Wednesday, February 18

No More Entertainment #1 - False Representation.



10 Bands With Names That Are Significantly Better Than Their Music.

Be it due to misdirected irony, poor planning, or merely a grossly incorrect estimation as to the overall quality of their music, the following 10 bands have hereby been accused of False Representation:

The Get Up Kids
Atari Teenage Riot
Bear Vs. Shark
Cradle Of Filth
Crystal Castles
Drag The River
Vampire Weekend
!!!
The Dandy Warhols
The Arctic Monkeys

10 Bands With Names That Are Exactly As Awesome As Their Music.

Be it due to an overabundance of musical genius, too much (or not nearly enough) time on their hands to think of a name, or simply more smartass snobbery than the average hipster, the following 10 bands got it right, in every possible way:

The Zombies
Zoinks!
Ultimate Fakebook
Teenage Fanclub
Smoking Popes
The Mr. T Experience
Interpol
Electric Light Orchestra
The Dead Milkmen
Brainiac

10 Bands With Names That Sound Exactly Like The Music They Play.

Be it due to the Gods and Goddesses of perfectly-named bands, without so much as a hint of misrepresentation and an acute knowledge of their individual sound, the following 10 bands sound precisely as they have been marketed (for better or for worse):

Mr. Bungle
The Muffs
Pansy Division
The Sundays
The Go! Team
DragonForce
Explosions In The Sky
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
Man…Or Astro-Man?
The Minibosses

Add your selections in the comments section, start the conversation and enjoy your day.

Comments:
Shitty band name, awesome music: Blink-182
 
Bear Vs. Shark?
...Advantage clearly goes strait to the shark.
 
CARGIRL - Yeah, they really ushered in an entire genre of bands with 'Word + Number' names.

CAVEMAN - You'd think, but what if they were on land? Or in the mountains?
 
I think it depends if it were a regular bear and shark, or a Darma bear and shark. Then all bets are off.
 
My vote for crappiest band with an interesting name: Suburban Kids with Biblical Names. (I had high hopes. I was deceived. They're from Sweden, though, so I suppose I might be able to give them a pass...)

Two votes for great bands with awesome names:
The Tragically Hip (My favorite Canadian bar band. Ever. I.Love.Them.)

The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers
 
...and Blink 182 is back!

We've been over this before, CDP, but you really have to give their last album a chance...
 
My first band had a great name that suited us well, and then every band after that was a chore to christen and usually turned out poorly when we did. I'm hoping that this new band will be a return to form. So far, I'm feeling good about our choice, but time, as always will tell.

Anyway, my votes:
Cat 1 - Fall Out Boy
Cat 2 - The Kills
Cat 3 - Mum
 
Rage Against the Machine
 
Why isn't Medicre at Best on the list of bands with names that sound like the music they play?
 
HATHERY - Dharma Bear vs. Dharma Shark is the coolest band name I have ever heard. Sounds like something I'd listen to, too.

MAUS - Nice additions. SKwBN is indeed a great name.

MOE - Aw hell, I'm glad that Blink 182 is back together. I watched a block of their videos on Fuse last night, and it brought back good memories.

EMILY - I had Fall Out Boy on my long list, but baleeted it at the last minute.

MOE AGAIN - Which category?

RJ - I was thinking about adding it as a goof, but I figured nobody would know what I was talking about.
 
DELTAEDED!
 
Who are those goofy people in the picture? They look silly.

Cat. 1- Guttermouth

Cat. 3- The Softies

Cat. 2 & 3- Star F**king Hipsters (No one with the F-word in their band name will ever succeed. That's just the way it is. But I enjoyed seeing them live so I guess they are just sabotaging themselves w/ the name. However, their music sounds like their name so they are candidates for both categories.)
 
Is anyone else having a comments issue where when they first try to post a comment it says "Your request cannot be processed", but then if you try again it works just fine? That has happened to me every single time I've tried to comment. Bogus, I say!
 
HATHERY - The reason that your comment doesn't go through the first time around is because you're not properly logged in. If you're already logged in, it should work the first time around. Let me know if the troubles continue.

I liked the Star F**king Hipsters because they sounded just like Leftover Crack (another Category 2 nominee), only with an extremely spooky chick on second vocals.

I'll never forget when we saw Guttermouth at the Concert Cafe, and when Jim ran on stage, he did this crowd-surf/walk on water thing where he pretty much stepped on everyone's head and ran through the audience.
 
Rage - Sounds exactly like they play...and damn awesome, I might add...
 
MOE - They were also on my shortlist. Against All Authority, too.
 
Maus - I frickin' love the Hip, but aside from my sister no one I know shares this opinion. They're all crazy!

My suggestions:
Cat 1 - Interpol

Cat 2 - The Clash

Cat 3 - Manic Street Preachers, Th' Legendary Shack Shakers, The Aggrolites, The Libertines, New Bomb Turks

I disagree VEHEMENTLY that Drag the River's name is somehow better than the music, because there is nothing better than their music.

I was on the fence with the Star F*cking Hipsters, precisely because they sounded like Leftover Crack and I never really got into them. Sturgeon always struck me as the kind of guy that I kind of agree with in principle but think is a giant asshole. And that chick was real spooky.
 
WALLROCK - Here's my problem with Leftover Crack, and subsequently my problem with the overall mindset of hardcore Punk Rock. The dude is talking about unity and tolerance, and in the very next breath he's screaming about murdering police officers. Ridiculous.

When I think Drag The River, I think of a band like At The Drive-In. A band that's dangerous. A band that will destroy you. In reality, Drag The River is just some middle-of-the-road alt-country from brilliant guys that should know better. Totally my opinion, of course; I think that Chad and Jon are cool people and can make whatever music they so choose, but 'Float Slowly Down The River' would have been a more fitting name.

You're probably right about Interpol, though.
 
I browsed through my iTunes but couldn't think of anything good besides Monkey Steals the Peach. They did a song for Guitar Hero.
 
Cat 1 - The Arcade Fire
Cat 2 - VHS or Beta
Cat 3 - ABBA
 
ABBA? Whaaa???
 
the state of michigan looks like a bear wrestling a shark...
 
Well, I suppose if you were coming at Drag the River looking for ALL and Armchair Martian, maybe then I can see your point. But I only came across them well into my alt-country immersion, and in my opinion Chad and Jon are putting out some of the best stuff out there. Now I don't exactly know why, but a few years ago I just got into that whole style pretty hard. Can't explain it, didn't really like it before, but now it just sounds great to me. Must be something to do with getting older, rounding the 25 mark.

Interpol I wanted to like so much. I heard "Slow Hands" and I thought they were going to be amazing (plus an awesome name too). But after getting Antics I felt kind of disappointed. They never became the band that I thought they would be. I still like them enough, but: not as awesome as the name.
 
CDP- True, but I doubt the cold and calculating shark would give up such a game changer as the ocean.
 
I have to very much disagree on a couple of these. Atari Teenage Riot and Cradle of Filth are both excellent. Just because they're not whining little pop punk bitches don't mean there bad.
 
IKILLTOFU - Totally. I never made the connection.

WALLROCK - Totally understood. I'm unnecessarily hard on those guys sometimes. And right on concerning Interpol. I'll listen to them from time to time, but they seem to be missing one intangible that would improve them exponentially.

CAVEMAN - Indeed. The ocean is the Shark's home turf.

PSILOX - When I heard about Cradle Of Filth, I was excited. I thought I was going to be listening to the blackest, most theatrical and evil band in the World. Instead, I heard the weakest, unintentionally hilarious and most embarrassing metal I think I've ever heard in my life (I have all of their major albums, BTW). To me, they are the equivalent of laughing your ass off at a horror movie that's trying too hard to take themselves seriously.

And as far as ATR goes (and I also have two of their major studio albums), they are, to me, significantly more whiny than even the most guilty of early 2000's Pop Punk. Instead of singing about girls that won't screw them, they honestly thought that their Speed Techno-meets Digital Hardcore was going to start a revolution. Oh, and it doesn't hold up at all in the face of current production technology, so the whole thing sounds dated as all get out.

To be fair, I'll still listen to ATR from time to time, but Cradle Of Filth has been given too many chances from me. I've tried, dude; I've really tried.
 
Moe--just wanted to let you know that your Arcade Fire comment did not go unnoticed :)
 
CDP - It was a poorly played joke. I need to step up my efforts.

Hathery - Thank you, ma'am.
 
CDP - I so hear you on ATR. I really thought I was going to like them after the first few listens, but then it got real old real fast. Sigh.

Which reminds me of another band, but one with a name that well represents their music: Mindless Self Indulgence.
 
I suspect that some bands think of the name first and then build a band around it regardless of how the sound suits the name. I'm looking at you Eagles of Death Metal (who I like despite the name).

We have all played the "What would you name your band" game and we all can think of awesome names but I agree with you that really good band names need to fit the sound. Some more examples of the name suggesting awesome and the band delivering on that promise: The 13th Floor Elevators, The Compulsive Gamblers, The Shocking Blue, ABBA (really) and The Volcano Suns.
 
I thought that I would like ATR as well, but aside from an isolated song or two I was disappointed. I can't say that I even have an interest in listening to the two albums that I have. I just recently deleted them from my iPod actually, though I haven't gone so far as to drop them from my external - I'd have to truly hate them to do that.
 
I went to a concert back in '97 that was headlined by Rage Against the Machine and Wu-Tang Clan. I went as a Wu-Tang fan and left as a RATM die-hard (and never bought another Wu Tang album). Funny thing is, Atari Teenage Riot was the opening act and they were God awful. Perhaps it was because I'd never heard of them and, quite frankly, the crowd wasn't the target market, but damn did they suck.
 

Post a Comment

<< Home