Wednesday, October 31

CDP Wayback Machine - Halloween 2007 Edition.

I So Spooky.

This year, I got a little lazy, and wore what I pretty much wear every day to work. I decided for a modern, hipster-style American Psycho appearance. I think it gets the job done, and yes, I'm standing in the hallway of an Elementary school with a disguise and plastic chainsaw. How I'm not in jail is beyond me.

Due to today being the Best Holiday Ever, I'm corking your cry-holes with a classic CDP rerun. Please sit back and enjoy the most humiliating Halloween of my entire life, with...

October 15, 2005 - "It's My Costume."

Tonight, I'm headed off to the Dane 101 party at the High Noon Saloon. I hope to see you there. Please sound off in the comments section and tell me how you plan to spend this most joyous of days. I don't know how tonight will turn out, but I took Thursday off, just in case.

Happy Halloween, kids.

Comments:
Gosh, I write a lot better than I did in 2005. There were quite a few errors and suffered from poor pacing. You should probably ignore that.

So, why was I at an Elementary School in costume?

Why else? Pickin' up chicks.
 
Yes, your writing has improved tremendously.

I'm wearing a wig. I look very cute, but it's about 80 degrees in our office today. I'm in for a very sweaty-headed day.
 
These are the sacrifices we make for Halloween.

Most of them involve poor ventilation.
 
Is anyone else oddly aroused by that picture?

Or is it just the peyote?
 
Nah, he looks seriously hot in that costume. That's just the way he rolls.
 
I do what I can. I typically look better when there's something obscuring my chisled, rock-like face.
 
We just passed our 10,000th hit of the month. Thanks, everybody!
 
Hooray for people!
 
BLU - Yeah, although I don't have sky, I heard the American Football game was pretty good. I have a good American friend, who was basically crapping himeself with excitment over it.

I'm going to read the post now...
 
Jumpin' jellybeens!

Why has the name 'Allah' been writen in every single thing I've read in the past few days!?
It's really quite disturbing...
 
Sankoo. Man, I can still feel what it was like to be inside that costume, and it makes me all not-breathie.
 
Your computer is about to be red-flagged and confiscated.

Oh wait, you don't live in America.

Never mind. You'll be okay.
 
Awkward prop chainsaw placement ahoy!

Was that the same mask that the killer wore in that crappy slasher flick "Valentine"? Or was it a doll's face? Drawing a blank here...off to IMDB I go.

Hooray for Halloween! Best non-holiday "holiday" ever!
 
Oh, I totally meant for the chainsaw to be posed like that. In fact, the only difference between the prop and what lurks behind it is...

(Complete the joke! I'll get you started...)

1. The chainsaw hasn't scared nearly as many children.

2. The chainsaw has never really killed anyone.

3. The chainsaw has less blood on it.

Terrible? Yes. Funny? Always.
 
The chainsaw doesn't randomly start up 10-15 times per day or at the mention of boobs?
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
I truly lack subtlety.
 
Well, there you have it.

Thanks for coming, everyone. Please tip your waitresses.
 
I am not a good joke-teller. This is why I leave the funny stuff to the CDP.
 
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, guys can't really control that sort of thing.

I quit this thread.
 
You remembered "Please tip your waitresses"...but you forgot "try the veal, it's delicious!"

As the mother of a small boy, I can vouch for the fact that men can sometimes not be held accountable for the behavior of their various bits. But as a wife, I can also vouch for the fact that sometimes a man needs to pop his eyes back in his head and swivel his neck back 'round, if he knows what's good for him.
 
Agreed, but the Missus forgot to mention that she was 100% referring to the mentioning of her own specific 'bits.' I'm not much of a gawker, and she can attest to that. I know I'm lucky.

Really though, this thread is making me all squirmy and red-faced. I'm putting up Thursday's post right now, and never coming back here again.
 
See?!! When I said "awkward" I MEANT IT!
 
Once again, the Missus successfully kills a thread with her brutal honesty and in-your-face humor. I suspect a lifetime ban coming on...
 

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