Last weekend, we headed out to the House On The Rock for about the hundredth time in my life. As usual, the visit proved to be both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time; much like a visit to Six Flags or downtown Milwaukee.

Here then, a few photographs.



Check it out, I have a suntan! I tell you, the Wisconsin summers will really bronze a guy up. Also, I'm a serial killer.



Me and Ben take in the view of the 'Infinity Room.' The room is essentially a massive jut out from the actual house that's suspended hundreds of feet over the forests with little to no supports. There's a glass floor, and the damn thing shakes when you walk on it. It's seriously just one jumping fat kid away from crumbling and careening into the lush greenery below.



It's worth it for the view, however. We both changed our pants and gingerly continued on our way.



No tourist trap is complete without some housewife in a Hawaiian shirt. I politely asked her to leave the 'Streets Of Yesterday' shortly after this photo was taken. I really don't need that.



Death loomed quietly overhead. I secretly wished it would take me with him.



Here then, the very definition of fear. That poor clown had to stand next to my doughy, white ass while I attempted to make funny faces. In a related note, we kept checking our rearview mirrors on the ride home to make sure he wasn't following us.



And who can forget.....this!

The House On The Rock is pretty much a collection of junk, crudely thrown together to represent something mysterious and grand. When you finally reach this giant, swirling room full of contraptions and utter crap, you begin to get in on the joke and marvel at the genius of it all.

Still though, for $26 a ticket, the joke's not really all that funny afterward.



I forgot to mention that slices of pizza are $5. You can't keep me away from this place! I want to go through again! Could I possibly look like a bigger douchebag in this photo? Could I?



Animatronic mannequins playing pneumatically-powered instruments? Just try not to completely freak out when you find yourself surrounded by hundreds of them at a time. Poor Ben was tripping out like you wouldn't believe. I thought he might have accidentally ingested some Clorox before stepping into the damn place.



Come here, baby. The CDP's gunna make it all better.

I really should have put a censored bar over my Junk area, but I like to keep it real. Also, notice that I always represent by rocking the Chucks.



After the House, a trip to the Firm Worm was in order. I needed bait and a good laugh.



Upon arrive back to headquarters, we found that Gabe had gone and purchased himself a massive designer Cat Tree. What a bastard.

Sound off in the comments section, and tell me to get back to work on my book.