Tuesday, February 6

Top 5 Super Bowl Commercials.

This previous Sunday, I made a point to watch every commercial aired on CBS from 4:30 to 9:30pm. It was my hope that this year would reward me with several hilarious and instantly-classic 30-second ad spots, the likes of which we haven't seen in almost a decade.

It really didn't. I wasn't surprised.

Still, I pushed onward and selected my 5 favorite commercials from the pack. I graded each spot based on a scientific formula consisting of the following parameters:

1. No K-Fed (don't bring his commercial up).
2. No erection pills or pharmaceutical medications.
3. No talking animals, or animals of any kind.

Here then, the Top 5 Super Bowl Commercials of 2007. Each ad is only 30 seconds long, so take the time to check them all out.

#5 - Bud Light - "Hitcher."

Like it or not, Budweiser is always the largest Super Bowl sponsor, boasting the first commercial of the year, every year. I preferred this one over their "rock, paper, scissors" and "fist bump" ads simply because I thought it had more depth and humor. Which reminds me, where were all the terrible Pepsi ads this year?

#4 - Snickers - "Kiss."

I don't think I've ever seen a commercial that showed two members of the same sex kissing, comical or otherwise. Shock factor aside, the idea that you can negate an accidentally 'gay' moment by doing something heroically stupid and 'manly' will always make guys laugh.

#3 - Emerald Nuts - "Goulet."

I remember all of the Emerald ads from last year, and they must have the same agency producing their 2007 ads. Pure surrealist comedy here; considerably funnier if you actually know who Robert Goulet is.

#2 - Combos - "Mom."

This is really how a humorous commercial should be made. Give the viewer an out-of-the-ordinary situation that grabs their attention. Play it completely straight until the final, narrated punch line. It's Commercial Humor 101, and it's still funny even after you know how it ends.

#1 - Garmin - "Take On The World."

This commercial completely caught me by surprise, and it's absolutely wonderful. Every year, a previously unknown company splurges on a 30-second Super Bowl ad, and just nails it. I've watched this ad at least a handful of times now, and it's head-shakingly perfect in its satire of Japanese commercials and culture (as viewed through the eyes of an American). Brilliant.

There you have it. Sound off in the comments section, and let me know if any links are dead.

I only saw a few commercials last night (since I don't like football) and I thought the one with the homeless dog that ended up on the fire truck was really cute. I know it had animals, but it was cute!
Yup, see Rule #3.

If we're talking sentimental here, I liked the Chevy commercial where the assembly-line emo-robot dreams of committing suicide.
I was asleep during most of the 'bowl, and woke up only during commercials or plays which made the cdp laugh boisterously. It was surreal.
I saw you nodding off and waking back up for most of the game. I could imagine that nothing made a lot of sense to you at that point.

But yes, you did see Robert Goulet crab-walking on the ceiling of an office building.
My favorite was the Bud Light Rock-Paper-Scissors commercial. Overall, I think it was the only one that made me laugh all night.

Of course, watching Grossman hand the game to the Colts didn't have me in the best of moods...
Here's a detailed rebuttal:

The reason I omitted the "Rock-Paper-Scissors" commercial from my list was because they threw in a couple of jokes that sort of ruined the punchline of a Guy Getting Hit in the Face with a Rock.

When the guy got hit with the rock, it was funny and unexpected. They should have ended the commercial right there.

Instead, they had to throw in the "I threw paper" line, just in case there was someone too dumb to realize the joke. Then the "Low-five" stinger at the end was pointless. Hit 'em hard and leave, that's what I always say.

You're right, though. For what it's worth, I laughed pretty hard at it.

Rex Grossman is going to be run out of Chicago on a rail. It was one of the worst QB performances I've ever seen in a Super Bowl.
I agree wholeheartedly that the commercial should not have been dumbed down.

I think the Colts should send Grossman some sort of "Thank You" cookie basket.
You just watch. That will be the top headline of this week's Onion:

'Colts Vote Grossman Superbowl MVP.'
Rock, Paper, Scissors was my favorite, but I loved the Robert Goulet commercial too. Nobody else in my family could comprehend why I liked it so much.

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