Friday, March 13

No More Entertainment #4 - Top IMDB Top Films.



My 30 Favorite Films In The IMDB Top 250:

30. City Lights (1931)
29. The Princess Bride (1987)
28. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
27. Toy Story (1995)
26. Alien (1979)

25. American Beauty (1999)
24. Back to the Future (1985)
23. Se7en (1995)/Fight Club (1999)
22. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
21. Nosferatu (1922)

20. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
19. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
18. No Country for Old Men (2007)
17. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
16. Memento (2000)/The Dark Knight (2008)

15. The Shining (1980)/2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)/A Clockwork Orange (1971)
14. King Kong (1933)
13. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
12. The Deer Hunter (1978)
11. The Exorcist (1973)

10. Schindler's List (1993)
9. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
8. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
7. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
6. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

5. Dr. Strangelove (1964)
4. Léon (1994)
3. Rear Window (1954)
2. Fargo (1996)
1. Pulp Fiction (1994)

5 Films In The IMDB Top 250 That I Should Be Shot In The Face For Not Yet Seeing:

1. Citizen Kane (own it, never watched it)
2. Casablanca (own it, never watched it)
3. The Godfather (only watched edited TV version)
4. The Godfather: Part II (only watched edited TV version)
5. Apocalypse Now (never watched it)

Give us your Top 10 in the comments section, bitch at me about my tastes and enjoy your weekend.

Tuesday, March 10

No More Entertainment #3 - Local News Is Awesome.



My Top 5 Local News Bloopers (On YouTube).

It's hard to produce a local news broadcast. You're live each and every day, everyone is underpaid and underappreciated, and even the most banal of stories must be reported like the Apocalypse is upon us. Taking that all into consideration, it comes as no surprise that local news broadcasts are a veritable goldmine for some of the pants-peeingest live television moments in history, and thanks to YouTube, we have been able to virtually immortalize this moments for lifetimes to come. Here are just a handful of my personal favorites.

Honorable Mention - 'Pretty Much Everywhere, It's Gonna Be Hot.'



We can't really chalk this Haitian news segment up as a 'blooper,' as it honestly looks like this sort of thing goes on every day at that particular television station. This clip has sort of a hypnotizing effect on me; the more I watch it, the funnier it gets in completely different ways.

Honorable Mention - 'Chip Maxham, Child Molester.'



What I admire most about this blooper is the subtlety. In fact, I'd venture that about 90% of those watching the live broadcast had no idea that anything was out of the ordinary at the time. The humor lies in the realization.

#5 - 'A Medical Miracle.'


more movies at www.miloop.com

This clip has the Holy Trinity of what makes a local news blooper work. It has a somewhat tragic or uplifting story, a major technical glitch of some sort, and a head anchor that can maintain composure for all of a tenth of a second. You really couldn't ask for a more perfect production error considering the story, and the look that the anchor gives the camera when they cut back to him (before he loses it) is about as good as it gets.

#4 - 'Killer Lizard Jumps News Man.'



This reporter is clearly afraid of reptiles, so he's already significantly outside of his comfort zone when asked to handle a massive snake. When a nearby lizard leaps onto his jacket, dude loses it in the most embarrassing way possible. What absolutely kills me in this clip is not just the fact that reporter is about as frightened as a human being can be while still remaining conscious, but that he almost instantly turns from 'credible newsman' to 'ghetto' in about three seconds.

#3 - 'Weather Is Funny.'



Laughter is contagious. Funny laughter is unbelievably contagious. And funny, uncontrollable laughter coming from an elderly man on live TV attempting to stumble through the weather? Well, that's about as funny as you'd imagine it being. I swear to you, I've watched this clip almost 100 times, and I tear up on every single viewing. This will make any bad day a little sunnier.

#2 - 'Always A Professional, No Matter What.'



The reason I like this clip is its originality. Anchors cracking up or accidentally swearing seemingly happen all the time on live TV, but this instance is perfectly special. This guy apparently skips ahead in reading the teleprompter, inexplicably melding together his announcement of the co-anchor getting the night off with the gruesome top story. Once you piece that together, the straight-forward delivery almost seems psychotic in nature.

#1 - 'Weatherman Hit By Lightning.'



I break out laughing just thinking about this clip. The footage on YouTube is from one of those 'Most Outrageous Moments' shows, so there's a faint laugh track in the background, but it won't hinder the pure, unbridled happiness you'll feel upon watching. Maybe one of the funniest things I've ever seen, ever, on the Internet.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Monday, March 9

The CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade 5 Drawing.



It's go time, kids!

After extensive laboring, uploading e-mail addresses and building one of those spinny-wheels with the Bingo balls in them, I have come up with the 18 pairings for the CDP Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade 5. Everyone who signed up has someone that they will create a mix-tape for, and in tune, they have someone who will make one for them.

The pairings are as follows. The drawing was random; a co-worker picked a number, and I eliminated the names, 'MASH'-style. I don't think kids still play 'MASH,' but that's neither here nor there:

1. THE CDP will be creating a Mix for FIONA.
2. HATHERY will be creating a Mix for DOUG.
3. CARGIRL will be creating a Mix for WIGGLYCITO.
4. SMEDLEY will be creating a Mix for CARGIRL.
5. CARROT DUFF will be creating a Mix for EMILY.
6. WIGGLYCITO will be creating a Mix for REGAN.
7. BENJAMIN will be creating a Mix for HEATHER.
8. SHERRY will be creating a Mix for CARROT DUFF.
9. EMILY will be creating a Mix for JT.
10. MIKE HOSS will be creating a Mix for HATHERY.
11. REGAN will be creating a Mix for BENJAMIN.
12. FIONA will be creating a Mix for SMEDLEY.
13. CAITLIN will be creating a Mix for THE CDP.
14. JT will be creating a Mix for CAITLIN.
15. DOUG will be creating a Mix for SHERRY.
16. HEATHER will be creating a Mix for MIKE HOSS.
17. TAMI will be creating a Mix for BRIAN.
18. BRIAN will be creating a Mix for TAMI.

Wonderful. Here's what we all do next:

1. I will be sending e-mails out to everyone over the next several hours (give me at least until around the end of the work day to finish), reminding them who's creating a Mix-Tape for whom, and what that person's e-mail address is. For example, your e-mail from me will look a lot like this:

"Benjamin, the CDP is making a Mix-Tape for you. His e-mail address is communistdance@yahoo.com. Please contact him and give him your mailing address."

2. It will then be up to the future recipient of the Mix-Tape to contact the creator and give them their physical mailing address. For example:

"Hey CDP, it's Benjamin. I'm looking forward to your mix-tape; my address is blah-bloo-blee."

3. One you get the mailing address of the person you're sending a Mix-Tape to, MAKE IT AND SEND IT! Be creative; I've seen amazing artwork, brilliant track selections and overall awesome efforts by everyone every time, so I'm expecting nothing less this time around, as well. Remember that the theme of the Trade is 'Top 10 Of Anything,' so create your best Top 10 (or 20, or 100) and get to work!

Everyone has a buddy; it would really suck if someone gets left out because you suddenly decided to go deadbeat on them. The deadline is to have ALL MIX-TAPES MAILED OUT BY MONDAY, MARCH 23. Now that you know who you're making a mix for, you should have plenty of time to whip it up and get it mailed out within two full weeks. If someone gets left out, I'll feel personally responsible, so please don't make an ass out of me, or I'll publicly ostracize you here on the CDP. I've seen too many people create amazing pieces of art and get nothing in return, so...don't do that, please.

4. If you're having a problem contacting anyone, an e-mail address is dead or anything else goes wrong, feel free to contact immediately me and I'll sort it out. I'm pretty neat like that. Remember though that people are busy, so give them a day or two to answer you back, but let me know if it's taking a ludicrous amount of time.

Of course, once you receive your Mix-Tape, sound off in the comments section so we all know the status of everyone's packages. Half the fun is sharing the experience with everyone involved.

5. I always mention this (and I'll mention it again in your e-mail), but if you're looking for an easy way to thank me for inventing something as uniting and awesome as the Worldwide Mix-Tape Trade, I would love a copy of your mix. My mailing address is as follows:

theCDP
PO Box 865
Sun Prairie, WI
53590

Any mixes that make it to Headquarters by the end of March will be personally spotlighted and reviewed by me on the CDP in April. Also in April, I'll be drawing a random name from the list of Mix-Tape Trade participants to win a FREE CDP MIX-TAPE SHIRT!

You should be receiving your instructional e-mails by the end of the day today (Monday). So get out there, create a rad Mix-Tape and send it off to your partner before Monday, March 23rd!