Monday, August 27

I Can't Keep My Eyes Off Of You.

Jameson Plug 7-Up Equals Best Friends Forever.

Kids, daddy had a long weekend, so please just look at these cool photographs while I sit in the dark and watch SportsCenter all day. You'll notice in the above picture that regardless of how sloppy I get, I always manage to keep CDP Headquarters spotlessly clean.

Oh, and if you still want in on the CDP Nationwide Mix-Tape Trade, just follow the rules in the link and get on board. We already have about 15 folks signed up, so it's already exceeded my expectations. More on this at the end of the week, along with a CDP Book update.

We'll Chain Her In The Garage And Charge Two Bits A Gander.

As promised, here's another picture of yours truly in 1983 with 'Shirley,' my first pet and the largest cat I've (and you've) ever seen. If you want to see more of Shirley, just give this LARGE BOLD TEXT a clicky-doo. You'll be glad you did.

People have been asking me where Shirley came from and how she got to be so large. Well, first off, we lived on a farm that housed over 100 cats during the busiest times. Wisconsin winters are cold and trucks have no brakes, so it's survival of the fittest if you're a homeless (let alone female) cat. Secondly, Shirley wasn't fed kibble and given a warm cot made of hay bales in the loft or anything; she killed and ate birds all day, for God's sake. Squirrels, woodchucks, maybe even a small horse if she pounced just right. She wasn't a domestic cat; she belonged on Wild Kingdom.

And again, she was my best friend.

Your Mother Should Have Just Named You Laika.

Meet Laika, the newest addition to Headquarters and the Official Spokeshog of the CDP. At just over 6 weeks old, we're getting her acclimated to the house and taking extra special care of her. Already, she snuggles with us when we watch TV, she runs for miles in her exercise wheel at night, and is about the size of a baseball when she's all curled up.

She has her own special cage, but we let her out a lot, and the cats seem to really be interested in her in a non-food sort of way. Besides, she's sharp as hell when she raises those quills, so that's really not going to be happening anytime soon. We'll be bathing her this weekend, and I'll be videotaping it and showing it to you as it happens.

It's For Your Own Good; It's For The Neighborhood.

She's alright. She'll live 5 to 7 years, makes no noise, has no smell, is litter trained, eats cat food and cannot be hurt. She'd be the perfect pet if her quills didn't penetrate the skin with extreme prejudice. The more she trusts us, however, the more that'll stop happening.

Alcohol? 40 pound cats? Hedgehogs? What do you have to say about it? Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your Monday.

Comments:
I HEART LAIKA!
 
SHIRLEY!

Thank you for making my Monday morning.

The new photo of Shirley is the equivalent of ten cups of coffee for me, this morning!
 
Eventually, the CDP will just devolve into me putting up endless photos of my pets, much like the 35 million housewives that blog on a daily basis.

Really though, it's pretty obvious that my pets are better. Shirley was an absolute beast, and Laika's not even native to this continent.
 
I don't know. Marley, my female lab mix, is an escape artist. Sometimes when she escapes out of the backyard, I can't even tell how she got out.

I'm convinced she stole my keys, drove to the store, had copies made, and just uses the gate to get out.
 
Laika's belly is so, so soft.
 
Speaking of pets, JT, how's Peeber doing? We need an update!
 
Peeber is getting big so fast. I feel bad because I only see hime a few times a week since mine and Melissa's schedules ar opposite right now. I'll try to get an updated picture soon.
 
Did ya get him a ScoopFree? They're really God's greatest gift to man. Except maybe cats. Without cats, they don't really do anyone much good.
 
I'd poop in a ScoopFree box if they made one big enough.
 
Laika looks so sweet. I've always thought hedgehogs might be pretty neat pets, but my husband puts his foot down when it comes to the more exotic animals (he has even continuously said no to getting a rabbit) so now I'll live vicariously through your experiences.
 
I want to make it very clear that this wasn't my idea. I'm merely enjoying the situation because I have no other choice. I prefer animals that can be pet without blood being shed.
 
She doesn't make you bleed, silly. Just causes a little pick-pick when she quills up. But her soft, soft belly and sniffing snout makes up for all of it :)
 
Time will tell. I'm optomistic.
 
You better be, because she's here now! haha. I think I'm going to switch her bedding over to fleece tonight.
 
Hedgehog=Cute

Super cute. I had no idea and now I want one. Somehow I think our 12 week old kitten is enough of a handful at the moment. I will just add hedgehog to the long list of animals I want to add to my menagerie.
 
The Hedgehog is the impulse buy of the animal kingdom. As soon as you see one, you want it, and you throw money at it so quickly that you don't even realize that you're buying a porcupine that sleeps 20 hours a day. It's like a cat made of needles.
 
Where can you even BUY hedgehogs? There not exacly a common purchase at pet stores.

Oh and yeah I'm new :D
 
Welcome to the CDP, Carrot Duff! Don't be a stranger!

Hedgehogs aren't native to North America, so your best bet is to purchase them from a USDA-approved breeder. That way, there are no health problems, a good pedigree and embarrassingly high prices for such a small animal.

Wait, scratch that last one. That's a bad thing. A very bad thing.

The Missus drove to a breeder in Illinois for Laika, and there are lists of recommended breeders all over the Internets.

We'll bathe her this weekend, and videotape it for the world to see. Should be hilarious.
 
I'm a long time reader, so no need to welcome me, but thanks all the same.

Makes sense I guess. Hedgehogs ARE native over here (England), but I can't really think of them as pets.

But I'm sure you can see my butthole, so I'll go to bed now.

So long.
 
Oh man, we're taking this 'Butthole' phenomenon Worldwide! You made my day, Carrot!

I want to mention that when I visited England, I learned the hard way that 'kiss my fanny' means something slightly different over there than over here. Well, live and learn.

Sleep tight, I'll knock you up at 8am.
 

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