Friday, March 16

Lost Friday - "Par Avion."

Lost Friday - Par Avion.
Season 3 - Episode 12: "Par Avion."

Another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss.

Well, things are starting to get back to normal at CDP Headquarters. I got my office back, I can drive my car without feeling terrified and my heating bill has dropped to under $200 a month. Starting today, I'm back to my daily workout regimen in preparation for the April 28 Crazylegs Classic in downtown Madison. soon thereafter, I will establish my very own CDP Fight Club, which will take place in my unfinished basement every third Friday of the month (bring towels, alcohol and music). Oh, and did I mention the NCAA Tournament?

Cherish these moments, man...cherish these moments.

Another week, another rock-solid episode of Lost. While this season seems to have less of an overall vision and psychological theme, I have been enjoying the sub-plots and mini-missions our castaways have been partaking in. This week was no different, as we appear to be setting up a storyline that should carry us right into Season 4.

You know, if it doesn't get canceled or something. Which could totally happen.

Enough pessimism! Bring on the Thin & Meager!

The Thin & Meager

FLASHBACKS:

Claire caused a car accident that put her mom in a long-term coma. For shame!

Christian Shepard is Claire's daddy. The man gets around.

Claire looks far better with black hair.

ON THE BEACH:

Charlie is trying very hard to sleep with Claire.

Claire wants to catch a tagged bird and attach a note to it. Charlie thinks this is stupid, because it is.

Desmond saves Charlie's life again, although they have to let Claire in on the secret, due to her constant whining.

Claire does not sleep with Charlie.

EN ROUTE TO THE BARRACKS:

Locke steals some C4 from the Flame station and throws prisoner into giant microwave.

Prisoner explodes.

A-squad infiltrates the Hostile's camp. Find Jack playing football with Tom. Leave.

Done. Let's Break It Down!

Break It Down!

4 - Christian is Claire's dad. This makes Jack and Claire siblings. Fantastic.

I'll admit, it was a great angle for those who hadn't figured it out yet (I knew a year ago, losers!), but personally, I won't be satisfied until things get incestuous. Just one kiss, that's all I ask for somewhere down the line.

Please don't tell me that I was the only one thinking that would be a good storyline. It's sweeps, damn it!

8 - Locke is still acting like a bit of a bumbling fool. On the bright side, he's becoming more of a main character again, and we have no idea what he's up to. One of the best parts of Season 2 was trying to figure out just who's side Locke was on. Once again, we're left to question exactly what in the hell's going on in his head.

My guess is he just wants to blow something up, and maybe feed a few more guys into that giant reactor that microwaves people from the inside-out.

I can accept that.

15 - 'Olsen-twin lookalike' comments aside, Claire was looking downright saucy in the flashbacks. Dense eyes, pitch-black hair, a horrible attitude and crippling emotional problems; now that's my kind of girl. I was almost able to overlook how absolutely annoying of a character Claire is.

Almost. The Aussie accent is only hot if you're not whining all the damn time.

16 - It's good to know that the whole situation with Claire, Desmond and Charlie was worked out. In my personal opinion, I think Claire should sleep with Charlie at least once. If anything, just to shut him up and say thanks for the last 80 days of companionship. The guy's been working really hard here, Claire; you should at least acknowledge it.

Furthermore, watching Charlie in a sex scene would be the equivalent to seeing someone commit suicide on live television. It's going to haunt you forever, but you know you're gunna watch.

23 - How long has Sun been pregnant now? She was looking about as thin and purty as ever this week. Chalk it all up to the Island's magical powers, I guess.

Whatever the case, keep doing what you're doing, Magical Island. And maybe bring me some Cinnamon Twists from Taco Bell. Those things rule.

42 - When Lost finally reaches its ending, I'm going to publish a book with every single Lost Friday within. Will you buy it? I need to know before I start putting work into it.

The CDP is set for at least two book releases this year, and I wanted to see if there was a market for a third. Why? Because I like money and want to quit my job.

Please help me make this dream of money and not working come true.

Tiny Spoilers Ahoy! Here comes The Preview!

The Man From That One Place That's Hard To Spell.

4 - Episode 13 is titled "The Man From Tallahassee." It will be Locke-centric. Expect him to be flaunting that C4 around like he was Cock of the Walk (that made me laugh quite hard when I said it to myself).

8 - Yes, this is the episode where we FINALLY FIND OUT WHY LOCKE WAS PARALYZED. According to Terry O'Quinn; "I was afraid it'd be anticlimactic. It's not. It's pretty stunning. You're gonna go, 'Man, no wonder this guy wants to stay here!'"

I love Locke episodes, because not only is he the best character (and actor) on the entire damn show, but his flashbacks are some of the most heartbreaking and vast stories on TV. I'm telling you, John Locke is one of the most amazing characters in television history.

15 - The official episode description reads: "Ben tries to talk Locke out of his destructive plan by offering him some island secrets. Meanwhile, Kate's reunion with Jack does not go off as planned when she discovers he has made a deal with the Others."

Of course he made a deal with the Others! Wouldn't you? If I possessed some gift that they so desperately needed, I'd be strutting around that island like I was Cock of the Walk!

16 - Michael Emerson (Ben) sez: "There’s some role reversal that takes place there. Someone that’s used to being in power is dis-empowered and someone sort of takes charge in an interesting way."

Awesome! I was wondering when they were going to start getting into bondage on this show.

23 - Hey, the Others have a submarine!

Finally, they will address this theory that Internet nerds have been pining over for a year-and-a-half. Raise your cans of Mountain Dew and rejoice!

42 - You know what would bring more viewers back to this show? A little full-frontal nudity, about once every 4 episodes or so. It works for HBO, why not ABC? I'll nominate Sawyer to go first, because I believe in chivalry and the power of the age 18-29 female demographic.

Well, there you have it. Another Lost Friday submitted for worldwide viewing and enjoyment. If you like what you see here at the CDP, feel free to make a donation (the link is in the sidebar) or buy something at the CDP Webstore. Sound off in the comments section and send all erotic photography or hate mail to communistdance@yahoo.com. Once you're done with all of that, head on over to The Coconut Internet and say hello. They'll be glad you came.

Season 3 Preview
Season 3 - Episode 1 Review
Season 3 - Episode 2 Review
Season 3 - Episode 3 Review
Season 3 - Episode 4 Review
Season 3 - Episode 5 Review
Season 3 - Episode 6 Review
Season 3 - Episode 7 Review
Season 3 - Episode 8 Review
Season 3 - Episode 9 Review
Season 3 - Episode 10 Review
Season 3 - Episode 11 Review

NEXT WEEK - "LOOK AROUND YOU."
(The funniest TV series you may have never seen.)

Comments:
For the record, I picked VCU over Duke.

Best tournament EVER.
 
I picked VCU over Duke, too. And I don't even know what VCU stands for!

Ah, good ol' Venus Christian U...
 
Oh! I wouldn't say that Claire necessarily looked "good" with dark hair, but she did look naughty.

Like the kind of girl that would be easy. And get pregnant.

Sigh.
 
Exactly. Saucy.

Stupid Duke. Thank you so much, Viking Cudgel U!
 
Veritable Cock-of-the-walk U?
 
I think we need to explore the studio space a little more with this one...

Ventilation Chute University.

From Bill Simmons of ESPN.com
"My team is about two impact guys short. My players are slowly running out of steam. My card is American Express." - Coach K...

...after losing to Venomous Cock University.

If they've been on the island for 80 days, Sun would only be a month pregnant, at most. My guess is she'll lose the baby or die . Sorry, man.
 
That's a stretch.

I like it!

I was unable to see the Duke finish yesterday, but CBS has an awesome free service on their page that lets you watch everything for free.

I know what I'll be doing at work today.
 
"Explore the studio space..."

I LOL'ed.

Hmmm...

Vast Chickpeas?
Vertically Challenged?
Very Crappy?

Yeah, I don't know if Sun will be around for the finale'. I think they're just running out of story to tell with those two. Hopefully, I'll be wrong.

I usually am.
 
Stupid Duke. I like to think that someone on the selection committee purposely put them into the tournament for the sole purpose of seeing them lose. After all, what other POSSIBLE reason could there be for ranking them 6? (don't answer that...I know the reason)

Your comments are MESSED UP--Google keeps giving me an error message. LAME!!!!
 
Did anyone think that Claire's note a bit long for the paper Charlie was holding? With printing so small the damn thing's going to be unreadable. Any why the poetry? Why not, "We crashed, there's a smoke monster that eats people, and some group called DHARMA wants to kill us"? Seems more gemaine than a birth announcement.

And paper attached to the leg of a seabird will fall apart once the thing lands in the water.

About Sun: if we believe that her husband knocked her up and not her defenestrated lover, then she'd be a little over a month pregnant. Pregnant women don't really start showing--and not even much then--until the end of the first trimester.

And I thought Claire looked hot with black hair. Or maybe it was the black boots and black stockings. Maybe I just like black.
 
Did anyone think that Claire's note a bit long for the paper Charlie was holding? With printing so small the damn thing's going to be unreadable. Any why the poetry? Why not, "We crashed, there's a smoke monster that eats people, and some group called DHARMA wants to kill us"? Seems more gemaine than a birth announcement.

And paper attached to the leg of a seabird will fall apart once the thing lands in the water.

About Sun: if we believe that her husband knocked her up and not her defenestrated lover, then she'd be a little over a month pregnant. Pregnant women don't really start showing--and not even much then--until the end of the first trimester.

And I thought Claire looked hot with black hair. Or maybe it was the black boots and black stockings. Maybe I just like black.
 
Sorry about the comments; it's been a weird day. Hang in there.

Hathery, I love that we can share our hatred of Duke together like a family. I'm a lucky guy.

Our office is projecting the Badger game in the conference room on a huge screen. They figured everyone would be watching the game at their desks, so they just gave up and did something cool for us.

I, however, will still be watching the game from my desk.

LOTT - Yeah, that note was a bit rambly and unnecessary. Nobody will EVER read it.

Claire needs to go back to her Goth phase. It's really the best phase a lady can go through.
 
While I agree that goth phases are nothing short of fantastic, I must insist that the best phase a woman can go through is naked and willing beer wench.
 
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
 
You mentioned Fight Club...What's rule number one of Fight Club?
 
In our Fight Club, it's "Don't Pet the Cats Without Express Permission"
 
Tough sports weekend for the CDPeons...
 
Yeah, please don't tell anyone how I'm doing in the Pick 'Em Tourney. It may damage my reputation to the point where...



I'm in last place.
 
With Winthrop and Wisconsin knocked out, I have very little interest in watching anymore basketball.
 
My thoughts exactly.
 

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