Friday, August 22

My Car On Google Street View.



I'm a published author. I've been interviewed dozens of times. My blog has received hundreds of thousands of visitors and fans over the last 4.5 years. The CDP has been voted Wisconsin's funniest since 2005. A Google search of my name returns 12,200 results. People have recognized me on the street, and I have been complimented and praised by complete strangers.

And yet, none of that matched the pure, unbridled joy that I felt when I saw my car parked in my driveway on Google Street View. This blurry, pixelated snapshot taken from a robotic camera mounted on the roof of a Toyota Prius caused me to leap from my chair, call the Missus into my office and point at the monitor like a monkey with a new mirror.

"It's my car!" I exclaimed. "In our driveway!"

"That's very nice," replied the Missus. "Can we order a pizza now?"

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend.

Comments:
Jealous!
 
Sweet. How do you capture an image from Street View? I've tried, but maybe I'm mentally deficient because I haven't been able to get it to work.
 
CARGIRL - The Wild Stallion v4.0 has been immortalized!

MAUS - I just took a screen print and Photoshopped in the goodness. Up until a few weeks ago, they were using an old image of my street that didn't feature the Stallion, so I knew I had to act fast with my screengrabbing.
 
I wish the Minster had made it's way into the street view :(
 
I would have gladly conceded my spot to see the MINI get Street View'd.

Even more so, I'm glad that we're able to put our cars in the garage now.
 
Oooh, oooh, Mr. Kotter! (that's the sound of me raising my hand asking to join in)

So I had a chuckle last fall when I checked Google Maps after I moved out of my house.

OLD HOUSE

The Google car captured us while I was literally moving OUT of the house! You can see my brother and dad in the garbled pixel up by the front door, behind the U-Haul.

And here is my current Google Maps image from my apartment.

CURRENT

It totally sucks having to live above Victoria's Secret. Luckily, I'm a very polite fella, and offer the ladies my apartment as a spare dressing room should they not want to wait in line.
 
I've always wanted to live above a mall. When we were in St. Paul, we ate breakfast at a condo/retail building-type thing, and I realized just how broke I'd be if there was a restaurant under the same roof as me. I still think that's awesome, though.

Getting your car Street Viewed is one thing, but getting yourself on there is entirely another. Kudos to you, good sir.
 
My street is not currently an option, but you can view my former place of employment, the Village Idiot. And the Cap'n's car is parked out front.
 
Screengrabs! Links! It's a Google Street View Extravaganza!
 
I have a love/hate relationship with it. As in, I love everything about it. But I hate being tempted to run through my paycheck before it's even been direct deposited!

Seriously. Try having an Apple store and California Pizza Kitchen beneath you, and a Barnes & Noble, Alterra Coffee, Bar Louie, and a movie theater within a 12 second walk. You realize that you could make George Clooney money and still not have enough to do everything you'd really like to do!

Next time you and The Missus are going to be in Milwaukee, lemme know and I'll give you the tour of our little "town center." And then we'll drink $2 pints of Spotted Cow until, well, the cows come home, as The Missus spends both of your paychecks at the Coach store that's nine seconds away.
 
Wow Bruce, you live in a pretty fancy-pants neighborhood!
 
Here's my work on a screen cap. Ooh la la!!
 
And here's a screen cap of something special in our house.
 
Moist hedge-snozzle!
 
Isn't it cute???
 
Exactly, Bruce. I'd be in a whole heap of trouble if I lived where you did. But really though, I doubt you're complaining; those are the kinds of problems you want to have.

We'll come down and visit someday, for realsies. My recent avoidance of the Milwaukeeland area has kept me from hanging out with Domsar, too.

HATHERY - Google Street View didn't snap that hog! Shenanigans!
 
I snapped the hog :) :) That was during one of her more recent photo shoots, I believe.
 
It's definitely convenient for days like today, where I'm using a vacation day from work as a staycation. WiFi'in from the coffee shop and bummin' around. Makes me feel a little less-guilty for not actually leaving town on my day off!

BTW: Snapping the hog sounds dirtier than it's intended to sound.
 
BRUCE - Indeed it does. WE just need to determine what it means.
 
Eeeew, don't talk gross about my Laika!!
 
I picture a bunch of teenage hogs in a locker room, wearing towels on their waists, taking turns rat-tailing each other.

Course, I'm drunk.
 
Not to be the one who kills the party but why are you surprised to see your car in front of your house. Look at my house on street view and you can see what color my curtains are. It's your house, where else would the car be?
 
I don't know...in the garage, maybe?

You did notice that the main point of today's post was my unnecessary and borderline-embarrassingly surprised reaction to seeing my car, in my own driveway, on the Internet, right?

I mean, not to be rude, but your comment was basically the equivalent of explaining a joke to someone. That's the whole point, man!
 
Let's not fight about how to tell a joke in front to the kids.
 
I'm just saying that the post attempts to be funny by spotlighting my unrestrained excitement over a seemingly pedestrian moment. 'Tis all.

It should also be mentioned that Post #800 is one week away, and to celebrate this, I will be giving one lucky fan $800!* Don't miss your chance to cash in!










*Checks will not be honored.
 
My favorite internet activity (besides googling* myself, but I won't share the number you kids can play that game at home) is to find the random places I'm linked. Such as an Australian Hilary Duff Fan Club message board, and a Yahoo group that caters to men who have a fetish for women with colds.


*I'm not sharing where we live, I already have a difficult enough problem with the hobos masturbating in the bushes, thanks. So I'll give you the google numbers:

Full name, no quotes:
30,200

Full name, quotes:
3,390

Full name, with middle initial (I used this for a good portion of my TV work): 3,760

slackmistress:
12,200
 
I think "snapping the hog" is definitly to be associated with male self-pleasure.
 
JT - From this day forth, it shall be written in stone.

SLACKIEPOO - Random linkage is the best. I remember seeing one of my essays translated onto a Japanese site that just had my name (and nothing else) in English. What can you do but be amused?

Cold Fetishes are new for me, but I venture to ask why these people can't just be attracted to you when you're healthy.
 
When I google my name, all that comes up are links to information about me at work, and then a bunch of results for people who are not me. BO-RING. I guess the fact that I stalk the 'nets using a large collection of unrelated nicknames and nom de blogs could be why search results for my given name turn up nada. Oh, and the fact that I haven't done anything terribly notable with my life. Yet.

A cold fetish? Sounds contagious.
 
A Google search for my real name yielded exactly two results prior to November of 2007. Two months after my book was released, there was over 10,000. I can say without any uncertainty that it was a terrifying experience.

In amongst all of that is a link that's work-related and contains my office number. Feel free to leave me a voice message if you happen to find it.
 
It's actually very rare that the car was in the driveway. The car is normally either a.) at work or b.) nicely tucked away in the garage. Having the car parked in the driveway (on MY side of the driveway no less) is like a 1 in 1 million chance at our house.
 
In amongst all of that is a link that's work-related and contains my office number. Feel free to leave me a voice message if you happen to find it.

You should never put an invitation like that out there if you don't want people to rise to the challenge & leave weird random messages on your voicemail. :)

Do your work phones happen to have caller ID?
 
Well, it's not like I can do anything about it. It's out there because it's a public number, and I am (sadly) still a public servant.

Call me. Leave a message; I never answer my phone. I can't call you back, obviously, but I'll get a kick out of it.
 
you have a job where you can choose to not answer your phone?? That would be heaven. I have people who will refuse to leave a message. They'll just keep calling. Then they call the receptionist. Then they STOP BY to see if I'm there. To tell me they called.

Also still sadly a public servant.
 
Well, it's not like I shouldn't be answering the phone, but...you know. I only get about 4 calls a day that are for me anyway.
 
WOW! I just looked and I think I can see Gabe in the window. That cat is AMAZING!
 
Y'know, I'm equal parts fascinated and horrified by Google Streetview. On the one hand, it's awesome to be able to get a good look at a place you're going, to make getting there easier. And being able to look at places you haven't been in awhile, or catch other people in embarrassing/hilarious moments is also fun. But there's something creepy and downright Orwellian about it all, too.

As for Googling myself (and yes, haven't we all tried it at least once?) - I'm kind of an internet whore, so I come up a lot. There seem to be two other ladies with my name who have a good presence online--one of which I'm actually friendly with, the other of which kind of scares me. She's published a book about being the best subservient wife you can be in the name of God, and I'm somewhat ashamed to have my good name associated with that. :P
 

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