Monday, October 1

Meet The CDP At Geek.Kon!

Meet The CDP At Geek.Kon!

On Saturday, October 6, a nagging question will be answered once and for all: Who is the best Guitar Hero player in the Midwest? Is it a guy? Is it a girl? Is it that one Asian kid that lives at the arcade and plays Tekken 4 with his eyes closed?

Well, I believe that it might be me, which is why I'll be attending Madison's first annual Geek.Kon and staking my claim to the title of Guitar Hero II Champion. The tournament will run from 10am to 1pm on Saturday, and that's where you'll be able to find me, staring down my competition and filming footage for an upcoming documentary on the entire convention. They expect to have about 1000 people attending, so there should be no shortage of entertainment in the people-watching department.

The rest of the convention seems pretty much standard fare for a sci-fi/anime gathering. And while 99.85% of that stuff freaks me right the hell out (cosplay, schoolgirls, furries, etc.), I fully intend to wade into the crowd and emerge victorious, clutching the hollowed-out skulls of the 15 other souls who dare try defeat me. Pity them, for they did not know what to expect.

I'm in need of both an entourage and a cheering section for the tournament, which is where you come in. If you're coming to Geek.Kon or plan on being in the Madison area on October 6, please stop in, say hello and root for the CDP. I'll be handing out free swag and you'll get to be in my movie! Furthermore, you'll see history being made when I hoist my trophy over my head and declare myself the best virtual shredder in the tri-state area. Afterwards, drinks are on me. I currently have about 8 people confirmed for my posse, but there can always be more. Admission is FREE, by the way.

Sound off in the comments section and wish me luck; I've got practicing to do, and a book to complete.

Quick weekend recap:

Went to the EAA this weekend; should have photos up by the end of the week.

Worked on my Halloween costume; didn't get very far.

SNL was pretty good; Kanye kind of stole the show, as you would expect.

MINI drives like a charm, took it around about 300 miles this weekend.

The Brewers won't be in the playoffs, but my Red Sox won the division and the Packers are 4-0. I'll survive.
Iran So Far.

Welcome back, SNL.
I would love to be a part of your entourage. Sadly, I have some totally non-nerdy, non-internet using (I know! What is wrong with them?) people coming down from Oshkosh for the weekend, and I'm not so sure they would understand why I'd want to go watch someone I've never actually met participate in some contest at a convention for geeks. I hate being the only nerd in my social group.

But, the cards may just fall right and I might be there. We'll see.
Hey, at least you thought about it, which is pretty cool to me.

How do you 'not use' the internet? I mean, we all know that Oshkosh is pretty backwoods, but is it even possible to live without being online anymore?

Uh-oh, I might have to go internet-free one week just to see how dependent I've become.
I call them the Neo-Luddites (or Neo-Ludds for short). They consist of all those people who refuse use computers. I don't want to alienate the AARP, but most are card carrying members.
...and they refer to Google as 'the Google.'

My best friend, god bless her, just does not get computers and refuses to have anything to do with them. I was a computer science major so this drives me completely crazy. She also doesn't get how I can make "friends" with people online; she thinks that only crazy, weird, anti-social people do that. As I am crazy, weird, and anti-social I don't see why this confuses her so.
So basically, her opinion of the Internet is the same as everyone's opinion of the Internet in 1993. Damn.

Being friends with someone who didn't go online, to me, would be like hanging out with an Amish guy or a crackhead. We'd have little to nothing in common. No offense to your friend or anything, it would just kill about 80% of my conversation topics.
My mom says that computers are a fad and she's waiting for them to die out. That's why she doesn't want to learn how to use one :)
That is why when we get together we drink a lot. Like a lot, a lot. If there is one thing that brings everyone together it's booze!
I went for a week with no internet access back in June. It drove me crazy, not being able to check email and watch snuff films.
I never tire of snuff film jokes.

Booze is the great communicator. Alcohol will get people talking faster than Jesse Jackson & Ronald Regan combined.

I need my computer. I rely on it way too much. Fills up about 70% of my free day.

I wanna have a Guitar Hero competition!!!!

*goes off crying*
What is this guitar hero you speak of?
Sorry, dude. If it makes you feel any better, I'm working with Killer Sandbox Productions to shoot a documentary on the whole Geek.Kon extravaganza.
Guitar Hero is a rhythm-based game that allows you to play a're making fun of me!
Can't wait to see the Geek.Kon footage.
I'm currently talking with the organizers about allowing cameras inside the convention. I really hope they're going to be cool about this, otherwise I'll just have to take a bunch of pictures.
Nah, I'm not... I am however like the only person on the face of the earth that has played neither guitar hero nor Halo...

I have lost all my pop culture cred.
Guitar Hero is a blast. It's the perfect party game; like karaoke, only you don't have to coax anyone into playing. Addictive, fun alone or with friends and endlessly replayable. It's sold about a zillion copies and won numerous 'Game of the Year' awards. Play it at your local Best Buy, and watch all of your free time disappear.
I keep threatening to buy it, but I always wind up getting distracted by booze and forgetting.
With Guitar Hero, you can incorporate it with booze!
While the Guitar Hero tournament starts at 10am on Saturday, I wanted to mention that I'll be there at 9am to watch MST3K's 'Jack Frost' in the auditorium beforehand. One of the best episodes of the best TV show of all-time.

This is all taking place in the Humanities building on campus, by the way.
I played Halo once ten years ago. I was killed a lot.
When it comes to first-person shooters, I'm the old guy that wore himself out on Wolfenstein, Doom & Quake until 3am every night in 1993. I didn't really play any other ones until the Resident Evil series many, many years later. Still though, I'm quite aware that Halo is amazing.

Once I realized that I had an addictive and obsessive personality, I knew I had to stop playing those games for the greater good, and focus on something more Guitar Hero. is the coolest and most realistic role-playing game ever, as far as I'm concerned.
I used to play DOOM a lot at school, but even those rad graphics used to make my friends pentium 60 quiver like a fish.

And now that I think of it, it was probably Quake not Halo. Where does the time go?

And I seriously had to go cold turkey on Command & Conquer, and Starcraft That was the only time in my marriage my wife threatened me with a divorce.

She could have been serious too.


I should start a weekly column on random old man moments from my Neo-Ludd partner. Today we were on the boat having a nice lesierly run when he turns to me and says "What the hell is a carbon foot print anyway" Only he didn't say hell and he kind of yelled in that oh so singularly elderly way.

I laughed my ass of the chair.
BluStaCon - Start the column. Once he starts talking about wearing an onion on his belt, you'll be garnering millions of hits.

The top 3 causes of divorce are 1) Having an affair, 2) Money issues, and 3) Video Games/Monopoly.
We both know that Monopoly will end a marriage well before money issues.
Oh, they're not listed in order of severity. Playing Monopoly with your wife is about the dumbest freaking thing you can possibly do.
Long story, short...

I went to Vegas when I was 18 with about 10 other under-21 friends for a bowling trip. We couldn't really do much as the adults that took us left us in the hotel that was well off the strip while they gambled the night away. We walked to the nearest Walgreens (about a mile down the road) and purchased Monopoly for $19.95.

We were playing for about two hours when one of the friends started taking the game personally. Words were had, punches were thrown, and feelings were hurt. Two weeks later, TWO WEEKS!!! , our friend enlisted in the army. He was later honorably discharged and we have yet to talk to him since that trip.

Moral of the story?

Monopoly is played in every dorm room at Duke.
Good Lord. When will people learn?

I can see Monopoly's butthole, clear as day.
Wow! Monopoly is powerful. I should play more often. Best way to get rid of unwated friends.
Battleship is also dangerous to relationships.
I once beat the CDP at Monopoly in less than 15 minutes. To this day, I refuse him a rematch.
Battleship is bad, too. The common bond is that eventually, someone gets accused of cheating, and the flood gates just open.

I want that re-match. I know it's going to hurt me, but I want it.
You get no rematch, Foley!
That is so true about Monopoly I love the game enough to not take it seriously or hold a grudge, but my wife still refuses to play with me. I always buy the purple properties and pretend I'm a slum lord.
I instantly take Boardwalk and Park Place, which is the board game equivalent of buying a lottery ticket. It NEVER works.
The secret is in the railroads, my friends.

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