Wednesday, July 23

The CDP Dark Knight Giveaway Finalists!

It doesn't happen very often, but every once in a great while, Hollywood and the mainstream get something right. Absolutely, 100%, right-jab-straight-into-the-pant-bulge spot-on. I can say without a shred of uncertainty that The Dark Knight is one of those rare moments.

For the first time in over a decade, the biggest and most lucrative movie on Earth is also the best and most worthy of praise. The Dark Knight is nearly perfect; a film that is so above and beyond any 'Superhero' or 'Comic Book' film that it's almost an insult to call it one. Christopher Nolan and his ensemble cast of performers created a picture that, while I'm sure it will receive one or two, should never be followed by another sequel under any circumstances. They've put the finishing touches on a once-tanking franchise by devising the most perfect send-off of all-time; a movie that is on par with Titanic and the LOTR trilogy in terms of its cinematic experience and brilliance. It deserves to be followed-up by nothing; it's magnitude will be impossible to replicate in the Batman universe.

I'll say no more about the plot, scenes, tone, performances or storyline. It simply needs to be seen, and apparently, it's been seen by quite a few people, smashing opening weekend all-time box office records (suck it, Spider-Man 3!). The IMAX footage is breathtaking, Chicago as Gotham City is beautifully filmed, and Oscar nominations will surely follow for Heath Ledger and various other cinematic creations spotlighted in The Dark Knight. I'm also extremely proud of Christopher Nolan; a guy that once shot Following for a few thousand dollars is now at the helm of a film that could gross over a billion dollars. Good for him; he deserves it.

I'm fresh out of adjectives and descriptive paragraphs, so I'll close the book on this rant by posting the following photo, which accurately represents my unspoken feelings towards The Dark Knight:

Let's move on. We have Dark Knight theatrical posters to give away!

If you recall from last week, I launched a contest for CDP readers to come up with a new tagline for the CDP. For years now, I've been using 'Jumping The Shark Since 2004,' a phrase that was co-created by myself and CDP Original Gangsta, Paste. The time has finally come to retire said tagline and venture forth towards total Blog mediocrity and self-defeat. Achieving ALL, and soforth.

Before we get started, I want to mention a few quick things. First, the winner will receive a Dark Knight poster of their choosing and the distinguished honor of having their tagline grace the CDP sidebar until the end of time (or until we decide to do something like this again). I had said before that the First Prize winner would receive two Dark Knight posters, but I changed it to one because I wanted to recognize as many great entries as I could. I hope that the winner understands.

Secondly, the six finalists will be contacted by me via e-mail to determine mailing addresses and who wants what poster (First Place gets first dibs, and so on). I assume it'll take a day or two to sort everything out, and all packages should be in the mail by Friday.

Finally, it should be mentioned that I did the judging myself, and accepted no opinions or suggestions from any third party, including the Missus. I just chose what I thought was funny, indicative of the CDP and representative of the site as a whole. It was extremely difficult and I never want to do it again, so no hard feelings, okay?

Let's get on with it! Here are my Top 15 CDP Tagline submissions (out of well over 100; thank you!). The Top 6 receive one of the following four theatrical posters from the biggest and best movie on the planet, The Dark Knight! Enjoy.

#15. “So Good, It’ll Make You Want To Slap Your Momma!
- Submitted by Wigglycito (via e-mail).

#14. “It’s Almost Like Having Real Friends.
- Submitted by Hilbelink.

#13. “The Place That Gives You Taste.”
- Submitted by Kate.

#12. “Wisconsin’s Fourth Best Export.”
- Submitted by Maus.

#11. “Bigger Than Jesus And Cereal Combined.”
- Submitted by Emily.

#10. “Putting The Bomp In The Bomp-A-Bomp-A-Bomp Since 2004."
(Swears No Involvement In Putting The Ram In The Ram-A-Lam-A-Ding-Dong)
- Submitted by Caveman.

#9. “If You Can Find A Better Blog, You’re A Dick!
- Submitted by Ephland.

#8. “Your New Mancrush.”
- Submitted by the Slackmistress.

#7. “Rock Out With Your Pop Culture Out.”
- Submitted by Bruce.

#6. “Quirky And Awkward. On Purpose.”
-Submitted by Caitlin. (WINNER!)

#5. “Making Your Day Better Since 2004; Like Alcohol.
-Submitted by Cargirl. (WINNER!)

#4. “Where Fun Goes To Die Since 2004.
- Submitted by Maus. (WINNER!)

#3. “Awkward Slow Dances With Pop Culture Since 2004.
- Submitted by Emily. (WINNER!)

#2. “Rocking Pop Culture Since 2004.”
- Submitted by Kate. (WINNER!)

#1. “Welcome To The World’s Largest Dysfunctional Family.
- Submitted by Caveman. (GRAND PRIZE WINNER!)

There you have it. Like I said, I'll be contacting the six finalists by e-mail shortly to sort out what's going where. I want to thank everyone once again for playing along; I expect a few of these to end up on CDP merchandise in the near future. Congrats to the winners!

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

I'm hip!
Top Ten!!!!
Congrats to the winners!
Seriously? I'm a winnah!?? Thanks so much!
E-mails have been sent to the prize winners. Thanks for playing, everyone.
Woohoo top 15!!
I'm surprised I actually made the list.
IZZY - Your tagline reminded me of Def Comedy Jam, which I used to watch religously in the 90's.

Woo! #3 in the house!

Congrats to Caveman, though, who schooled us all in awesomeness. :)
I second those congrats to Caveman. That line sums it up pretty well.
I love #15! I laugh every time I read it. I think I am going to use that line in every day conversation.

"How was dinner at that new place downtown?"

"So good, it'll make you wanna slap yo' momma!"

Example 2:
Student-"How did I do on my project?"

Me-"So good, it'll make you wanna slap yo' momma!"

I made a few little tweaks to match how I envision myself saying it.

I am easily amused.

And yes, congrats to Caveman. It's so true.

I joker-ized my facebook pic yesterday (because I am a nerd), it was just like foreshadowing for today!

Was anyone else excited to see Richard Alpert as the mayor of Gotham City???
Yay for the top 15!
CAITLIN - I saw your Jokerized photo this morning on Facebook when I was fishing for your e-mail address (I hope I used the right one). Looks badass.

Richard Alpert as Gotham's mayor made me think that Batman is part of the Lost Universe. Like maybe Mittelos Bioscience and Widmore control Gotham City, too. Freaked me out for a few hours.

His perma-Guyliner freaked me out, too.
I'm running off to give my thanks to Reese for providing the posters (I forgot to do that after the original post for the contest).
No doubt; Reese made it happen. I hope this is the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship of her sending me free things under the guise of film promotion. :)
Richard= sexiest mayor ever
Heh - no kidding! I could send you oranges or tacky tourist trinkets, but I doubt offering to give those as prizes would net you the same response. :D
Yay for Reese! Reese, I thought of you while I was watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory because of all the Danny Elfman music! :)
How did "Pitching a Tent with your little sister" not make the top 15?
EEK! I'm so excited!

Congrats to Caveman - very well deserved! Also, must shout out to Bruce - that is totally my "fan favorite."

And thank you so, so much to CDP and Reese! You guys are the coolest kids in school.

This will be the sole item that saves my apartment from total white-wallness (I have a negative decorator gene). Huzzah!
WILL - I left your taglines off due to your exempt status, but yeah, 'Show Us On The Doll' was a genuine winner.

KATE - Gnarly. No problem!

I'm trying to work 'gnarly' back into my daily conversations, by the way. That new Burger King commercial makes me laugh way harder than it should.
They should totally work that into the next season of LOST. Richard will be all like "I'm going to be missing from the island for a couple of days ... I'm a pretty important person on the mainland, have to make some appearances, you know? Have some important things to do ... can't have the Joker put away, we need him here, he'd be better than Ben ... I mean, what?"
Totally! Because I'm a complete nerd, I was thinking about the Lost and Batman Universes combining for like, two hours this weekend. I was constructing plotlines and whatnot; it was fairly intense.

I love how prominently Chicago was on display in The Dark Knight. Also, and I don't know if this would be classified as a 'blooper' or whatever, but almost all of the cars had Illinois plates. So are we to assume that Gotham City is in Illinois, or were just not supposed to notice?
I noticed. It seemed appropriate, because everyone was driving like a jack-ass. ;P
I noticed that the Gotham plates looked like Illinois plates (looked exactly the same only said 'Gotham' on top ...) so maybe they either thought we would just think all the plates said Gotham since they look the same, or they all actually did and we didn't notice...
Yay to all y'all for seeing the movie and welcoming me to the CDysfunctionalP family!

Clone Wars, the Watchmen and Harry Potter are coming soon...
EMILY - You win this thread. Congrats!

CAITLIN - Maybe they didn't think that non-Illinois folk wouldn't be able to spot an Illinois plate. Either way, they accompany about a tenth of a second of the film, but I'm glad to know that a lot of others spotted it, too.

REESE - Watchmen trailer looked insane, but the 10 second Half-Blood Prince trailer got the biggest applause from my theater. I'm ready for both.
I have to admit that Bruce's was also my "fan favorite."

I think I will go see The Dark Knight next week. Matinee. I am cheap. And then I will feel less guilty about buying popcorn.
I am totally stoked for the new HP movie.

HELP! I know this is not related to anything, but I am looking for ideas for speech topics that would allow me to use a lot of gesture any movement. Any ideas anyone? Please?!
And speaking of Illinois drivers...I was sitting in Culvers on Friday and I overheard some people from IL talking about being called FIBs. I think they were trying to figure out exactly what we Wisconsinites mean by it, and they eventually figured it out. Silly FIBs.
Also, that guy in the truck in the scene with the lamborghini (don't want to ruin anything if people haven't seen it so I'm being vague, but you all know what I'm talking about) TOTALLY looked like Brett Favre.
Hilbelink - where are you/your husband from? There are a lot of Hilbelinks in my neck of the woods, aka Oostburg.
HILBELINK - "I am looking for ideas for speech topics that would allow me to use a lot of gesture and movement."

Michael J. Fox should work.

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

CAITLIN - Farve makes a Dark Knight cameo! I officially have an excuse to go and see it again.
I bet Caveman has no idea he's won yet.
And speaking of Illinois drivers...I was sitting in Culvers on Friday and I overheard some people from IL talking about being called FIBs. I think they were trying to figure out exactly what we Wisconsinites mean by it, and they eventually figured it out. Silly FIBs.

I've never heard that expression before...
Watchmen trailer looked insane, but the 10 second Half-Blood Prince trailer got the biggest applause from my theater.

Got both of those either posted or linked to over on my blog, and I was very impressed by the trailer for The Watchmen. My best friend and I are prepared to synchronize our schedules around the HP premier.

The big rumor down here in the Swampland is that the Buccaneers are courting Favre.
HATHERY - You've never heard 'FIBs?' Interesting. I never say it, but I know a lot of rednecks that find the term hilarious.

MAUS - I didn't realize that Half-Blood Prince comes out this November. I figured March 2009, like The Watchmen. Nice.
Congrats, Caveman. :)

Wait, wait, wait. 10 second Half Blood prince trailer? I was robbed! I didn't see that!

Oh, and that pic of the Cyberman playing a pink guitar with fireworks? Hell yeah that kicks ass.
KAREN - Check out YouTube; I'm sure it's around there somewhere. Nothing much to see, though. Just a mumbled Dumbledore comment and the new logo. Seriously; that's it.

Yeah, isn't that photo amazing? I didn't create it, but as soon as I saw it, I knew its words to be true. It really is one of the most awesome things I've ever seen. I'm contemplating getting a poster of it.
Well shit...(pardon my language)
I never win anything!

Thanks to everyone.
I couldn't do it without you guys..
Caitlin-Both sides of my husband's family are from Oostburg, and I end up down there every Christmas. Small world!
CDP-Umm...I am pretty sure I would get kicked out of the room and the club if did that.
HILBELINK - Do a speech that utilizes a lot of dialogue from the perspective of a child. Either you're telling a childhood story and acting out your personal state of mind at the time, or you're telling a more recent story about the behavior of your students. Either way, you get to spazz out.

CAVEMAN - You earned it; congrats!
Yeah...I was planning on spazzing out anyway. That is sort of my specialty. :)
Hilbelink - There are so many Hilbelinks (I graduated with at least 3) around here I figured you had to have some sort of connection to da 'burg
HATHERY - You've never heard 'FIBs?' Interesting. I never say it, but I know a lot of rednecks that find the term hilarious.

Nope, never heard it before. I'm missing out.
HATHERY - Not really; it's fairly asinine. Now that I know that Gotham City is in Illinois, I'll be a little more respectful to that state.

Got up early this morning and shaved the beard. No words were spoken between the two of us; there was nothing more left to say. No photos were taken, and in time, no one will remember that it ever existed.
Damn. Wish I had more access to the internet over the past few weeks so I could have participated.

Still, not sure I could have usurped any of the top spots.

Sure feels good to be back, regardless.
Gotham City's being in IL does not excuse the terrible driving habits of the people who reside in that state. I live near the border, and many people from Illinois drive like lunatics. I know that it is not all people from that state. There are probably three people who drive responsibly.
JT - Welcome back, man. Good to find you back in the Wired.

HILBELINK - Now that you mention it, Cargirl is the only Illinois driver that I know for sure to be somewhat responsible.

To me, I was amazed by how the driving was in Toronto. I suppose it has more to do with competing in a major metropolitan area than Ontario itself, but it was an absolute trip.
Thanks, man. I still don't have access to my music files to finish my mix CD, but I promise to complete it ASAP.
No problem; you have the cyber-equal to a doctor's note.
I actually learned to drive while living in Illinois, but thankfully I learned from my dad, who is not from Illinois, and I moved away shortly thereafter. So I'm an excellent driver.

I think part of the problem is that a lot of the IL drivers who come to WI think of this place as their playground, and that translates into their driving habits.

But then, stupid driving certainly isn't limited to people from IL.
No doubt about it, stupid driving is universal. I contemplate shotgun murders every day during my morning commute.
I contemplate shotgun murders every day during my morning commute.

Please don't move to Los Angeles.
Yeah, that would pretty much spell my doom.

Or everyone elses', I haven't decided yet.
I am so glad I no longer need to worry about commuting. My drive to work is 3 minutes on a bad day during the school year. It takes about 8 minutes during the summer because I drive to a different school. But tomorrow is the last day for that! Yipeee!

I can finally devote my days to sitting in Starbucks with my laptop and writing that screenplay.

Not really...I am just having a Family Guy moment.
*Topic Change*

I'm looking for the version of Sinead O'Connor's "I Want Your Hands On Me" featuring a rap break by MC Lyte. I have it on cassette. But can't find it in mp3 form!

Anyone? Anyone?
Rant, rant, rantie-rant-rant!

I was having lunch at Panera Bread with the Missus last week, and I was flabbergasted over these wenises that would show up, order a Small coffee and spend the rest of the afternoon taking up an entire table while they surf the Internet.

Why don't they get kicked out? They're taking up space and not spending any money; any decent establishment would send these freeloaders to the curb after 30 minutes. I kept saying to the Missus, "Why don't these people just go home? Go to the library? Go somewhere where they're not impeding commerce?" To which she replied, "They probably don't have Internet access at home."

This just made me angrier.

And what were these people doing, you might ask? Some sort of Internet-based International business meeting? First draft of that great American novel or screenplay?

Nope. Playing Scrabulous on Facebook. Every damn one of them.

People, seriously. Don't pretend to yourself that you're interacting with non-digital Society if you decide to surf the web outside of your home or office. You're merely wasting the space or someone that really wants to sit there and eat their Portabella Panini.

Go home!
Well, now that we're talking about Illinois drivers, it's finally time that I share the Not-Guilty plea with everyone that we received at our office. As you'll see, Illinois drivers do not realize that they have to pay attention while driving.
REESE - Right Here!

Wow...that song is sexy.

HATHERY - I love that story. I remember when you shared that with me, and I laughed for about five minutes.
or = of, by the by.
Hot damn!
Thank you thank you - movie swag for everyone
REESE - Sometimes, my Internet Superpowers are used for good. This was one of those times. I love weird searches like that; I would have stayed up all night looking for that damn thing if I had to.

I believe you already have my address on file. :)
Hathery - Your tale only serves to strengthen my belief in the inherent stupidity of most drivers. And gave me a good chuckle, thanks.

Changing the subject, I almost hate to bring this up, but it's too good: Duke actually gets something right.
EMILY - Wow, I'm secretly hoping that a bomb goes off in that asshole-jammed courtroom.

Andrew Giuliani? Wasn't that the fat kid that made a complete tool out of himself during Rudy's last inauguration? And he wants to be a pro golfer?

Head...hurting...urge to kill the yuppies...rising...

Reese-You've still got my address? Right???
Wow, that totally IS the kid that was making funny faces during that speech! Ha ha ha.

BTW, you all are missing out if you didn't read that not-guilty plea I linked to. It is seriously amusing.
Hi all
I have found two interesting sources and and would like to give the benefit of my experience to you.
i agree.

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