Wednesday, March 7

CDP Wayback Machine - Mad-Lib Edition.

(I'm still sick as hell and have an extremely limited amount of time in my office. Here's a CDP Classic from one year ago this week. Enjoy.)

Here now, the very first CDP Mad-Lib. Here’s how you can play along; it’s fun!

Make a list of answers to the following 20 questions. For example, if I ask you for a PLURAL NOUN, you’d say something like BLENDERS or GRAPEFRUITS. Do this for each of the 20 words I ask of you.

When you’re finished, plug your answers into the correct places in my following trademark rant. They’ll be in order, so it’s easy. Ready?

Write down the first thing that comes to your mind for the following:

1. PLURAL NOUN (I already used blenders and grapefruits, jerk.)
2. ADJECTIVE (Descriptive word, in case you were wondering.)
3. TOURIST ATTRACTION
4. HISTORICAL PERSON
5. PLURAL DRINK
6. PLURAL SNACK
7. WORST MOVIE EVER
8. ADJECTIVE (Make sure it’s different from your first adjective!)
9. MEDIA MEDIUM
10. DISEASE
11. CRIME-RIDDLED CITY
12. ANIMAL
13. VEHICLE BRAND
14. ANIMAL (Make it different from the first animal!)
15. BODY PART
16. COLOGNE
17. CELEBRITY YOU HATE
18. BODY PART (Make it different from the first body part!)
19. ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
20. GAY CELEBRITY

Now, take those 20 answers, and get ready to plug them into one of my numerous hilarious rants.

'Hilarious Trademark Rant'
By: The CDP.

So, here’s three reasons why I absolutely despise PLURAL NOUN.

1. They’re ADJECTIVE.

You can’t even go to the TOURIST ATTRACTION anymore without drowning in their bull rip. Why, me and FAMOUS PERSON were just discussing their annoyance over PLURAL DRINK and PLURAL SNACK. We came to the conclusion that we hate them more than WORST MOVIE EVER.

2. They think they’re so ADJECTIVE.

I’m sick of seeing them on the MEDIA MEDIUM all the time, rattling on about their DISEASE. Listen, I grew up in CRIME-RIDDLED CITY too, but I don’t go around blaming it for the time I hit that ANIMAL with my VEHICLE BRAND.

3. They smell like an ANIMAL’s BODY PART.

I shouldn't have to walk around with a can of COLOGNE just because I’m afraid they’ll show up reeking like CELEBRITY wiped their BODY PART on their ARTICLE OF CLOTHING. I swear to you, the next time I see them coming, I’ll run faster than GAY CELEBRITY to the Bravo channel.

Did it work for you? What were your words? Share the laughter and love in the comments section, and praise me for all the hard work I do for you.

Comments:
1. PLURAL NOUN (I already used blenders and grapefruits, jerk.)
Clocks
2. ADJECTIVE (Descriptive word, in case you were wondering.)
Magnificent
3. TOURIST ATTRACTION
Washington DC
4. HISTORICAL PERSON
The Zodiac
5. PLURAL DRINK
Tab Colas
6. PLURAL SNACK
Cool Ranch Doritos
7. WORST MOVIE EVER
Man In The Iron Mask
8. ADJECTIVE (Make sure it’s different from your first adjective!)
Splendoriforous
9. MEDIA MEDIUM
Satellite Radio
10. DISEASE
Sars (maybe it's not a disease, but it sure is a bitch)
11. CRIME-RIDDLED CITY
Eagle, Colorado
12. ANIMAL
Narwal
13. VEHICLE BRAND
Yugo
14. ANIMAL (Make it different from the first animal!)
Aardvark
15. BODY PART
Clavicle
16. COLOGNE
Imitation Drakar Noir
17. CELEBRITY YOU HATE
Colin Farrel
18. BODY PART (Make it different from the first body part!)
Tibula
19. ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
CDP (That joke told itself)...
20. GAY CELEBRITY
 
That one worked out quite well. Nice 'Rock Lobster' reference, by the way.
 
I'm really disappointed in the CDP fanbase. This one had real potential in the comments section and no one's coming through...

Rock Lobster?
 
Moe, I agree with you wholeheartedly. This is why I ran the post again a year later. Nobody wanted to play then, and nobody wants to play now.

I didn't want to give up on it, so I bust it out every now and again because I think it's funny and creative. I'm telling you, I just don't get it.

Actually, I do get it. People like to have their entertainment handed to them without a lot of work. That's how I like it, why would I expect any different from people who are like me?

The only reason it bugs me is because it's really quite hilarious. If this was just another Tony Little or Mr. T post, I'd understand. But a personalized CDP Mad-Lib? That's one-of-a-kind, baby!




(coughs, sneezes and passes out.)
 
Shame on you, CDPeons! At least I can say that I haven't lost touch with how much I liked Mad Libs back in '91'.
 
WOW! I feel like I just came in late for the meeting and found everyone talking about my ED!

regardless, here is my contribution. I know its late. (MG)

1. PLURAL NOUN (I already used blenders and grapefruits, jerk.)
popsicles
2. ADJECTIVE (Descriptive word, in case you were wondering.)
squishy
3. TOURIST ATTRACTION
Paris Hilton
4. HISTORICAL PERSON
Joseph Stalin
5. PLURAL DRINK
Appletinis
6. PLURAL SNACK
pickled eggs
7. WORST MOVIE EVER
Gigli
8. ADJECTIVE (Make sure it’s different from your first adjective!)
ponderous
9. MEDIA MEDIUM
Shouting from the Mountain top
10. DISEASE
Gambling
11. CRIME-RIDDLED CITY
Vail, CO
12. ANIMAL
Bonobo
13. VEHICLE BRAND
Daewoo
14. ANIMAL (Make it different from the first animal!)
Giraffe
15. BODY PART
knee cap
16. COLOGNE
Old Spice
17. CELEBRITY YOU HATE
Sharon Stone
18. BODY PART (Make it different from the first body part!)
eyeball
19. ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
leg warmer
20. GAY CELEBRITY
Ryan Seacrest (still works)
 
Thanks for playing, Blustacon, and thanks for responding to my tantrum. It's been a long week already. I told you this was hilarious!

CDPeons....oh man, I've gotta start using that one. I'm partial to CDP Alumni, but I do like to feel dominant.
 
How about CDPeers or CDPeoples? I don't think I'd like to be CDPeasantry.
 
1. PLURAL NOUN (I already used blenders and grapefruits, jerk.)
beers
2. ADJECTIVE (Descriptive word, in case you were wondering.)
fluffy
3. TOURIST ATTRACTION
Mt. Rushmore
4. HISTORICAL PERSON
Nikola Tesla
5. PLURAL DRINK
PBR's
6. PLURAL SNACK
nuts
7. WORST MOVIE EVER
The Incredible Hulk
8. ADJECTIVE (Make sure it’s different from your first adjective!)
scrotastic (not in the dictionary, but I use it a lot)
9. MEDIA MEDIUM
telegraph
10. DISEASE
herpes
11. CRIME-RIDDLED CITY
Flint, MI
12. ANIMAL
armadillo
13. VEHICLE BRAND
Volkswagen
14. ANIMAL (Make it different from the first animal!)
kitten
15. BODY PART
elbow
16. COLOGNE
Canoe
17. CELEBRITY YOU HATE
Rosie O'Donnell
18. BODY PART (Make it different from the first body part!)
earlobe
19. ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
jock strap
20. GAY CELEBRITY
Tom Cruise

And CDPeons is awesome. I would buy another tshirt.
 
While CDP Alumni is still my term of choice, I think I'll follow JT's advice and get a CDPeon shirt printed up. If anything, just for me to wear.

Ha ha....Tom Cruise. That's never not funny.
 
My biggest challenge was trying to decide under which headings to put Rosie and Tom, since I hate them both, and they're both gay.
 
That would have been the toughest decision I've had to make all day.
 
I make a decent contribution to the CDP world by giving you CDPeons, and you give the credit to Clemson Tiger?

Now I simply feel like a peon.
 
JT had the t-shirt idea, but you were the mastermind. I should have prefaced that beforehand.

Now I look like a CDPrick.
 
No worries. I missed the JT shirt idea in his original comment, so if anyone is a CDPecker, it's me.

I'd probably order the CDPeon shirt and frame it, too.
 
Yeah, give 85% credit to Maryland for the phrase, 15% to Clemson for the shirt, and 100% to the ACC.
 
JT - I couldn't have said it better myself. Good luck against the 'Noles.
 
Thanks, Moe.

CDP - I once again ripped off one of your ideas. I turned the CDP Wayback Machine into the Spork Nation Oh-So-Def Remix. I owe you, buddy.
 
For me, the Wayback Machine is a good way to re-surface some good posts that might have been overlooked when they were originally published. Hope it works for you, too.

It looks like the ACC vs. the Big 10 in this year's tourney. I'll be picking Wisconsin to win it all, naturally, but it's going to be awesome.
 
I'm going to let Tinker make my picks this year.
 
I don't know, hun. You did pretty good last year. I was consulting all sorts of charts and graphs, and you still almost beat me with your "Pick your favorite mascot" method.

I should just give up and stop throwing so much money at the office pool, but it's just too much fun to lose every year.
 
At least Tigers and Terps fans don't have to worry about watching a game while at work, tomorrow.
 
Let's consult the chart:

If the CDP knows lots about sports and the missus knows nothing, yet the missus' picks are better...then Tinker, who knows less about sports than the missus, must by logic be the best picker of all!
 
True that, the Badgers play at some stupid time tomorrow, like 2pm or something. There's no way I'll be able to see it.

Tinker 4 Prez!
 
Yeah, but I wasn't expecting to. I thought y'all would stomp Miami.

Tinker must be nothing short of solid gambling gold.

CDP, you should see if the game is on Gametracker. While it's not 100% up to the minute, it's better than nothing.
 
Moe - I drowned my sorrows in a combination of beer and singing along to Ronnie Milsap songs at a bar. I highly recommend it.

CDP - I stumbled across the Missus's MySpace page (yeah, I have one, but I'm so uber-def that I'm beyond reproach.) So I'm not just a random cyber-stalker. I'm just me. Mostly harmless.
 
This bothers me none.


Duke sucks.
 
JT - Turtles are still in the NCAA's, so I can only live on the fact that we'll be well-rested for the opener. As for the Tigers, um, yeah...Sorry 'bout that.

Last year, the Terps were 8-8 in conference and lost in the first round of the ACC tournament. They went on to lose in the first round of the NIT.

THIS year, the Diablo Blancos were 8-8 in conference and lost in the first round of the ACC tournament. They'll be a #7 seed in the NCAA's. Sounds about right...
 
Duke will probably get a #4 seed, if I know what kind of stroke they have with the Selection folk.
 
Moe, one of my best friends is from Baltimore, so I'm throwing the considerable weight of my beer gut behind the Terps.

Best of luck.
 

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