Tuesday, March 10

No More Entertainment #3 - Local News Is Awesome.

My Top 5 Local News Bloopers (On YouTube).

It's hard to produce a local news broadcast. You're live each and every day, everyone is underpaid and underappreciated, and even the most banal of stories must be reported like the Apocalypse is upon us. Taking that all into consideration, it comes as no surprise that local news broadcasts are a veritable goldmine for some of the pants-peeingest live television moments in history, and thanks to YouTube, we have been able to virtually immortalize this moments for lifetimes to come. Here are just a handful of my personal favorites.

Honorable Mention - 'Pretty Much Everywhere, It's Gonna Be Hot.'

We can't really chalk this Haitian news segment up as a 'blooper,' as it honestly looks like this sort of thing goes on every day at that particular television station. This clip has sort of a hypnotizing effect on me; the more I watch it, the funnier it gets in completely different ways.

Honorable Mention - 'Chip Maxham, Child Molester.'

What I admire most about this blooper is the subtlety. In fact, I'd venture that about 90% of those watching the live broadcast had no idea that anything was out of the ordinary at the time. The humor lies in the realization.

#5 - 'A Medical Miracle.'

more movies at www.miloop.com

This clip has the Holy Trinity of what makes a local news blooper work. It has a somewhat tragic or uplifting story, a major technical glitch of some sort, and a head anchor that can maintain composure for all of a tenth of a second. You really couldn't ask for a more perfect production error considering the story, and the look that the anchor gives the camera when they cut back to him (before he loses it) is about as good as it gets.

#4 - 'Killer Lizard Jumps News Man.'

This reporter is clearly afraid of reptiles, so he's already significantly outside of his comfort zone when asked to handle a massive snake. When a nearby lizard leaps onto his jacket, dude loses it in the most embarrassing way possible. What absolutely kills me in this clip is not just the fact that reporter is about as frightened as a human being can be while still remaining conscious, but that he almost instantly turns from 'credible newsman' to 'ghetto' in about three seconds.

#3 - 'Weather Is Funny.'

Laughter is contagious. Funny laughter is unbelievably contagious. And funny, uncontrollable laughter coming from an elderly man on live TV attempting to stumble through the weather? Well, that's about as funny as you'd imagine it being. I swear to you, I've watched this clip almost 100 times, and I tear up on every single viewing. This will make any bad day a little sunnier.

#2 - 'Always A Professional, No Matter What.'

The reason I like this clip is its originality. Anchors cracking up or accidentally swearing seemingly happen all the time on live TV, but this instance is perfectly special. This guy apparently skips ahead in reading the teleprompter, inexplicably melding together his announcement of the co-anchor getting the night off with the gruesome top story. Once you piece that together, the straight-forward delivery almost seems psychotic in nature.

#1 - 'Weatherman Hit By Lightning.'

I break out laughing just thinking about this clip. The footage on YouTube is from one of those 'Most Outrageous Moments' shows, so there's a faint laugh track in the background, but it won't hinder the pure, unbridled happiness you'll feel upon watching. Maybe one of the funniest things I've ever seen, ever, on the Internet.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

This clip from The Soup gets me going every time. Again, I laugh just thinking about this clip.
Oh, The Soup. The only thing I can ever watch on E! without wanting to gouge my eyeballs out with a souvenir spoon from Disney World.
I just watched "Lightning Woman". There's no possible way the Top Four are better than that.
Just finished the rest. I enjoyed Ghetto Lizard just as much, if not more, than Lightning Woman.

I also enjoyed Child Molester and Dan Was Burned Alive.
I like he "Black an Gus" clip that isn't up there.
MOE - 'Lightning Woman' is a thing of beauty. The look of astonishment on the anchorman's face is fantastic.

'Ghetto Lizard' is great because the guy is so scared he almost passes out. He was like, little kid-scared.

What about the laughing weatherman? It's infectious!

HATHERY - That one was pretty funny, but I think I remember having a hard time tracking it down on YouTube.
All of those clips brought tears to my eyes from laughing so hard!!!
I'd have liked to contagious laughter had I known what in the Hell started the whole thing. Instead, I just feel left out of the joke. Were they laughing at me?

I feel like I'm in 7th grade, again.
I enjoyed the Haitian weather report most of all, partly because I watched it over and over. It's got layers.
SHERRY - That's what I'm talking about.

MOE - It helps that the weatherman is a funny-looking guy. Maybe even an alcoholic.

WALLROCK - It absolutely does. There's like, six jokes in that four-second clip.
'Ghetto Lizard' reminds me of the video of the weatherman freaking out over a cockraoch in the studio. That one makes me laugh every time. And the woman who does a live report from an animal shelter and has the misfortune of deciding to hold an unholdable cat. I love that it ends in tears.
Anything with animals is usually great, because they don't care that you're live.

There's a classic clip of a police officer doing one of those cat adoption pieces on a news program, where the cat just loses his mind and wraps himself around the dudes leg, eventually tearing into his leg and sinking a claw into his testicles. But because they guy got hurt and the cat is clearly evil, you're more likely to see it on an 'Animal Attack' show than a 'Funny Animals' one.
These are on purpose (which I can't decide if it makes them more or less hilarious), but I've always enjoyed Dance Party Friday's over at Local 12 News. Here's one recent example.
That animal shelter adoption video of the cat attacking the polic officer is just classic. See, I always think to myself that those funniest videos programs are really lacking in the 'rampaging, mauling beasts' clips. The perfect formula for those shows is kid clip, groin injury, stupid pet trick, kid clip, redneck falling off of/breaking something, animal attack.
The "Lizard Guy" clip is from my local (DFW) NBC affiliate - and right after it happened the guy was mocked endlessly on radio stations throughout the market.

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