Friday, March 7

"Do You Know Who You Are?"

Do You Know Who You Are?

So, here it is. The big secret. The reason that I've been downtrodden, ill, douchebaggy and unreasonable all week. I'm letting it spill because there's really nothing left to lose.

I interviewed for a major promotional position at my office on Tuesday.

This position has been weighing heavily on me for a couple of weeks now, turning me into an unfocused, emotional zombie around the house and causing the CDP to slightly dip in quality (either that, or I've fallen in love; the symptoms are about the same). What better way to shake off the funk than to completely air out my problems through the very public forum I've created for the sole purpose of leaving my actual problems behind?

The advancement between what I do now for a living and what I will potentially be doing for a living is massive. So massive, in fact, that...well, let's just get right into it, shall we?

What I do for 40 hours a week now is a job. I do what I need to do, and when I get home I shake it off and live the life I want to live. The money is fair, the work is easy enough and I enjoy coming to the office in the morning. Should I get this promotion, however, it would now be a career. Overtime. Business trips. Round-the-clock suits and ties. Handshakes and toothy grins. You know, that kind of person. The kind of person that has fought his or her entire life to get to that deserving position of power, and are truly content in being remembered after death as a businessman and professional. I respect that; I really do.

I, on the other hand, have been pulled into this void through forces beyond my control. On my first day with the agency in 2004, I spent most of the day sweeping out a supply closet while wearing the nicest suit I owned at the time. From there, I answered phones, opened mail, worked the Hearing Impaired switchboard and was essentially given every job that nobody wanted to do. I was so low on the totem pole that most employees thought I was a Summer intern. When I came back to the agency after getting married, most people had forgotten who I was.

I didn't mind it. In fact, there are days where I wish I was still sweeping that closet. Days when I wish I had less responsibility, and could gracefully back out of adulthood and go back to my grandmother's basement and sleep until 2pm.

But I worked hard, made friends and got noticed. I was promoted two times in the next two years, dusted myself off and was thrown into an office. I was given more work, answered to less people and made more money. Through it all, though, I maintained the attitude I walked in with. 'Pay the bills and go home.' 'This isn't really my job,' I naively thought, 'this is just what I do so I can write in my spare time.' However, with the upcoming decision being made about the fate of my employment, this is far more than a change in scenery and duties. This is a life change that will effect everything.

I’m constantly reminded that if I get this job, it’ll all be ours. The finished basement, the tropical vacations, the retirement security, the American Dream; all of that stupid, pointless crap that I seem to care so damn much about. Had I just been content to function as a meager, struggling author for the remainder of my 20's, I wouldn't care less about that sort of hedonistic rubbish.

Truth is, however, that I'm not much for struggling, and no decent, married man would turn down the opportunity to make things better for his family, regardless of if that means sacrificing a little bit of his aspirations. In fact, I would theorize that this decision eventually dawns on every responsible adult at some point in their lives. When is the right time, if any, to set the dream aside? Everyone knows how much I oppose selling my blog out, so it would make sense to think that I'd have a moral issue with selling my life out. You'd be right, too. I've been aching like you wouldn't believe the past few days, completely unsure of everything for the first time in many years. I'm a smart guy, why is this so hard for me to understand?

The pros are as follows. This job will give me the financial security I need to advance fully into the world of successful adulthood that I was quite certain would never happen to me. We can buy the nice house, keep two nice cars in the garage, amass a hefty nest egg and lay to rest any issues we might have had in the past when it came to extra cash. Dare I say it, we may even be able to start a family. For a guy like me, that grew up kind of poor and barely graduated from High School, this is far more than I need or deserve to be happy on a superficial level. I'm extremely conservative when it comes to preparing for the future, and this position represents the harmony and peace that I've never felt when I fall asleep at night (albeit boring and lacking individual character).

Which brings us to the cons. First off, this job is hard, okay? As someone who has defied the odds and enjoyed almost every day of work for the last four years, taking a step into oncoming traffic feels a little dangerous, illogical and potentially lethal. What if I hate it? What if I can't hack it? What if I come home every day like a miserable 1950's dad, hassling his wife for dinner and pouring glass after glass of straight Brandy, counting down the seconds until I have to throw the tie back on and do it all over again? I'd hate myself, and I'd hate that I let my employment negatively effect my life at home, which is something I take pride in never doing. I can't turn into that type of person; my 1987 persona would travel forward in time to stab me while I slept, due to me turning my back on all the things that I was put on this planet to accomplish.

Furthermore, and arguably the most important on a personal level, is that fact that I will no longer have the time, resources and capabilities to continue writing and pursuing creative ventures like I do right now. The CDP will cease to exist as you know it. The creation and eventual publication of my second book will have to be relegated to 'hobby' status. In essence, I will need to put my 'real' job at the top of my priorities list, which is something I have honestly never done. I'd still write to make myself happy, but it would go without saying that most of the dream would be over. The stressors of work would have no choice but to come home with me, effectively draining me of whatever creative juices were left for the written word.

I have yet to determine what this is a clash of. Is it a clash between childhood and adulthood? Responsibility and irresponsibility? Security and pursuing your true path? Logic and heart? It's probably a combination of everything, and it's taking a far greater toll on me than I thought it would. If I get the job, this is the decision I'm forced to make. If I don't get the job, nothing changes and I'm left to wonder what could have been. I don't know what's worse.

It disgusts me that I let things like this have such emotional control over me. I think we all have this feeling from time to time, though. What was just a week ago supposed to be a nonchalant, 'we'll see what happens' interview, has now turned into something that I have absolutely no set opinion on, and will leave me with an equal amount of happiness and regret no matter what.

As I poured over my resume, cover letter and references before the interview, I listened to the Lifetime classic from 1996, 'Jersey's Best Dancers,' on my iPod. I couldn't help but to laugh at the irony of enjoying nostalgic, hardcore emo-punk from my teenage years, while prepping myself for my biggest foray into professional adulthood yet, sporting a tie and tucked-in $70 shirt. The blue-haired kid that bought this album at the age of 18 would be so embarrassed to see the 26 year old whore he turned out to be.

Then again, the 26 year old is pretty embarrassed of the 18 year old, too. He didn't understand what it meant to have a wife, constant monthly bills and increasing pressures from every corner of his waking day. He didn't know what it meant to be a responsible husband, corporate professional and a son that his mom could be proud of. How dare he step in and criticize something that he has no business attempting to understand? How dare he hold me back?

In a perfect world, I'd be a successful author. However, I'm intelligent and jaded enough to understand that I shouldn't be holding my breath. I should take what I can get. I should grasp that brass ring, accept the security and responsibility I've worked so hard for, and screw those hopes and dreams that eventually get us all nowhere. I can't do it, though.

I just can't do it.

Comments:
Rough, man.

Not going to lie. This is intense. I have no authority to attempt to relate to you, or say that I understand what you are going through. I don't, and I'm sure few actually do understand. I've always said that you can't say "I know how you feel" unless you've actually felt that way.

I've had to make decisions before, but never on a scale like this. I don't know if I would be able to make the decision to move from the fence and step completely into adulthood. I've thought about it, and it terrifies me, and I'm sure I'll be terrified when it happens, just as you are. However, people have had to make this decision for a long time, and it will continue to be made. You'll make the decision, and when I am your age, I'll make the decision, and our children and our children's children will be faced with it.

You can make the choice, to never take your foot out of the childhood side of this equation...but why would you want to? Didn't you spend your whole childhood wishing you could grow up? Now that you're here, you need not only to remember the values and dreams of your youth, but also to keep true to what you really want, and that is to be an adult, take advantage of it, and grow up. You can't be a forty-year-old struggling artist, because that person will look back at 26-year-old you in fondness as you look back at 18-year-old you now.

With the way the world works now, and the way that a sane-minded person can survive...sometimes, dreams need to be put on the backburner. You're not giving them up, if they're still with you. If you still write, you're still writing, and if it is a passion of yours that is truly meant to endure, it will.
 
Man, this is rough and sounds like a battle I go through constantly. Not really on your scale, but I constantly wonder if what I am doing now is for the better or worse.

I currently am living on a decent income stream, but would I be happy with this forever? Probably. I figure that as long as I am doing what makes me happy, I'll be happy. Granted I may not have all the money to go out all the time, I think I can manage.

My parents tell me that I need to get real often and they tell my about careers and I can't help but think, really? Do I want that in my future? I really just want to pursue my music, my art, my desires. I really would like that security for my lady and whatever happens, but I think I wouldn't mind trading off that security for doing what makes me happy.

Sorry if this is horribly written, I just thought I would comment.
 
I'm going to comment even though I am brain dead and have no business attempting to impart any sort of wisdom in this half-dead state.

While you don't have to be all of nothing, this really is a crossroads. There is nothing wrong with a 2-car garage and a houseful of Danish Modern Furniture, no matter what Pahluniak might say. You seem more upset that you want that rather than leaving anything behind (but again, understand I am reading this in a brain dead state.)

However, to pursue a career as a writer to the extent you want - that takes a shitload of risk. Right now I have to take two days off of work to be with my husband in the hospital. That's ~$175. Not life-changing money in the least. For a good portion of my 20s and almost all of my 30's, I wouldn't bat an eye.

But now that's a crapload of money, and I am faced with the "do I make my car payment or do I sit with my husband who have been carved like a Thanksgiving turkey on a morphine drip?" I'm not saying you yourself will face that, but that is the reality of life as a writer.

I've been nominated for two Emmys, and I'm still having to make these shitty choices.

However, that's the deal I made, and I knew it going in. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, but I give up a lot, and it's one of the few jobs that you can be amazing at and never make any real money.

If you can live with that sort of uncertainty, then I say screw the promotion. But if you can't live with it or the fun stuff of a comfortable life (and that is NOT selling out) then take the promotion, write as a hobby. You're young, and the one plus of being a writer is you can do it at any age. Maybe save up your "fuck you" money.
 
Man, I feel you buddy. I'm going through something similar with the new job. I have zero free time, and haven't had a solid day off since the beginning of February. I work seven days a week now, and my boss routinely calls me at 11:30 PM and 7:00 AM. No rest for the wicked, I suppose.

Still, I love it. Granted, I sell booze, but it truly is hard work and long hours. No more carefree boozing, it's now work boozing, which means less cutting loose and more watching people's reactions.

Anyway, I linked to this on Spork Nation for two reasons. One, it rings true with me, and two, I didn't have anything new to post today.

Enjoy the weekend, I'm off to sit in meetings all day and sample wine.
 
I (or all of us) wish we could be selfish and hope that you stay the same ole' CDP forever but the world doesn't/can't/shouldn't work that way and I know it.

Making a little money, losing alittle time, and making sure you and your possible family are safe in the future are nowhere near selling out.

There are millions of writers within history who, early in life, have had "to settle" due to support of their families and just continue writing no matter what (Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, etc..). The fact that I write the amount I do for going to school and working suprises the hell out of me...

Do what you have to, man. I'll always be around..
 
I'd rather I continue to get promoted and you just do what you're doing now. Write. That's what you want to do, and that's what I want you to do. We don't need two ladder climbers...I'll be the martyr for your cause, baby.
 
Wow, this brought out some lengthy (and probably girthy) comments. I appreciate that a lot.

It seems that the general voice is saying, "It's okay to want security, dude. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a man and doing what you need to do for the future." That's what I've been telling myself, and it rings true.

CARGIRL - My mom always likes to tell me that everything happens for a reason, and while I think that's a load of horse plop, sometimes you do need to just step back and see where things take you. There are moments where it feels like it's out of our hands, and embracing that is necessary is evolution, perhaps.

SLACKMISTRESS - I can't tell you how appreciative I am when you fill in those gaps concerning the facets of professional writing that I just don't see in my current situation. Your opinion is highly regarded by me, and I wanted to thank you for taking the time to drop some knowledge on me while keeping an eye on your post-op husband. We all wish him the best here at the CDP.

JT - Are we getting mature and responsible, or are we just getting old? I can't tell yet, and I don't know if I want to.

CAVEMAN - I've come to terms with the fact that 'selling out' has nothing to do with living well. Thanks.

On a far brighter note, today is Cargirl's birthday!
 
HATHERY - You're a goodly wife. Tonight, I shall bring you home a fine, fat goose for dinner.
 
I have to totally disagree with you.

In the last year I have jumped into the career type position. I recently moved to Boston in order to take a job at a company that does enterprise social networking solutions for corporation. I still write everyday.. I get up half an hour earlier and just down and write.

You just have to choose to do it.
 
Damn I didn't mean to post it before I was finished... You have talent and a passion for something. Don't give up on it.

It is all about TIVO and cutting out the commercials... That is my strategy.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Thanks for the advice, Kevin. You're right, though; I will have time to do everything I need to do. Time will be made, regardless of schedule. It's been like this for 20 years, why would it change now?

I should mention that things are currently not looking good as far as me getting this job is concerned. On one hand, it'll be an end to the anxiety and questions (until the next time this happens, of course), but on another hand, it's a shame that it didn't go as planned.

....or did it?
 
I just sent you an email, but I noticed a Chuck Palahniuk reference above. Good example for this case, because Chuck didn't become a "successful" writer until his mid-30s. If I remember right he worked as a diesel mechanic in his 20s and built himself a bedrock so later in life he could afford to take some risks. In my email I cited Chuck Klosterman who also didn't become a "successful writer until his 30s. What I'm trying to say is, change your name to "Chuck."

Seriously, there is nothing wrong with taking a solid job in your mid-20s and continue flirting with your passions. It may seem like you are sacrificing your hopes and dreams, but if they really are your hopes and dreams you will find a way to make it all fit. They may not get as much attention as they do now and you'll constantly have to deal with them screaming from the spare room, but that is why God gave writers whiskey.

No, seriously serious this time. It is going to be fine, Ryan. You've already done more than the majority of 20-somethings who spend day after day dreaming of being a successful writer. You made something happen instead of sitting in a coffeeshop scribbling in a journal day after day.
 
Coffeeshops and journals repulse me. :)

I got your e-mail, and it appears as if we're pretty much all set to take Madison over this Summer. Looking forward to midwestern domination, yo.

What I believe happened to me in the last few weeks was that because of this looming promotion, I lost my focus. Of everything. It hit me hard for some reason, and now that things are making slightly more sense, I'm feeling recharged and optimistic about the remainder of the year, writing-wise.

I've got another book that will begin pre-production in the Spring. My gig at Pop Crunch will be far more regular than it was before. I'm looking forward to seeing how Dane 101's new network will make us billions of dollars. I'm even considering writing another screenplay, something I haven't done in four years. I'm proud of my accomplishments at my age, but there's no sense in slowing down and being content in what little you've done in the past.

Let's go. I'm ready.
 
And I learned a new clogging dance last night! So we're all ready to face the world with bright smiles and taps on our feet.
 
Life is too short to worry about what you did or did not do. Just ask Patrick Swayze.

Too soon?

I'm a little torn here. I love buying things. Pretty things, electronic-y things, nice things, but I hate people's need to hoard shit that doesn't do anyone any good. I understand your desire for financial security, but will having all these "things" make you happier than if you're merely living comfortably, yet have the time for writing and accomplishing all the things you want to accomplish?

I'm not so sure.
 
HATHERY - Well, there you go. We can always fall back on that, should we hit the skids a bit.

IMS - Poor Swayze. I like Roadhouse because I love Terry Funk.

When I was 16 years old, I threw away almost every collected possession I've ever owned. Tons of childhood stuff, basically everything that was tucked in a box, because I wanted to live a Buddhist lifestyle and embrace the fact that envy, greed and gathering items was not the true path to peace and happiness. I wanted to be a Monk. I wanted to convince myself of how shallow and dependent on hedonistic desires I had become.

It didn't last very long, but I think about that from time to time. I'm so tied down by the things I own, that perhaps things would be better if they were more meager? Get rid of a lot of these things, move to a smaller apartment, save money and attempt to be happier. I'm not sure if it would work, but hey, it'll be worth a crack someday.
 
I still own everything I've ever owned, and I like it that way. It's familiar, and it's comfortable.
 
Everything I own(besides my car)fits in a 600 sq ft, 1 bedroom apartment. I always think about moving to a larger place, perhaps a trendy loft down by the river, but then I'd feel obligated to fill it with more shit that I'd have to dust. I dust enough as it is.
 
The timing of this post is almost eerie. I'll be up for a promotional position at my current company at some point in the next month or two. It, too, will be a change from job to potential career and I, too, have been struggling with that.

People with artistic temperaments like us tend to struggle especially hard when this sort of thing comes up. At least, that's what I've seen. But you know why I think that is? We've been taught to believe that career = passions are relegated to hobbies and they can never become what we do for a living. Which, I've realized, is hogwash.

Yes, you're going to have a better chance of doing what you love if you make the kind of sacrifices that the good slackmistress tells us about. That's one path (and a right admirable one). But I do firmly believe, and have seen done, in the possibility of taking a career-like job without giving up your dreams. You make time for doing the things you love.

And in the end? You can always quit that career job and start over. It may be hard, but it's always an option. That's the thing we all need to keep in mind. It really is never too late to start down a different path.

So that's my plan. I'll apply for this lofty position, and I'll be content if I get it or don't get it. If you look and make the effort, there are always other opportunities.

Good luck with everything, though. And hey, can I be part of the million dollar dane101 networking scheme...err...plan? :)
 
HATHERY - When I used to come over to your house, your room would freak me out because of that. I felt like you were 10 years old or something.

Didn't stop me, though.

IMS - I like stuff. I wish I didn't, but I do. Somedays, I almost beg for the same nervous breakdown that caused me to toss everything out in the first place. Might be good for me.

EMILY - The multi-million dollar Dane 101 thing was actually just going to be me and Jesse setting up a webcam in your bedroom and charging a subscription fee.

I've been told by a lot of people at a lot of different times that the timing of my more serious posts are eerie. Perhaps I'm resonating with my audience more than I thought I was, hmmm?

You're right, and good luck with everything. When big changes strike, you always feel the need to seriously re-evaluate your life, and that's what I was doing for the last two weeks, in a very whiny and depressing way. The news that I didn't get the job is almost refreshing to me, as I at least have the motivation to move onto something else.
 
Oh, well, uh...OK, I'm still totally in.

I can do whatever I want on camera, though, right?

Right.

Oh and, everything you ever do is eerie. Just FYI.
 
I'm a pretty eerie guy, I've been told.

Someday, I'll write us a short film where you can lop my head off with a sword. It's going to rule. Your film work always makes me smile; you're such a badass that it pains me. I also like how Kelly has that strung-out thing just nailed.

There will be nudity, however.

By me.
 
Loyal CDP readers would expect nothing less, I expect.
 
I have a no-nudity clause in my contract, but I'm always willing to negotiate. I've been working out.
 
Heh...there comes a point in life where these things happen. It's happened to me a couple of times - I may have to make the decision again this summer to stay put out of comfort and a certain level of complacency or face the challenges of a possible climb up the proverbial corporate ladder. You're a pretty driven person, by all accounts (me...not so much!), so whatever you decide to do you will no doubt make the best of. But who says you can't have the prestigious 9 to 5 AND your other, more personally rewarding, endeavors? My husband has a full time job and does the radio thing on the weekends. It takes a certain amount of understanding and willingnes to make sacrifices by the rest of the family, but so far it works just fine. In the end, you'll make the choice that feels right to you and fits where you want your life to go. And I found this quote today that seems fitting:

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
(Henry David Thoreau)

 
Emily- I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you greatly resemble Daniel Radcliffe to me for some reason. I find this strangely exciting.
 
HATHERY - Strangely, you're not the first person to tell me this. I've been told that I look like everyone from him to Elijah Wood to Winona Ryder, so who knows.

I used to take being mistaken for a boy (which happened a lot) very hard, but at this point I've come to terms with myself and it ain't no thang. I'm all woman, baby, and that's all I need to know. I can't help it if I look good as both a boy and a girl. ;)
 
MAUS - Great quote. It's optimistic and refuses to dwell on those who seem to stumble head-first into good luck on a daily basis. I hate those people.

Hathery just told Emily that she looked like the person that she's more attracted to than anyone else in the world.

I'm just going to let this one play out and see where it takes us.
 
I have confidence from reading your blog that while you may find it rough in the beginning, eventually it will even out, and you'll find the balance between work, writing, and the rest of your life.

I don't envy the hard decision you're facing. But in the end, whichever way you go, you'll make it be the right decision for you :) Come hell or high water.
 
Thanks Morgan; I agree.

The word is now official: I did not get the job. I had really whizzed the interview on Tuesday, which frustrated me because I could have done so much better. Nonetheless, this is a decision that will arrive again in the near future, and it's good to know that I'll be more prepared come that day.

I've been in a funk for awhile now, and I can honestly say that it has lifted. Yeah, I won't be getting that sweet condo I just toured, but there's always next time.
 
Hey, did I mention that it's Cargirl's birthday today?
 
MANY HAPPY RETURNS, CARGIRL!

Woooo! Birthday! Woooo!
 
It's not that you look like a boy, Emily...you just have his eye/nose combo or something. I'm not sure what it is. It works though. Keep up the good work :)
 
If you could also find a way to simultaneously look like Emma Watson, me and the Missus would like to have you over for a...private affair.

No cameras, please. Wands are acceptable.
 
Is this funny?

"Lou Pearlman, the man responsible for creating such 90’s boy bands as ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys, pleaded guilty last Thursday to federal charges of conspiracy and money laundering. If convicted, he faces up to 25 years in prison and production duties on Aaron Carter’s next album."

I'm working on my next Pop Crunch, and this is the only joke I bothered to write down so far.
 
I don't know whether to be flattered or immensely creeped out by you two right now.

Re: Lou Pearlman. Is that true? I mean everything except the Aaron Carter thing, which is humorous.

Although, he seems to enjoy syrupy pop crap, so maybe sentencing him to producing something like the next Rammstein album would be more of a punishment for him.
 
Thanks for the dual birthday shout out, Ryan. I appreciate it.
 
EMILY - Be creeped out. We've taken it to a whole other level today, and for that, I apologize.

...unless you're into it. A wizard hat will be provided if you don't already own one. Mmm-hmm.

Seriously, why do you force this out of me? Your boyfriend is going to punch me in the snoot. Enough!

The Lou Pearlman thing is true. Wouldn't you know it, the guy that founded some of the most successful boy bands in the world was a liar and embezzler, as well as a molester and sexual predator to boot. Who can you trust anymore?

I'm going to run these jokes by everyone all weekend; might be a fun little experiment.
 
Pffft...Lou Pearlman only ever produced acts that were guaranteed to milk the most money - it just so happened that pop-crap geared to the 'tween set has been the most profitable. Didn't Aaron Carter just recently get busted for drugs? I know his brother Nick gained a form of post-N*Sync imfamy down here in Swampland USA for having dated notorious student boffer Debra LaFave in high school.

Hathery - Accio Daniel Radcliffe!

And Emily, I feel what you're saying about having a look that conveys a certain level of androgyny. I have kept my hair pretty short for a long time, and there was a point in my early 20's when I lost a huge amount of weight where I totally looked like a 12 year old boy. Now, I'm pretty chubby, and where all that chub has situated itself it's hard to mistake me for anything but a rather zaftig hobbit of the female persuasion.
 
I have short hair now, too, and strangely enough I think it makes me look MORE feminine. Not sure how that works.

Aaron Carter blossomed into a corpse-flower.
 
I would I'd have commented earlier, but today's been hella-hectic.

I think everything deep and emotional has been said by now, so all I'll add is that no matter what you do or whatever choices you make in life, The CDPeons will always support you to the fullest.
 
Look at that--you even have support from the hooligans across the pond!! :)
 
MAUS - Zaftig hobbit, eh? I think that needs to be a band name. Make it happen!
 
EMILY - I wish to subscribe to your Zaftig Hobbit newsletter. It's probably the off-kilter mood I'm in right now, but I found that all rather cute.

CARROT - Thanks for the British love. I've heard that your love is sweeter and more dense than the love we have over here.

You guy are okay.
 
"On Thurdsay, Brett Favre officially announced his retirement from the National Football League after 17 seasons, 3 MVP awards and records set in almost every major quarterback category. In a related story, Aaron Rogers just blew his brains out."
 
YOU GUY ARE OKAY.
 
WE GO PLAY HOOP
 
WE GIRL ARE SOMETIME OKAY TO.
 
Announcement: I bought a computer today so I could stop blowing up the internets

That is all
 
Is it a Macbook Air? That would rule.
 
Okay, late to the party, but: YOU BEEN HERE FOUR HOUR!

My sides hurt.
 
@hathery Nah, I wish. Its a cheap HP that suites what I do well.
I'm saving up for a macbook if anyone would cae to donate...
 
DAMN! I leave for a week and all H E double hockey sticks breaks loose!

Although it seems the current stuation has resolved itself I would urge you to keep chasing the big jobs. Now is the time to do it. When you're young and full of spunk, vigor and well you get the point. Also, get a travelling job before you even THINK about a family. I sailed for the first five years out of school, made a ton of money and then settled down with the family. I don't make anywhere near what I used to, but it doesen't matter anymore. I have such a happy home life because I sacrificed those five years to provide for it.

I think COMET probably gave you all you need to know. You are still young, five years building up equity for the rest of your life can be a priceless investment.
 
Recieved your book in the mail today. What I've read of it is awe inspiring.

Thanks much..


Did you put anything besides the book and the magnet in mailer? It was obviously 'inspected' by someone...
(For future reference I don't drug mule for any less then 10 percent.)
 
BLU - Thanks much. It's times like this that I'm sincerely glad that I have such an intelligent fanbase. On any other blog, all I'd get is "you're gayz!" and "N000berz!"

And yes, I'm waiting for someone to do that now. It won't be considered unoriginal; but ironically humorous.

CAVEMAN - Thank YOU for purchasing the book. I appreciate it greatly. And yeah, I included a CDP pin along with the magnet and book. I'm sorry if someone swiped it. What kind of cartel is the USPS running up there in Maine?
 
You need to read Peter Pan.
Immediately.

After that, you need to listen to your favorite song.

And after that, you need to laugh heartily.

The decision will be made.
 
"OMG WTF! u nevaz did dat, like, dats like, fkin gay! if i did dat id be like, wowz!!!!"

I just copied that off MSN.



The fact that I was the one who said it is beside the point.
 

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