Monday, July 7

Welcome To Devil's Lake. Go To Hell (Redux).

Grillin like a villain.
(I want to let everyone know that your favorite Blogger Boy is doing okay, but he has some things that he needs to work out right now. Until he gets his mind right, please enjoy this CDP Flashback Post from July 5, 2007. Thank you, and please take a moment to join the CDP Blog Network on Facebook.)

I may be stating the obvious here, but I've never been a huge fan of Independence Day. I don't like fireworks, I don't like going outside in July, and I'm merely tolerating America on a day-to-day basis. To me, it's just another paid holiday. But yesterday, me and the Missus (along with Ben & Sherry) headed out to Devil's Lake State Park for an afternoon of grilling, drinking and throwing pine cones at crows.

The drive through southern Wisconsin was beautiful as always, taking in incredible hillsides and other Ice Age artifacts along the way. True to idiotic form, however, I assumed that we were the only people brilliant enough to come up with the idea to spend our Fourth of July at Devil's Lake. We were wrong, but nonetheless found a nice tree to set up camp under.

Ben got things going on the grill.

Grillin like an ass.

When Vegetarians grill out, it's slightly different than when most normal people throw down. Hamburgers become veggie burgers, hot dogs become veggie dogs, and steak becomes sweet corn. For as healthy of an alternative as vegetarianism is, I was more than winded after only 30 seconds of tossing the football around. The fact that it was about a brazillion degrees didn't help any.

I did my best to stay hydrated by sucking down a massive batch of Bomb Pop that I whipped up just for this trip. It's a refreshing Summer drink that consists of grenadine, lemonade and about a quart of Blue UV. At least, the concoction that I mixed did. It gave me the strength I needed to play a strenuous game of Bocce ball and eat over 5 pounds of both potato and macaroni salad.

Drinkin like an ass.

I didn't wear my commie shirt for any comedic effect on Independence Day, it was just a coincidence. Also, it wasn't a coincidence, and I'm only suggesting it was to cork the cryholes of those who don't think it's funny. It is funny, and you can kind of see my right nipple in that photo. I bought it at Urban Outfitters, so you can assume that it's incredibly thin and more than a little overpriced. But that's the price you pay for wanting to look like a douchebag.

As I slowly slipped into a coma, we did some people-watching, which included no less than an hour of a severely overweight woman attempting to fly a kite. By herself. Honestly, for over an hour. I then set my car alarm off from 20 yards away when a little girl rode her bike past it. I was trying to get her to actually fall off of the bike, but I was still pleased with the results.

Veggie patties ahoy!

After most of the alcohol had been drank and the food properly digested, we said goodbye to Devil's Lake and hit the nearest Go-Kart track. If there's one thing more fun than driving Go-Karts on the Fourth of July, it's doing it whilst partially hammered.

Just the four of us had the entire track to ourselves, which we tore up like nobody's business. For the sake of protecting their egos and social status, I will not tell you how badly I destroyed the other three contestants. Let's just say that I looked like Toad and Toadette rocking the Daisy Cruiser in Mirror Mode with the Pink Kart (if you got that reference, you're officially invited to my next Mario Kart party).

Just a reminder; today's post is brought to you by rocks.

Rocks. Nature's rock.

Rockin the rocks.

It's times like this that I feel very fortunate to live in Wisconsin. We have so many different formations and varying degrees of land here, that you get to take in a lot of the nation by never crossing state lines. It's not perfect, but damn, I've never once thought that Wisconsin wasn't anything short of awesome.

After a long day outside, we headed back to CDP Headquarters, where we realized that Ben had left his keys back at the campsite, almost an hour away. This happened because they got dropped onto the ground at some point by accident. We verified this by zooming in on one of our photos, CSI-style.

Have a look at this unassuming photo of our post-lunch mess. Everything seems innocent enough, but what's that metallic object buried in the grass?

Uh-ohs.

We'd better zoom in for a closer look. Can we get a magnification on this?

Oh noes!

Damn.

Looks like someone's going to be sitting at my house tomorrow afternoon, waiting for their wife to get home from work. I sure hope I didn't throw my metal detector away.

So, Fourth of July week is drawing to a close, leaving me relatively unscathed. I got minimal sunburn, no hangovers to speak of and nothing but good stories to tell. I genuinely hope that your week has been as good as mine. If it hasn't, I guess I don't give a crap.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Comments:
Hope whatever you're workin' out works out, dollface.
 
I feel indescribably cool to see a flashback that I read when it was actually posted.

I'm way too cool.
 
Hope all turns out well. I know how it is to work out some things. I think I do it every other week. :)

As for that picture of Ben...I saw the "Ass" written on the photo, and I fully expected to see his ass as I continued to scroll down. Why? I dunno for sure, but I think it is because I have a few photos from back in the day when he is showing his bare ass to the camera. Ahhh...the college years.
 
Work it out work it out oh yeeeeeah!

Hope things go well, and you come back to your loyal minions soon. :)
 
Whatcha workin' on? Is it the fact that I been barfin' for 2 days?
 
Yikes...I hope you stop barfing soon Hathery.
 
Aww, Hathery! That sucks!

The whole Zeinert family better hurry up and feel better.
 
Hathery has the flu? Or...something?

I'm bored and full of ennui and I need new content to distract me. Pleez?
 
She's not pregnant.
 
No, not pregnant. Thought I had the food poisoning, but apparently I have the flu because I gave it to Ryan's mom too :( :(
 
Yes, it must be the flu because I know I'm not pregnant!

Ryan wore a communist t-shirt this fourth also. Coincedence...really?
 
It's not tomato - or possibly jalapeno - salmonella I hope?
 
Wait, Hathery got Ryan's mom pregnant?
 
Giggity.
 
TAMARAZ - I own at least four Commie-related shirts, and I typically only wear them on Federal holidays. They seem out of place on any other day.

MAUS - Nope, just the flu. We initially figured it was tomato-related salmonella, as the symptoms are almost identical to the flu in the early stages.

MOE - I think that comment just gave me salmonella.

EMILY - Goo.
 
Good news everyone...I just received my mixes. And am currently enjoying them.
 
Yeah! I got an excellent mix from my person (I need to go look up the name in the morning because I actually forgot who sent it,,, but I still love you!) And if anyone likes, you can listen to my mix online here. Maybe some good mixes will help all the Zeinerts feel better!
 
Thanks, Domsar! For the record, I'm working on a new post that will hopefully go up tomorrow. The Missus is 100% over her nasty flu, and I'm in the process of getting over whatever the hell was bothering me this week.
 
An $8,000 bike? I drive a $5,000 car!
 
Who pays $8,000 for a bike with no brakes? Idiot.
 
The story was woefully brief, but I'm guessing this genius rode the $8,000 bike to somewhere to use an indoor ATM and did not secure said $8,000 bike? Would've made more sense to just ride up to an outdoor machine. But this IS someone who paid $8,000 for a bike with no brakes, so...
 

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