Friday, November 30

65 Poor Life Decisions - The CDP Book.

Click Here To Buy The Book!

There are two ways you can order copies of 65 Poor Life Decisions, my debut book:

1. Directly through Lulu, by clicking on the above link, banner link, OR THIS LINK. It's safe, secure and simple. Cost is $15.95. If you're feeling charitable, feel free to leave me a 5-star review or any kind words while you're there.

2. Directly through me, which includes a copy of the book, shipping to anywhere in the nation, autographs/personalization and free CDP merch. Cost is $21, and we will accept money orders or well-concealed cash (no checks).

Send the $21, along with a return address, name to make the book out to, and e-mail address for delivery confirmation, to:

theCDP.
PO Box 865
Sun Prairie, WI 53590


If you are requesting a copy through me, and you live outside of the United States, please send $25 to cover extra shipping charges. American money or International money orders only, please.

If you are paying via money order, please make orders out to Ryan Zeinert, not 'theCDP.' Also, while money orders are traceable and secure, I can't be held responsible if your cash payment doesn't make it to my PO Box.

Thank you so much in advance for liking my dumb little stories; I can't thank you enough. This is honestly one of the neatest days of my life, and I have each of you to thank. Cheers.

Buy The CDP Book Here!

UPDATE #1 - The almighty Kevin Palmer from PointlessBanter.net has put up a '5 Questions' interview with me concerning the release of the book. It's hilarious and informative, you can check it out right here!

UPDATE #2 - HoneyFlora over at 10 Links A Day has allowed me to guest blog and list my top 10 favorite humor sites on the web. I even give a shout out to CDP alumni Pork Tornado, Pointless Banter and the Cargirl News Minute! You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #3 - Cargirl over at the highly underrated and hard-working Cargirl News Minute has posted a brief reminder/plug for 65 Poor Life Decisions. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #4 - JT from Spork Nation posted one of my absolute favorite interviews concerning the book. It was done 'live chat' style and the questions were great. It's about as personal as I'll get in an interview, so please take a look at it if you want to read something slightly more insightful than what I'm used to. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #5 - Since we're going interview-crazy today, here's a good one conducted by Jesse Russell for Dane 101 awhile back. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #6 - Will Betheboy has been so kind as to plug 65 Poor Life Decisions on his blog. Now if I can only convince him to upload a photo of him or Nina kissing the book...hmmm... You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #7 - Kenny Frankly is plugging 65 Poor Life Decisions on her blog, Topping From The Bottom. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #8 - On Friday afternoon, I met up with a few friends, signed a few books and had a few drinks.

Release Party Coaster.

At least I know that my book is good for something.

UPDATE #9 - Maus from Idle Neatness posted a brief plug for 65 Poor Life Decisions, complete with sexy banners and links. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #10 - Vintage Caveman just put up a link to my site, a link to the book, and some kind words concerning 65 Poor Life Decisions. He's going the mail-order route; choosing to conceal his cash in a box of Mike-n-Ikes. I have the greatest fans in the world, hands down. You can check it out right here!

UPDATE #11 (12/03) - This weekend has been busy, but also very refreshing to my burnt out self. I'm amazed to say that I sold 30 books in the last three days, strictly hand-to-hand. What I mean is that I sold 30 books in person, not counting any online or mail orders. This is incredible to me, because I was quite certain that I wouldn't sell a total of 30 books.

With this good news in my pocket, I'm fully recharged and ready to spend all week fulfilling your mail order requests, as well as taking on more interviews and local press. Expect to see more of those in the upcoming days this week. I've been snowed in since Friday evening, but I'll be driving to the Post Office every single say, making sure that everything is being taken care of the instant it gets in my hands. It's the least I can do for such supportive and generous readers.

Now, send me some money, please. Rock Band for the PS2 comes out in 10 days.

UPDATE #12 - HeyDomsar just posted a fantastic (and lengthy) interview with yours truly over on his Milwaukee-based blog, Thought For The Day. This is a good one; You can check it out right here!

THIS POST WILL BE UPDATED THROUGHOUT THE WEEK WITH MORE INTERVIEWS, MORE PHOTOS AND MORE PRESS; KEEP CHECKING BACK FOR MORE STUFF CONCERNING THE RELEASE OF 65 POOR LIFE DECISIONS! (REGULAR CDP PROGRAMMING WILL RESUME SHORTLY.)


Comments: 1 – 200 of 205 Newer› Newest»
Bah, chicka wah wah. I'm so happy for you. This is a huge achievement!

Now, all that's left is for us to say a bunch of cliché things. Don't forget about us when you become famous! LOLz0rs
 
Yeah, if one more co-worker gives me the whole, "I hope you come back and visit when you're famous!" speech, I'm going to put my foot through their neck.

After they pay for the book, of course. I'm a businessman, first and foremost.
 
Thank you, by the way! You got First Post!
 
I couldn't sleep,it feels like I have a new grandchild.

Go to bed!
 
This is a new book; waaay better than a Grandchild.

This has to be the earliest comments to a post that I have ever received. Redonkulous.
 
Please mention to those outside the US that it must be either US currency or an INTERNATIONAL money order that they must send. Thanks.
 
Updated and fixed. Thanks for the reminder!
 
That interview was awesome, pointless banter makes my nipples hard.

I ordered the book from Lulu.com this morning, I thought about ordering it from you and having you trace your johnson in the front cover. But then I thought better of it.
 
Your loss, man.
 
Kevin, the tracing wouldn't have been to scale. The book is only 6x9.
 
Interview is up on Spork Nation. Would have had it up earlier, but I didn't sleep here last night.
 
Thank you so much for ordering the book, by the way!
 
I'm buying one for myself, and one as a Christmas gift. It's the perfect duo: give one, get one. I recommend EVERYBODY try it out.
 
Kenny's right. Give one, get one!

Thank you so much, Kenny!
 
Kevin, the tracing wouldn't have been to scale. The book is only 6x9.

pwned.
 
He set me up for that joke like a pro. We need to take this comedy show on the road; the French would love us.
 
Why no checks again? I have a fluffy bunny with your name all over it.
 
I have a fluffy bunny with your name all over it.

Is that some kind of innuendo?
 
Wait which one of us is Dean and which one of is Jerry?

H-Money... I have already seen it Ryan said he was going to send me a picture of his new watch. It was his junk wrapped around his wrist... I look at the picture and still can't figure out what time it is, what a crappy watch.
 
I can't even imagine how much work you put into this and for that I commend you.

Drinky, drinks when?
 
I'll take you up on that offer, julia. Then you can buy me porn and take me to a casino.
 
If it wasn't stupid supposed to stupid snow this stupid Saturday...
 
I'll take you up on that offer, julia. Then you can buy me porn and take me to a casino.

Ah, the wonders of jailbait!

(no offense intended, CG)
 
If it wasn't stupid supposed to stupid snow this stupid Saturday...

It's supposed to be a low of 50 here, which will be nice, because I'm deep-frying two turkeys and unveiling the new beer pong table!

Pictures Monday!
 
BLUSTACON - I can't take checks because they bounce and are unpredictable at times. Absolutely no offense to you or anything, I just couldn't have one deadbeat ruin it for everyone, even trusted folk like you.

I would have liked to seen that check, though.

KEVIN - What time is it? JUNK TIME.

JULIA - There's a good chance I'll be meeting up with some people at the High Noon Saloon this afternoon (4:30-ish) if you're in the area. Otherwise, I'd like to just meet up with you and your friends some weekend. Whatever works for you.

I wish everyone lived in Madison. I'd throw the mother of all release parties tonight. Instead, I'll be in my pajamas by 9:30.

CARGIRL - I'm 25; all of my cool birthdays are over with. You still have 17, 18 & 21 to look forward to. That's the holy trinity of sinful freedom, right there.
 
25 is cool because you can rent a car without a surcharge.
 
I still have my golden birthday to look forward to (27), whatever that means. I'm not sure what a golden birthday entails, but I sure hope it doesn't involve urine.
 
You people and your seasonable weather. I swear. It's currently a balmy 70 degrees and foggy in my little slice of paradise.




Ahem. Banner? How can I tell the world outside of the CDP network with no banner?? Huh? Huh-huh-huh?
 
JT - One of the last carnivourous dinners I ever ate was a deep-fried turkey, and it was about the greatest thing I have ever tasted. Try really hard not to burn the house down, but take pitcures either way.

I've been trying to avoid the 'Jailbait' word in reference to Cargirl for quite some time now, but...seriously. It's become unavoidable at this point. She told me that statutory rape was funny, for Christ's sake! Look me in the eye and tell me that's not funny!

Man, that Packer game was a combination of the worst and most bizarre football I've ever seen. Favre's streak might be over, the game was lost on a referee miscue, and Aaron Rogers almost pulled off the greatest Cinderella story in NFL history.
 
BLUSTACON - It's all I really have to look forward to at this point.

HATHERY - L.O.L. Hilarious; now it must be made so. Remind me to buy one of those rubber masks with the zipper mouth before I come home tonight.

My golden birthday was when I was 1, so I'm quite certain that I pissed myself at some point in the day.

MAUS - For some reason, I can't post the HTML link without it hyperlinking on me. If you can, copy and paste the black banner I'm using in this post, and link it to the following:

http://www.lulu.com/content/1385579

If that doesn't work, let me know and I'll try to remedy the situation ASAP this weekend.
 
Well, not to jinx myself, but this is probably abut the 20th time I've deep-fried turkeys, so it should be all good.
 
...famous last words from a future Darwin Award winner.

KA-BLOOOIE.

Looking at it from a meat-eating perspective, it's worth the danger, though.
 
For some reason, I can't post the HTML link without it hyperlinking on me

You'd have to post it inside one of those scrolling text boxes.
 
I have to work until 5, but since I work 3 blocks from the High Noon and that is my all time favorite Madison bar, I will probably swing on by. The way this day is going I already need a drink.
 
I will try the linky way later and see if it works out.
 
HATHERY - We can make the HTML thing happen this weekend. Thanks for the heads-up, sweets.

MAUS - Awesome! Thanks!

JULIA - Fantastic! If I am still there when you get there, please find me and introduce yourself. The first drink is on me.

I'll bring books!
 
HATHERY - If, for some reason, you don't have to head out of town tonight, you should be there, too!
 
I totally AM jailbait, you guys. But I cannot help who I am.

Can you tell the waves not to crash?
Can you tell the grass not to grow?
Can you tell a rainbow to not be colorful?
No! Such is Cargirl!



Boom, SNL refrence.
 
HATHERY - If, for some reason, you don't have to head out of town tonight, you should be there, too!

Will do!
 
Nice Mango reference, CG.

CDP - I'll start driving towards Madison right now for the book release party. Given favorable traffic conditions and taking into account the time change, I should make it by 1 AM.
 
JT - I'll leave the light on for you. Help yourself to anything in the fridge. I think there's some old Olive Garden stuff in there. Oh, and some honey mustard.

HATHERY - Awesome. Maybe Ben and Sherry, too? We'll call them on the off-chance that you're available and I stay there for more than an hour.

CARGIRL - Starting in January, I will be posting a 24/7 countdown until your 18th birthday.

It is 18 in Illinois, right?
 
CDP, I just got an affirmative email, so I will be going out 'o town this afternoon. So it's a no-go for me on the High Noon. Sorry! Would've liked to be there, though. I'm going to have to see if Sherry can come with me.
 
CDP - if you wake up to the sounds of someone playing Guitar Hero, swearing loudly, and crushing beer cans on his forehead, it's probably me.
 
Indeed, 'tis. But keep in mind, that the skank switch doesnt get flipped. The first thing I'm going to do is buy some cigarettes for a cool punk high schooler.

I'll be there In spirit tonight. Dedicate some 18+/21+ activities to me, in a completely non-dirty way.
 
Order placed, now I'll go wait by my mailbox.
 
That last comment was a response to the CDP's.
 
HATHERY - Okay, I'll fly solo tonight. Have fun, though!

JT - Damn, that would be hilarious. "Go back to bed, honey, it's just JT."

WILL - Thank you so much! Take pride in knowing that LA is the furthest destination my book will be traveling within the nation. That has to account for something, right?

CARGIRL - Yeah, I wasn't saying that you'd turn into a whore or anything; although that would be truly funny if everyone just turned into a smoking, porn-addicted, vote-aholic nymphomaniac the second they turned 18. All Incredible Hulk-like.

I'll have a girly drink in your honor. Venetian Sunset, anyone?
 
Damn, that would be hilarious. "Go back to bed, honey, it's just JT."

Damn, that reminds me of a funny story I'll have to write out and post next week.
 
Beautiful. I love to inspire.
 
No problem. I put up a quick post to pimp your book and promote a video my wife made.
 
Also, you auto generated thank you states:

"I can assure you that the royalties have already been spent on action figures, colored balloons and whiskey. I hope you understand."

Aren't all balloon's colored? If you blew up a transparent balloon you probably just inflated a condom.

P.S. - Don't give me none of that mylar crap, those aren't balloons at all.
 
Well, I'll do what I can to fufill your vision of a horribly self-destructive, 18-year-old Cargirl. I aim to please!
 
Aren't all balloon's colored?

Nope, I've seen transparent ones.
 
I always hate being the last CDPeon to comment...

I'm strapped for cash at the moment, but the second my allowence comes in, I'll wave goodbye to my cash, that I'll have carefully concealed in a box of 'Sugar Puffs'...

This delayed order will also assure me whether or not you'll take our money, then run away to Brazil to live the rest of your days as a crime overlord.

And we DO have excellent grilled cheese here in the UK!
 
And we DO have excellent grilled cheese here in the UK!

I KNEW it!
 
I bet you use breads and cheeses with hilarious names, too...Gouda, Pumpernickle...beh heh heh.
 
I wasn't going to say anything before this, but...well... you might as well know.

Chris Hansen is my Daddy.

Expect calls.

soon.
 
I bet they call it something weird, too, like something that means something else in america.
 
What's in a Venetian Sunset? Is it anything like a Tequila Sunrise? I simply must know!!



Mmmm...gouda. How about some Gloucester or Wensleydale?

By the way - great gift ideas for us 'Staters at thebritishshoppe.com
 
MAUS- I wish I could tell you. I really do. I wish I could socialize with my cronies over an appletini and peanuts.
 
I'd kill somebody in middle management for an Appletini or three right about now...

Or maybe just a homeless person?

Or I'd just leave work early?

Forget I said anything. I was never here...
 
WILL - Sorry about that. The idea of a transparent balloon is really disgusting to me. It's too late now, everyone who orders through Lulu will get a tainted Auto-Thanks.

CARGIRL - Everything in England means something terrible in America. Fanny. Fag. 'Knocking someone up.' I learned this the hard way many times.

CARROT - I cannot wait for that cereal box. Is that even legal to mail?

BLUSTACON - I tried so hard to avoid this, but I guess it was only a matter of time before I ended up on Dateline.

I'd better start packing my rectum with broken glass to ward off potential prison rapists.

MAUS - A Venetian Sunset is like...I can't really remember what it's like, but it's sparkly and colorful and refreshing and scarily easy to drink about 9 of.
 
Maus - Like most drinks, there are about 2.6 billion ways to make a Venetian Sunset. Since CDP won't tell you his version, here's mine:

2 parts gin
1 part orange liquer (I use Grand Marinier)
1 part Campari
1 part dry vermouth

Not a big fan myself, but I'm a beer guy.
 
Yummy. I'll get one tonight in celebration.






Celebration of being TOTALLY GAY! Oh, SNAP!
 
No manly drink has more than three ingredients, including ice.
 
That's hilarious and true. My manly drink of choice is Jameson and 7up on the rocks. Period.
 
I think it's funny how boys don't want to drink girly drinks, no matter how tasty they are, because they think it somehow affects their manhood. My boyfriend will want one, but will refuse to order one, and will then proceed to drink all of mine. It's just booze!

I like my drinks manly though. Crown and Coke for me, thank you very much.
 
I just don't like sweet drinks, unless it's for breakfast (which is why I drink Sparks for breakfast during football season.)

My drinks are, in descending order:

1. Scotch. Neat.
2. Gin and tonic
3. PBR

I drink PBR most of the time, just because it's cheaper than Scotch, and less of a hassle than gina and tonic.
 
'Everything in England means something terrible in America. Fanny. Fag. 'Knocking someone up.' I learned this the hard way many times.'

Hehe...

...'learned'...
 
My favorite is a Cuba Libre (rum, coke, and a little twist of lime. It's the lime that makes it).

I like beer, too, but when I started drinking we were into microbrews. If you started with something like Fat Tire, PBR nor Bud will never cut it.

I'd recommend Fat Tire, Abbey, Blue Moon Belgian White, and Shiner Bock to those other beer drinkers with sophisticated tastes.
 
JT - gina and tonic is always a hassle because Gina don't fit in the glass.
 
Thanks, JT!! My husband is fond of gin and tonics (a bottle of Bombay Sapphire is a staple at my house). Personally, I'll order a melon ball in most bars except the ones where the bartender gives me a blank look...then I have the choice or rum and coke, or patronizing another bar. The good old standby for beer is always Guiness - I don't think I've ever even had PBR. Is that strange? Am I to be shamed and cast out from the CDPosse now?
 
"it's cheaper than Scotch, and less of a hassle than gina and tonic"

Seeing as my name is Gina, I had to jump on this one...I think my husband (MikeHoss) would agree. Anything is less of a hassle than Gina and tonic.

Congrats on the book, by the way! I'm sure one of us will be sending you money as soon as we can find our way to the post office.
 
JULIA - Not me. I'll drink the gayest drink you can pour me. "Rainbow unicorn kisses? I'll take two!"

CARROT - I don't even know if you're kidding, which is the amazing part.

JT - Yeah, it all depends on if you want to drink, or if you want to get drunk, I suppose.

HOSS - I agree. I mainly only drink New Glarus microbrews nowadays. Spotted Cow for me.

WILL - Gina's a good time, but you'll sure regret it in the morning.
 
No problem. I put up a quick post to pimp your book and promote a video my wife made.

Your wife has a blog?
 
Mike - for the record, I have sophisticated beer tastes, I just don't have a sophisticated beer budget. I don't work 2 jobs because I enjoy never being home. Lion Stout and Brooklyn Brown are my two favorite beers, taste-wise. Blue Moon is too sweet for my tastes.

However, from a "tastes decent, but less than $7 a 12-pack" standpoint, there is nothing wrong with PBR.

Will - I have exceptionally large glasses at my house, but she does complain about the bubbles in the tonic.
 
CARROT- There is a chocolatier company around here called Fanny Farmer

Yeah, just like it sounds.
 
MAUS - PBR is very...Milwaukee. JT will tell you everything you need to know.

GINA - Thank you so much, and welcome aboard! Don't be a stranger!

BLUSTACON - That was my biggest laugh of the day. It's better than a callback joke, it's a BLOG callback joke. Amazing!

JT - Oh yes. PBR is a beer that tastes like beer, costs what beer should cost, and does to you what beer should.
 
I think in England, Fanny Farmer is a magazine they keep hidden in the very top row.

Gosh...am I going to have to launch a CDP Message Board in 2008?
 
You saw what I did there? huh? bluh? whooo!
 
CDP - In Britain, learning means 'a whales vagina'.

BLU - ...please tell me they sell some sort of meat...

...just please...
 
Well Played Mr. BluStaCon, well played.
 
Well, it's official. November 2007 was the most popular month in CDP history. We just had our 12,000th visitor a few minutes ago. Wow.

Wowie-wow-wow!

If only I could sell 12,000 books. I think I'd soil myself on camera for that kind of attention.
 
CARROT- only candy my friend, only candy.

WTF BTW why would Britains need to have another name specifically for a whale's vagina?
 
He's got to be kidding. Wasn't that a scene in Anchorman?
 
I was so happy the day I found out Fat Tire finally came to Madison. Yay beer!

Also, I will never, ever think of Fanny Farmer the same again.
 
Damn you CDP! You spoiled my hilarious pop-culture reference.

I've been waiting to say 'a whales vagina' for about 8 months...

...so worth it...
 
Yeah, I totally understand what you guys are talking about. In my spare time, I like tonwatch the ice melt in my fourth gin & tonic, and eventually the road. I also enjoy the occasional tequila binge on a lonely Friday night.
 
Sorry, Carrot. I didn't think I had the reference correct. Dumb luck.

CARGIRL - Alcohol isn't nearly as fun as it seems. Neither is voting, gambing, strippers, cigarettes, R-rated movies, porn, bars, swinger parties, 18-and-over concerts, making hotel reservations, renting a car and paying a thousand bills a month.
 
That sucks. I was totally looking forward to getting drunk and going to a swinger party at Jenna Jamison's house.
 
So was I.









I fought that comment with every damn fiber of my being, but I just couldn't hold back. I'm so, so sorry.
 
I'm sure I'll forgive you eventualy. Your wife on the other hand may feel differently about doing so.
 
I fought that comment with every damn fiber of my being, but I just couldn't hold back. I'm so, so sorry.

You can get a rubber casting of her nonny at the adult goods shop.
 
Well, I'm not saying that you PERSONALLY can, but people in GENERAL can. :)
 
Oh man, this conversation needs to end in a big hurry. I think there was a slight misunderstanding, and I'm not even going to correct it.

Proof that I'm not a pig = I'm blushing right now.
 
WTF???? I'm not reading through the hundred or so comments here just to figure out where the celebration drinking is happening. I don't even know how to read.

Spill it.

Is this a fake hangup?

It's a fake hangup.
 
It happened because the CDP drinks girly drinks, and everyone started to compare their drink of choice (I think???)
 
KENNY - Me and Comp will be meeting up at the High Noon at 4:15. Interested?
 
Alright, kids...have a great weekend. CDP - best of luck with book sales. I once again forgot to mail off my cash.

I'm going to open up a PBR, rewire a lightswitch in my toolshed, and finish construction on the beer pong table.
 
You too, JT. Thanks for the interview and good luck with the turkey explosion.

Comment #100!
 
I'm going to open up a PBR, rewire a lightswitch in my toolshed, and finish construction on the beer pong table.

You'd hardly know he was from the South, would you?
 
My sides hurt. That was funny.
 
Damn straight. I'll be there at 4:45p.
 
Perfect.

I'm leaving the office now, so I'll probably be away from my computer until later this evening.

Before I go, however, I just want to really, sincerely thank everyone for stopping in, saying hello, buying the book, promoting the CDP and being overall amazing people. I don't want to get all fruity or anything, but this is a big day for me, and it wouldn't have meant anything without your help. Thank you.
 
Awww, the CDP loves us!

I'm at Midas right now, and I think they are playing the guitar hero soundtrack.
 
Dear the CDP,
Sorry I have not sent in my money yet. I have terrible medical condition called "having no money". Please reserve my copy, and feel free to start the inscription because I'll have the cash around late today.
.
.
boner
.
.
love,
Caveman
 
Y'all best not have drunk driven home!

Then again, if you guys can do it and be safe, then I probably can too, right? Totally.
 
Man, what a work out, my scrolling finger is going to be SORE tomorrow after making it to the bottom of yesterday and today's posts.

Money order bought - check.
Envelope adressed and stamped - check.
Getting off my lazy arse to drop it at the P.O. - working on it.

Seriously though, it should be mailed off tomorrow sometime, probably after I finish reading the Golden Compass trilogy.

On another note, my previous moderate views on the Catholic Church have been replaced with subtle athiestic indoctrination. I have no idea how this happened. Crazy.

Keep the nuns away.
 
GODOT - I was raised Catholic, and I turned out just fine....er...

Thank you so much for buying my book!

CARGIRL - I did not drink and drive. Even I know that's really wrong. In fact, I drank Sprite. Nummy.

I met Julia; it was awesome! I need to find time to hang out with her again when it's not so crazy; I barely had a chance to talk to her.
 
I don't actually have any issue with the Catholic Church, I was just referring to the ricockulous hooplah surrounding the Golden Compass movie/book and its boycott by some Catholic/Christian groups. Catholics are good peoples.

Nuns still scare me though.
Monks, oddly enough, not so much. Its probably all the chanting that makes the difference. That and the fact that Whoopi never played a monk.
 
CDP- I wore my W3Go 2 Africa shirt to school today so I would remember to pick one up for you, and they were all out of Small Pink/Whites. I ordered one, and it should be about a week(ish).

So you'll have to wait a little bit longer for your awesome package of fun.

GODOT- Nuns are scary. I had a nun as a principal from first to third grade, and she was the same size I I and the other children were, and I was always afraid to touch her because she was hella old and her skin looked like the tissue paper that department stores wrap their clothes in when they give you a box.
 
I'm going to open up a PBR, rewire a lightswitch in my toolshed, and finish construction on the beer pong table.

PBR opened? Check.
Beer Pong table? 75% done.
Light switch? Ehhh...tomorrow.
 
You can't hang up on a nun. They have eerie powers!
 
Has the whole of America died or something?

Where is everyone?
 
GODOT - Being raised Catholic filled me with guilt and regret that I'm still shaking off at the age of 25. Don't worry about offending me!

CARGIRL - I will wait patiently for your package. We're pretty much snowed into Headquarters, so it's all I can do to pass the time.

JT - 2 outta 3 ain't bad!

CARROT - Pretty much; didn't you hear about that horrible gas leak? We lost the entire west coast!
 
Where is everyone?

Didn't you know that we Americans only go on the internet during work or school, respectively? :)

It's the weekend--time to sleep!
 
Getting off my lazy arse to drop it at the P.O. - working on it.

I see a stack of books right now, one with your name on it.... :)
 
I ordered my book nearly 36 hours ago, why isn't it here?
 
Do you like hot tamales?

@will I could of totally replaced the word book in your sentence with another b-word, but I've used that b-word so many times it's lost it's classiness.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
I've been forced to hyperlink.
 
Awesome, I'm adding this photo to the post.
 
I put up a post with a link to the Lulu site over on my blog for the handful of people who read my ramblings (two of whom were directed there from the CDP, so thank you if I forgot to mention it before). By the end of the weekend I'll have the banner posted at least one other place.

And YAAAAY for updates!
 
I was thinking the same exact thing when Jesse put his drink on the book "Hmm., I guess we know it's good for something at least." haha. How I jest--we love Jesse, and the book is good for many things: kindling, frisbee, paper weight, adding to your bookshelf in a futile attempt to appear well-read, etc. Above all though, it's good for entertainment.
 
I don't actually have any issue with the Catholic Church, I was just referring to the ricockulous hooplah surrounding the Golden Compass movie/book and its boycott by some Catholic/Christian groups. Catholics are good peoples.



It's not like they don't have a point though. Pullman wrote them specifically as a counterpoint to Lewis's Narnia series. (which as I recall had as much hooplah from secularists about it's pro-christian themes.) His underlying theme was that Lucifer was right and was unjustly cast from Heaven.

The Catholic church was targeted as the enemy in his series and is portrayed in a less than favorable way.


I'm not Catholic. i find some of their customs very different, but casting them as medeval villians is getting old.
 
Yeah, they should be cast as the drunk, gambling, closet homosexual child molesters that they really are.


lulz.



Totally freaking kidding. No e-mails, please.
 
I'm a lapsed Catholic...I still have nightmares.
 
Cat of the month on my Cat Fancy cat calendar: The Japanese Bobtail! Does it get any cuter? I submit that it does not!
 
I thought about putting up a placeholder post this morning just to have a new place to comment, but I'd much rather blow this one way out of proportion.

I'm prepared. Ready, poised and waiting for the mail order requests.
 
Ahem...Japanese Bobtail???
 
Awww. Japanese Bobtails are cuuuute. I love that they only come in maybe three traditional colors or something like that, and they have those stumpy tails. Almost as good as a round rumped Manx. I'm partial to Scottish Folds, myself - those perfect round faces and big eyes.
 
Yup, I prefer my cats to look as adorably Anime as possible. The rounder, the better.
 
Almost as good as a round rumped Manx.

Best...sentence...ever.
 
No doubt.

Look, the CDP All-Time Record for comments in a single post is 153. If we find a non-cheating way to beat that record today, I promise to put something new up tomorrow.
 
When you talk about cats you can get away with a lot that would normally get you slapped.
 
Ha-ha, I just realized how the changing of one word would have caused quite the argument around the CDP homestead. Good looking out, Blu.

I've updated the post again, this time with a great interview with Domsar. CHECK IT OUT!
 
WILL- In American History today, we talked about W.B.E. DuBois, and I thought of you.

CDP- A non-cheating way to reach 153? Do I sense a musical sing-along? A series of "top 5" lists?

I'm a big fan of My Fair Lady.
 
Let me clarify on my last post.

W.B.E. DuBois, pronounced W-B-E-da-boy.
 
Ha-ha, I just realized how the changing of one word would have caused quite the argument around the CDP homestead. Good looking out, Blu.

Whaaaaa?
 
I don't get iteithr, Hathery.
 
HATHERY - I said about cats, "Yup, I prefer my cats to look as adorably Anime as possible. The rounder, the better."

But Blu had his head in the gutter. The beautiful, soft, bountiful, hemispherical gutter of amazement and wonder that calms and quiets me on a daily basis.

I'm still talking about cats, by the way.

CARGIRL - BeDaBoy. Awesome.

I agree with you; I propose another round of Monday Top 5 Lists. I'll get us started.

Last 5 Songs I've Listened To On My iPod:

1. Juiceboxxx - Sweat
2. Klaxons - Atlantis To Interzone
3. Lifetime - Somewhere In The Swamps Of Jersey
4. Matthew Sweet - Sick Of Myself
5. MGMT - Kids
 
I see. I think I get the joke now. Boobles.

My iPodron is empty, but I'm currently listening to Neil Young's "Harvest" in my car.
 
1. Summer - The Jane Anchor
2. Neighborhood #1 - Arcade Fire
3. Christmas Bells - RENT
4. Out Tonight - RENT
5. Life Support - RENT

I was getting my RENT on on the way to school this morning.
 
Neighborhood #1 is the ultimate 'first snowfall of the year' song. I'm going to listen to that right now, as a matter of fact, and try really hard not to get all misty in my office.

One of my absolute favorite songs of all-time, hands down, no fooling.

"Where is the RENT? I must have the RENT! Pennies, nickels, quarters, I need them all right now..."

(Behind The Laughter; one of the best episodes of The Simpsons in the last 10 years.)

Hathery, how is that Neil Young album? What's the scoop?
 
(Behind The Laughter; one of the best episodes of The Simpsons in the last 10 years.)

Why do you lie the way you do?

The Neil Young album is fantastic, as you would expect.
 
It won an Emmy!

I'm glad you like it; it's a shame that this is the first Neil Young album we've purchased.

I'm listening to Laika right now!

Okay, new list for the 3 people that are hanging out here today:

Top 5 Good Bands You Tried To Get Into, But Just Couldn't (besides Arcade Fire, Hathery):

1. Radiohead
2. Fugazi
3. The National
4. Ween (although I really like a few of their songs)
5. The Psychedelic Furs
 
1. The Velvet Revolver
2. Fugazi
3. Rilo Kiley
4. Queens of the Stone Age
5. The Velvet Teen
 
I'm hanging out, just lurking because...hmm...to be delicate, the food I ate last night is more of a colon cleanser than nourishment, so I'm alternating between laying in my bed, wishing for death, and spending quality time with my porcelain throne, wishing for death.

1. Ween
2. Ben Folds Five (or solo)
3. Anything by Bela Fleck
4. Neutral Milk Hotel
5. Garth Brooks
 
I feel so bad about those. They all seem great.

Top Five Things You'd Rather Be Doing...

1. Eating
2. Playing Guitar Hero
3. Pwning n00bz on WoW
4. Patrick Dempsey
5. Shopping
 
Velvet Revolver - Yup; I don't even know if they're really all that good anyways.

Fugazi - Yup.

Rilo Kiley - Again, not worth your time. I've heard every album and seen them live, and it never clicked with me. Jenny Lewis is...not for me.

QOTSA - Fair enough. I far prefer Josh Homme's side project, The Eagles Of Death Metal.

The Velvet Teen - As much as I want to tell you to duck and cover from the Missus, I understand what you're saying (and so will she). The thing about TVT is that it's hard to find a specific jump-in point, because their albums vary so much in style. Sure, it's always the signature TVT sound, but I would agree that they are a hard band to get into (unless you live with someone who loves them to death).
 
P.S.- Feel better JT!
 
CDP- I enjoy TEoDM
 
JT - Gosh, feel better.

Neutral Milk Hotel takes some patience at times, but it's worth it. I know what you mean, though.

CARGIRL'S LIST:

1. Enjoying a vegetable panini at Einstein's Bagels.
2. Stuffing mailorder book requests in my home office.
3. Playing Guitar Hero III/Rock Band (tried it out at Best Buy; excited as hell).
4. Taking a time machine to Thursday, where my book release will be mentioned in the newspaper.
5. Oh, what the hell. Tina Fey.
 
And that, my friends, is a new comment record.

Next stop, 200!
 
CDP-
1. Veggie Paninis @ EB are ambrosial. I enjoy them a lot.
2. I want to get that damn shirt so I can send you your package and get my book. That will be an amazing day.
3. I'm jealous. I think I'm going to make my way to a Best Buy sometime very soon (like, today) and try it out for myself.
4. I want to see scans!
5. I'm glad I got this out of you.
 
I have like 20 things I'd rather be doing right now. The top 5 include:

1. Sleeping
2. Drinking, heavily
3. Finishing up 65 Poor Life Decisions. I'm more than half way!
4. Working on my final presentation for Women in Society. Not because I would enjoy it, but because the fact that I don't have it even started and it is due next Monday is stressing me right out.
5. Knitting. I should never tell myself that I am giving knitted Christmas presents, because I inevitably run out of time to knit them. I promised my Mom though!
 
1. Are you kidding me? I didn't even know you had an EB down there. Bizarre.
2. And I the same.
3. It was awesome. The idea of playing fake guitar and half-singing at the same time is just...(shudder). Wave Of Mutilation is on the song list! The original!
4. I'll post any press my book receives, Scout's Honor.
5. I'll pay for this in spades. The Missus wants to do Reggie Bush though, so we're even.
 
JULIA- I wish I could knit. I used to think I could crochet, until I saw the horrified look on my mom's face when I made her a scarf one year, and she knew she would have to wear the hideous thing.

I no longer crochet.
 
Since today was decorate the office for _________ (name your holiday of choice - we're required to acknowledge them all), I've gotten nothing work-related accomplished. So I say, why start now?

Top Five Things I'd Rather Be Doing...

1. Napping
2. Reading
3. Watching Tin Man
4. Clive Owen
5. Finishing up the Christmas shopping
 
Julia is hard at work! I hope you're enjoying the book, you might be the first person to finish it. Please don't give away the surprise twist ending!





(Hint: I'm really a woman.)
 
Top 5 I'd rather be doing:

1. Holding down solid food.
2. Holding down liquids.
3. Taking a hot shower.
4. Working, for God's sake
5. Billy D. Williams

Also, thanks for the well wishes, y'all. Much appreciated.
 
Now all I can think about is you and Billy Dee pouring bottles of Colt 45 all over each other's glistening chests.

Sorry, I'm not helping your illness at all. In fact, I think I have one now, too.
 
JT - have you tried popsicles? This is assuming you have someone to get them for you, if you don't have any on hand. My son just had some sort of monster stomach virus recently, and that was one of our solutions to the fact that he couldn't even keep down water and kept trying to eat the ice chips.

I always fall back to dry toast and ginger ale.

Hope you feel better soon.
 
RAZZLE DAZZLE!
 
Buttered toast and 7up for me.
 
Maus - thanks for the suggestion. When either the girlfriend or the roommate gets ome from work, I may have them go on a popsicle run.

CDP - Yikes.
 
Currently homegenizing wire harness hardware on one of our boats so you don't need three different screwdrivers to take the stuff down.

It's more fun than it sounds


Top Five things I get to do later:

1. Play army guys with my son
2. Have tea party with daughters
3. change stinky diaper on little one
4. Watch Charlie Brown Christmas
5. Finish joint compound in sunroom
 
Can I just say that Rock Band is the best video game I've ever played. I spent the entire Thanksgiving weekend with a buddy in North Carolina beating it. The song choices are excellent and I actually felt like I could play real drums now kinda. I'm still excited about that weekend. Good times.

Also, what in the world? You guys don't like Jenny Lewis and Rilo Kiley? Are we talking about the same person/band? I simply don't understand.
 
Finish joint compound in sunroom

Less fun than it sounds
 
Jenny Lewis is a red head. Enough said.

And aside from the joint compound thing and stinky diapers (I don't miss those days), Blustacon's list of "must do's" sounds pretty kick-ass.
 
darn straight man. I'll hang rock all day if some one else would come and plaster.
 
You're a busy dude. Happy, but busy.
 
I can't wait until Rock Band is in my living room. If you can nail the drums on Expert, you're damn close to establishing the rhythm to rock an actual kit, no doubt.

Sorry about Jenny Lewis. I have my reasons, but I also understand her appeal. I dig that the kid from Salute Your Shorts plays guitar.
 
CDP- I know, it's enough to make me pretend to like them.
 
I WILL BE IN MY LIVE VIDEO CHAT ROOM TONIGHT, FROM 5-6 PM CENTRAL TIME!

Again, no formal announcement, so if 2 or 3 people can pop it and keep me company while I'm stuffing mailorder envelopes, that would rule.
 
You're a busy dude. Happy, but busy.


I must admit, I'm a handy man. Handy, not handsy. That doesen't happen until after a few drinks.
 
OMG- an EST friendly chat! Rawsome!
 
Yeah, I've got some things to do in the office from 5-6pm Central, and I thought it might be fun to wrangle a few people up for a chat.



'Wrangle?' Wow, I really should eat something.
 
Cargirl- You're kicking my ass all over the place. I wish I got to study DuBois in high school. Instead, I got to have my first taste whilst in graduate-level snooty college courses like "Modern Critical Theory" and "Visual Culture and Critical Race Theory". The black girls in that last class HATE ME. DuBois was awesome, though. He said, "I do not give a damn for any art not used as propaganda" which I always thought was a pretty kick ass quote.
BTW, it's W.E.B., not W.B.E. It ruins your BeDaBoy thing, for which I apologize.
 
That's a great quote. It's what creativity is all about, really. Making people see things your way.
 
The Velvet Teen - As much as I want to tell you to duck and cover from the Missus, I understand what you're saying (and so will she).

Nope, I cannot understand. Judah Nagler produces magic, in every sense of the word. Whatever album you tried to listen to (probably Cum Laude?), try a different one. Try Elysium...it's easily one of the most beautiful albums ever recorded.

End lecture :)
 
Thanks for thinking of me regardless, I'm glad someone does.
 
Thanks for thinking of me regardless, I'm glad someone does.

Billy Joel does.
 
You May Be Right
 
HATHERY- I'll try. But it's like when I pretended to like Fall Out Boy even though I thought they sucked. It just might not work out for me. Still, for the sake of trusting your taste, I'll give them another shot.

(P.S., I'm glad you're so understanding.)

CDP- I'll be in the v-chat fer sure. All you older boys better watch out!

Kenny- I had a feeling I was spelling it wrong. If you say it out loud, W.E.B. DuBois still works out. Even better than before, if you think about it. The fact of the matter is that it's DuBois, who is indeed awesome. Nice quote.

I kicked ass at speech team today; I threw down in and Impromptu Speech battle.

Just wanted you all to know how awesome I am.
 
(You see what I did there?)
 
WILL- Billy Joel, and I.
 
You May Be Right

See...you love him so much you can even come up with an appropriate song title to fit the situation. Will= biggest Billy Joel fan ever.
 
Urgh...

...so many comments...

MAUS - Jenny Lewis is a red head!? You mean to tell me we can become famous!? I find that somewhat hard to believe after 14 years in a cruel, gingerist world.

Top 5 things that everyone you seem to know is able to do except you:

1) Whistle
2) Cross your eyes
3) Play rugby
4) Have the courage to punch someone in the face
5) Get chicks.

Not in order. Or slightly funny...
 
*in an Impromptu Speech Battle.


And Will, I see what you did. Clever.
 
HATHERY- I'll try. But it's like when I pretended to like Fall Out Boy even though I thought they sucked. It just might not work out for me. Still, for the sake of trusting your taste, I'll give them another shot.

The Velvet Teen is like learning to drink fine wine...you need to acquire a taste for it, but once you do, you can't get enough.

Now that I've officially made myself vomit with this metaphor (is it a metaphor?), let me go on the record as agreeing with Cargirl...Fallout Boy DOES suck.
 
Carrot Duff's List:

1) Drink
2) Hire prostitutes
3) Smoke
4) Gamble
5) Buy Porn


I don't necessarily want to do any of those, but knowing that I can't is kinda of depressing.
 
MAUS - Jenny Lewis is a red head!?

She sure as heck wasn't when we saw her play with Nada Surf in 2001.
 
Fallout Boy DOES suck.

Amen, sistah. I went through a few months of weird tween-y punk-ism when I thought I liked Fall Out Boy, but I soon enough realized they really, really do suck.
 
She wishes she were a redhead; she's not even cool enough to be born with lack of pigment.

CARROT - Do you hang around with a lot of hooligans? That's what it sure sounds like.

Don't try to save me.

LIVE VIDEO CHAT FROM 5-6PM CENTRAL TIME!
 
I'm British. We're all hooligans.

No not really. It just seems I'm slightly less exciting and risk-takeing than most of them.

...

But I do have double-jointed thumbs. Win some, loose some.
 
I don't know if that was a play on words or not, but it was hilarious.
 
Hathery - I hate the Billy Joel but I've given him a listen. Years of listening in fact...I grew up not far from where he grew up so Billy's like the patron saint of Long Island musicians, you can't avoid him...I know all the songs and I hate myself for it.

Cooler Musicians with Ties To My Hometown:

Lou Reed
Sterling Morrison
Maureen Tucker
John Coltrane
Everyone but Billy Joel who ever played a note

Not to mention Pat Benetar. Love is a battlefield bitches.
 
I find that somewhat hard to believe after 14 years in a cruel, gingerist world.

The US likes redheads. They only drown them at birth in England. Probably because they think they're Irish.
 
200?
 
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