Monday, October 15

You Missed Your One Chance To Ruin Everything.

The CDP Is Taking A Vacation From You.

The CDP is technically still on vacation. Please sound off in the comments section and enjoy your Monday, as I catch up and prepare to tell you how I spent my last three days.

Thank you.

Comments:
I have never been the first comment on a CDP post. I am so amazing at LIFE.

Is that Lake Michigan you are posing near?
 
I like a do da cha cha.
 
That's quite a picture. I assume that is Lake MI.

And I hope the Cooper made it through the adventure unscathed. Because car mis-adventures are no fun at all.

And, yes, I'm at work too early!
 
Cargirl wins first comment of the day. As a prize, I shall punch her just before she eats (best Digital Short ever).

JOVI PUNCH!

While I believe that this particular photo was shot by Green Bay (correct me if I'm wrong, Missus), I have many other photos of myself acting like an ass in front of Lake Michigan. It is my hope they will be up and sexy by tomorrow morning.

FULL RECOVERY!

Dude, the MINI Cooper was made to drive the winding roads and hills of Door County. Every second was like some pretentious car commercial.

MURDER!
 
Punched Before You Eat.

This short is awesome because Andy is pretty much the ultimate YouTube guy. He gets to do these quirky, internet-humor things that make little to no sense to most, but it's happening on SNL, the greatest humor & pop culture stage in the world. AND he gets paid for it.
 
The picture was shot in front of Sister Bay.
 
What's unfortunate about the photo is that my stupid work PC garbles that picture so you can't see what's spray-painted on the cement below you...
 
"No drowning."


lulz.
 
Can someone explain to what the heck CDP's on about?

Oh and when do we get to have to cat competition? 'Cos I got a picture of a particular ginger one. This is how people should be spending their teen years. Takeing pictures of cats and sending them to America.

My life ()W^z
 
And did they listen to any CDP Mixes on their road trip?
 
The sign under me in the photograph says "No drowning."

I'm hereby scrapping the cat thing, because it's something the Missus wanted to do. If she wants to do it, she can do it on her page (The Girl From Mars), and you can e-mail them to her. Besides, it's been way too long since she updated that damn thing.

If I could, I'd be sending stuff to the UK all the time. Sadly, you have nothing we want.

We didn't listen to any CDP mixes, but I'm starting to get into them a little bit more. I'm not through with doing an overall recap; look for that in the near future.
 
Speaking of mix-tapes, I just received mine from Kenny in the mail!
 
The CDP hates your cats.
 
Way to go, JT! I found out a few days ago, and kept it a closely-guarded secret.

I only got 1 cat photo, so it's not like the doors are getting kicked in or anything. If you want to do this, send your cat photos to the Missus. (Julia, she already has yours!)
 
The CDP hates your cats, but the Missus loves them and wants to kiss their snoots. Send all cat snoot photos to celiazeinert@yahoo.com
 
Oh, sure, I'm the only who shares pictures of their cats! Apparently I have too much free time.
 
Hey, you're not the one begging to see pictures of other people's cats...haha.
 
A few people showed interest but didn't do it, yet. The idea looked dead in the water (which happens sometimes), but the Missus is serious about this.

Okay. I dig it.
 
Never speak of cats and dead in the water in the same sentence again.
 
Sorry. It reminds me of the time I worked at a gas station, and during an especially busy period, I told my boss the "the gas pumps were blowing up."

He didn't take it too well.
 
Nice "I summon Cthulhu from the depths" pic.

I'm ashamed to say that Samberg's skit was the only one of the night I lol'd at during Saturday night's SNL. Mainly because of Dave Grohl going for a fry pre-punch - and the ZOMBIES. I love zombies. About as much as I normally I hate Andy Samberg. I DO love that Chris Parnell turned up on last week's 30 Rock, though.

My cat is the embodiment of evil incarnate. I can send a pic of her, but I can't guarantee that said photo won't steal your soul in exchange for some cursed catnip being proferred by Lucifer.
 
The Missus is convinced that one of our cats is trying to steal her soul. I think she actually cried about it once.

Yeah, the rest of SNL was complete fail, especially Sambora botching the monologue. And what was up with the Foo Fighters playing one song and Bon Jovi playing two? They should have just gave the entire show to Bon Jovi instead of disrespecting Grohl and company.

With Will Arnett making cameo appearances on 30 Rock, they should consider throwing Jason Bateman into the mix and changing the name to Arrested Development 2. I mean, it's pretty close to what AD was...you know, as close as we can hope for.
 
Believe it or not, mentioning bombs PRIOR to 9/11 was still a bad idea at the airport.

I was a naive 18-year-old boarding a flight to Vegas when I joked that I may have a bomb in my carry-on as it went through the z-ray machine. The airport staff reacted worse than Brett Favre seeing Sean Taylor in the secondary.

Yeah, I'm talking $hit after a loss. Deal with it.
 
No harm done.

I had a similar incident when my family flew to Kentucky when I was a kid. They searched my 5-year-old sister's fake purse, and I said something along the lines of, "Yeah right, like she's got a bomb in there or something."

You know what? They didn't think it was funny. I remember my mom using the term 'federal offense' many times during the reaming out I received.
 
About as much as I normally I hate Andy Samberg. I DO love that Chris Parnell turned up on last week's 30 Rock, though.

That's so funny, because I love Andy Samberg and despise Chris Parnell with every fiber of my being. When he used to rap on SNL, it took every ounce of self-control I had in me not to punch myself in the snoot repeatedly to calm the overwhelming feeling of rage building inside me.

Yep...I said snoot twice today.
 
I love Chris Parnell, he has such a smooth voice. I'm surprised he hasn't been picked up by Disney to do characters. How much more John Ratzenberger and Patrick Warburton can we take???

Yeah, thems' fightin' words
 
Parnell plays such a good greaseball. I also think he's a pretty fantastic rapper.
 
30 Rock kind of IS like Arrested Development 2: Arrested Boogaloo. (I try to cram as many Fark cliches as possible into your blog, so...forgive me.)

I have a hard time believing that Andy Samberg is actually funny. I can't be convinced. The most bust-a-gut funny thing I've seen him in was the quick skit for Swedish Chef ringtones. Saturday night's skit falls somewhere below Swedish Chef ringtones and The Chronic-les of Narnia on my list of tolerable Samberg SNL fare. Oh, and D*ck In a Box, but that could've been anybody and I would have found it hi-larious.
 
Nope...Chris Parnell is not funny. You will not convince me of it. Even SNL fired him once, possibly twice.
 

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