Friday, October 8

Haiku Friday.

Work week is over
Punch out to your comfy home
Watch television.

God bless the weekend
Ending five days of sadness
Two days to sleep late.

Friday night debate
Decides the Free World Leader
Don't forget to vote.

Tickets for Green Day
Reaching at least thirty bucks
I'm not a Nimrod.

British citizen
Three hostages beheaded
Who do you trust now?

Five syllable line
Now seven syllable line
Five syllable line.

Note the formatting
Italics make it look like
I have things to say.

Blabba-blabba doo
Egotistical drivel
Stop the reading now.

(Editor's note: Ryan hasn't slept in 4 days, and recently drank a quart of suntan lotion. He should be back to his normal self in a few weeks. On Saturday morning, he plans to go to UW-Madison to take an exam so he can get promoted at work. On Sunday, he plans on watching Baseball and finally straightening out his apartment. On Monday, he plans on leaving work early to sit at Lambeau Field in the pouring rain, watching the Packers lose again. On Tuesday, he plans on calling in sick. Here's to a great weekend.)

Monday, October 4


Guess who's going to see Michael Moore?

I am! On Saturday, October 23, me and the Missus (along with Ben and Sherry, who graciously waited in line to get tickets for us) are going up to Green Bay to check him out at the Weidner Center. This is all part of his "Slacker Uprising Tour", in which he's doing everything he can to get first-time voters to...well, vote. He's also coming to Madison, which is my neck of the woods, but tickets may be harder to come by here. If I can go to both, I certainly will.

FAHRENHEIT 9/11 IS IN STORES TOMORROW! GO BUY YOUR COPY! Even if you don't buy a copy, I'll burn one for you. Just do what you can to see this Documentary before November 2.

Despite a 1-3 record, and Brett Favre suffering a concussion, I'm still looking forward to heading out to Lambeau Field next Monday for the game against the Titans. This is a huge game for the Packers, and my first live Monday-nighter. I'll give you a full review next week, and I don't really care if you want to hear about it or not.

A couple years ago, I gave up caffeine for good. I was a hopeless addict, swilling Mountain Dew by the 12-pak, jittering for more. In an ongoing effort to cleanse myself of everything that makes me a jackass to be around, I swore the stuff off to just to see if I could. Turns out I could, but it was absolutely no fun at all. If anyone tells you that caffeine isn't an addictive drug, I'd be more than happy to tell them about the sleepless nights spent sweating on my basement floor, joints aching, shivering uncontrollably. It sucked, but I went ahead and gave it up anyways, because I'm strong like a bear.

Fast-forward to today, when I accidentally downed a can of caffeinated Root Beer. This is the first time this has happened to me since I gave it up, and it messed me up for a good 3 hours. Thinking that all Root Beer was caffeine-free (which is a really stupid assumption), I drank it without looking at the label. Once I figured out what I had done, my head was already pounding and I couldn't concentrate on a damn thing. It's finally worn off, but damn, caffeine really sucks a 12-pak of ass. I'm now quite confident that I'm not missing out on anything, and I'll never drink it again, except by accident. If you don't think you can mistakenly drink something that's bad for you, allow me to direct you to this previous post, in which I got mistakenly bombed. Looking back, I'd much rather be drunk than buzzed on caffeine, but I'd rather be none at all.

Remember how much the President was harping about Poland during the debates? He was going on about how much they were helping us out, and how great of allies they were to the USA. He even made a point to criticize John Kerry for not including Poland in his list of countries that were fighting alongside of us.

Well, Poland is planning on pulling all of their troops from Iraq early next year. So, there you go. Another country refuses to put their citizen's lives on the line for something that they don't believe in. Meanwhile, our sons and daughters are getting slaughtered for absolutely no reason. I'm not running for President or anything, but I know that if you plan on invading a country, you should at least know how to get out of there correctly. Common sense will tell you that.

Leaving on a more positive note, we're going to get frost tonight. 27 degrees! My goodness, I love October. Grab your thick jacket and fashionable scarf, and go for a walk before it snows. I'll continue to tell you to do so until you oblige me.

October's falling
Catch and cradle with your hands
Gifts of dying trees.

I'm queer.