Wednesday, August 5

The Ball Is In Your Court, Underneath Your Clothes.

Dear Shakira,

Look, let’s just cut to the chase here.

I can feel the primal attraction between us, and I know you can feel it too. So why don’t we cut the tension and just get it over with already. You know we’ll both feel a lot better once we’ve gotten it out of the way. I’ll leave the patio door unlocked; you’ll know what to do.


(LISTEN UP! The Communist Dance Party is inching ever closer to Post #1000! As part of the festivities, the CDP will devote the entire week of August 17-21 to answering any and all questions you may have about the Little Blog That Could. So think of something you've always wanted to ask about Ryan J. Zeinert or, post or send it to, and wait until the week of August 17 for the answer. You can stay anonymous and can ask as many questions as you want. Thanks in advance!)

Dude, take a number - the line is to the left.
Isn't she married to like a prince or something?
B-but it's different! She's been sending me telepathic messages! We have a future together; you'll see.

Yeah, she's married to the King of Earth or Jesus or something like that; like I couldn't kick his ass.

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