Monday, February 4

Lost Monday - "The Beginning Of The End."

Lost Monday - The Beginning Of The End.
Season 4 - Episode 1: "The Beginning Of The End."

The first Lost Monday of Season 4 is upon us. We have much to discuss.

"The Beginning Of The End," in my opinion, was as good of a season premiere as you can ask for. No need to jump into all sorts of insane action right away; better to re-establish the characters and previous story lines, introduce a few more mysteries and set the stage for the first half of Season 4. Believe me, things are going to get crazy very soon, so a 'welcome back' season premiere is fine by me. It allows us to seamlessly get back into the swing of things while simultaneously being shown the layout for the rest of the year. You can't ask for too much when it comes to the first episode of a season, and when it comes to Lost, they've already established themselves as the best when it comes to return surprises.

In short, quit your bitching. Lost is back for the attack, and I like where it's headed.

18-1. Damn Times A Million.
(Oh look, a Patriots fan.)

The main focus of "The Beginning Of The End" was the battle lines being drawn concerning the freighter that's on the way to the island, and the flash-forward sequence that seems to suggest that the 'Oceanic Six' made some sort of nasty moral decision to get off of the island, one that the survivors are struggling with in their own specific ways.

Let's lay it all out for everyone, in the first Thick & Meaty of Season 4!

Thick And Meaty!

ON THE ISLAND.

After news gets around that the freighter is on the way to the beach, the survivors instantly go into gluttony mode, helping themselves to handfuls of DHARMA-brand Gummi Bears and Tom Collins Mix. This is short-lived, however, when Desmond surfaces to inform everyone that Charlie has died and gone to Second-Tier Actor On Lost Heaven. Desmond lets the folks on the beach know that Charlie was warning them about trusting the freighter, but Hurley tosses the walkie into the ocean before they have a chance to radio the others. He did this presumably because the walkie wasn't food.

At the radio tower, Jack and company are waiting for rescue, each taking turns booting Benjamin Linus in the knob. Ben is honestly concerned about the arrival of the freighter, so he asks Rousseau to take Alex as far away from the beach as possible. Rousseau responds with yet another devastating knob punch.

We're Out Of Hot Sauce! Alert The Authorities!
("HHAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!")

While Jack and Kate bask in the syrup-thick sexual tension they've created for themselves, Jack lets Kate know that he will kill Locke if he sees him again. This is not only due to him killing Naomi to avoid potential rescue, but also because he stole Jack's last stick of Fruit Stripe. The freighter folks try to radio Naomi, causing Jack and Kate to lie about the knife currently lodged deep between her shoulder blades. As it turns out, Naomi isn't dead yet, and headed out into the jungle to avoid the prospect of further stabbings in the future. Can't blame her, really. Who just waits around to be stabbed in the back for a second time, besides myself in the 8th Grade?

Jack and Ben head off in the wrong direction to find Naomi, while Kate (who stole the satellite phone from Jack because she's a kleptomaniac bitch with no moral compass to speak of and a complete lack of trust for anything near her) goes the right way and finds her, almost getting eviscerated in the process. Naomi covers for the castaways when she radios the freighter, lying about her injuries and eventually dying after reconfiguring their signal to better find the island and secure a year-long subscription to the NFL Network.

How many characters have come and gone from this show within three episodes? Not that I'll miss Naomi or anything; she seemed rather dirty. Probably someone I wouldn't want to stand next to for very long.

Get Mikhail Over Here Right Now.
("Kate, it's Jack. Have you seen my right eye?")

As the group from the beach trek through the jungle, Hurley begins to fall behind and becomes due for a patented Hurley Freak-Out. Jacob's cabin appears in front of him, and he sees one Christian Shepard hanging out in the rocking chair. He then sees Jacob's cabin everywhere he turns, eventually blocking it out of his mind permanently; a sign that perhaps it was never there to begin with. On a similar note, Christian Shepard gets around more than Tara Reid and Diddy combined.

When everyone meets back up on the beach, tensions build over Charlie's final message and the overall evilness of the approaching freighter. People seem to want to choose sides, as Jack takes this lull in the action to attempt to shoot Locke in the face. Those who believe in potential rescue stay with Jack, and those who are correct in thinking that evil approacheth head off to the barracks with Locke. Still, a few travel to the barracks solely because there's a working pinball machine there. It's the Guns & Roses one that plays 'Welcome To The Jungle' when you hit the multiball.

The island story ends with a helicopter landing on the island, and a parachutist approaching Jack, presumably the one who was radio contact with him. Had the episode gone maybe ten seconds longer, it's my assumption that Locke would have blown him up somehow.

IN FLASH-FORWARDS (From Lostpedia).

I'm Here For Evil Reasons. Would You Like Some Evil?
("Hello Hurley, my name is Bob Evilton.")

Jack is seen in his Los Angeles kitchen mixing a morning cocktail when his eye falls on TV coverage of police in hot pursuit of a speeding motorist. We watch the chase from an omniscient perspective as it comes to an end. The police command the driver out of his car, and it's none other than Hurley who resists arrest while yelling, "I'm one of the Oceanic Six!"

Hurley is in a police interrogation room where he is shown a video of himself in a convenience store paying at the cash register, then "freaking out" and running out of the store. While Mike is out getting a donut, Hurley sees a vision of Charlie in his hoodie swimming up to a window in the interrogation room, which is suddenly underwater, and touching his hand to the window, causing it to break and allowing water to rush in. On Charlie's hand is written, "THEY NEED YOU." The cop enters the room when Hurley begins screaming and threatens him with incarceration in a mental institution. Hurley, however, looks relieved to hear this, and thanks the cop and hugs him.


Fat Jack In A Little Coat.
(Jack feebly attempts to cheer Hurley up with the 'fat guy in a little coat' bit.)

Hurley is now back at the Santa Rosa Mental Health Institute and apparently happy. He is playing Connect Four when the orderly gives him his medicine and tells him he has a visitor. The man introduces himself as Matthew Abbadon and claims that he is an attorney for Oceanic Airlines. He tells Hurley that he wants to upgrade him to a nicer institute. When Hurley grows suspicious of Abbadon's question and asks for a business card, the latter states that he must have left them at home. Hurley declines the offer, causing Abbadon to turn much more serious and ask, "Are they still alive?" Hurley looks startled and Abbadon continues to try and provoke him about what he knows. Thinking the man is after him, Hurley has a fit and starts to yell for a nurse. As the orderlies constrain him, he glimpses back and sees Abbadon leave.


Hurley is sitting on the grounds of the Hospital when Lewis comes over and says that a man is staring at him, he looks over to see Charlie. Hurley is shocked and starts to run away as Charlie tries to calm him down. Hurley states that he freaked out at the store because he saw him there. Charlie tells him that he really is there, and that he is indeed dead. After they talk about Charlie's death, Charlie says Hurley has to do "something" that Hurley has been avoiding, and he claims the reason Hurley ran from him was because he knew he was there to "tell him". Hurley says he doesn't want to hear any more and closes his eyes and counts to five, while he does, Charlie tells him "don't do this", and then "You know they need you". When Hurley opens his eyes, Charlie is gone.


Could You Kindly Restart My Heart?
(It's good to see the Geico Cavemen still getting work after the cancellation of their show.)

A much more in control Jack than seen in "
Through the Looking Glass" visits Hurley and plays a game of Horse with him. The two begin the game talking about being noticed frequently. Jack says the reporters are leaving him alone and only gets asked for autographs while buying coffee. Hurley is glad to see him but wonders why he came. Jack, after losing a few shots to Hurley, asks if he is "going to tell." Hurley doesn't respond. Jack decides to leave and grabs his coat. Hurley says he's sorry he went with Locke, and that he should have gone with Jack instead, but Jack says that it's not an issue. Hurley wonders if they should go back to the Island and says "it" will do whatever it takes to bring them back. Jack says he will never go back to the Island, to which Hurley replies, "Never say never, dude," as Jack exits the room.

Thanks for the flash-forward recap, Lostpedia! You're always there for me when I get sick of writing and decide to watch the Super Bowl instead. What an absolutely remarkable and historic outcome, by the way; without question, one of the greatest Super Bowls ever.

You know, the coolest part of the flash-forwards so far has been the story of the 'Oceanic Six,' presumably only 6 of the castaways made it back home, to huge attention and fanfare. Of course, it would appear as if their story isn't over, as what they did to leave the island is suspect and questionable characters and inquiries continue to mess with them long after rescue. This brings us to today's Question Of The Week.

Question of The Week.
("You all, every zombie!")

"What Secret Is The 'Oceanic Six' Hiding From The World?"

A. The remaining castaways were killed in a game of 'Apples To Apples' gone horribly wrong.
B. They were never really on the island to begin with; made the whole damn thing up.
C. It's actually the 'Oceanic Nine,' and the three others are hiding in Jack's beard.
D. The island was pretty awesome, and they go back every Summer to 'chill out.'

I'll let you think about that for the time being; let's move on, and Break It Down!
Break It Down!

4 - During the opening high-speed chase with Hurley, you can see his former boss Randy (Locke's former boss, too) trying to catch the whole thing on his video camera. Unfortunately for Randy (or for the continuity department on Lost), his lens cap was still on.

8 - Chrstian Shepard is causing me serious headaches concerning the possible outcome of this show. The 13th Mobisode showed Christian shortly before the first few seconds of the Pilot episode, his corpse was never recovered, and now we see him hanging out inside of 'Jacob's' cabin, rocking one white tennis shoe (the other which seems to be caught in a tree during the Pilot episode). I honestly can't think of a more cohesive show concerning call-backs and call-aheads than Lost.

I didn't watch the Mobisodes at first, mainly because I don't think any sort of viral marketing is conducive to the overall enjoyment of the show, nor should they be mandatory viewing to fully understand the direction of the show. However, Mobisode 13 is worth your time, if only to demonstrate how together the writers and producers are when it comes to making Lost amazing.

Jackass Returns Again, Acting Like A Jackass.
(Even for just a few frames, Randy builds enough rage in me to justify murder.)

15 - This was the first season premiere that wasn't Jack-centric, even though the beginning of the episode was seen partially through the eyes of a Jack flash-forward. It also marked the first season premiere that didn't feature a closeup of an eye. My assumption is that this means nothing, which somehow comforts me.

16 - The scene with Hurley and Charlie was interesting, in that it raised the supernatural question of Hurley actually communicating with the dead. They wanted to blur the lines of reality as much as possible, much like Desmond's flashback concerning his quick glimpses into the immediate future. Or, Hurley is insane. The jury's still out on this one. However, Hurley's friend 'Lewis' saw Charlie, too. So, is Charlie real, or is 'Lewis' a figment of Hurley's imagination?

I'm Not The Devil. Srsly.
(The world's first living, breathing, waterproof Muppet.)

23 - The Camaro the Hurley is driving in the opening of the episode is the same one that he restored with his father as a kid in the flashbacks for "Tricia Tanaka Is Dead." I sincerely hope that when this show is all said and done, we'll get a nice, comprehensive behind-the-scenes look at how the writers made all of this come together. Seriously, this is sheer brilliance on an unparalleled scale. Feel free to debate me in the comments; I'd love to hear about a more thought-out show in the history of American television.

42 - Hurley's flash-forward seems to take place before Jack's previous flash-forward. Whatever seems to be eating Hurley up will eventually bother Jack in the same way. Wouldn't it be funny if Lost went all St. Elsewhere on us and revealed that the 'Oceanic Six' are all just mental patients who made the whole thing up? Yeah, no. I suppose it wouldn't be funny at all. Sorry.

Step back, prepare for spoilers and wear protective garments, because it's time for The Preview!

Confirmed Dead.

1 - Episode 2 will be titled "Confirmed Dead."

2 - The episode will center around the flashbacks of the four members of the freighter, and their intentions for arriving to the island.

3
- Lock will flat-out ask Ben about the Smoke Monster this week. Don't expect an answer, however.

4 - Jeff Fahey will be a new character on the set, posing as one of the four evil folks arriving on the freighter. I don't know about you, but I love this guy. He's an awesome actor, has terrifying eyes and should make a great addition to the crew. I just had to interject this, because I really like Jeff Fahey.

PLOT POINT.
(Yeah, that's Ben. Lived on the island all your life, my ass!)

5 - My favorite Super Bowl commercials are as follows:

#4 - E*Trade - "Baby Rents Clown."
#3 - Tide - "Stain."

#2 - Bud Light - "Will Ferrell."

#1 - Fed-Ex - "Pigeons."


Well, there you have it, the first Lost Monday of the season in the books. Start the discussion in the comments section, send any erotic photography to communistdance@yahoo.com and enjoy the rest of your Monday.

Comments:
Wow, you are thorough. I didn't even notice who was in the rocker, best watch the whole thing again. The Lawnmower Man is coming? Cool. And that was Randy? How do you store all this information?
My questions, why didn't "Bob" have a fake business card? Where is this other plane full of people they talked about on The View? Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Ben made it back? Or was it John who died and Jack was the only one at the funeral? Jack was going to murder John? Jack and John are the id and ego of the same person? The first thing Charlie does when he dies is get a dye and cut?
Best Super Bowl in years. Loved Petty, Talking Stain my fav commercial.
 
I didn't realize it was Christian in the chair...I thought it was the guy from the Dharma videos. The eye looked Asian to me when it peeked through the knothole.
 
Note: "'Lewis' saw Charlie, too. So, is Charlie real, or is 'Lewis' a figment of Hurley's imagination?"

We never see "Lewis" actually pick anything up so I'm pretty sure he is just an imaginary friend. Or maybe Hurley is the kid from "The Sixth Sense" all grown up.

Is Ben wearing a dress in th photo in that last screen cap?
 
Ha! First, what made me lol, seriously:
HHAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!! and You all, every zombie!

But as for "It also marked the first season premiere that didn't feature a closeup of an eye"...did you blink during the scene where Hurley sees Christian in the cabin sitting in the chair? *Someone* pops up in the broken front window and we get a closeup of their eye. Methinks it might have been the mysterious Jacob. Or maybe even Charlie?

My guesses for the Oceanic Six are: Jack, Kate, Hurley, Jin, Sun, and either Aaron (which has been floating around since the end of last season) or Desmond. Or maybe Vincent. (Does the dog count?)

I love that the Lawnmower Man is going to show up. Those producers pick some of the best cameos.
 
Maus: Oceanic Six are: Jack, Kate, Hurley, Jin, Sun, and either Aaron (which has been floating around since the end of last season) or Desmond.

I think Kate and Sawyer got off, but don't count because they are probably all incognito. Desmond also shouldn't count because he wasn't on the flight.

My picks for the six: Jack, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Micheal, Walt
 
I'm thining Lewis is Dave, Part II. Hurley was probably playing Connect Four by himself. Quite frankly, who doesn't play Connect Four by themselves?

I didn't catch it was Christian, either. Was it Christian in the "peephole", too?
 
Was it Christian in the "peephole", too? Anyone have a screen cap of the eye? What color was it and what color eyes does Christian have?
 
JEANNA - I haven't heard anything about another plane full of people dropping in; I'm assuming it was just a theory or red herring or something. Petty brought the house down at the Super Bowl; best halftime show in forever.

HATHERY - The eye that looked through the knothole wasn't Christian; it was someone that was in there with Christian. For the record, I've seen the screencap and it doesn't look like any character we've seen so far. My opinion is that it's either 'Jacob' or a figment of Hurley's imagination.

COMET - I don't know what Ben is wearing, but I'm positive that the reason he didn't want the freighter showing up so much is because they're looking for him and him alone.

MAUS - Thanks; I liked those captions, too!

What I meant about the eye was the the show didn't start out that way. I'm seriously jacked that The Lawnmower Man is showing up; I own a VHS copy of that masterpiece.

MOE - I think we're all right about 'Lewis.' I've played Connect Four with myself on numerous occasions.

My picks for the Oceanic Six: Jack, Kate, Hurley, Ben, Juliet and Michael. Subject to change at any time, mind you.
 
Apparently Whoopi Goldberg was told that another plane would show up on the island with the numbers on it.
 
I'm very curious as to what the "Six" says when they get home, I've heard some ridiculous theories that I won't even consider without more evidence but I really enjoyed this episode.
 
Upon further reflection, yeah, I forgot that Desmond wasn't on the flight. And I thought I read that there would be some kind of trial for Kate, though I'm not sure if it was flash back or forward, so I don't know about the "incognito". I'm not sure I consider Michael/Walt part of the 6 - we don't even know yet if they ever actually made it back (they could've crashed their boat like Desmond did). And spoilers seem to hint at Jack/Kate/Hurley/Jin/Sun at least. I also change my mind about the possibility of Aaron being in Kate's care - I think he was still on the island with Claire and was part of the "they" spectral Chahhhleeee was referring to needing Hurley's help.

This is really going to drive me nuts. I'm trying to avoid spoilers right now, but my will is about to break.
 
What's really going to upset you is when the 8th episode leaves us all hanging until the strike is over.
 
I have to save my comments for later. I have an intense pain between the eleventh and twelveth vertibrae.

At least I didn't lose any money.* Just a night's sleep and a few years of my life. the announcer said the Giants won, but what I heard was: "I've just sucked one year of your life away. I may one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you."
I have a pretty good idea now.






*Help JT buy food this week.
 
We were sitting right smack in the Giants cheering section last night...they're a rowdy bunch.
 
Blu - Well, man, I did lose $100 on the Pats, but I bought a square on our work Super Bowl Grid and won $200 on the final score, so I'm still up $100.

Not too bad for a night's work.

Sorry about the Pats, man. I did pull for them like I promised, up until the last minute and a half when I realized what it meant for me financailly if the Giants scored.
 
My God.

I would happily pay good money for a book full of your Lost captions. 'Bob Evil' and 'Fat Jack' had me in hysterics.

The episode definetly bought me back on track. For all of the other Lost seasons, I've never had to wait any more than 3 months, but the 8 month gap really bitch-slapped me right across the face.

I have to go back and finish watching season 3 on DVD. I havn't even seen each episode 3 times yet! It's a disgrace!
 
Want to know a real disgrace? We haven't even BOUGHT season 3 on DVD yet! GASP! GUFFAW! FAINT!
 
There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men were the two most entertaining, bestest movies I've seen in the theatre...Ever.

I tell you this in hopes of CDP giving us a There Will Be Blood Thursday post.

Please.
 
BLU/JT - I know it hurts, man (remember two weeks ago?); just know that the Pats were shut down by the greatest defensive scheme ever devised. Remarkable in every sense.

DUFF - Thanks; I've done hundreds of them, they'll all be published once Lost and Lost Monday wraps up for good.

MOE - No Country is the best picture I've seen all year, and I'll be seeing There Will Be Blood shortly. Can't wait.
 
Saw "There will be Blood" on Saturday. I gotta say, one of the best movies I've seen in awhile.
 
The Patriots fan stabbed in the back—so very funny. Why wouldn't you bet every last cent on the Giants? I mean if you could get odds on a straight win/loss bet. Which you probably couldn't.
There Will Be Blood (and NCFOM), great suggestions.
Moe Green, great name. Now that I've run out of The Industry, going back to old SCTVs.
Love this blog. So much fun on a Monday. Hey, I'm dumping all my boxes of Mac and Cheese if you find yourself at a loss.
 
Thanks for the kind words, Jeanna. You're one of us now.

ONE OF US.
 
(to be said in a zombie voice, naturally.)
 
Yesss...join usss...
 
’cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it’s thriller, thriller night
You’re fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight


Wait...What just happened?
 
My 'Thriller' rendition is epic. Just ask the Missus.
 
I'm sad to say that I can't read Lost Mondays :( I can't watch on abc.com from London, and I don't have a TV, but my dad is going to record it on a DVD and then send it to me... so I will read it once I watch the episodes ... I was tempted just to read it anyway, we'll see if I can last without reading Lost Monday every week!
 
No TV? You're going to miss out on all of that wonderful British programming! No Big Breakfast? No Torchwood? No crazy game shows with nudity in prime-time?

Please bring me back a box of Sugar Puffs.
 
I think Titan just stole my 'Highlander' move...
 
So glad I'm not the only one who got that.
 
In Madison, there's a disgusting little motel called 'The Highlander Motel.' Everytime we drive past it, I have to say "Tharr can be only one," in my best Scottish accent.



Missus is getting pretty sick of it, as you can probably imagine.
 
Thanks for the Freaks welcome, all. Saw There Will Be Blood today. Despite the great supporting cast, almost like a one man show. Great last line. Great musical score and cinematography.
The Highlander on the Beltline?
 
sugar puffs are what?
cereal?
 
JEANNA - Yup, that Highlander. Thanks for the There Will Be Blood recommendation; I'm really looking forward to it.

CAITLIN - Indeed they are. I've been trying to get my hands on a box ever since I visited London and fell in love with the Honey Monster (the Sugar Puffs Spokesmonster).
 
Whatchoo doin' in London, Caitlin?
 
No Big Breakfast? No Torchwood? No crazy game shows with nudity in prime-time?

It's called "BBC America". Okay, no nudity there either. But Torchwood rocks. But it's weird seeing Doctor Who with decent special effects. But it was fun seeing the Dalaks and Cybermen talk smack.

Okay, I'm over-geeking myself.

I just listened to my mix straight-through and, while I have some tweaks to make, it will be simply outstanding when I'm done. I had more than a little help from Mrs. Hoss -- her input has been invaluable.
 
HOSS - BBC America is pretty great. They used to air Look Around You at 3am, which was honestly one of the most brilliant satires I've ever seen.

Way to go on the mix. I've narrowed mine down to 100 songs, and I'll probably get it down to 80 by the end of today. Slow and steady, yo.
 
I am enjoying my own mix so thoroughly that I've been listening to it in my car for the last week. Sorry Bruce...I promised you a quick nudie day, and I've made you wait.
 
Welcome to my world, Bruce.




MARRIED GUY JOKE! W000000T!!!!1!
 
Well played, CDP. Well played.
 
I promised you a quick nudie day, and I've made you wait.



'scuse me while I roll on the floor!
 
Are you laughing *with* me, or *at* me?
 
Well, you made it sound like you and Bruce were involved in a tryst of some sort.

Funny, but worthy of clarification.
 
Hey, hey - I thought this was a pop culture blog, not a swingers club.
 
You have no evidence that we are not involved in a tryst.

In fact, we're looking into buying this house as our loveshack.
 
Fair enough.

What sucks more is that I'm pretty sure I can't afford that house.
 
I don't want to afford that house. I want that house to implode into the black hole it came from, and never return to Sun Prairie.
 
What are you talking about? That house is FABULOUS. The pink exterior just masks the awesomeness that lies inside.
 
I'd turn that basement into a torture chamber so fast...
 
It's "Ha ha" fabulous, but not "I'm going to drop $180k and live here" fabulous.
 
Want a place for your children/grandchildren to play? This 3 bedroom ranch, 2-car garage home is next to a park. Lower level also finished for indoor fun, game, refreshment, sitting and music rooms. Yes, the piano is included. First floor laundry with appliances. Great location. Home Warranty included. Sq. ft. per Sun Prairie assessor.

A.What's a "Sun Prairie assessor"?
B.It comes with a piano. Can it be all that bad?
 
An assessor who lives in Sun Prairie, I assume??

I figure they had to throw in that "Yes, the piano is included" because they got so many people jokingly asking if it was included. That's sad.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
This post has been converted into a log cabin/dungeon with a piano (included!) by the author.
 
I'm assuming they threw in the piano because they don't want to move the damn thing.

When we move again, the new arrivals are getting themselves a free treadmill.
 
And a free husband! HA!
 
The rest of the place was almost too bland, then you get to the basement and it's like "WTF kind of secret Pagan rites were performed down here?" bizarre. There is such a thing as a poorly thought-out "theme" room. The heck with the piano - that house better come with some busty serving wenches, for that asking price. Do one-level ranch styles really go for as much up there as they do here (120-200K)? Maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about the Florida housing market...
 
The main problems with busty serving wenches?

1. You have to feed them = $$$
2. Gravity + age = saggy serving wenches
3. They die.
 
Plus, Busty Serving Wenches (or BSW for short) might not be able to play the piano..
 
Hathery - I'm studying in London for a semester and so far it's awesome. I only have two days of classes. Score!
 
Caitlin, that rocks!!!

Maus, in the Madison area, a decent ranch home goes for probably 150-200k. Homes are very expensive in this area. In other parts of Wisconsin where it's more rural (further North and such) it's not nearly as expensive though. Madison is the capitol, so homes are much more expensive here. Milwaukee too.
 

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