Friday, October 1

Electile Dysfunction.

I don't care what you think.

I don't care what your beliefs are, and I don't care who your voting for. One thing is abundantly clear today.

John Kerry sure kicked the President's ass in the debate last night.

There's no mistaking it. Bush was caught flat-footed 10 minutes in. Kerry stood firm and refused to fold, and George had nothing left but catch-phrases and weak defense. If you're a Democrat or anyone who wants Bush gone, last night couldn't have gone any better had Kerry shot him dead right there behind the podium. I like John Kerry to a certain extent, but that man really surprised me last night. I was very impressed and much more optimistic. I'm looking forward to the remaining debates and the Vice-Presidential debates as well. If you haven't registered to vote, your time is running out. Do so, and you'll change the world. I can't begin to tell you how happy I was with the debate last night. Will they have any impact on the outcome? We'll see, but it sure as hell can't hurt.

This weekend, I'll be straightening up the new apartment and picking up a new car for Celia. My sister decided to sell her 2000 Taurus to the missus for a dirt-cheap rate. We couldn't say no, considering Celia's current car is eligible for collector plates in 2 years. Other than that, we're going to do our best to relax and enjoy a weekend that couldn't have come at a better time.

I just crapped my pants.

Tuesday, September 28

New Wave Mustache.

As much as Celia insists it would be horrifying, I can't help but wonder if I could pull off a nice thick 'stache. Sure, I would have to quite literally go years without shaving, but I think it could really send my look in a new direction. Straight to the top of the corporate ladder! Finally get the respect I always thought I deserved! More attention from the opposite sex! More attention from the same sex! All because I took a chance, and started grooming a small portion of my upper lip. It's amazing what a tiny change can do to your appearance.

God Bless October. Hyper-sensitive parents, making their Ritalin-ed out kids Trick-or-Treat at 2 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. More political ads than you could ever imagine. The Packers with a losing record. No matter what though, I refuse to let anything ruin my favorite month of the year. Do whatever you can to enjoy October. Unplug your television if you must. Sleep with the windows open, and cover yourself with 10 blankets. Make a point to pet at least 20 different cats a day. I don't care what you do, just have a good time doing it. I plan on working hard for a couple weeks, settling in to the new apartment and whatnot, and finally getting around to another long-term writing project. At first I was thinking about another screenplay, but I really want to try to get something published. I have better odds of selling a book than a screenplay. I also have better odds of being kicked in the right nut by a Saber-Toothed Tiger than getting anything published at all. I must try, though.

Today, I made a list of the "Least Popular Halloween Costumes" for a co-worker who was making a "Halloween" display board outside of our office. Here's a sample:

Eli Whitney
Zombie Eli Whitney
Martin Van Buren
Zombie Martin Van Buren
Zagnut Bar
Zombie Riboflavin

While I knew that this list wouldn't be used in the display, I made it anyways because I like to amuse myself.

While I don't like to talk about work very much anymore, I felt the need to share something with you. Tomorrow I start training for a Program Assistant 3 position that's going to be empty in a week. They want me to do the job while they find someone to do it full time. My job description gives them the right to make me do pretty much whatever they want me to, for as long as they want me to. Allow me to simplify this for you further:

1. I make X amount of money as a Program Assistant 1.
2. I will be doing the job of a Program Assistant 3, who makes Y dollars more than me.
3. I will continue to make X amount of money indefinitely.

By subtracting the amount of money I should be making (Y) from the amount that I will be making (X), you will find the exact amount by which I'm being played like a little bitch.

The idea is that I will try for the job and be promoted, but there are a dozen more qualified people working with me who will snatch this job up the first chance they get. This means that I'm basically keeping the seat warm for the next person to take my job and make more money than me. There's not a damn thing I can do about it, but hope to Jesus that they want to keep me in that position, which they certainly will not. I'm currently taking the necessary steps for me to be able to be promoted, should they think that highly of me. Honestly though, I'm pretty sure I should just get nice and comfortable here in the mailroom.

(As a side note, I really do enjoy my job, and feel very fortunate for the opportunity to work here. I'm also taking proper legal action with my Communist Dance Party staff of lawyers to not get fired because of this page. Enough talk about work.)

It was 36 degrees this morning when I went outside. I could see my breath, and thought that there was frost on my windshield. It's been crisp and beautiful for a week now, and it will stay that way for at least another week. You can be sure that I'm taking a long walk tonight in Sun Prairie. Make the most of this month, because you're going to miss it when it's gone.