Friday, September 17

White Collar Concussion.


This is what it looks like when you get punched in the mouth.

More specifically, this is what it looks like when you get hit in the mouth with a steel rod.

While working in the mailroom this week, I attempted to lift an industrial dolly straight up into the air in an attempt to move it. This dolly weighed at least 80 pounds, and could transport a car if it had to. To make a dumb mistake even dumber, I tried to do this while nursing a current back injury. I lifted with all my might, the steel handles detached themselves from the dolly, and nailed me in the face.

I stumbled back a few steps, almost going unconscious. When I was younger, I received a concussion at the hands of an aluminum baseball bat and a fat former friend. This felt exactly the same way. Shaking off the cobwebs and feeling the blood start to pour out of my swollen mouth, I made a beeline for the bathroom.

I thought I was going to need stitches. There was a thick gash from where my lips met my teeth. Had I been hit any higher, I would have lost a few of them. I rinsed and spit blood out of my mouth for at least 20 minutes in an attempt to ward off infection and swallowing all of it. Who says you can't get hurt in a white-collar job? Just because I work in "Management Services" doesn't mean I can't make a dumb-ass mistake and knock myself out every once in a while!

Sweet merciful crap, did that hurt like Hell. And for the sake of being a pansy, this picture was taken a full 12 HOURS after the incident. The swelling had gone down considerably, and I stopped crying long enough for the missus to snap a photo. It looked much worse.

I have a mouth full of scars from another earlier injury involving a microphone and my braces. I got hit in the mouth with the microphone I was using, and the braces dug themselves into my lips. I can still feel the imprint of the brackets when I run my tongue along the bottom of my mouth.

What have we learned about me? I'm clumsy, and I get hit in the head a lot.

Now you know.

I apologize to the world for ever having taken that picture.
Yeah, at the very least I made it a lot smaller. Perhaps I should have blurred it or something.

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