Monday, August 3

I'm A Millionaire, And All I Had To Do Was Almost Die!



Each day when I get home from work and watch Jeopardy, I see the same enticing commercials for personal injury lawyers. Ad after ad, I see actor-portrayed testimonials from people that were awarded anywhere from $100,000 to 10 million dollars to settle their personal injury claims.

This is the real deal; these sorts of things happen every day. My issue lies with the actors, and the idea that we’re to believe these people are now living the high life since they contacted the right attorney and made a huge payday. It’s always some smug, grinning prick standing in front of a Ferrari waving a handful of cash like it’s a commercial for a Get Rich Quick scheme. Like we’re somehow supposed to be jealous that we haven’t had the good fortune to paralyze ourselves on the slick floor of a McDonalds bathroom.

I’ve got news for you. If we were to see the actual person that was awarded 10 million dollars in a personal injury lawsuit, none of us would trade places with them. You don’t get a court to award you eight figures unless there are multiple corpses or permanent retardation involved. End of story.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.


(LISTEN UP! The Communist Dance Party is inching ever closer to Post #1000! As part of the festivities, the CDP will devote the entire week of August 17-21 to answering any and all questions you may have about the Little Blog That Could. So think of something you've always wanted to ask about Ryan J. Zeinert or theCDP.net, post or send it to communistdance@yahoo.com, and wait until the week of August 17 for the answer. You can stay anonymous and can ask as many questions as you want. Thanks in advance!)

Comments:
My favorite one is where the guy is like "the insurance company didn't want to pay me for my motorcycle accident because I wasn't wearing a helmet." Um, am I supposed to feel BAD for you? The fact that you still have a head is really payment enough.
 

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