Friday, December 5

Hand Me My Spatula, Good Sir!



Have I mentioned recently how much I love my wife?

Short Post Week at the CDP has come to a close, but the Year-End festivities are just getting started. All next week, I'll be doing something that I've never done in the 5-year history of the CDP; digging through my filing cabinets and re-publishing some pre-CDP blog essays from 2000-2002.

These upcoming essays were originally published on the long-deleted website of my old punk band almost eight years ago, and I've been meaning to give them new life for a long time now. Teenage essays about moving out of my grandparents' basement, adjusting to adult life with my then-girlfriend, and even attending college (something I've never written about on the CDP) with be spotlighted. Out of approximately 50 of the 'Dark Period' essays written at that time, about 10 of them survived and will be shared. Apparently, I was studying too hard to write a single funny thing from 2003 to February of 2004.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend. Remember to get your Best & Worst of 2008 e-mails sent to me as soon as you can. Tally ho!

ALL NEXT WEEK: 5 PRE-CDP ESSAYS (2000-2002).

Comments:
Mmmm cake. That reminds me that I haven't had breakfast.

Yeah. You should be grateful for having an awesome wife. Especially if she bakes you cakes with slightly bawdy phrases on them.
 
That cake was hella delicious.
 
I'm anxious to hear about theCDP: The Dark Era.

And I'm too tired to be funny.
 
MAUS - Exactly. I don't know if the phrase was a command from the cake or from the Missus, but I'll do both, just to be sure.

Wow; can't believe I just said that.

HOSS - Thanks, man! The '00-'02 stuff is interesting, not in that it's particularily well-written (not at all, actually), but it fills in certain spots in the CDP timeline, spotlights me at my most introspective and emo, and perhaps even shows some promise for my future in not only writing, but functioning as a human being, too.

I hope people like it.
 
Oh my gosh that was dirty! DIRTY!
 
It'll be like finding Orwell's diary from before he was famous and shit, and discovering that he was just obsessed with animals and gardening.
 
Emily just gave me my new favorite mystery. What is up with cataloging the eggs - were they egss he had eaten or eggs he had collected? Something else entirely?
 
Angsty teen lit ... woo hoo!

Will you have a recommended angsty playlist to accompany said essays?!
 
Maus - The world may never know.

On a side note, today, in honor of the CDP and all of the wonderful personal essays he makes available to the world, I have once again tried my hand at just such a thing. Only it's not quite as funny, and a little bit ridiculous. Still, I tried. :)
 
HATHERY - You started it by writing it on the cake, little lady.

EMILY - It's totally like Orwell's Diary, only I'm trying way harder to be taken seriously. Seriously.

BRUCE - I'm including some period photos for sure, and yeah, I'll try to include a parallel Mix listing and complimentary links. Lots of footnotes and whatnot; this should be actually pretty awesome.

I found something today that I for sure thought that I had lost forever...the first contact between myself and the Missus via the Internet from 1999. This is like the Holy Grail, kids.

EMILY AGAIN - I loved that story! Go read Emily's story, everybody!
 
Someone explain this Orwell diary thing to me.
 
Oh okay....it's really just his diary. Huh.
 
I'm including some period photos for sure

So we'll get a gallery of emo haircuts? It would be the equivalent of every mid-90s photo of me ever taken, where I'm pouting and wearing a ridiculous amount of flannel.
 
Thanks, Ryan.

I am excited for this Holy Grail of which you speak.

I'm including some period photos for sure

Is it wrong that my mind immediately went to the bad place when I read that?
 
I'm glad that people are excited about the pre-CDP essays.

MAUS - Pics or the 90's never happened.

I hope I can track down some decent 1999-2002 pictures, because I don't recall having a camera at that point.

EMILY - I thought the same thing as I was writing it, to be honest. I like my female fans a lot; they think naughtily.
 

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