Friday, May 2

I Read Canned Heat's Entire Wikipedia Page.

Unacceptable.

In an attempt to find out what the longest recorded song in popular music history was, I inadvertently read the entire Wikipedia biography of Canned Heat; one of my least-favorite and most-hated bands of all-time.

I had heard that Canned Heat recorded a 40 minute version of one of their songs on the B-side to a double live album; surely a top contender in the realm of lengthily-recorded modern music. Approximately 30 to 45 minutes later, I had accidentally learned more about these backwoods oafs than I ever wanted to know. In fact, I'm terrified to know what vital knowledge was squeezed out of my brain to make room for this new and unwanted trivial information.

You win this round, Canned Heat. But the battle shall rage on. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend.

Comments:
I understand your troubles. I often go onto Wikipedia looking for one thing, and I click on links and more links and more links, and somehow I'm on a completely unrelated topic, usually the Apocalypse or mind control. By then, I have read way too much useless information, and usually I've forgotten what I was looking for in the first place.

Damn Wikipedia.
 
In that respect, Wikipedia reminds me of the early days of the Internet, where everything was new and search engines weren't very reliable. You would just go on, and click until you were miles away from anything remotely resembling your intended topic. That's beautiful, but you do end up completely forgetting your targeted goal.

If you're interested in mind control, Wiki the Milgram Experiment or the Stanford Prison Experiment; those are decent examples of just how much we can makes others do whatever we want them to do.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon reading a list of people who died on live television. What is wrong with me?
 
How many times are you going to read that list?!?

I inadvertantly learned all about Polish mythology one day on Wikipedia.
 
Mountain Jam by the Allman Brothers on "Eat A Peach" was two album sides.

Didn't one of those pretentious electronic band / DJ types do something over 45 minutes long?
 
HATHERY - Until I have it memorized. I figure it'll come in handy at parties. Damn Internet, making us learn things. Let's get it!

SMEDLEY - I wasn't counting live jams or endless DJ mixes in my search; I just wanted to see what the longest pop song ever was. I didn't realize that the Canned Heat jam was a live recording until my Wikipedia excursion. Damn, dirty Canned Heat.

It's a pointless venture, anyway. There are so many exceptions and parameters, it was a lost cause from the start. At the end of the day, there's a song playing at a church somewhere that chimes one note every hundred years or something, and it's going to be playing for the next thousand years. Nothing can top that.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longplayer

Also, nothing that John Cage does counts.
 
This is all humorously timely. Yesterday, I happened across this article on Wikipedia, and it resulted in 1) me deciding to write a short story about it and 2) clicking every even remotely related link, until I was reading about the history of the Viscount's of Cobham.

I love Wikipedia.
 
See? Most of the time, it turns out to be something neat that you may not have heard about before.

This is my current Wiki-mystery of the moment.
 
Woah, that story is insane. It's almost like there is a real smoke monster up on that mountain!~
 
If Slash's hat and Hillbilly Jim's hat had dirty, dirty 2am bar close sex, Canned Heat's lead singer's hat would be the offspring.

This much I'm convinced of.
 
Here's another article about it, with some more details:

Bang.

It was the tongue thing that did it for me.








/What she said.
 
I'd rather watch Hillbilly Jim's hat in concert than Canned Heat.

Coach K listens to Canned Heat.
 
That story is seriously crazy. I can't believe I never heard about it before!!!
 
Yeah, it's one of my most favorite mysterious stories of the past couple years, actually (my top favorite was the 'Pizza Bomber' story from some years back, until it was discovered that the guy was in on the heist all along). The most logical sign points to an avalanche, but there's too many other factors that throw the argument out of whack.

I like Emily's story, too.
 
Hiding a body in a tree and someone happening to stumble upon that particular tree...that's some bad luck right there.
 
Bloody awful luck, but then the killer was never found (nor the body identified), so....

The Dyatlov Pass story is pretty freaky, and in the interest of keeping the mystery interesting, I'll refrain from relating the sound, scientific explanation that's been reached about it. ;)
 
Canned Heat is one of those "You Had To Be There" bands I know that they sound all old timey but if you watch live footage of them those hippies really seem to be having a good time.
 
EMILY - You're supposed to ignore that stuff. I'm the guy that's obsessed with hoax debunking for the sole purpose of keeping the legends alive. I was also the ghost in Three Men & A Baby.

WILL - Oh, I'm not doubting that they had a good time and are enjoying a great career as rock royalty, it's just that...gaaaahh. I can't wait until Lost Monday so I can get that silly promo picture off of my mainpage.
 
Thanks for the suggestions, CDP. I was recently Wiki-ing something LOST-related, and I ended up on a CIA mind-control operation page and learned a bunch of covert CIA operations and CIA codenames.

The CIA does a lot of mind-control experiments, it's strange.
 
THe CIA has all of our best interests at heart, I think we should leave them alone.

(just in case anyone is monitoring the comments, I'm a middle-class white guy.)
 
A lot of these psychological plot devices in fictional media come from actual CIA experiments (depending on what you choose to believe, of course). Hell, I just watched a two-hour documentary on Sirhan Sirhan, explaining how he was brainwashed by the CIA to murder Robert Kennedy. Crazy thing was that it was sort of believable.

I then watched a documentary about Bellvue Hospital, where I realized that some people are just flat-out insane. In HD, no less.
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Don't you people have jobs?

But seriously, that mountain storey is freahay-kay. It's suprising noones made a movie of it yet. It would be like Blair Witch, but without the finding out it was all a big publicity stunt thing.

Man that film would rock so hard...
 
We're Americans, Carrot. This is our job. Most of my regular readers are employed by me and on the CDP payroll.

(Has a Blair Witch poster in his office, signed by Michael Williams. Met him at the Mall Of America by accident.)
 
Oh yeah? Well one time I served coffee to Butch Vig.

Beat that.
 
I don't think that meeting Michael Williams was a big deal. After all, this guy's only claim to fame was that he was the dude standing in the corner at the end of The Blair Witch Project. That being said, it's a neat poster, and looks good in the office.

Butch Vig has done good things for Madison. When I was doing music production in school, I got to use the console and reel-to-reel that Nevermind was recorded on.
 
My parents saw Canned Heat, and they assure me that it was awful.

What's the sound scientific conclusion? I kind of figured they got good and battered by an avalance, hence the internal injuries similar to a car accident. The tongue though...that I'm not sure on.
 
Oh yeah? Well one time I served coffee to Butch Vig.

Beat that.


I met Nick Lachey by accident at the Hilton, and had my picture taken with him. I also met Adam West (how many more times can I bring meeting Adam West up in conversation? haha), and I had a dream that I met Bill Clinton last night.

Pretty awesome.
 
I don't think that meeting Michael Williams was a big deal. After all, this guy's only claim to fame was that he was the dude standing in the corner at the end of The Blair Witch Project. That being said, it's a neat poster, and looks good in the office.

Canned Heat should have done the soundtrack for Blair Witch. That's the only way it could have sucked more.
 
then watched a documentary about Bellvue Hospital, where I realized that some people are just flat-out insane. In HD, no less.


Sorry to comment spam, but you didn't watch that without me, did you?!?!?
 
I watched the first 5 minutes, and I stopped because I was crying.
 
Aw, come on... you should give Canned Heat a chance!
 

Post a Comment

<< Home