Friday, June 15

4.25 Out Of 100 Stars.

I'm Grilling Out Tonight.

For your viewing consideration, here is yet another overwhelmingly positive CDP review. I don't know who these people are or what they will eventually want from me, but it made my day and caused me to swagger around the office for a few hours, until I was ushered aside by security for 'making a scene.'

Oh, they use my real name in here for some reason, so please try to refrain from showing up on my porch with a severed cat head. Carry on.

Check Out The Glowing Review HERE!

Thanks, and enjoy your weekend. Me and the Missus start a 4-day weekend that culminates with our 3rd Anniversary on the 19th. We're unplugging the phone, and plugging it right back in again, because we might miss an emergency or something. That's just irresponsible.

The editing stage of the CDP Book is in its infancy, and thrusting me into the inner layers of hell. Pray for me.

Wednesday, June 13

More Like, "House On The Crock!"

The House On The Rock.

Last weekend, we headed out to the House On The Rock for about the hundredth time in my life. As usual, the visit proved to be both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time; much like a visit to Six Flags or downtown Milwaukee.

Here then, a few photographs.

Don't Look Me In The Eye.

Check it out, I have a suntan! I tell you, the Wisconsin summers will really bronze a guy up. Also, I'm a serial killer.

From Here To Infinity.

Me and Ben take in the view of the 'Infinity Room.' The room is essentially a massive jut out from the actual house that's suspended hundreds of feet over the forests with little to no supports. There's a glass floor, and the damn thing shakes when you walk on it. It's seriously just one jumping fat kid away from crumbling and careening into the lush greenery below.

Wisconsin Is The Prettiest State In Wisconsin.

It's worth it for the view, however. We both changed our pants and gingerly continued on our way.

The Streets Of Yesterday.

No tourist trap is complete without some housewife in a Hawaiian shirt. I politely asked her to leave the 'Streets Of Yesterday' shortly after this photo was taken. I really don't need that.

See You In Your Nightmares!

Death loomed quietly overhead. I secretly wished it would take me with him.

I've Never Been More Terrified.

Here then, the very definition of fear. That poor clown had to stand next to my doughy, white ass while I attempted to make funny faces. In a related note, we kept checking our rearview mirrors on the ride home to make sure he wasn't following us.

I Have No Idea.

And who can forget.....this!

The House On The Rock is pretty much a collection of junk, crudely thrown together to represent something mysterious and grand. When you finally reach this giant, swirling room full of contraptions and utter crap, you begin to get in on the joke and marvel at the genius of it all.

Still though, for $26 a ticket, the joke's not really all that funny afterward.

See You Later, Losers!

I forgot to mention that slices of pizza are $5. You can't keep me away from this place! I want to go through again! Could I possibly look like a bigger douchebag in this photo? Could I?

Why Won't This House Just End Already?

Animatronic mannequins playing pneumatically-powered instruments? Just try not to completely freak out when you find yourself surrounded by hundreds of them at a time. Poor Ben was tripping out like you wouldn't believe. I thought he might have accidentally ingested some Clorox before stepping into the damn place.

Not Or Not?

Come here, baby. The CDP's gunna make it all better.

I really should have put a censored bar over my Junk area, but I like to keep it real. Also, notice that I always represent by rocking the Chucks.

This Was My Nickname In Middle School.

After the House, a trip to the Firm Worm was in order. I needed bait and a good laugh.

Big Sweetie! BIG SWEETIE!

Upon arrive back to headquarters, we found that Gabe had gone and purchased himself a massive designer Cat Tree. What a bastard.

Sound off in the comments section, and tell me to get back to work on my book.

Monday, June 11

Bomb Pop!

The CDP Book - Phase II.

I figured 150-some comments was enough for the previous post, and besides, we were long overdue for an official CDP Book Update.

In my hands (not right this second, mind you, or else I wouldn't be able to type, ya' freaking mongoloid) I hold 260 pages of the best posts in CDP history. In Phase II of my pre-production process, I will be going page-by-page through the stack, editing, revising, cutting, re-writing and updating everything that's fit to print. This phase will take considerably longer than the initial "cut 1500 pages of worthless crap" phase I just emerged from.

Once this is done, I should have approximately 250 pages (my ideal length) of beautifully edited and formatted text which I will then use to begin my layout process. At this point, it should be the Winter of 2015, and my not-yet-conceived son or daughter will be starting Kindergarten.

Thanks again for the support. Sound off in the comments section and cheer me on.