Wednesday, March 28

The Gift That Keeps On Giving.

ASS.

(The following is a brief e-mail exchange between the Missus and myself at work this morning. If you were ever wondering how we interact as a couple, this should give you a decent understanding. It has been left unedited; the Missus' comments are in green.)

Huz-

I think I'm going to stop at the PNS after work and grab a few items since I have no lunch items left. Do you need anything? I don't want to go full-out grocery shopping b/c we still have quite a few things left, but let me know if you need something things.

Love, Wife


Sliced cheese (any Deli Select kind, if possible)
Mayo (REAL mayo)
Bread
Hamburger buns
That should keep me in business for another week.

Thanks, babe!

-Blabz

Blozzob-

What do you think about taking off the day after Easter? Since we're going home and it's a Sunday, maybe it would be nice to have the next day off? Lemme know what you think.

Love,
Globz


Done and done. I'm off.

-Shazbot.

Squazzo-

I have to check and make sure it's okay, but it should be.

Love,
Bloznob


Glorp,

Shabbadoo-whoppa.

-Dongie-Doo.

Dronb-

Pweep.

-Blazmwag


Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Comments:
We'd better never get divorced, because this is what all the papers are going to look like. Unintelligible garbage and baby talk.
 
I can see you are very secure in your relationship.
 
I think the problem is that we're just a couple of idiots.

She beats me, though. Seriously.

But she also picks up Mayo for me at the store, so that's why I don't leave.

Welcome aboard, Cargirl! You've been nice enough to link the CDP on your page AND comment here, so I am hereby forced to add The Cargirl News Minute to the CDP NETWORK.

I don't know how many hits you get every month, but hopefully this will double them. You deserve it; you work super-hard on that page.
 
Oh my. It all seems so very silly in retrospect.
 
We've got problems.

Annoying problems.

For the record, we don't talk like this around anyone; just when we're acting like douchebags in private.
 
I was just going to blog (on Facebook) about Sanjaya Carey's hair there last night. Thanks for doing it (better) for me. Total garbage. It's not even a fauxhawk. It's a blowhawk. Or a blokehawk. Or something.
 
Because he's in the Top 10, he gets to go on the American Idol tour. The tour, for God's sake.

Simon already said that he's quit the show if Sanjaya wins. He also made it very clear last night that this entire thing is a complete and utter fiasco.

For the entire song, I was flipping my TV the bird and calling him a whore.
 
I blame Gwen Stefani for that hair. I am almost positive that she put him up to it.
 
FYI, if you have any links to www.mediocreatbest.com anywhere, they should henceforth be taken down. Seriously.
 
The real shame is that I really like the song that Sanjaya sung. What a jerkass.

I took down the M@B stuff a long time ago. It was a real "Ow! My childhood!" moment*.



*When the internet destroys once-treasured childhood memories. Usually with porn, or the idea that something wasn't nearly as cool as you had remembered it.
 
I felt the same way while going through my N*Sync action figures.

And much thanks for adding me to your network! I've been admiring the CDP from a far, far distance since my blogging days began in the early days of December of last year.
 
Hey, no problem. We're all in this together. You know, in a reclusive, ego-driven, "I'm better than you; don't touch me!" sort of way.

Bloggers (the good ones, at least) are an interesting bunch. We feed on attention and like-minded individuals, yet we ultimately wish to be left alone and forgotten. It's no wonder we're always so damn mopey.
 
Ahh. Such insight.

Anyway. I think we are always mopey because in a strange, cruel way of getting back at us for blogging against it, the world...well, gets back at us.

Good thing we have blogs, though, to deal with it!
 
Imagine my shock when I went to see if the M@B page was still there, only to discover that our childhood band had mysteriously been replaced with nude women. Such things are not good for viewing at work!!!
 
CARGIRL - Not to get all serious and art-housy, but if I didn't have a creative outlet for my writing, I'd be significantly more miserable than I already am. I'm assuming you feel the same way.

Furthermore, I don't just throw people on the CDP Network all willy-nilly. I really like your page. Keep it up.

HATHERY - Ow! My childhood!

If that was how our page looked when we still played shows, we would have probably been far more popular.
 
Hey, I wore a short skirt. I don't know what more you people want from me!!!
 
CDP, in the process of moving into the new house, I discovered an untapped stack of PBR tats. I'm happier than a 4 year old girl in a field full of ponies and ice cream.

Expect radio silence for a few days, the internet is going down at the old house, and has yet to be turned on at the new house.

I think that means I'll have to go outside and talk to people.
 
Who knew the joy that temporary tattoos could bring??
 
It was the only reason I ever ate Cracker Jacks as a kid.
 
Which reminds me, does anyone remember that episode of Cheers where Cliff Clavin swallows the whistle?
 
Is that supposed to be dirty??
 
No. Cliff accidentally swallowed the whistle while eating Cracker Jacks; they used to put those in there as the prize.

Everytime he coughed, you could hear the whistle buzzing. It was pretty funny.
 
Eew, that's gross. He'd have to poop out that whistle.
 
You don't find funny things funny.
 
No, YOU don't find funny things funny. Pooping out a whistle? That's genius.
 
The Internet officially exploded. Happy?
 

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