison.

The ratings have dropped, the timeslot has changed, the story's getting more confusing and less interesting. Perfect.

I'm a believer in giving as much as you get, so I'm only putting as much effort into this week's Lost Friday as I feel the writers of this week's episode have given to me. How biblical.

So, in lieu of the Thick & Meaty, I present to you the Thin & Meager.

Thin & Meager.

FLASHBACKS:

Jack heads to Thailand to 'find himself.' Along the way, he manages to stumble head-first into what has to be the single most beautiful woman in the entire country, named Achara. Jack and Achara begin a tryst that lasts about a month, in which they exchange vegetarian recipes and old episodes of MST3K on VHS.

Jack finds out that Achara is a tattoo artist, mainly because she never has any money and constantly reeks of weed. She claims that she's able to tattoo people with her vision of what kind of person they are. Jack demands to be inked, and Achara obliges, drawing a Gingerbread house on the small of his back. The locals aren't keen on Jack's 'Scamp Stamp,' so they beat the crap out of him and make him leave the country. Soon thereafter, Achara is beamed back to her home planet.

This marks the first time in history that an American doctor has gone to Thailand without having sex with a child.

Achara.
(Hey there, Achara.
Just thought you might want to know
You're an alien.)


ON THE MAIN ISLAND:

Kate and Sawyer are paddling back to shore. Kate wants to go back for Jack. Sawyer says no. Karl mutters and pees his pants. The world collectively yawns and scratches itself.

Karl misses Alex. Sawyer tells him that it's okay to be a big sissy. Karl blows his nose on Sawyer's shirt. Sawyer shoots Karl.

Kate and Sawyer are on the rocks concerning their relationship, as Jack is always in the back of Kate's mind. The storyline circles the drain and gurgles thusly.

Achara Too.
(The question I'll ask;
You are not from around here.
What is your species?)


ON HYDRA ISLAND:

Juliet is on trial for killing Danny. Jack wants to help, but he's too busy having pointless flashbacks. Eventually, Jack lies for Juliet and she is spared, only after being branded with the Star of Bethlehem.

Cindy and the rest of the kidnapped children gather around Jack's cage to 'watch.' Jack angrily growls and scares them off. We learn nothing as to what's going on with them, which is the theme of the evening.

Jack realizes what Juliet did to help him and his friends, so he decides to nurse Ben back to help in exchange for his word. In return, Ben pardons Juliet. By the end of the episode, they're all sailing back to the main island, where the Others live and be merry. Fade to black; I throw a beer bottle at the TV and go to bed.

Sorry, kids. Them's the breaks for giving me nothing to work with. Let's Break It Down!

Break It Down!

4 - Again; an American doctor in Thailand, and he's not looking for child prostitutes? No way! I've had to suspend my disbelief a lot for this show, but I'm drawing the line here.

8 - In hindsight for the Others, it didn't make much sense to send your only doctor to infiltrate the Castaways and start killing people. There must have been a better way to utilize that guy. His hands are delicate, for God's sake!

15 - Jack's tattoo was a huge letdown. It means exactly what I thought it meant. Fantastic.

Achara Also.
(Until this moment
Did not know you existed
Then you ate my brain.)


16 - At the end of the episode, we were supposed to feel bad for Alex and Karl, being separated after such a traumatic ordeal. In tune, I yelled "Don't care!" at the television before I shut it off. Why? Because I don't care, and nobody else should. Those characters don't nearly have enough depth to generate an emotional response from the audience, especially when they're up against Kate and Sawyer.

23 - Last week, Lost boasted some of their lowest ratings ever. I can't imagine this episode doing any better. To write an entire episode around the significance of a tattoo, you won't exactly be roping the fans in.

42 - Screw this.

It's time for The Preview. Tiny Spoilers Ahoy!

Tricia Tanaka Is Dead. Y'all Better Rekanize!

4 - Episode 10 is titled "Tricia Tanaka is Dead." It will be Hurley-centric.

8 - The official preview from ABC reads: "Hurley's discovery of an old, wrecked car on the island leads him on a mission of hope not only for himself, but for a fellow survivor in need of some faith. Meanwhile, Kate and Sawyer reunite with their fellow castaways, but Kate is still torn about leaving Jack behind with "The Others."

15 - In flashbacks, we'll see Cheech Marin playing the role of Hurley's dad. We'll also see the Chicken Shack destroyed by a meteor, per Hurley's story last season.

16 - Rousseau will return this week, crazy as ever.

Achara Again.
(Touching my fingers
Never wash my hands again
Take me back with you.)


23 - TV Guide states: "Happy days are here again when Hurley enlists Sawyer, Jin and Charlie to help him get that metal wreck started. Sawyer, meanwhile, sets a new record for most pop-culture references uttered in a single Lost episode. In addition to a Little House shout-out, the con artist formerly known as James Ford name-drops IHOP, Hooked on Phonics and Skeletor. Rocky III even gets a little plug, but that one Sawyer can't take credit for."

42 - As most Hurley episodes go, expect this one to be funny, charming and not too focused on serious storyline advancement. I'm actually looking forward to it. I've always liked the Hurley episodes.

Well, there you have it. The leanest, meanest Lost Friday ever. Sound off in the comments section and send hate mail or erotic photos to communistdance@yahoo.com. When you're done with all of that, head on over to The Coconut Internet and tell them I'm an ass. They'll laugh heartily. As always, here are links to every Lost Friday this season.

Season 3 Preview
Season 3 - Episode 1 Review
Season 3 - Episode 2 Review
Season 3 - Episode 3 Review
Season 3 - Episode 4 Review
Season 3 - Episode 5 Review
Season 3 - Episode 6 Review
Season 3 - Episode 7 Review
Season 3 - Episode 8 Review

Comments:
Haven't watched the episode, yet. The Oregon Trail reference was beautiful.

Watch The Office ASAP.
 
I haven't watched The Office yet, but I will this weekend. I'm super excited that Rainn Wilson is hosting SNL with Arcade Fire tomorrow.

I'd almost venture that my paper-thin recap is better than the actual episode of Lost this week. Yeah, it was mediocre at best.

Oregon Trail = Constant source of humor. I cannot even think of the word 'meager' without thinking of Trail.

Wisconsin/Ohio State this Sunday, yo.
 
That episode stunk.
 
Yeah, it was rather poop-tastic.
 
Worst-episode-ever.

They resolved nothing, but opened up another tangent by making us question what it means to be "branded".

Like you said, I don't care. But what a coincidence it was that an aloe plant was growing right next to Jack's cage. Or was it a coincidence?

OH MY GOD!
 
The Others are starting to resemble the townsfolk in The Lottery more every week. I honestly thought that they were going to be more interesting than this, although I don't know why.

I'm keeping an eye on this aloe conspiracy.
 
4
Oregon Trail = Brilliant!
8
Jack wanting to fly a kite on the beach = Gay
15
Sawyer talking to blubbering Karl = "Tell me about the Rabbits" BLAM! Take that you nauseating adolescent
16
Random unprotected sexual encounters with mysterious Thai woman = Gonorrhoea
23
Karl/Alex transition near end = "somewhere out there..."
42
As an actual tidbit to add to discussion I noticed that that tattoo has been added to since Thailand. Only the characters were shown inked after Jack got his little kite knocked in the sand and stomped on.
 
I was pointing that out to my wife as well; Jack had the tattoo altered since the Achara Incident.

It's interesting to note that this is an actual tattoo that Matthew Fox has. They were initially going to cover it up, but then decided to work it somehow into the show. Looking back, I bet they wish they hadn't.

You're right. There's absolutely no reason whatsoever for a grown man to be flying a kite by himself.

Because of said kite, however, he was able to hook up with someone who, if I were to see in person, would make me pee my pants and faint.

It's been awhile since we've had an An American Tail reference on here. Good work.
 
I was actually quite surprized at what the characters on his arm meant. I was almost positive they meant: Campbell-Wolf-Chabert-Hewitt 4-eva.
 
Yup, Scott Wolfe 4eva. That was my prediction last week.

As it turns out, he has that tattoo, just not on his arm.
 
Oh crap! You did! Here I was thinking I'd be funny. Sorry CDP That was really Carlos Mencia of me!
 
You made up for it w/ the Carlos Mencia reference--relevant and funny!
 
I think you both mean Carlos Menstealia.
 
Wait. Hold on just one second.

"he walks amongst us, but he is not one of us."

I took the liberty of deciphering that, because, well, it's Friday, I don't want to do more work today, and I'm deliriously hungover.

I guess if you wanted to put the meaning behind Jack's tattoos another way, you could say that he's "more than meets the eye", right? And that being the case, I'll be the first, ever, to hypothesize that they're on Transformer Island, and this whole show has been an elaborate, drawn-out trailer for the new Transformers movie.

Michael Bay is a genius!
 
For a long time, I thought this show was going to be a big ad for the Armed Forces. I like your idea more, though; there's a better chance that I'll get to see a robot this way.

Someone at work asked me if I thought Jack was Jesus. I said no, but that I would start worshipping him if I found out that he slept with the entire cast of Party Of Five*.





*Including Scott Wolfe.
 
Irritable Male Syndrome - That was so freaking funny!!! Whew! Transformer Island... I'm going to giggle about that all day...

HA!
 
I wish it were an elaborate and drawn-out trailer for 300, because then we wouldn't have to watch it anymore come March 6.
 
CDP -
You should know I love 'Lost Friday' and get a lot out of your insights. I've never commented before but feel moved to do so now. What I have to say in response to your posting today is:

Amen, brother.

I kind of felt a little ripped off by the bizarro Desmond episode last week (interesting but no real plot advancement) but this was so much worse. The introduction of Cindy and the kids without any explanation of their goings on particularly pissed me off, bad kid acting aside.

Why am I watching
Used to make me use my brain
Where is my remote
 
Gotta love the haikus!

I thought that whole scene w/ Jack and the kids was incredibly awkward. Why was Jack so mad? He doesn't seem like he would be much fun to hang out with--he's always getting mad for no reason.
 
Or... it looks like he is going to cry...
 
TBSShow - Welcome aboard, and thanks for the support!

I have faith that the Lost crew will pull itself out of their current funk, but it'll be interesting to see who's left when the dust settles. If the hardcore fans are starting to get restless, what about the 10 million casual ones?

The scene with Jack, Cindy and the kids was awkward and poorly played out. They need to settle that mess, and quick.

Jack is a wiener. Pass it on.
 
The TV show Lost
Is starting to crash and burn.
Jack is a wiener.

 
Indeed a very dull episode.
They've had a LONG pause before the start of the uninterrupted run of spring episodes and yet they air something this filler-esque? Incredible.

But everyone can brightened themselves up with Dharma beer from now on due to these PDF files with DIY Lost food labels:
http://www.insanelygreattees.com/news/?p=28
 
Man, reading over Lost Friday just makes me glad I quit watching last season.

It frees up more hobo-murdering time for me.
 
I've printed out most of those labels, and plan on using them the first chance I get. I always drink a beer when I watch Lost, now I can drink a far nerdier beer than before.

"Wow, you can really taste the nerd!"

Everyone wins, really.
 
What, JT? You stopped watching Lost??? Honestly..you'll probably be more entertained just by reading the recaps on Lost Friday.
 
Yeah, I'm like the Readers Digest of awesome.

Expect to see that on a t-shirt come Spring.
 
Yeah, I stopped watching. The sad part is, I didn't admit it to myslef for a long time. I had 6 episodes stacked up on my DVR, and I just kept putting off watching them.

Then I realized that I just didn't want to. So I deleted them all and just started reading Lost Friday instead.
 
I did the same thing with Heroes.
 
I'm still watching Heroes.
 
This was way more entertaining than the episode.

Juliet is on trial for killing Danny. Jack wants to help, but he's too busy having pointless flashbacks.

Ahahahaha
 
I just finished watching the premier of "Lost!" It was absolutely wonderful! I was mesmerized the entire time. You have to admit the premise is anything but realistic, but the execution is awesome.Catch all eps Watch Lost Free here...
 
What an fantabulous show!!!This is a really good program with very good writers.I also like how the writers go into the history of each main character, making them more interesting for the watcher. This looks to be a hit.Catch all eps Download Lost Free here...
 

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