Wednesday, January 6

Traffic Light Eyes.



Over the holidays, I developed an infection in a semi-impacted Wisdom Tooth. I'll spare you the details, but it got crimson, tender, and every time I bit down on something I'd cringe so hard that I'd pee a little. I could no longer chew without crying, so from December 23-26, I consisted on a diet of Rum and white wine, which deviated slightly from my 2008 Christmas diet of Whiskey and cheese.

Point being, I have three Wisdom Teeth, and they all need to go immediately.

No problem, I figure. In fact, when I was putting together my 'Must Do In 2010' list, 'Remove Wisdom Teeth' was near the top, wedged between 'Write Another Book' and 'Complete New Super Mario Bros. Wii.' Sure, I wanted to extract them on my own free will, instead of a dire and painful situation, but at least this way will prevent me from backing out at the last second, as is my custom.

So, I'm going in on Friday morning, they're drugging me up and and yanking these bastards out. I've already cleared my weekend and stocked up on Snack-Pak pudding and Mott's applesauce. I think I've prepared myself to know what to expect, and I've already arranged for the Missus to cart my groggy ass back home when it's all over.

Assuming that my condition allows it, I want to document this via CDP and Twitter as soon as I come out of the anesthesia, so please pay attention to my feed come Friday morning and throughout the weekend. Follow me on Twitter, or just follow along in the sidebar on your left. I'll be here/there.

I'm ready to go, or at least I think I am. Am I missing anything?

Comments:
My wisdom teeth left me at age 18. Two of them were growing SIDEWAYS. Since I had 4 bicuspids removed in order to get braces (I had the infamous 'bi-lateral crossbite' and had to have my upper jaw widened too) I have just 24 teeth.

I'm a freak.

PS - Been listening to sunshine pop, doom metal, Sloan, Morrissey and Grand Funk Railroad.
 
My wisdom teeth left me at age 30. I was too chicken to get it done before. Mostly because I saw what happened to my two brothers. One brother puffed up like a chimpmuck for a week and another brother that lost feeling just under and to the right of his mouth. He now has a little feeling back, 15 years later.

Oh, wait, I'm not helping.

I had no problems. I was back to work on Monday. They gave me good drugs and I even had some ice cream the next day. No puffiness either.
 
My wisdom teeth left me at age 21. I went in a black man and came out a white man. Shit happens.
 
It hurt like the dickens for awhile, but I otherwise didn't have any trouble. Fortunately my wisdom teeth were actually "erupted" (I think that's what they call it, and if not, they should) and so easier to remove.

Fun story: My father not only still has all 4 wisdom teeth, but another set beyond that. None ever had to be removed because apparently dad is the last of the Neanderthals.
 
My wisdom teeth left me at age 22. It wasn't bad. They knocked me out completely and when I woke up I was haaaapppy. I actually got lost in the dentist's office on my way out. I was also completely convinced that the dentist was hitting on me. I left an incomprehensibly sappy voicemail for my husband (whom I had just started dating) and then passed out. I had some puffiness and some soreness, but nothing too terrible. I ended up with a job interview while I was still puffy and a little bruised, though, so I had to explain that away so they wouldn't think I'd been in a bar fight.
 
My wisdom teeth were pulled the summer after I graduated high school. The operation went fine and I didn't really experience much pain or swelling. In fact, I hadn't really had cause to use all of the prescription ibuprofen or Oxycontin I was given. I did keep the pills, and the following February I came down with a nasty cold while living in the dorms at UW. I'd gone with my roommate to see the Mel Gibson movie Payback and when we returned I felt so bad I took a double shot of Nyquil and what I thought were two ibuprofens. Turns out they were the Oxy, and instead of falling asleep into a Nyquil coma like I'd planned I grew increasingly paranoid and was convinced that people were trying to get into my fourth-floor room through the window. When my roommate left to take a shower I ran out of room, determined to escape. I wandered around campus smoking Old Glory's with a plastic holder, Hunter S. Thompson-style, for the better part of two and a half hours. My recollection of the night is spotty, but I do know I woke up on the North steps of Engineering Hall at quarter to three in the morning with a bag of doughnuts from Greenbush, a plastic cupholder, a broken piece of scientific equipment, and apartment rental guide, and an assortment of different fliers and advertisements I'd tucked into the sleeves of my jacket. Moral of the story: don't mix Nyquil with Oxycontin, as you'll never watch a Mel Gibson movie the same afterward.
 
SMED - I don't know what's weirder, that you have 24 teeth, or what you've been listening to today.

HOSS - Thanks, man; looking forward to just getting it over with already.

MOE - Damn. If I go in a white man, how will I come out?

EMILY - I figured you had a solid Neanderthal bloodline. I think you get tax breaks or something.

ALIAS 'BERRY BEAR' - This is the story I hope to share. Thanks.

WALLROCK - Christ; do you have a blog? You should be sharing these stories more often. Let me know; I'll link you. You're good people.
 
When I was a senior in high school, I was having 9 teeth pulled out, so the doctor said, "Hey, why not yank out those wisdom teeth while we are at it." So, I had 13 teeth pulled out right before Christmas...I ate a lot of mashed potatoes and vicadin that holiday.
 
I get the feeling that I somehow remember that.
 
I got all 4 completely-impacted wisdom teeth removed at the age of 14 or 15.

Oh, and did anyone else notice that x-ray has a tongue stud? :)
 

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